无为大师（2015）

Master of None S01E06

Part 2 Sept. 6, 2020, 4:12 p.m.

- We have to check it out. - All right, cool.
最近怎么样啦
Uh, so what's been going on with you?
不怎么的
Um, not much.
我一直在拍一部黑人的病毒电影
I've been filming this black virus movie
叫做致命病毒
called The Sickening.
你一定不会相信的但我演一位科学家
You're not gonna believe it, but I play a scientist.
哪类科学家啊
Ooh, what kind?
一名印度籍科学家
Um, an Indian scientist.
噢
Oh.
嘿请给我来杯告尔多咖啡还有…
Um, hey, can we get a cortado, please, and...
我也要杯告尔多咖啡
I'll take a cortado as well.
怎么回事
Um, so what's been going on?
工作上还挺顺利的
Uh, work's been good.
这星期我不得不帮别人处理一件紧急事件
I did have to put out a few fires this week
我手下的一位艺人采访时
when one of my artists used the phrase "Fat chicks"
来了句"肥妞"
in an interview.
噢不是想为这家伙辩护
Ooh, not defending this guy,
但正确的术语应该是什么呢
but what is the proper terminology there?
例如超重肥胖吗
Like, oversized, plus-sized?
知道不我想丰满可以
You know, I think maybe, like, full-bodied,
但在这情况下
but in this situation,
他说我不和肥妞瞎搞
he said, "I don't fuck with fat chicks."
所以用什么词应该也没啥帮助
So I don't think it would've helped.
呀
Yikes.
谢谢
Thank you.
-给你 -谢了
- Here you go. - Thanks.
给你
There you go.
我们要飞多久
So how long's this flight?
大概两小时
Um, about two hours.
我们看几集《创智赢家》(美国真人秀）
So we watch a couple of Shark Tank episodes,
然后嗖我们就到了
and then, boom, we're there.
噢我觉得我有
Oh, I feel like I have
很多点子可以用在《创智赢家》
so many ideas that would work on Shark Tank.
真的吗譬如呢
Really? Like what?
-例如这个Trazam -什么是Trazam
- like Trazam. - What's Trazam?
是一个树木雷达(Shazam: 听音找歌♥软件)
It's Shazam for trees.
难道你从没试过
Haven't you ever looked at
看着一棵树然后想知道这究竟是什么树么
a tree and wondered what kind of tree it was?
没还真没
No, not really.
好吧但我看着那些树时
Okay, when I look at trees,
我想知道它们是什么品种
I want to know what kind of tree it is.
天哪我刚给我的推介想到一个很好的结束语
Oh, my God, I just thought of the perfect tag to end my pitch.
但我觉得如果我说出来了
But I feel like if I said it out loud,
你一定不会再想和我出去了
you'd definitely want to end this date.
好吧是什么
All right, what is it?
这回树上真能长钱
this time, money does grow on trees.
好吧好吧约会取消
All right, well, date over.
见到你太高兴了
It was so nice meeting you.
-玩得愉快 -酷
- Have a good one. - Cool.
-给你 -谢谢
- Here you go. - Thank you.
什么事
Yes?
嘿你来自佛罗里达州吧
Hey, you're from Florida, right?
你偶遇过丹尼·格洛弗(演员)吗
You ever run into Danny Glover?
没呢因为我是来自德克萨斯州圣安东尼奥市
Uh, no, 'cause I'm from Texas... San Antonio.
-靠 -嗯
- Shit! - Yeah.
-你确定吗 -当然
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
我发誓你说过你是来自佛罗里达州的
I swear you said you were from Florida.
我没说过
Uh, I didn't say that.
你知道为嘛我搞混了
You know what happened?
其实是丹尼·格洛弗
That was actually Danny Glover.
我认识你那晚也认识他
I met him the same night I met you,
他告诉我他来自佛罗里达
and he told me he was from Florida.
这是为啥我弄混了很抱歉
That's why I got confused. I'm sorry.
一堆人把我和丹尼·格洛弗搞混
A lot of people get me mixed up for Danny Glover all the time.
他是你被弄乱最多的明星吗
He's the celebrity you get the most?
绝对是有一次我见到梅尔·吉布森(美国演员和导演)
Oh, yeah, for sure. One time, I met Mel Gibson.
他也很迷惑
He was very confused.
我很抱歉我不记得你来自德克萨斯州
I'm sorry I didn't remember you were from Texas.
我那晚绝逼是烂醉了
Uh, I was definitely hammered that night,
所以看在这份上请放我一马吧
so please just give me a pass on the basis of that.
当然啦
Oh, of course.
我几乎不记得那晚发生了什么
I barely remember anything from that night,
除了你是来自南卡罗来纳州
except for that you're from South Carolina,
你有一个弟弟
you have a younger brother,
你♥爸♥是医生
your dad's a doctor,
你在公立高中上学
and you went to a public high school for students, uh,
擅长于数学和科学外
gifted in math and science.
是的
Yeah.
但
But...
难道你不觉得这些
don't you feel like those are just assumptions
都可以用在印度人身上的假设么
you can make about any Indian person?
谢谢
Thank you.
谢
Thanks.
-这太爽啦 -是的
- This is really nice. - Yeah.
你不会是要跟我求婚或者什么其他吧
Are you gonna, like, propose to me or something?
不你不会是要跟我求婚吧
No. Are you gonna propose to me?
这听起来真不靠谱
That didn't make sense.
登记入住
Checking in.
Dev Shah
Dev Shah.
Dev Shah住一个晚上
Dev Shah for one night.
-这是你的房♥卡 -非常感谢
- Here are your room keys. - Thanks so much.
这酒店闹鬼是真的吗
Hey, is it true this hotel is haunted?
这个啊有人说自己看过一只鬼我们叫它作Alfred
Well, some people claim to have seen a ghost we call Alfred,
但他没恶意的
but he's harmless.
他是被谋杀的嘛是在我们那房♥间发生的吗
Ooh. Was he murdered? Did it happen in our room?
我们能弄个闹鬼的打折优♥惠♥吗
Can we get a ghost discount?
不能
No.
他只是在这酒店死去的在他睡梦中走的
He just died in the hotel, in his sleep.
不是在你的房♥间
It wasn't in your room.
在他睡梦中吗
In his sleep?
这听起来像是个打掩护的故事
That sounds like a decoy story.
赞同
Mm, agreed.
Timothy 就我们之间的
Between us, Timothy,
如果他真的是被谋杀的眨个眼
blink if he actually got murdered.
先生我不得不眨眼
Sir, I have to blink,
但这不代表有客人被谋杀了
but it doesn't indicate a guest was murdered.
清楚了吗
Is that clear?
嗯
Yep.
完全清楚了
Totally clear.
好啦认真地说没人被谋杀
Okay, seriously, nobody got murdered.
我们懂得
Oh, no, we understand.
好吧
Okay.
住得愉快
Enjoy your stay.
嘿谢谢你对我们坦白这个谋杀的事
Hey, and thanks for being up-front about the whole murder thing.
我们不会跟别人说的
We'll keep that between us.
我希望我们能见到这只Alfred鬼出来搞怪
Man, I hope we get some Alfred the Ghost action.
那不是很酷的事吗
Wouldn't that be awesome?
嗯但老实说
Yeah, but, to be honest,
我一点都不相信有鬼
I don't really believe in ghosts.
神马为什么啊
What? Why?
我只是觉得整个鬼怪理论里存在个很大的漏洞
I just think that there's a whole flaw in the ghost thing.
好吧我们都是动物对吧
Okay, we're just animals, right?
所以如果我们死了
So if we die
我们可以变成鬼魂
and we get to become ghosts,
那为什么没有其他动物变成鬼魂呢
how come no other animals get ghosts?
哇
Whoa.
说得真有道理
That's a good point.
就像你从没听过有
Yeah, like, you never hear about
住在澳洲破旧旅馆的小情侣
some couple staying in an old hotel in Australia
被考拉的鬼魂骚扰了吧
getting haunted by koala bear ghosts.
至于喜欢它是因为它们很可爱啊