老爸有招

Man with a Plan S04E04

Part 3 July 7, 2020, 2:44 p.m.

But you're not saying it like it's a compliment.
妈我们可以聊聊麦迪森的事吗
Mom, do you have time to talk about Madison?
当然了亲爱的
Of course, honey.
我去做点奶昔我们喝
I'll make us a milkshake.
一个杯子两根吸管
One glass, two straws.
要是你重新站回爸爸队这边
If you want to come back to Team Dad,
我给你出几个好主意
I got some ideas to figure this out.
让你和麦迪森一起进电梯
We get you and Madison in an elevator.
然后我把电掐了
I cut the power. Oh.
或者你们去坐摩天轮
Or a Ferris wheel, huh?
我把电掐了
I cut the power.
不用了
I'm good.
行吧
Fine.
要不是当初我把电掐了都没有你小子
Wouldn't even be here if I hadn't cut the power.
难得你和泰迪
I see you and Teddy have managed
终于舍得分开几分钟了
to pry yourselves apart for a few minutes.
他去练足球了
He's at soccer practice.
你们两个昨晚在他房♥间里聊得够晚的
You two were talking for a long time in his room last night.
房♥间里有女生还关门
Girl in room, door closed--
这不是违反你自己的规定吗
I thought that was against your rules.
没错但自从我发现
Yeah, but I just assumed
我们之间的感情是建立在一只被下药的鸟身上后
that rules went out the window after I found out
那些规矩还是算了吧
that our relationship was based on a drugged bird.
我是泰迪的老爸
I'm Teddy's dad.
这些东西应该是我来教
I should be teaching him this stuff.
这是我唯一的机会
This is my only chance.
我们有两个女儿一个儿子
We have two girls and one boy.
你能教两次
You get to do it twice.
好吧其中一个女儿归你教
Fine. You can have one of the girls.
我不想教女生我就想教泰迪
I don't want the girls! I want Teddy!
我先教他的结果被你抢了
I had him first. Then you stole him!
我没有抢
I didn't steal him.
是他选择了我因为我的建议有效
He chose me, because I have advice that actually works.
听听你有什么好建议
Let's hear your wonderful advice.
好他说跟麦迪森讲话紧张
Okay. Well, he said he gets nervous talking to Madison,
我让他把自己对麦迪森的感情
so I told him to send her a text
写成信息发给她
explaining how he feels about her.
开诚布公的
Open and honest.
这才是姑娘想要的
That's what girls want.
好吧
Uh-huh. Okay. Uh-huh.
你好
Hello.
你好啊
Oh, hi.
是麦迪森的妈妈
It's Madison's mom.
也许她是打电♥话♥感谢我的
She's probably calling to thank me.
我们应该一起享受这个时刻什么事啊凯西
We should enjoy this together. What's up, Kathy?
你儿子给我女儿发了一堆奇奇怪怪的信息
Your son is sending my daughter weird text messages.
如果他再发
If it doesn't stop,
我就要把这件事举报到校方
I'm getting the school involved.
好吧再见你已经挂断了
Right. Well, bye-- Oh. You already hung up.
我的天举报给校方
Oh, my God. Getting the school involved?!
好吧他的手♥机♥在哪
All right. Uh, where's his phone?
书包里
Uh... backpack.
天啊做好心理准备
Uh... Oh, boy. Brace yourself.
"我把你的脸画在苹果上然后把苹果吃掉"
"I drew your face on an apple, and then I ate it."
你有没有
Did you...?
这种话不能说啊
You can't say that.
听这条
Listen to this one.
我在IG和推特上关注了你
"I follow you on Instagram, Twitter,
也在你回家的路上偷偷关注你
and secretly, on your way home."
这太吓人了
Uh... this is bad.
好吧
Okay. Okay. Okay.
这样
Um... uh, all right.
等以后凯特和艾米嫁人泰迪就跟着我们住
Katie and Emme get married, and Teddy lives with us
这辈子就这样了
the rest of his life.
也没有那么糟糕
Yeah. Yeah, that's not so bad.
就像有了单身老管家
It'll be like having a lonely butler.
我好替他难过啊
I feel terrible for him.
我们必须得做点什么
We have to do something.
做什么都挽回不了把苹果上她的脸吃掉
There is no coming back from eating her face on an apple.
知道我们需要什么吗
You know what we need?
-威士忌 -不是
- Whiskey. u202d- No, no, no, no.
我们需要亚当·伯恩斯的魔法
We need some Adam Burns magic. u202dOh.
你的假魔法你的骗局
Your fake magic, your trickery.
你不是讨厌那些吗
I thought you hated that stuff.
是但我们得帮泰迪一把
Yeah, but we have to help Teddy,
而且它有效不是吗我就吃那套
and-and it works, right? It worked on me.
你把一个你配不上的好女人
I mean, you schemed your way into getting a woman
就这么骗到手了
you in no way deserved.
我是挺厉害的是不是
I am good, aren't I? u202dMm-hmm.
花钱雇服务员那件事你不生气了吧
So you're not mad at me for paying that waitress anymore?
我选择相信
I'm choosing to believe
当她在说"你们真是太般配了天造地设"
that when she said we were the cutest couple
的时候是真正的魔法
and perfect for each other, that there was magic.
这个魔法让你
The magic of getting you,
这个小气鬼舍得花十美金
a known cheapskate, to part with ten dollars.
因为她不找钱
Yeah, she wouldn't make change.
好吧那
All right, so...
你有什么主意吗
So what are you thinking?
可以把我们的超能力合并在一起
Uh, well, we combine our superpowers, right?
我的诚实和你的人造魔法
My honesty and your man-made magic.
如果我们合作就能挽救这件事
Right? If we work together, we can save the day.
我喜欢
I like it.
《复仇者联盟》就是这么来的吧
I think this is how the Avengers started.
对
Yes.
我们之所以会来
Look, we came here
是想诚心实意跟你们解释一下
because we want to be completely honest.
麦迪森你和泰迪本来相处得很好
Madison, you and Teddy were doing great,
结果我们一搅合一切就都毁了
but then we got involved and ruined everything.
我们才是问题所在真是非常抱歉
Yeah, we were the problem, and we're, and we're so sorry.
你喜欢泰迪吧
Do you like Teddy?
以前喜欢直到有人告诉我看到泰迪把我车胎放气了
I did until people told me he let the air out of my bike tire.
因为我是我让他那么做的
That was me. I told him to do that.
是我让他给你发
And I'm the one who told him
那些过于诚实的信息
to send you super-honest text messages about his feelings.
你们真是太糟糕了
You guys are the worst.
没错谢谢你凯西
Yes. Thank you, Kathy.
我们就是这个意思是我们太糟糕了
That's what we're saying. We're the worst.
不是泰迪
But Teddy's not.
天啊
Oh, my God.
不敢相信你们真的来了
I can't believe you two actually came here.
别再打扰这些可怜人了
Leave these poor people alone.
我们只是想弥补一下过错
We're just trying to fix what we screwed up.
交给我了
I'll handle this.
麦迪森你认识我吧
Hey, Madison, you know me, right?
学校里没有不认识你的
Everyone at school knows you.
你就是传说我听说你办了一个派对
You're a legend. I heard you had a party...
我们不需要在这聊这个
Uh, we don't need to talk about that.
听着
Uh, listen.
我在家看过你和泰迪在一起
I saw you and Teddy at our house,
那真是我怕忘已经写下来了
and I was like-- and I wrote this down so I'd remember it--
我的天啊
"Oh, my God.
你们真是太般配了
"You two are the cutest couple.
天造地设
You're perfect for each other."
-真的吗 -绝对的
- Really? u202d- Totally.
你要是喜欢泰迪
And if you like Teddy,
应该跟他一起去杰里米的轮滑派对
I think you should go to the skate party with him.
会很好玩的
It'll be fun.
好的我愿意跟他一起去
All right, I want to go with him.
妈妈
Mom?
好吧但接送都由我负责
Fine, but I'm driving both ways.
太好了