老爸有招

Man with a Plan S04E10

Part 3 July 7, 2020, 2:45 p.m.

她在帮他
She's helping him.
为什么我忽然有点害怕
Why do I feel so scared right now?
因为这里是侏罗纪公园
Because this is Jurassic Park,
而我们刚发现它们还会群体合作
and we just found out they learned how to work in packs.
泰迪和凯特成了共犯
So Teddy and Kate formed a criminal conspiracy.
不过他们一起玩还挺好的
It is nice they're spending time together, though.
清醒点安迪
Snap out it, Andi.
-我要阻止他们 -等等站住
- I'm gonna put an end to this. - Wait-wait-wait, stop.
为什么我火力十足
Why? I'm all fired up!
好吧要是你进去吼他们会怎样
Okay. What happens if you go up there and yell at 'em?
我会感觉好点然后去看电视
I feel better. And then I watch TV.
但是泰迪还是不会写作业
Yeah, but that won't get Teddy to do his homework
而凯特也还会继续帮她
and it won't stop Kate from helping him.
我们唯一的优势就是他们不知道我们知情
Look, our only advantage is that they don't know we know,
我们必须利用这一点夺回主动权
and we have to use that to take back control.
我想要主动权
I want control.
要是孩子不听话还要孩子干什么
Why did I have kids if I can't tell 'em what to do?
是啊
Yeah.
一切的基础都是第一个问题
Everything flows from problem No.1:
如何让泰迪乖乖写作业
how do we get Teddy to do his homework?
爸你来了
Hey, Dad.
"爸你来了"
"Hey, Dad"?
你的停车道上为什么有一堆砖块
Why'd you leave a stack of bricks in your driveway?
你是想让所有邻居都知道你放弃了吗
Are you trying to tell the whole neighborhood you've given up?
我是想教泰迪一个道理
I... I was teaching Teddy a lesson.
他学到的唯一道理就是他爸放弃了
The only lesson he learned is, his father gives up.
-你听到了吗 -听到了
- Did you hear that? - I certainly did.
我爸肯定能把泰迪骂醒
My dad can get Teddy into shape.
就像我当时成绩不好时他骂我那样
Just like he did with me when I got bad grades.
他当时学习特别差
He was a terrible student.
他唯一愿望就是坐在老师大腿上
All he wanted to do was sit in his teacher's lap.
当时他都13了
He was 13.
对那时候的鸡肉里没有加雌激素
Yep. There was no estrogen in the chicken back then.
我中学时就长开了
I was a full man in middle school.
我爸听说之后
When Dad heard about that,
让我拿一个小冰淇淋杯给整个草坪浇水
he made me water the whole front yard with a tiny Dixie cup.
没错那是最缓慢最痛苦的浇水方式
Yeah, it's the slowest, most painful way to water a lawn,
但是看着很爽
but delightful to watch.
乔泰迪也出了作业问题
Joe, we-we've got homework problems with Teddy.
你能不能带他去你家管管他
Can you take him to your place and fix him up?
-当然 -很好到时候凯特就不在了
0 Sure. - u202dThat's good, yeah. He'll be separated from Katie.
她是整个行动的司令部
She's the brains of the operation.
看来老硬汉又有活干了
Sounds like a job for Old Tough Nuts.
以前我惹麻烦的时候他总这么自称
That's what he used to call himself when I was in trouble.
而我经常惹麻烦
And I was in trouble a lot.
我五年级就留了胡子
I had a full mustache in fifth grade.
看起来像索尼·博诺一样
He looked like Sonny Bono.
由于我们无法劝你写作业
Since we can't get you to do your homework,
我们打算把你交给爷爷
we're turning you over to your grandfather.
我们对此也表示遗憾
We're sorry it's come to this.
没关系我很喜欢爷爷
That's okay. I like Grandpa.
我们的关系变了
Our relationship has changed.
我只能用这个浇水不然就得写作业吗
So, I have to water the lawn with this, or do my homework?
没有写作业这个选项这就是你的生活
No, homework's out. This is just your life now.
我能跟奶奶聊聊吗
Can I talk to Grandma?
我给了她一整杯硬币送她去大西洋赌城了
I sent her to Atlantic City with a coffee can full of quarters.
现在没有人能救你了
No one can save you now.
好了
All right.
草坪浇完水了
The lawn is watered.
我的纸杯呢
Where's my Dixie cup?
烂了我浇了几个小时
It fell apart. I was out there for hours.
那是我最喜欢的杯子
That was my favorite cup!
好吧你可以出点力来赎罪
All right, you can pay me back with some elbow grease.
看到那些鞋了吗
You see those shoes?
全部都抛光到让我能看到自己的脸
Make 'em shiny so I can see my beautiful face.
吃晚餐了杂工
Dinnertime, grunt.
一个虾罐头
A can of shrimp?
如果能打开你就可以吃
If you can open it, you can eat it.
终于洗完碗了
Finally done with the dishes.
能看电视了吗
Can we watch TV now?
该睡觉了
Bedtime.
可现在才六点半
But it's only 6:30.
你需要睡觉
You're gonna need that sleep.
明天你得在后院挖个坑
Tomorrow you're digging holes in the backyard.
干什么
For what?
放你这些多余的问题
To have a place to put all your questions.
起床了小兵
Rise and shine, cadet.
现在是凌晨四点
It's 4:00 in the morning.
我让你多睡了会因为我心软
I let you sleep in because I'm a softy.
早上好
Morning, fellas.
他让你数牙签呢对吗
Oh. He's got you counting toothpicks, huh?
本来应该是一千根
There's supposed to be a thousand,
但是爷爷说他们每次都少给一些
but Grandpa says they always short him a couple.
对我当时约校医一起去参加八年级舞会
u202dYeah. He made me do that after I asked the school nurse
他也这么惩罚我了
to the eighth grade formal.
好了你盯紧他
All right. Keep an eye on him.
我出去拿点铁丝网
I'm going out back to string some barbed wire
来做障碍跑训练
for the obstacle course.
如果能跑过关就有开罐器
If he makes it through, he earns a can opener.
你得带我走我什么都愿意干
You've got to get me out of here. I'll do anything.
作业也愿意吗
Even your homework?
我保证
I promise.
说不好呢
Mmm, I don't know.
要不你还是试试障碍跑吧
Maybe you should still try the obstacle course.
爷爷去其他城市才买♥♥到铁丝网的
Grandpa went all the way across town to get that barbed wire.
不我永远都好好写作业
No. I'll do all my homework forever.
我发誓
I swear.
好吧那说好了
Okay. Deal.
等你以后坐在舒适的办公室
You will thank me for this when you're sitting
吃着免费的马芬蛋糕时会感谢我的
in your cushy office, eating free muffins.
好能不能趁他没回来先走
I know. Can we please leave before he comes back?
好
Sure.
这下我们都从老硬汉夏令营毕业了
Now we're both graduates of Camp Tough Nuts.
-他有没有给你一个虾罐头却没法打开 -对
- Did he give you a can of shrimp and no way to open it? - Yep.
他从七十年代起就这么玩
Ugh, he's been doing that since the '70s.
说不定还是同一个虾罐头
Might even be the same can of shrimp.
好了
Okay.
时候到了泰迪
It's time, Teddy.
你得把共犯供出来
You need to give up your accomplice.
是谁在帮你
Who was helping you?
你只是蛇身我们要蛇头
You're the body of the snake, we want the head.
我们已经有嫌疑犯了你不如直接招了吧
We already have a suspect, so you might as well come clean.
我不知道你们在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
也许你记不清是因为刚从爷爷家回来
Maybe you can't remember because you're so hungry
你实在太饿了
from Grandpa's house.
是的
I am.
那我们来激活你的记忆吧
Then let us jog your memory.
上安迪
Do it, Andi.
是凯特全是凯特我从来不想骗你们
It was Kate. It was all Kate. I never wanted to lie to you.
我爱你们爸爸妈妈
I love you, Mommy and Daddy.
你回来了怎么样你惹麻烦了吗
You're back. What happened? Are you in trouble?
我没有
I'm not.
什么意思泰迪
What do you mean? Hey, Teddy?
泰迪
Teddy!
泰迪发生了什么事
Teddy, wh-what happened?
泰迪打开门
Teddy, open the door!
他不会理你的凯特
He's not gonna answer, Kate.
完了
Oh, no.
快看这下铜铃眼和颤抖唇了
Oh, look. We finally got our big-eyed lip tremble.
还加了一个膝盖的抖动
Hmm. Ooh. She added a knee wobble.