无为大师（2015）

Master of None S01E03

Part 7 Sept. 6, 2020, 4:11 p.m.

Yeah.
说清楚点我可不是自己去的
To be clear, not a solo mission.
我带我的小外甥去的
I took my little cousin.
噢那演出如何
Oh, and how was the show?
很棒
It was awesome.
那些小屁孩都玩疯了
Little kids were going ape shit.
他们演奏了他们的热门歌♥曲
They did all their big hits.
-例如Hot Potato(儿歌♥) -嗯哼
- Hot Potato. - Mm-hmm.
-Wheels on he Bus(儿歌♥) -嗯
- Wheels on the Bus. - Yep.
还有Heads Shoulders Knees and Toes(儿歌♥)
And Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.
没错
Yes.
跟你说一个业界小秘密吧
Well, I'm gonna let you in on a little industry secret.
The Silly Billies是群恶魔
The Silly Billies are monsters.
啥不会吧我不信啊
What? No, I don't believe that.
是真的我朋友和他们一起工作
Yeah, I have a friend who works with them,
她说他们是她合作过最大牌的明星
and she says they're the biggest divas she's ever worked with.
这人还和Mariah Carey合作过的
And this is from somebody who repped Mariah Carey.
哇她是世纪天后演唱会一员啊
Ooh, one of VH1's Divas Live!
VH1 Divas Live：美国音乐频道从1998年起主办的慈善演唱会
他们甚至不会搭乘同一班飞机
They can't even be on the same flight together
因为他们间乱七八糟的关系
because there was all this drama
因为蓝Billy上了红Billy的老婆
because the Blue Billy fucked the Red Billy's wife
而绿Billy在旁边看着
while the Green Billy watched.
不不不那不会是真的
No, no, no, that's not true.
那绝不可能
That can't be true.
绝对是真的
It's super true.
他们乐队中还有一人有恋脚癖
And one of the Billies is obsessed with feet.
都是些什么人会喜欢脚啊
What is up with those dudes that are into feet?
好多人都有这怪癖
You know, so many dudes are into feet.
如果你Google搜索任何女名星的名字
If you Google any female celebrity's name,
第一个出现的结果就是脚
the first thing that comes up is "Feet."
我是真不能明白
I don't get it.
那你迷恋什么喜欢胸吗
What are you more into? Are you a boobs guy?
还是喜欢屁屁
Butts guy?
还是头肩膝盖或者脚趾头呢
Head, shoulders, knees, and toes guy?
嗯这就是我
Yes, that's me.
我通常Google
I usually Google
斯嘉丽·约翰逊
"Scarlett Johansson,
的头肩膝盖以及脚趾
head, shoulders, knees, and toes."
有时候只搜索头和肩
Sometimes I do just the head and shoulders,
但搜出来的是洗发水我真是困惑
but the shampoo comes up. It's very confusing.
呃这首歌♥可能是有史以来
Um, well, this is maybe the most amazing song
最好听的创作了
that's ever been created.
共舞一曲吗
Would you be opposed to dancing?
噢好啊等下
Oh, yeah, hold on.
好了
All right.
(BGM: Mark Morrison -Return of the Mack)
你的夹克有好多拉链啊
Your jacket has a lot of zippers.
是啊有很多小口袋呗
Yeah, there's a lot of little compartments.
你有什么要放的小物件吗
Do you have any tiny objects that need storage?
我有咳嗽药水
I have cough drops.
噢好的
Oh, yeah.
所以你把它们放在这儿
Yeah, so you put them in here.
那就是用来放这个的
That's what this is for.
专门存放小咳嗽药水的
It's a little cough drop storage area, you know.
我骑摩托时有时会喉咙痛
I'm riding my motorcycle, sometimes I get a sore throat.
打开塞嘴里一管儿药然后接着骑
Boop, pop a couple in, keep on riding.
不这声音什么意思
No, what's that noise?
这不是个好反应啊
That's not a good noise.
我前男友刚刚从西雅图搬回来
So my ex-boyfriend just moved back from Seattle...
不
No!
我们正在尝试复合
Kind of try and work it out.
别啊怎么能这样啊
No, come on.
你在骗我你特么在逗我
You're lying to me. You're fucking with me.
我之前有想过要告诉你
I was gonna try and tell you earlier,
但我不想搞得太尴尬
but I didn't want to make it weird.
但这也很尴尬啊
This is weird, too, though.
这这真的很尴尬我真抱歉
This is... This is so weird, I'm sorry.
-就是啊天哪为啥啊 -我知道
- Yeah, no. God, no, why? - I know...
为啥啊
Why? Why? Why? Why?
太可惜了你很好啊
No, you're so cool.
好人不多见啊
There's not a lot of cool people.
你为什么这样对我
Why would you do this to me?
我也不是有意这样对你的
I'm not trying to "Do this" To you.
对不起我也觉得你超好的
I'm sorry. I think you're really cool, too.
天啊真糟糕
God, that sucks.
你那么你这么好
You're... You're awesome.
而且靠
And, uh... Fuck.
我不知道
I don't know.
-好吧 -嗯
- All right. - Well.
啥我们现在只能握手了吗
What, we're shaking hands now?
少来我们可以抱抱的
Come on. We can hug.
-我们可以抱抱 -好吧
- We can hug. - Okay.
你知道不我那玩意儿还肿着呢
You know, my stuff's been up in the...
-它还一直期待着呢 -好啦我们抱抱
- I've been up in them guts. - Okay, we'll hug.
好啦别说啦嘘
Come on, shh.
真的很好能见到你真好
Hey, it was really nice... It was really nice seeing you.
能见到你真好
It was... It was good seeing you.
-嗯 -直到这一刻
- All right. - Until this part.
-直到这一部分 -这真糟糕
- Until this part. - This is terrible.
-是啊糟透了 -我懂了
- Yes, it was. - I get it. I get it.
我想现在只有一句话可以说了
And I guess there's only one thing left to say.
去你的我要回家了
Screw you guys. I'm going home.
哇你学Cartman还真像
Whoa. That's a pretty good Cartman.
这是我的储备技能呢
I was keeping that in my back pocket.
哈真不错
Yeah, well done.
好了回见吧 Dev
All right. I'll see you later, Dev.
好吧拜
All right, bye.
拜拜
Bye.