无为大师（2015）

Master of None S01E01

Part 4 Sept. 6, 2020, 4:10 p.m.

What else has been going on with you, man?
没啥了
Not much.
对了你看了Denzel Washington最新的电影了吗
Ooh, did you see that new Denzel Washington movie yet?
还没呢
Nope.
你知道我看了什么吗肯塔基州的企鹅
You know what I have seen? The Kentucky Penguin.
那是说啥的
What's that about?
没说啥
What is it about?
就是一个小孩的动画电影
It's an animated kids' movie.
就像看了一个半小时的垃圾
It's, like, bright garbage for an hour and a half.
死啊我忘记了
Oh, damn it. I forgot.
我本来要参加一个会议的
I am supposed to go to a meeting.
我现在要取消它了
I'm gonna have to cancel
或者不知道了带这些调皮蛋一起去
or... I don't know... take these guys with me.
不如我帮你照看他们
Oh, hey, why don't I watch them
当你开会的时候
while you go to the meeting
然后我们晚点在你家见
and we'll just meet up later at your place?
你确定你能搞定他们吗
Are you sure that you can watch them?
可以的我就带他们去公园或者哪玩一下
Yeah, I'll just take them to the park or something.
嘿你们想和我待一会儿吗
Hey, don't you guys want to hang out
就不跟妈妈了
with me for a little bit instead of your mom?
-好耶 -好极了
- Yeah! - Yeah! You're awesome!
好吧你赢了
Oh, all right. You win.
所以你们俩就和Dev叔叔呆一会咯
So you guys hang with Uncle Dev for a while,
那我们等下见
and then I'll see you later.
好吗
Okay? Yeah.
好的太酷了
All right, cool.
如果有其他事情我会发短♥信♥给你
I'll text you if anything comes up.
好的如果谁走丢了或者有谁流血了就发短♥信♥给我吧
Okay, just text if one goes missing or there's blood...
就是那种大出血
Like, a lot of blood.
-收到好的 -好
- Got it. Cool. - Okay.
-拜拜妈妈 -好啦听话啦
- Bye, Mommy! - All right, behave.
好吧谁想去公园里玩
All right, who wants to go play in the park
一会儿
for a little bit?
太好了
Yeah!
-你真厉害 -是的你最厉害了
- You're the man! - Yeah, you're the man!
谢谢啦好啦走吧
Oh, thanks. Cool. All right, let's go.
等我一下
Wait for me!
太酷了
Awesome!
我们会抓到你的 Dev
We're gonna get you, Dev!
我做到啦
I did it!
好啦小屁孩们
All right, guys.
看起来又要下雨了
It looks like it's gonna start raining again.
我们可以回公♥寓♥了
We can go back to the apartment,
或者我们可以买♥♥些雪糕
or we can get some ice cream.
太棒了
Yeah!
棒呆了
Awesome.
我听说有个新店有意式冰淇淋
I heard about this new place... This gelato spot.
应该挺好吃的想去吗
It's supposed to be really good. You want to go there?
-去16 Handles -16 Handles吗酸奶冰淇淋啊
- 16 Handles! - 16 Handles? Frozen yogurt?
不啦那雪糕一点都不好吃去我说的地方啦
No, that's ice cream for losers. Let's go to my spot.
雪糕本应该奶油满满的
It's supposed to be the creamiest.
不
No!
好吧我们去那吧走
All right, fine. We'll go there. Let's go.
黑人小姐中国男人
Black lady! Chinese man!
嘿嘿嘿别大声喊出别人的种族
Hey, hey, hey, don't yell out people's ethnicities.
对不起
Sorry.
好啊酸奶冰淇淋我们到了
All right, frozen yogurt. We made it.
-你想吃什么味道的呢 -他们都有什么啊
- What flavor do you want? - What do they have?
墙上都写着不同的口味
They're all written up there on the board.
我不认字
I can't read.
噢我都没想到这点
Ooh, I didn't think about that.
我念出来怎么样
Well, how about I read them off?
当你们听到想要的就叫停我好吧
When you hear what you want, you stop me, okay?
好
Okay.
他们有香草味巧克力味
They have vanilla, chocolate,
草莓的曲奇和鲜奶油的
strawberry, cookies and cream,
泡泡糖奶酪胡桃
bubble gum, butter pecan,
薄荷巧克力碎片
mint chocolate chip,
彩虹雪酪
rainbow sherbet...
没啥喜欢的吗
Nothing?
巧克力豆咖啡味
Chocolate chip, coffee,
花生酱杯
peanut butter cup,
草莓芝士蛋糕
strawberry cheesecake.
就这些了
That's it.
-我要香草味 -是的我也要一样的
- I want vanilla. - Yeah, me, too.
我第一个就读了香草啦为什么你们不叫停我呢
That was the first one. Why didn't you stop me?
我喜欢香草味
I like vanilla.
好啦你们要香草味
Fine. You guys get vanilla.
我要来试试草莓芝士蛋糕
I'm gonna try the strawberry cheesecake.
不行你一定要香草味
No, you have to get vanilla.
我们都要香草味
We all get vanilla.
香草味
Vanilla.
但我想要试那芝士蛋糕的
But I want to try the cheesecake.
不能够香草
No! Vanilla!
香草香草香草
Vanilla, vanilla, vanilla!
我想成为间谍的另一个原因是
Another reason I want to be a spy is,
我会有一把镭射枪
I'll get a laser gun.
哇
Whoa.
Dev 我一定要去一趟洗手间
Dev, I have to use the bathroom.
好吧我们能回你家那个吗
All right, well, can we go at your house?
我们很快就到了
We're almost there.
现在要去
Now!
好啦
All right.
快来
Come on.
好啦到你啦
All right, that's you.
去吧
Go for it.
不行我要你一起进来
No, I want you to come.
进厕所里吗不行我不能这样
In the bathroom? No, I can't do that.
在大人的眼里这是不被赞成的事情
That's frowned upon in the adult world.
但我想你进来啊
But I want you to come.
我不能自己进去啊
I can't go in there by myself.
我就在这里会没事的
I'll be right here. It'll be fine.
但门关了后很可怕的
But it's scary when the door closes.
我会害怕
I get scared.
好啦我看看这些美女们有没有愿意陪你好吗
All right, let me see if one of these ladies will go, okay?
这个不好意思女士
Um, excuse me, madam,
你介意陪一下我照看的这小女孩
would you mind accompanying this young lady I'm babysitting
一起进洗手间吗
into the bathroom?
她有些害怕
She's a little scared.
为什么不问我呢
Why didn't you ask me?
我看起来不够女人吗
Am I not enough of a madam?
不是的我只是觉得她看起来
Uh, no, I just thought she looked like
更像一个做妈妈的人
more of a mom-type person.
哦所以你觉得我很老了
Oh, so you think I'm old?
别这样我可没说老啊
Aw, come on. I didn't say old.
我是说妈妈的类型
I said mom-type.
我没啥特别意思的
I didn't mean anything by that.
我是说这你介意吗
I mean, come on. Just... Do you mind?
真的是我不想
It would really... I just don't want...
我要拉尿尿啦
I need to go now.
好啦我猜只能自己来了
All right, well, guess I'm doing this.
谢谢
Thanks.
你知道嘛
You know,
我理解为什么你们不帮我
I understand why you're not helping me.
但我想让你们知道在我心里
But I just want you to know in my heart,
无意冒犯大家
I meant no offense to either of you.
请忙帮照看Grant
Please watch Grant.
那么
So...
你需要我在这里做什么呢
what exactly do you need me to do here?
就是陪着我
Just keep me company.
所以不需要帮你擦屁屁之类的