无为大师（2015）

Master of None S01E05

Part 4 Sept. 6, 2020, 4:12 p.m.

你是怎么转变成一辆车呢
How do you get the power to turn into a car?
这就看编剧的本事了
That's where you come in, writer.
你怎么看
What do you think?
也许你坐在车里
Maybe you're sitting in your car
然后被闪电击中
and you get struck by lightning?
这个不错
That's good.
非常好
That's very good.
我只是随便说说
Just a thought.
这可能是我听过的最好的想法
That might be the single greatest idea I've ever heard.
是吗
It is?
到目前为止
Until now.
因为Dev你启发了我
Because, Dev, I'm inspired by you,
我感觉得到你的真传了
and I am feeding off your energy.
我觉得我想出来一个电影名字
And I think I've come up with a title for the film:
汽车人
CarPerson.
不等等
No, wait. Wait.
汽车人类
CarHuman.
为什么不叫汽车侠
Why not just CarMan?
Colin Salmon是汽车侠
"Colin Salmon is CarMan."
Dev 你又启发了我太妙了
Dev, you've done it again! It's brilliant.
我们应该吃个肉桂卷庆祝一下
And we should celebrate with a Cinnabon,
你不能说不
and I won't take no for an answer.
好吧那我来一个
Okay, I'll have one.
赞
Great!
现在只要等奶浆融化
We just have to wait for the glaze to thaw.
得花上几个小时
Takes a few hours.
黄昏前应该能好
Should be ready by nightfall.
你有什么特色食物吗
Do you have any specials?
金刚香蕉船
Yeah, the King Kong Banana Split.
我们把冰淇淋香蕉和菠萝混一起
We take ice cream, bananas, and pineapple,
再加了芝麻焦糖和樱桃酒
and we add sesame caramel and Luxardo.
特别好吃
It's amazing.
哇我要一个
Whoa, I'll take it.
好的
Okay.
Clark
Clark, right.
嘿Greg 等一下
Hey, hold on one second, Greg.
这个矮冬瓜点的我也来一份看起来不错
Uh, give me whatever this pudge-ball's having. That looks good.
这也要一个
Yeah, I'll have one of those too.
对不起这是最后一个了
I'm sorry, that was the last one.
什么但我就排在后面啊
What? But I was next in line.
嘿不好意思
Hey, excuse me.
我才是排在队里的你插队了
I was actually next in line. You cut in front of me.
那是最后一份金刚香蕉船
That's the last King Kong Banana Split.
我觉得你应该把那个给我
I kind of feel like you got to give that to me.
我不知道
I don't know.
这个人他妈在和我说话
This guy's fucking talking to me.
就是他
It's him.
等一下
Hold on a second.
你特么说啥呢
What the hell are you talking about?
我是下一位你插队了
I was next in line. You cut in front.
听着小屁孩那有很多冰淇淋
Look, kid, there's plenty of ice cream here.
我没时间听你扯
I don't have time for this shit.
太难吃了
Oh, that is disgusting.
Greg 你只要让他去签个字
Just get him to sign the fucking thing, Greg!
我和Nina上♥床♥了
So, uh, I hooked up with Nina.
哦你不应该那么做
Oh, nah, you should not have done that.
什么鬼是你让我上的
What? You were the one that told me to do it.
你说没什么大不了的
You said it wasn't a big deal.
是但那更像是一种抽象讨论
Yeah, but that was more of an abstract discussion.
怎么抽象了
How was it abstract?
这是我现实生活中存在的人
It's a real person in my real life.
如果你被发现了你可能会毁了他们的生活
If you get caught, you could ruin these people's lives.
我只是说小心点亲
I'm just saying, be careful, man.
小心点么
Be careful?
你不是那种让你老板每十五分钟
Aren't you the one making your boss come
高♥潮♥N次的人吗
a thousand times every 15 minutes?
是啊但我们之间是真的
Yeah, but what we have is real, okay?
别他妈地拿我们来说事好嘛
Do not be fucking with our dynamics, all right?
重点是你搞乱了这女人
The point is, you are messing with a serious bond
生命中很重要的一段关系
in this woman's life.
不会轻轻地夺走
It's like, it's not to be taken lightly.
你为什么上次不说这话
Why didn't you say this shit last time?
我没觉得你会真去做啊
I didn't think you'd actually go through with it.
为什么不
Why not?
因为你是个有原则的人
Because you're a man of principles.
这是我一直佩服你的地方
That's something I've always respected about you, Dev.
谢谢你这么说
Well, that's nice.
但我现在不这么认为了
Yeah, but I don't think that shit anymore,
在这之后
not after this.
管他就发生了一次
Well, whatever, all right? It was a one-time thing.
没什么大不了的
It's not a big deal.
她老公又不会杀了我
Her husband's not gonna murder me.
是Colin Salmon 他要和我FaceTime
It's Colin Salmon. He's FaceTiming me.
我得接一下可能和汽车侠有关
I guess I got to take it. It might be about CarMan.
汽车侠是什么鬼听起来很傻♥逼♥
What the fuck is CarMan? That sounds stupid.
喂
Hello?
喂 Dev
Hello? Dev?
我是Colin Salmon
It's Colin Salmon.
我需要你马上来我的公♥寓♥
I need you to get over to the apartment right away.
我这有很紧急的事
I've got something really urgent.
你能尽快赶来吗
So if you can get over as quickly as you can?
是关于汽车侠的吗
Oh, okay, is this about CarMan?
不是比那还重要的事
No, it's much more important than that.
好吧把你家的地址发给我
All right, well, um... Uh, yeah, just text me your address.
我马上过来
I'll be right over.
回见
See you soon.
卧♥槽♥ 听起来很紧张
What the fuck? Seems intense.
你来付钱对吧
All right, you got these, right?
-我一会回来 -什么
- I'll be right back. - What?
事实上我不会回来了
Well, actually, I'm not gonna come back.
我准备走了但你买♥♥单对吧
I'm just gonna leave. But you got these, right?
搞什么好吧
What the fuck? I guess.
我有机会会还你人情的
I'll hit you back at some point.
你总是那么说
You keep saying that.
Colin？
Colin?
嘿 Colin
Hey, Colin?
让我先看完这个十四行诗
Just let me finish this sonnet.
Dev 欢迎你
Dev, welcome.
哇你家装♥修♥得不错
Wow, this is an amazing apartment.
是的
Yes, it is.
你来的正好
You're just in time.
我有一些很特别的东西给你看
I've got something very special to show you.
卧♥槽♥
Holy shit!
你做的吗
Did you make this?
这是我的爱好
This is my passion project.
不是很多人知道
Not many people realize,
我是个业余多米诺玩家
but I'm an amateur toppler.
你愿意开启多米诺效应吗
Would you like to initiate the domino effect?
-我吗 -没错
- Me? - Mm.
难道你不想亲自把它们弄倒吗
I mean, don't you want to knock them down?
你一定花了很多时间来布置
It must have taken you hours to set this up.
事实上是几周
Weeks, actually.
但对于我来说布置才是我的乐趣
But for me, the joy comes from setting it all up.
来
Here.
拿着棍子开始推吧
Take the pushing wand and begin the sequence.
(BGM: Bach - Brandenburg Concerto No 3 Allegro)
这是纪念喵星人Shakespeare
That was for Shakespeare.
这太了不起了
That was incredible.
是的
Yes.
谢谢你过来
Well, thanks for coming over.
剧组见吧