老爸有招

Man with a Plan S04E06

Part 1 July 7, 2020, 2:44 p.m.

让生命能量流动全身
Let the life force flow through your...
你干嘛呢
What you doing?
我就说他在做些奇怪的事
I told you he'd be doing something weird.
对唐尼呢
Yeah. Where's Donny?
亚当有大事要宣布
Adam's got big news.
他又去参加夫妻情感咨♥询♥了
Oh, he left for couples therapy again.
还有谢谢你们扶我起来
Thanks for helping me up, by the way.
有什么大事要宣布
So, what's the big news?
洛厄尔我买♥♥了艘船
Lowell, I bought a boat.
我们本来要去木材厂结果有几个人在停车场
We were leaving the lumber yard, and some guy was selling
低♥价♥出♥售♥他们的钓船
his bass boat real cheap in the parking lot,
所以我就买♥♥了
so I went for it.
就是这艘
There she is.
这是我的船
That's my boat.
你怎么说服安迪同意你买♥♥船的
How'd you get Andi to finally let you buy one?
我用了一个新招
Oh, I used a new strategy.
我没告诉她
I didn't tell her.
你这种人居然有老婆
And you're still married.
真是奇了怪了
It's a mystery.
这是唯一可行的方式
This is the only way it can work.
知道吗我以前跟安迪说过想买♥♥船
All right, I've brought up buying a boat in the past,
一下就被她否决了
and Andi always shot me down.
妻子我们深爱的另一半
Wives, our beloved life partners...
用火焰喷射器将我们的梦想烧焦
who take a flame thrower to our dreams.
我之前的问题在于它一直是艘假设中的船
My problem was it was always a hypothetical boat,
我是没办法把它推过终点线的
so I could never push it across the finish line.
现在我已经买♥♥了船
Now that I've bought a boat,
我就能在恐惧中想办法了
I'm working from a place of fear.
恐惧令我机智
You see, fear sharpens you.
比如你只能跑这么快
Like, you can only run so fast.
但如果你屁♥股♥后头有狮子追你呢
But when a lion's chasing you,
你就能跑得更快一点
you can run a little faster.
再快也快不过狮子
Not faster than a lion.
船在周二才会运到
The boat's getting delivered Tuesday.
我还有一周时间争取安迪的同意
So I have a week to figure out how to get a yes from Andi.
你要让安迪认为买♥♥船是她的主意
You need to make Andi think it's her idea.
妻子喜欢自己的主意
Wives always love their own ideas.
还真是的馊主意也喜欢
That's true, even if they're not good ones.
比如装饰抱枕
Like throw pillows.
又没人用它睡觉买♥♥那么多枕头干嘛
Who needs a hundred pillows nobody sleeps on?
我们家到处都是枕头
Our houses are full of damn pillows.
好的所以我只需要
All right, so all I have to do
让安迪提出买♥♥艘船
is get Andi to suggest a boat.
我顺势同意
Then I just agree.
这样下周我们就可以晕船晒伤
By next week we'll be seasick, sunburned
在湖面尿尿遵从上帝的旨意
and peeing in a lake, like God intended.
就像曾经我租船
It'll be like the old days
带你出去钓鱼的日子一样爽
when I used to rent a boat to take you fishing.
对但更妙的是船是我们的
Yeah, but better, because we'll own it.
没错一艘船就像一个女人
Yeah. A boat is like a woman.
按小时收费的感觉总是怪怪的
It doesn't feel right to pay for it by the hour.
听着儿子
All right, boy.
表现出一副非常需要船的样子
Look like a guy who really needs a boat.
我心里有数
I know what I'm doing.
会把她引进圈套的
I'm gonna walk her right into it.
哎呀这一天啊
Boy... what a day, oh.
亲爱的怎么了
Aw, honey, what's wrong?
你没事吧
Are you okay?
你知道我怎么了
You know what I am?
压力大啊
Stressed!
这是我怎么了
That's what I am.
这样可不好
Well, I don't like that.
我能为你做点什么呢
Is there anything I can do?
也许
Well... maybe...
也许你可以帮我放松放松
maybe it would help me to relax
我很喜欢跟水有关的东西
if I did something, uh, water-related.
妻子有个特殊功用
You know, there are certain things a wife can do
能帮男人放松压力
to relieve her husband's stress.
我知道那个功能谢了贝芙
Yeah, I know the things, Bev, thanks.
如果你喜欢水
Uh, hey, if you like the water,
可以去湖边散散步
maybe you should take a walk around the lake.
不是这个功能
That's not one of the things.
不过你可以在水里做我说的功能
Although, you can do mine in a lake.
很接近了
That's close.
我喜欢你这个跟湖有关的思路
Yeah, I like where you're headed with this lake thing.
知道谁最放松吗
You know who's relaxed?
鸭子们
Ducks.
什么
What?
没错鸭子们
Oh, that's right, ducks.
绝对跟它们在湖里有关
You know, I bet it's because they're on the lake.
这才是关键
That's the key.
那你要怎么才能过上鸭子般的生活呢
So how do you get a duck's life?
可我还是个人类
But I like being a person.
你们这是喝了多少
How much have you guys had to drink?
抱歉我们迟到了
Sorry we're late.
刚刚像小年轻一样在车里亲热了一番
We were making out in the car like teenagers.
是本来可以再进一步的
That's right, we would've gone all the way,
可车外面总有在遛狗
but there's a lot of looky-loos out there
走来走去的围观群众
walking their dogs. u202dMm-hmm.
看到她是怎么用身体帮老公舒缓压力的吗
See how she used her body to relax him?
这才是我说的功能
That's what I was talking about.
老天爷啊
Oh, my God!
我们在找方法帮我释放压力
We were just looking for ways to help me deal with stress.
你懂吧钓钓灵感
You know, fishing around.
大家都在同一条船上想办法
It's all hands on deck over here.
要不你们也试试夫妻情感咨♥询♥
Maybe you should try couples therapy,
效果超好
It's great.
不我说的不是这个
No, that's not what I'm talking about.
安迪我说的不是这个
Andi, that's not what I'm talking about.
让老唐改变特别大
Well, it really changed Don.
是都变成比吉斯乐队成员了
Yeah, it turned him into a Bee Gee.
这种真丝衬衫
I thought Marcy
我以为玛茜不会允许你穿的
wouldn't let you wear that silk shirt.
这才是真正的我
This is the real me.
查克医生说玛茜控制我的穿着
Dr. Chuck says that Marcy was wrong
是不对的
to control my fashion choices.
他是我们的咨♥询♥师他让我意识到
He's our therapist, and he made me realize
当老唐穿这种衬衫我说他像
that when Don wears this shirt it's not supportive
一个拉皮条的盲流会打击到他
for me to say that he looks like an unemployed pimp.
玛茜我觉得这样特别好
Well, Marcy, I think it is so healthy
你和你这个滑冰场DJ丈夫齐心协力
that you're working on your relationship with your husband...
提升夫妻感情
the roller rink DJ.
这是查克医生的名片
Here's Dr. Chuck's card.
你们俩应该试试
You guys should give it a whirl.
她说得也许没错
Maybe she's right.
你压力这么大也许是因为
I mean, you might be stressed out
你的内心封住了一些事
because there's something bottled up inside you.
就像瓶中船一样
Like a ship in a bottle!
别别别
No. No, no, no, no.
心理咨♥询♥不适合我这种人
Therapy is not for guys like me.
我觉得都是毫无意义的
All right, it's just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo
胡言乱语
that doesn't do anything.
黑帮教父托尼·索波诺就做心理咨♥询♥
Tony Soprano did therapy.
也没拦得住他杀人
And yet the murdering continued.
有件事也许可以帮我放松
You know what might help me relax?
唱歌♥
Singing. Yeah.
让我们荡起双桨
♪ Row, row, row your... ♪
推开波浪安迪
Take it home, Andi.
老爸有招第四季第六集
毫无进展
Well, that went nowhere.
安迪的想法跟船都不沾边