老爸有招

Man with a Plan S04E09

Part 3 July 7, 2020, 2:44 p.m.

We are walking.
快快快
Hustle. Hustle, hustle, hustle.
快快
Okay. Hustle, hustle.
好的好了
Okay. All right. Hey, hey.
跟她开诚布公谈一谈
Just have a real conversation with her.
你别期望太高
Okay, well, don't get your hopes up.
我们俩没试过
We don't have those.
信心十足嘛走吧
That's the spirit. Off you go.
爸
Dad?
我听说外公和外婆的事了
We heard about Nana and Pop-Pop.
他们还好吗
Is everything okay?
听着
Oh. Uh, listen,
我不希望你们
I don't want you guys to worry
为外公外婆分开而担心知道吗
because your grandparents split up, all right?
你们爸爸说得对
Yeah, your dad's right.
黄石公园有一座超级火山
There's a supervolcano under Yellowstone
这件事就是小巫见大巫
that's gonna make this the least of your problems.
你们回来了
There they are. Hi.
怎么样
How'd it go?
太美好了
Oh. It was so beautiful.
我就知道行得通
Oh, I thought this might work.
心理咨♥询♥好用但酒精来得更快
Therapy's great, but liquor's quicker.
这是我们第一次真正做自己
I mean, for the first time, we could just be ourselves.
从来没有这么开诚布公过
It's the most open we've ever been. u202dYeah.
我以前真是太封闭自己了
I think I was so closed off before
总想着要完美就拼命说服自己
because I had to be perfect to convince myself
我很幸福
that I was happy.
我不需要听细节
Oh, yeah, I don't need the details.
我只盼着结果如何点赞还是失败
I was just looking for thumbs up, thumbs down.
我再跟你说
Ooh. And guess what.
我们的优步司机跟我妈要手♥机♥号♥了
Our Uber driver asked my mom for her number.
对感觉他挺绅士吧
Yeah, but he seemed like a gentleman, right?
从来没忘记打转向灯
He always used his turn signal. Yeah.
真不错嘛
Well, good for you.
现在你们俩的问题解决了
Ah-- and now that things are resolved between you two,
你可以去开启新生活了
you can go start your new life.
哪里都比在这里强
And where better to do that than not here?
她哪里都不会去
She's not going anywhere.
我们才刚刚和好
Like, we've just started to bond.
要我说她可以永远住在这
As-as far as I'm concerned, she could stay here forever.
永远
Oh... u202dForever?
什么
What...?
她要走了怎么会永远在这
How can she stay forever if she's leaving?
根本说不通嘛
That doesn't make sense.
我女儿想一直陪着我我太开心了
I'm just happy that my daughter wants me around forever.
谢谢你让我们去聊天亚当
Thanks for making us talk, Adam.
这是你的功劳
You know, you did this.
你可以别往伤口上撒盐了
Aw, you don't have to rub it in.
我们得谈一谈
Listen, we need to talk about
你妈妈会跟我在一起住多久
how long your mom's gonna be staying with us,
因为答案肯定不能是永远
because the answer to that can't be "forever."
当然了宝贝
Sure, baby.
我们盖上被子再聊吧
Why don't you come chat about it under the covers?
不不不这是很严肃的事情
u202dNo, no, no-no-no-no, this is serious.
-你妈妈 -叽里
- Your mom is... u202d - Blah,
-呱啦衣服脱了 -什么不行等等
- blah, blah, take your shirt off. - u202dWhat? No, wait.
亲爱的我们有很重要的事要讨论
Honey, honey. We have important things to discuss.
可我感觉好棒啊
But I'm feeling so good.
我不是台机器
I am not a machine.
你不能按个开关就开了
Okay, you can't just turn me on.
我们明天再谈
Okay, we'll talk tomorrow. u202dOoh!
永远这是她的原话
Forever. That was the exact word she used.
你就让安迪请艾莉丝离开嘛
So, just get Andi to ask Alice to leave.
我试过了
I tried that.
可她用性♥爱♥将我魅惑
But she bewitched me with sex.
妻子的手段
Wives will do that.
所以我现在没有雪地摩托
That's why I don't have a snowmobile.
也没有话语权
Or a say in anything.
我不知道该怎么办了
I don't know what to do.
我的妻子很开心可我却和丈母娘同在一屋檐
My wife is happy, but I'm living with my mother-in-law.
真疯狂我让孤单的优步司机围着我家转圈
It's crazy. I got lonely Uber drivers circling my house
就像去机场一样
like it's the airport.
问题就是谁的快乐更加重要
So, the question is, whose happiness is more important,
你的还是安迪的
yours or Andi's?
你为什么这么问你装窃听器了吗
Why did you ask it like that? Are you wearing a wire?
我有办法了
I got the solution to this.
办法里有超级火山吗
Does it involve a supervolcano?
没有让我再想一分钟
No. But now I need a minute.
妈这一周真是太欢乐了
You know, Mom, this week has been so fun.
我们相处得那么融洽
You know, we're so comfortable around each other now,
甚至可以一起买♥♥文胸
we can shop for bras.
之前我都不敢在你面前
I mean, before this, I don't even think
说起文胸这个词
I could say "bra" to you.
你喜欢这件吗
Hey, do you like this one?
解法比较复杂
Uh... that's too complicated to unhook.
我要约会的对象到了有关节炎的年纪了
I'm gonna be dating men in the early stages of arthritis,
我希望别给他们出难题
I want to make it easy on them.
你还是自己挑吧
Oh. Wow, uh, maybe you should pick your own bra.
这是朋友之间会做的事
This is what friends do.
我跟你说
Oh, and I have to tell you,
我可太享受性♥爱♥自♥由♥了
I am loving this sexual freedom.
你♥爸♥那人希望老婆穿这种文胸
See, now, your dad, he wanted his wife to be this bra.
可我想穿这种文胸
But I wanted to be this bra.
我说来吗弗兰克试试新花样
I mean, you know, come on, let's try some stuff, Frank.
偶尔也薅我的头发嘛
Pull my hair once in a while.
好的
Okay.
为了我妻子的快乐
So, for my wife's happiness,
我就只能接受
I am just going to accept the fact
和丈母娘一起住的现实
that my mother-in-law lives with us.
我会成为更好的人成为那种人
I'm gonna be a better person. I'm gonna be that guy.
那种人住在车♥库♥里
That guy sleeps in the garage.
最终和车一起消失
Eventually with the car running.
老唐描绘的画面很凄凉
Don does paint a bleak picture.
但是
But...
没有但是我就是觉得他描述得活灵活现
But nothing, I just thought he did a nice job describing it.
我妈必须走
My mom's got to go.
谢天谢地我本来想当个更好的人
Oh, thank God. I was trying to be a better person,
可感觉不像我了
but it just doesn't feel like me.
你怎么改主意了
What changed your mind?
我和老妈直接开诚布公一点确实不错
Well, like, I'm glad that my mom and I are more open.
但现在开过了
But now it's too open.
如果她走了我们可以把节奏放慢点
I-I-If she leaves, maybe we can just slow this whole thing down.
如果她走了我喜欢这个节奏
"If she leaves." I like where you're going with this.
我能帮上什么忙
What do you need from me?
帮我摆脱她
Help me get rid of her.
但别让她感到我们想摆脱她
But without making her feel like we're getting rid of her.
好的
Okay. All right.
为达目的不折手段
Using underhanded means to get what I want.
这才像我的作风
Now this feels like me.
好的妈妈应你的要求我给你做了杯骚提尼
Okay, Mom. Per your request, I made you a flirtini.
庆祝你的性觉醒之类的吧
So, here's to your sexual awakening, I guess.
谢谢亲爱的你真是太提神了
Thanks, honey. That's very woke of you.
我也会网上冲浪唷
I've been on the Internet.
谢谢你能来你准备好了吗
Thanks for coming. You ready to do this?
简单交给我的卡其裤了
It'll be easy. I'll let the khakis do the talking.
乔啊
Oh. Hi, Joe.
你在这啊
Ah, there she is.
柔柔春风夜
The soft spring night can only be
美人多增色
enhanced by a beautiful woman.
艾莉丝我们跳舞吧
Alice, let's dance.
那晚的拉链拉出了我对你的思念