无为大师（2015）

Master of None S01E10

Part 2 Sept. 6, 2020, 4:13 p.m.

and make it beautiful as it goes through you.
你就像面棱镜
You're like this prism that takes in light
可以把光折射出五彩斑斓的颜色
and turns it into all these beautiful colors.
每次我看到你
Every time I see your face,
都能感到幸福感满满
I feel this rush of happiness and excitement
想着能与你共度一生都会无比激动
that this is the person I'll spend my life with,
我等不及下半辈子
and I can't wait to have that feeling
都能有这种感觉了
for the rest of my life.
Rachel 我...
Rachel, I'm...
不是百分百确定
not 100% sure about this.
你是那个要和我共度一生的真命天女
Are you the one person that I'm supposed to be with forever?
我他妈不知道
I don't fucking know.
还有什么其他选择
And what's the other option?
我们分手吗
We break up?
听起来也很扯
That seems shitty too.
我真的爱你
And I love you. I do.
我非常爱你
I love you so much
但不及Larry爱Andrea那样
but not as much as Larry loves Andrea.
靠
Damn.
天啊噜那种爱存在吗
Goddamn. I mean, that exists?
没有疑虑没有害怕什么都没有的
No doubts, no fears, nothing?
拜托
Come on.
我不知道我猜...
I don't know, I guess...
这一刻来说结婚只是一个比较安全的赌注
getting married just is a safer bet at this point.
对不起我只是在想
Sorry, I was just thinking
我人生的其他可能性
about other paths my life could have taken.
Dev 你是个好男人
Dev, you're a great guy.
你真的是
You really are.
但你说得对
But you're right.
我们就该永远在一起吗
Are we supposed to be together forever?
我不知道
I don't know.
现在感觉很糟糕
And it just sucks because it just feels like
感觉像是一切都安排好了
everything's laid out now.
没有更多的惊喜
There are no more surprises.
我们结婚生小孩变老后我们就死了
We get married, have kids, get old, and then we die.
基本上我在你身上投资了我最美好的两年青春
And I've basically invested two of my prime years with you,
所以我应该全压下去
so I should just go all in.
这就是个数学问题
That's just math.
所以继续吧
So let's do this.
快点
Quickly.
Dev 你愿意以一个老掉牙的习俗喜结连理
Do you, Dev, take Rachel to be your partner
选择Rachel作为你的伴侣
in a possibly outdated institution
让自己过上所谓的正常生活吗
in order to have a "Normal" Life?
你准备好为了一棵树
Are you ready to give up
而放弃整片森林
an idealistic search for a soul mate
试图和Rachel将就一下
and try to make it work with Rachel
让自己的生活可以继续吗
so you can move forward with your life?
我愿意
I do.
那你呢 Rachel 愿意承诺
And do you, Rachel, promise to make
随大流在这个适婚年龄
a crazy eternal bond with this gentleman
和这位恰好出现在你生命中的男人
who you happen to be dating at this stage in your life
共结连理吗
when people normally get married?
我愿意
I do.
现在我宣布你们俩结婚了
I now pronounce you two people who might realize
但三年内你们可能就会发现自己不幸地犯下错误
they've made an unfortunate mistake in about three years.
现在你对Rachel不确定了吗
Now you're not sure about Rachel?
我以为你们一起生活后
I thought you were living together.
一切都好
Everything was going good.
出了什么问题
What's the problem?
我不知道
I don't know.
可能就是太焦虑了你懂吗
It's just intense, you know?
我是说在这个年龄不管你跟谁在约会
I mean, whoever you're dating now at this age
都有可能是你共度一生的那个人
could be who you end up with.
这是个重大的抉择很难决定的
It's a big decision. It's hard.
儿啊你真是太犹豫不决了
Po-da-po. You are so indecisive.
当你是个小孩时你问
When you were a kid, you said,
爸我能踢足球吗
"Dad, can I play soccer?
我能玩网球吗
Can I play tennis?
我能打篮球吗
Can I play basketball?"
我呢我就很果断
Me, I'm so decisive.
我就打高尔夫
I play golf.
我选择了你妈妈
I chose your mom.
我们马上就结婚了没有问题
We got married right away, no problem.
是啊可那完全不一样
Yeah, but that's totally different.
那是包办婚姻
It was an arranged marriage.
在你选择我妈之前你见过多少女人呢
How many women did you meet before you decided on Ma?
-两个 -两个吗就这了吗
-Two. -Two? That's it?
第一位女士有什么问题
What was wrong with the first lady?
她有点儿太高了
She was a little bit too tall.
她一站起来我的反应是噢惨了
As soon as she stood up, I was like, "Oh, no."
你得学着做决定了男子汉
You have to learn to make decisions, man.
你好像一个坐在无花果树前的女人
You are like woman sitting in front of the fig tree
盯着所有的枝桠直到整棵树死掉
staring at all the branches till the tree dies.
等下什么女人什么树啊
Wait, what woman? What tree?
Sylvia Plath的《钟形罩》
Sylvia Plath, Bell Jar.
你从不看书
You never read.
你永远在油管上乱看
You're always on the YouTube.
嗒嗒嗒嗒嗒嗒地打游戏
Playing tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
好吧
All right.
看你还年轻呢
Look, you are a young man.
你可以好好体验自己的人生
You can do a lot of things with your life:
选择职业女朋友去旅行
career, girlfriend, travel.
你甚至可以开始组建个家庭
You can even start a family.
但你必须做决定
But you have to make the decision
并能为此付出努力
and do something about it.
如果不这样你就始终无所事事
If you don't, you're doing nothing,
然后树就死了
and the tree dies.
去书店看看那本书吧
Go to the bookstore and get that book.
哦你去书店时
Oh, while you are there,
能帮我买♥♥哈利波特系列的书吗
can you get me the Harry Potter books?
现在才对哈利波特入迷是不是有点晚了
Isn't it a little late in the game to get into Harry Potter?
我听说这书很好啊
I heard it's good.
好吧
All right.
哦见鬼
Oh, shit.
我得去医院了
I got to go to the hospital.
有人被鸡骨头卡到了喉头
Somebody got a chicken bone in their throat.
好吧呃祝他好运
All right, well, good luck with that.
首映礼上见
I'll see you at the premiere.
说说你的角色吧
So tell me about your role.
Dr.Vincent算得上是电影的灵魂人物
Um, Dr. Vincent is kind of the heartbeat of the film, you know?
他说出观众的所思所想
He voices what the audience is thinking.
他有点像希腊歌♥咏队
He's kind of like the Greek chorus
结合我的情况是印度的歌♥咏队
or, in my case, the Indian chorus.
好吧非常感谢享受这电影
All right, well, thanks so much. Enjoy the film.
哇那个印度歌♥咏队的笑话真是酷毙了
Wow, that Indian chorus joke totally killed.
砰
Boom.
你好吗花♥花♥公♥子♥
What up, playboy?
哥们这太难以置信了
Dude, this is incredible.
我刚刚撞上了摩里斯·切斯塔特
I just bumped into Morris Chestnut,
他还对我说别挡道
and he told me to get out of his fucking way.
真棒
It was great.
-兄弟 -耶
-Buddy! -Yeah!
祝贺啊兄弟
Congratulations, man.
我真为你骄傲
I'm so proud of you.
听着为庆祝你的大日子
Listen, I got you a little present
我准备了个小礼物
to help celebrate your big day.
哇这是一份《美国周刊》
Whoa. This a copy of Us Weekly?
是啊你现在是好莱坞的大明星啦
Yeah, you're a Hollywood big shot now.
你要知道人们如何评价你
You got to know what people are saying about you.
哇我在里面吗
Whoa, I'm in this?
没有但里面有一篇很棒的文章