老爸有招

Man with a Plan S04E02

Part 4 April 11, 2020, 11:42 a.m.

- Come on. - u202dPlease.
怎么
What?
你真是刷新下限
This is a new low.
爸爸去装起搏器怎么可能不告诉我
Dad would never get a pacemaker and not tell me.
他可是我最好的朋友
He's my best friend.
你不信我吗
You don't believe me?
我不知道该信什么了亚当
I don't know what to believe anymore, Adam.
太可悲了
This is so sad.
你才是我的英雄安迪
You're my new hero, Andi.
什么不要
What? No!
我说的百分百是真话
But this is a hundred percent true!
跟我来医院我能证明
Come to the hospital, I'll prove it.
准备道歉吧
Prepare to apologize.
对不起
I'm sorry.
爸
Dad.
你得跟安迪说实话
I need you to tell Andi the truth
咱们昨天晚上到底去哪了
about where we were tonight.
好
Okay.
我去了渔具店你不在
I went to the fishing store, you weren't there,
我觉得很受伤就回家了
so I felt betrayed and came home.
不是的
That's not true.
我知道真♥相♥ 妈爸爸和亚当在搞外遇
I know the truth. Mom, Dad and Adam are having an affair
对象是一个母女组合
with a mother-daughter team.
怎么回事
What's happening?
别问他编了一套故事
Don't ask. He's got a theory.
不我说得对
Oh, no. No, I'm right.
网上有好多迷你纪录片
There are tons of mini-documentaries about it
都是讲这个的
on the Internet.
安迪亲爱的你必须相信我
Andi, honey, you have to believe me.
但是没人相信你
But nobody believes you.
玛茜相信
Marcy does.
整个计划就是她想的
She masterminded the whole plan
为了瞒着你
to keep it a secret from you.
是吧玛茜
Right, Marcy?
什么我为什么要瞒着安迪
What? Why would I keep a secret from Andi?
因为影子政♥府♥
Because of the shadow government.
你是嗑药了吗
Are you on drugs?
太荒唐了我明明在说实话
This is crazy. I'm telling the truth,
结果没人信我
and nobody believes me. u202dHuh.
是不是感觉不太好
That doesn't feel great, does it?
你为什么要用一副
Why are you using your
"我即将给你讲道理"的语气
"I'm about to teach you a lesson" Voice?
因为我一直知道起搏器的事
Because I've known about the pacemaker all day.
-什么 -幸亏你现在没戴帽子
- What? u202d- Yeah. It's a good thing you're not wearing a hat,
因为你脑袋都被惊炸了
'cause your mind just got blown. u202d
-你一直知道 -嗯哼
- You knew? - Mm-hmm.
你先瞒着我然后再让我瞒你
u202dAnd you let me lie to you while you were lying to me?
这是我会做的事啊
That is something I would do!
等等真的吗爸爸
Wait. It's true? Daddy?
我不希望任何人知道
I didn't want anyone to know.
尤其是我老婆
Especially my bride.
-我不想让你担心 -亲爱的
- I didn't want you to worry. u202d- Oh... honey,
你这么为我考虑真是很贴心
it was so sweet of you to think of me.
你穿丝♥袜♥之后你男人就会这样对你好
This is how your man treats you when you wear pantyhose.
听见了吗老唐
You hear that, Don?
以后我要走你妈妈的穿衣风格了
I'm gonna start dressing like your mom.
祝你幸福
Enjoy.
我可以试试看
I can work with that.
等等等等
Uh, wait-- Hold on.
老唐和洛厄尔也知道吗
So, Don and Lowell were in on it, too?
知道
Yes.
-你不知道啊 -我不知道
- No, you weren't. - No, I was not.
我想让你意识到
I wanted you to know
你就是那个叫狼来了的小孩
that you are the boy that cried wolf, right?
所以我需要证人
And I needed witnesses.
如果那个小孩说狼来了
I mean, if the boy cries wolf
结果却没有村民看到他被吃掉
and there are no villagers there to see him get eaten,
那还有什么意义
what's the point?
你太会设局了
This is next-level.
我根本就是班门弄斧了吧
I wasn't even close to pulling this off, was I?
是的宝贝
No, honey.
所以我去你家的时候
So when I came over, you got me
-你是故意让我说漏嘴的 -对
- to accidentally blab something about Adam? - u202dYep.
而且你完全不需要老唐给你任何信息
And you didn't need any information from Don at all?
对我只是需要村民
Nope. I just needed villagers.
我不想只当村民
I don't like just being a villager.
明年我要试试当狼
Next year I'm trying out for wolf.
说了实话却没人相信
How do you feel about telling the truth
你是什么感觉
and not having people believe it?
不太好
Not great.
有点像尼德说的
Kind of like how Ned said Neil felt
尼尔当初被人误会假装登陆月球的感觉
when people thought he faked the Moon landing.
尼尔是谁
Who's Neil?
-尼德是谁 -他绝对嗑药了
- Who's Ned? - u202dHe is on drugs.
我就说你别再讲这个故事了
I told you not to tell that story.
好了最后一个
Okay, here's the last one.
我们不是终于一起看《绝命毒师》吗
You know how we're finally watching Breaking Bad together?
我三年前和老唐
u202dI watched it three years ago
一起在房♥车里看过了
with Don in the trailer.
当时我们一直干夜班
It was when we were working nights
奥班农那个活
on the O'Bannon job.
另外根本没有奥班农那个活
Also, there was no O'Bannon job.
还有一件事
Oh, hey, one more thing.
你的千层面确实不对劲
There's something wrong with your lasagna.
好了今晚听的谎言坦白够多了
Okay, I think we've covered enough lies for one night.
我有个问题
Uh, hey, I got a question:
你是怎么知道爸爸去装起搏器的
how did you find out about my dad's pacemaker?
贝芙告诉我的
Bev told me.
什么
What?
是乔要去装起搏器
So Joe's getting a pacemaker
根本没有渔具店吗
and there's no fishing store?
亚当居然骗我
Adam lied to me?
他当然会骗你他是你的老公
Of course he did, he's your husband.
我知道了
I see.
你介不介意我拿这个消息玩一玩
Hey... do you mind if I have a little fun with this?
你随意
Be my guest.
亲爱的
Oh, honey?
你可以把这个一起带走
You can take that thing with you.
你怎么知道的
How did you know?
我是你的紧急联络人
I'm your emergency contact.
我什么都知道
I know everything.
但我不希望你
But I didn't want you to worry
担心我会担心你
about me worrying about you,
所以我没打算告诉你
so I wasn't gonna tell you.
爸你和玛茜不是有影子政♥府♥吗
Dad, I thought you and Marcy had a shadow government.
别扯了
Aw, don't be ridiculous.
根本没什么影子政♥府♥
There's no shadow government.
没错这家归我和贝芙管
That's right. Bev and I run this family.
这家归贝芙管
Bev runs this family.