老爸有招

Man with a Plan S04E07

Part 2 July 7, 2020, 2:44 p.m.

在《女作家和谋杀案》里
That's what they would call the episode
他们应该会叫这个名字
if it was Murder, She Wrote.
那节目不错
Great show.
我特别喜欢年轻火♥辣♥的警探
I love a foxy, young detective.
妈
Hey. u202dMom?
你怎么来了你不是刚把我送来吗
What are you doing here? You just dropped me off.
别把我当成你妈就把我当成一个普通顾客
Don't think of me as Mom, just think of me as a random customer
我是来给你拍照的准备发到Facebook上
who's here to take pictures of you she can post on Facebook.
我想到了你假装对着耳机说点什么
Ooh, pretend like you're saying something into your headset.
安保青少年配饰区有个疯妈妈
Security, we've got a crazy mom in junior accessories.
女士有什么想找的东西吗
Ma'am, can I help you find something?
比如一家更适合你这个年龄的店
Like a store that's more age-appropriate?
你说什么
Excuse me?
妈这是我老板凯伦
Mom, this is my boss Karen.
这样啊那不用了
Well, then, no, thank you.
已经有一位最优秀的销♥售♥在帮助我了
I am already being helped by the best salesperson ever.
她说我的年龄很适合这家店
Who said I'm the perfect age for this store.
你这个工作如何
So, how's your shift going?
你肯定不会相信发生了什么
Oh, you are not gonna believe what happened.
凯伦跟我说如果我继续努力
Karen told me if I keep up the good work,
也许一年内就可以当副店长
I could be assistant manager in a year.
好吧可是一年内
Oh. Okay, but i-in a year,
你就得准备上大学了
you're gonna be getting ready to go to college.
是吗
Or will I?
你看正常人上大学是为了找工作
See, normally people go to college to get a job,
但我已经有了工作就不需要大学了
but I already have one, so I don't need college.
还有一点下周的高考我也不用参加了
Oh, bonus-- I won't have to take the SATs next week.
看来我周六可以睡个懒觉了
Looks like someone gets to sleep in on Saturday.
可是那你的将来怎么办
But, but, but, but, but wh-what about your future?
什么这个工作肯定没办法负担...
Huh? I mean, this job isn't gonna pay you enough to...
假如你要买♥♥♥房♥♥ 对不对
I don't know, buy a house, huh?
将来你的孩子要怎么养
I mean, where are you gonna raise your kids?
放轻松我都计划好了
Relax, I have a plan.
你把本来准备供我上大学的钱给我
You give me the money you were gonna give me to go to college.
我会用来买♥♥♥房♥♥子
I'll use that to buy a house.
你看我没上大学就拥有了大学级别的头脑
That's college-level thinking without college-level work.
仔细想想要不你别要孩子了
On second thought, maybe you don't want kids.
孩子让人压力山大
They're too stressful.
看来不是我爸
Okay, so it's not my dad.
你在上面找到其他东西了吗
Did you see anything else up there?
我找到一根很可疑的白头发
I found a gray hair that seemed promising,
但后来我想起来了
but then I remembered.
想起来什么了
Remembered what?
就是...
Well, you know...
我只知道最雄伟的山峰
What I know is, the most majestic mountains
山顶都有白雪
are covered in snow.
还有这帽子完全没帮到我
And that this thing did me no good.
-你看 -别吃全是细菌
- Look at this. - Don't eat that. It's covered in germs.
不这是快乐汉堡的包装纸
No, this is from Happy Burger.
老唐最喜欢的
Don's favorite place.
出现在我的船旁边的垃圾桶里
In my trash, next to my boat.
破案了我们抓到凶手了
Case closed-- we got him.
老唐我找到你了
Don, there you are.
你看我在我船旁边的垃圾桶里找到了什么
Look what I found in the trash next to my boat.
快乐汉堡包装纸
A Happy Burger wrapper!
看来你知道了
So you know.
我全都知道了
I know everything.
好吧我承认
Fine, I admit it.
有时候下午的时候我会溜出去
Sometimes in the afternoon, I leave work
在你床上睡一觉
and take a nap in your bed.
什么
You what?
通常在路上我会买♥♥个汉堡
And usually on the way, I pick up a burger.
特别好吃吃完我就犯困
They're delicious and they make me sleepy.
我是说你昨天晚上偷我船的事
I'm talking about you snuck my boat out last night.
我才没有
I would never do that.
我不偷船
I'm not a boat stealer.
我顶多偷偷睡觉
I'm a sneaky sleeper.
其他的事情可不能栽赃给我
That's the worst you can pin on me.
放弃吧老唐我知道是你偷的
Give it up, Don. I know you took it.
我没有
I didn't do it.
你要是不信我你去问老爸
If you don't believe me, ask Dad.
为什么问老爸
What does Dad know about it?
昨天晚上我们一起看功夫电影了
We were up late last night watching kung fu movies together.
好了我要一下
Well... Now, if you'll excuse me,
跟你们说这么多搞得我都困了
this conversation has made me very sleepy.
你知道去哪里找我
You know where to find me.
你♥爸♥是他的不在场证明
So, your dad's his alibi.
当然如此他们永远都在一起
Well, of course he is. They're always together.
等等
Wait a minute.
会不会是他们一起偷了你的船
Do you think they took your boat together?
这样确实说得通
That would make sense.
我爸不想费力气但是老唐可以
Yeah, Dad doesn't want to do the work, but Don will.
老唐不知道怎么操作但我爸可以教他
And Don doesn't know how to do the work, but Dad can tell him.
他们加一起就是两个吃汉堡看功夫电影的
Together they make one boat-stealing, burger-eating,
偷船罪犯二人组
kung-fu-watching criminal!
我们终于破案了
So, we finally cracked the case.
他们是同伙
They were in on it together.
怪不得
It figures--
这又是一件他们背着我♥干♥的事情
you know, this is just another thing they're doing without me.
所以才会有两顶帽子
And that's why there's two hats.
一顶是我爸的一顶给他最爱的儿子
One for Dad and one for his favorite son.
说句实话洛厄尔我很难受
Boy, I got to tell you, Lowell, this really hurts.
我们可以买♥♥一样的帽子安慰一下你
We could get matching hats if that would make you feel better.
也许我会感觉更糟
It might make me feel worse.
但你可以先买♥♥着到时候再说
Buy 'em anyway, though. We'll see.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
我要从家庭照片里把我爸和老唐剪掉
I'm cutting my dad and Don out of family photos.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
这张是老唐婚礼的照片
Well, that's from Don's wedding.
现在看起来好像你娶了玛茜
So, now it just looks like you married Marcy.
她想得美
She wishes.
我爸和老唐又发现了
My dad and Don have found
一个更加伤人孤立我的办法
a new and even more hurtful way of excluding me.
昨晚就是他们偷走了我的船
They're the ones that took my boat out last night.
还不带我
Without me.
我的船还不带我
My boat, no me.
亲爱的他们太过分了
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
是啊我真是受不了他们总凑一起
Yeah-- no, I'm just sick of their fun little club for two.
我感觉很蠢我也不想参与进去
It's so-- it's stupid, and I don't even want to be in it,
但我又很想参与进去
but I want to be in it so bad.
我知道现在时机不合适但我也有坏消息
Well, I know this isn't a great time, but I have more bad news.
凯特不想上大学
Kate doesn't want to go to college.
什么怎么突然会这样
What? G-- Where did that come from?
她现在不是有工作了吗她就说不需要大学
Well, she has a job now, so she says she doesn't need college.
这个决定完全没跟我商量
She made the whole decision without me.
我给了她自信结果被她倒打一耙
I gave her confidence and then she uses it against me.
家人就是这样
That's what family does.
总伤害我们安迪
They hurt us, Andi.
要我说你不该默默承受
You know what? You shouldn't stand for it.
你是个好儿子也是个好弟弟他们不能这样
You're a great son and a great brother, and you deserve better.
你也是个好妈妈她不该这样
Well, you're a great mom and you deserve better.
等等我们为什么要逆来顺受
Wait a minute, why are we taking this lying down?
是啊
Yeah.
我们是什么门垫吗
What are we, doormats?
不我们不是门垫我们是...
No. We are not doormats. We are...
门垫的反义词是什么
What's the opposite of doormats?
-门吗 -没错我们是门
- Doors? - That's right. We're doors.
对而且我们很结实
Yeah. And we're sturdy.
要是想去什么地方必须先通过我们
And if you want to get anywhere, you got to come through us.
对而且得小心点
Yeah, but be careful,