无为大师（2015）

Master of None S01E03

Part 6 Sept. 6, 2020, 4:11 p.m.

- Uh... - She's trying to steal my jacket.
拿着我的饮料
Hold my drink.
不我没有啊
No, I'm not.
他从巴黎给我买♥♥的
He bought it for me. It's from Paris.
这是从该死的拓扑肖普(英国时尚品牌)买♥♥的它是我的
It's from fucking Topshop, and it's mine.
-还回来 -不
- Give it back. - No.
-还给我 -不
- Give it back. - No!
-嘿给她吧 -还回来
- Hey, come on. - Give it back!
-不 -噢靠
- No! - Oh, shit.
别打架了
Break it up!
女士们
Ladies!
好吧把她们带走
All right, take it out of here!
抢夺啊不行
Rape! No!
-Dev 帮帮我 -抱歉什么都不知道
- Dev, help. Help. - Sorry. I don't know.
告诉他们她疯了
Tell them she's being crazy!
-不我我不清楚 -告诉他们她是了疯
- No, I... I don't know... - Tell them she's being crazy.
听着...Dev 他妈的什么情况啊
Listen... Dev, what the fuck?
噢好吧不那是我们的歌♥
Oh, okay, no, that's our song!
我不认识你
I don't know you.
你得出去才能见她了朋友
You got to meet her outside, man.
好吧其实我该呆在这
Um, yeah, I actually might just kick it here.
也许是个好主意兄弟
Probably a good call, player.
Dev
Dev?
嘿
Hey!
-嘿 -Rachel
- Hey. - Rachel.
你怎么样了
How is everything?
你记得我名字
You remembered my name.
是啊我记得你名字
Ah, yeah, I remembered your name.
我是说我没再听到你的消息了
Well, I mean, I hadn't heard from you.
我也没听到你的消息
I hadn't heard from you either.
彼此彼此啦
That's a two-way street.
事实上我很高兴能碰到你
I'm actually really glad that I ran into you.
因为看来B计划药丸(口服避孕药)完全不中用
'Cause it turns out that that Plan B pill was a dud.
我怀了你的孩子应该是孩子们
And I had your kid... Kids, actually.
是双胞胎
It was twins.
嗯一个白人一个印度人
Yeah, one white, one Indian.
我还想有可能两个都是淡棕色肤色的呢
You know, I thought it would probably be two beige ones.
那很有意思
That's interesting.
你觉得演出如何
So what did you think of the show?
挺好的
Thought it was great.
你是怎么混进来的
How did you weasel in here?
我是来工作的
I'm here for work.
我为唱片公♥司♥做公♥关♥策划
I do PR for the label.
但这是一场秘密演出所以在公♥关♥方面比较轻松
But it was a secret show, so it was pretty easy on the PR front.
我想我搞砸了因为太多人来了
I guess I fucked up 'cause a lot of people showed up.
你呢今晚过得如何
What about you? How was your night?
我原本在约会现在已经完了
Um, I was on a date that is now over
因为她被扔出会场了
because she got thrown out of the venue.
啥天啊那太糟糕了
What? Oh, my God, that sucks.
噢不是的我开心死了
Uh, oh, no, I'm thrilled.
她简直是个噩梦啊
She was a nightmare.
真的吗发生什么事
Really? What happened?
刚开始她像一个好斗的Cartman
She began the night with an aggressive Cartman impression
最后被赶了出去
and then ended it by being kicked out
因为她偷了别人的夹克
for stealing someone's jacket.
啊好野蛮
Ugh, brutal.
但Cartman的确挺好玩的
But Cartman's really funny, though.
她一直都这么说
That's what she kept insisting.
其实我正要赶去余兴派对
I'm actually headed over to the after party.
在Achilles Heel举♥行♥的
It's at Achilles Heel.
如果你想来我可以跟
If you want to come, I can talk to the person
管理名单的负责人说一声
in charge of the list.
怎么样
Eh?
好啊那肯定很酷
Yeah, that'd be cool.
我要去见我的朋友Denise
Um, I got to meet my friend Denise,
但我或许晚些会过去
but I'll maybe stop by later.
好吧太好了
All right, cool.
好啦
All right.
跟双胞胎们问好啦
Well, tell them twins I said, "What's up?"
好啊他们正等着你的抚养费呢所以
Yeah, they are expecting child support, so...
噢告诉白皮肤那家伙他慢慢等了
Oh, well, tell the white one to keep waiting.
我只抚养像我那小家伙所以
I'm only supporting the one that looks like me, so...
-好吧拜拜 -拜
- All right, bye. - Bye.
就是那位用B计划时你给她买♥♥苹果汁的姑娘吗
Was this Plan B apple juice girl?
嗯
Mm-hmm.
她挺好的
Yeah, she was pretty cool.
她还邀请我待会儿去Achilles Heel的派对
She invited me to this thing at Achilles Heel later.
我或许会去看看你又什么情况
I might check it out. What's your story?
我和Michelle一起喝东西
I'm grabbing drinks with Michelle,
就是那个爱情小公主
AKA Princess Love.
Lil' Funyuns吗你说真的吗
Lil' Funyuns? Seriously?
是啊朋友听着她很可爱
Yeah, man. Look, she's cute.
而且我跟她上♥床♥了
Plus, I fuck with Funyuns.
我是说我更喜欢吃奇多饼干但管它呢
I mean, I'm more of a Cheetos girl, but whatever.
但你之前对她所做的都不为所动啊
You can't encourage that kind of behavior, though.
是啊但她给我多留了一条语♥音♥留言
Yeah, but she left me, like, one more voice mail,
然后我就说好吧
and I was just like, "A'ight."
还好啦好吧
Fair enough, all right.
让我看看Brian在干嘛
Let me see what Brian's up to.
他在Cabin
He's at the Cabin.
他说快来吧超好的派对
He says, "Come. Great party.
气氛 A- 妞儿们 A- 总体来 A-
Vibe, A-minus. Girls, A-minus. Overall, A-minus."
很高兴他能分三项去评分
Glad he broke it down into three categories.
那地方的周末演出简直烂透了
That place is such a shit show on weekends.
为啥你老想去那
Why do y'all always want to go there?
因为那是我认识新朋友的好场所
'Cause it's a good spot to meet new people.
你手♥机♥里存多几个蠢货的号♥码
More chickenheads to put in your phone
然后一直发些胡言乱语的短♥信♥吗
and text nonsense to forever.
为什么你不跟Rachel好呢
Why don't you go kick it with Rachel?
她看起来很好但我跟她也没那么熟
I mean, she seems cool, but I don't know her that well.
谁知道呢或许我会去那个派对
Who knows? Maybe I'll go to this party
然后遇到某个能改变我的一生的神人
and I'll meet someone magical that'll change my life.
可能Rachel就是那个人
Maybe Rachel's magical.
你不跟她相处怎么就知道不是她呢
How are you gonna know if you don't spend time with her?
人与人之间不是总能一见钟情的
Look, people aren't gonna always be magical right away.
或者他们之后会擦出火花
Maybe they'll become magical.
或者老死不相往来
Or they'll become garbage.
说到这我要去
Speaking of which, I got to go meet up
跟爱情小公主见面了就是 Lil' Funyuns
with Princess Love, AKA Lil' Funyuns.
好的我买♥♥单
All right. I'll grab these.
去吧 D皇后也叫Rich Homey Cheetos
Head on out, Queen D, AKA Rich Homey Cheetos.
朋友待会儿见
Later, man.
待会儿见
Later.
(BGM: The Jones Girls -You're Gonna Make Me Love Somebody Else)
嘿
Hey!
bing-bong(《头脑特工队》中女主想象出的朋友)
怎么样了
What's up, bing-bong?
你来了
You showed up.
是的
I did.
哇
Um, wow.
这儿有好多时尚人士啊
So many hip people here.
是吧挺酷的
Yeah, pretty cool.
所以你是在工作
Uh, so this is kind of more of a work thing
或者说你只是来找乐子的呢
or you still get to have fun?
都有吧
I mean, it's a little bit of both.
但我觉得这会挺有趣的
But I guess this is fun
因为我是这个乐队的铁杆粉丝
because I'm a really big fan of the band.
是啊他们很棒
Yeah, they were great.
我很久没来看演出了
You know, I haven't been to a show in a while.
老实说我上一场看的音乐会是The Silly Billies
The last concert I went to, actually, was The Silly Billies.
就是那个小孩乐队吗
The kids' bands?
是啊