无为大师（2015）

Master of None S01E04

Part 2 Sept. 6, 2020, 4:12 p.m.

或者设计手套或者在电影里
or he designs mittens or does one of the jobs
演布莱德利·库珀演的角色呢
Bradley Cooper's characters do in movies?
兄弟我也这么想
Dude, I think about that too.
只不过我等不了了我需要工作
I just can't wait for that. I got to work.
听着与此同时我可以
And, look, in the meantime, I can do good things
好好利用挣来的钱
with this Pradeep money.
我是说我可以向慈善机构捐款
I mean, I can go donate money to charity.
可以去买♥♥漂亮衣服
I can buy cool clothes.
这个嘛至少他们现在真的
Well, at least they're actually
找印度人去演那些角色
getting Indian actors to do those roles now
而不是走电影《霹雳五号♥2》的老路
and not going the Short Circuit 2 route.
《霹雳五号♥2》那电影有什么问题
What's wrong with Short Circuit 2?
他们找了个白人来演印度人
They got a white guy to play an Indian guy.
什么那那个机器人电影吗
What, the rob... The robot movie?
就那霹雳五号♥机器人吗
With Johnny Five?
等一下你不知道吗
Wait, you don't know this?
等一下你是指哪个印度人啊
Wait, which Indian guy are you talking about?
老兄
Dude.
-这家伙是白人 -那机器人还是那印度人啊
-That guy's a white guy. -The robot or the Indian?
那印度人是白人演得那是Fisher Stevens
The Indian guy is a white guy. That's Fisher Stevens.
-他们用化妆效果把脸画成褐色 -等一下什么
-They used brownface makeup. -Wait, what?
嗯他们找来个真机器人和一个假印度人
Yeah. They got a real robot and a fake Indian.
不好意思兄弟我只是
I'm sorry, man. I'm just...
哇我现在心情很复杂啊
Wow, I'm experiencing a lot of emotions right now.
那那是我最喜欢的其中一位印度演员
Man, that's, like, one of my favorite Indian actors.
兄弟这事现在还有你看了《社交网络》吗
Dude, it still happens. You see The Social Network?
Max Minghella演一个印度人
Max Minghella plays an Indian guy.
他是白人他们把他画成褐色了
He's white. They browned him up.
不不我看了他有1/16的印度血统
No, no. I read that he's 1/16 Indian.
谁关心啊
Who cares?
如果你硬要算我们都有1/16的其他血统
If you go back far enough, we're all 1/16 something.
我可能都有1/16的黑人血统呢
I'm probably 1/16 black.
你觉得他们会让我演刀锋战士吗
You think they're gonna let me play Blade?
Blade: 《刀锋战士》系列电影中的刀锋战士
你争取过《社交网络》里的角色吗
Did you go out for The Social Network?
兄弟我的经纪人很烂
Dude, I got the worst agents, man.
我是说这些都是极端的例子
I mean, look. Those are extremes, right?
还是有些不错的东西
There's stuff out there that's good,
不那么陈规老套的你懂得
that's not stereotypes, you know.
你要去《三个好朋友》试镜吗
Are you going out for Three Buddies?
《三个好朋友》什么东西
Three Buddies? What is that?
是一部新的情景喜剧不限人种的
It's this new sitcom. It's open ethnicity.
就三个住在纽约的家伙
It's just three guys living in New York.
-没有口音 -你能转发给我吗
-No accent, nothing. -Can you forward that to me?
-当然可以 -我要炒了我的经纪人
-Sure. -I've got to fire my agents.
噢我刚收到Anush的短♥信♥
Oh, I just got a text from Anush.
我想那孟买♥♥肌肉吃得我要分泌乳汁了
"I think Mumbai Muscle might be causing me to lactate."
这老兄看来挺严重的
This is... Dude, this is, like, a code red.
-我得打电♥话♥给他 -好的去吧
-I got to call him. -Sure. Go. Go for it.
Nush
Nush.
哇慢点慢点
Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. Slow down.
你确定那是奶吗
Are you sure it's milk?
老兄啊别担心那些投资了
Well, dude, don't worry about the investment.
你得去医院
You got to get to the hospital.
他在分泌乳汁啊
He's lactating.
嘿老兄这是商务休闲装吗
Hey, man, is this business casual?
难道我应该穿外套吗
Am I supposed to wear a coat?
我穿着太随便了吗
Do I look too casual?
嘿你们去
Hey, well, that's what
巴哈马旅游就是这样的
you get when you take a trip to the Bahamas.
演得真好 Dev
That was really great, Dev.
-我会再联♥系♥你 -谢谢
-We'll be in touch. -Thanks so much.
-Dev -怎么了
-Dev. -What up?
老兄太感谢了
Dude, thank you so much, man.
-看起来不错 -当然啦
-Good looking out. -Of course.
嘿小心里面的残局
Hey, watch out for the debris in there.
嗯
Yeah.
等一下什么
Wait, what?
我只是在引用那天你说的话
I'm referencing what you said the other day.
关于搞砸了试镜
About destroying the audition.
哦
Oh.
你居然没反应过来
Well, that interaction didn't go as planned.
祝好运吧
Good luck, man.
好的
All right, man.
哟你觉得我们会是第一代
Yo, so do y'all think we're gonna be the first generation
体验人机合一的人吗
to experience the singularity?
什么鬼东西
What's that?
Carla昨晚跟我说的
Carla was telling me about it last night.
就是你的思想与网络
It's the idea of your mind fusing with the Internet
还有电脑融合在一起人机合一了
and computers so man and machine become one.
哦去死
Oh, fuck!
我经纪人刚给我发邮件说我没拿到《三个好朋友》的角色
My agent just emailed me and said I didn't get Three Buddies.
很抱歉发生什么了
Oh, man, I'm sorry. What happened?
好吧我想不用管我那些有趣的话题了
Okay, so just fuck my interesting topic, then, I guess.
哇
Whoa.
我想我意外得到一个转发邮件对话
I think I accidentally got forwarded an email chain.
我不应该看到这些邮件的
I'm not supposed to see this.
节目的创作人说 Dev和Ravi都很好
The show creator says, "Dev and Ravi are perfect."
然后一个叫Joan的高层写到我非常同意
Then this executive Joan writes, "Totally agree.
我想我们找到了头两位哥们了
Think we just found our first two buddies!"
然后这叫Jerry Danvers的家伙说他们都很好
Then this guy Jerry Danvers says, "Both really great,
但两个人不能都入选
but there can't be two."
两个不能一起吗
Can't be two?
什么不能两个都是印度人吗
What, can't be two Indian guys?
这不搞砸吗
Isn't that kind of messed up?
嗯因为种族歧视
Yes, because of racism.
另一个人说你更喜欢谁 Ravi或者Dev呢
This other person says, "Who do you like better, Ravi or Dev?"
他写到我不知道啊等我再见见他们
He writes, "I don't know. Let's meet them both
看他们谁更懂得拍我们马屁吧(curry字面意思:咖哩) 哈哈哈
and see who can curry our favor, hahaha."
拍马屁吗开什么国际玩笑啊
"Curry our favor"? Are you fucking serious?
靠如果那邮件被泄露了这家伙会被开除的
Damn. Man, if that email got leaked, that person would get fired.
我不知道额 Denise
Mm, I don't know. Come on, Denise.
他们不会这么做的
People don't get that
就因为歧视亚洲人或者印度人而炒人鱿鱼
fired up about racist Asian or Indian stuff.
我觉得只有当你说黑人或同志的坏话
I feel like you only really risk starting a brouhaha
才有可能挑起舆♥论♥大混乱
if you say something bad about black people or gay people.
如果当年Paula Deen(美国名厨美食节目主持)说
I mean, if Paula Deen had said,
我不想招待印度人
"I don't want to serve Indian people,"
没人会关心的
no one would really care.
他们只会继续吃自己的饼干
They'd just go back to eating the biscuits.
Paula Deen在2013年曾因一些歧视黑人言论惹上官司
嗯但Paula Deen并没惹上什么麻烦
Yeah, but Paula Deen didn't get in trouble anyway.
我是说她假惺惺地道歉
I mean, she gave some fake-ass apology
然后又回去继续弄那些高热量食物
and then went back to making fatty foods.
是的但她至少得道歉对吧
True, but she did have to apologize, right?
她还不得不去见Al Sharpton(牧师人♥权♥领袖)
Like, she had to go meet with Al Sharpton.
这都算惩罚的一种吧
I mean, that's kind of the punishment, right?
你得去找Al Sharpton 还要和他喝茶什么的
You got to find Al Sharpton and go have tea with him or whatever.
我们不认识这样一个人
We don't have a person like that.
那你应该去见谁呢
Like, who are you supposed to meet with?
Deepak Chopra 那个No Doubt乐队的印度人吗
Deepak Chopra? The Indian dude from No Doubt?
那我要倾诉的人是谁啊
Yeah, like, who's my guy?
Steve Aoki(日裔歌♥手) 还是George Takei吗(日裔演员)
Steve Aoki? George Takei?
他正忙着同志的事情
He's busy with gay stuff.
那我又得找谁
Who's my girl?
难道要找奥普拉(美国著名脱口秀主持人)吗
Like, Oprah?
还是碧昂斯啊
Or Beyonce?
哦靠我挑了个大腕算了
Oh, shit, I got the heavy hitters. Never mind.
你知道嘛尽管"拍马屁"很糟糕啊
You know, "Curry our favor" Is pretty bad, though.
但我觉得放在赫芬顿邮报
I feel like that would be pretty awesome
头条会很酷
on a Huffington Post headline.