老爸有招

Man with a Plan S04E08

Part 1 July 7, 2020, 2:44 p.m.

洛厄尔这是你第一次参加银行回收房♥拍卖♥♥会
Okay, Lowell, since this is your first foreclosure auction,
我得帮你过几条规矩
I need to go over a few rules.
最重要的就是
The most important thing
别把手举起来
don't raise your hands,
不然他们会以为你在竞价
or they'll think you're bidding.
要随时把手放在身体两侧
Keep them at your side the whole time.
明白手放在身体两侧
Got it, hands at my side.
跟做♥爱♥时一样
Just like sex.
坏消息
Okay, bad news.
早餐墨西哥卷饼卖♥♥完了
They're out of breakfast tacos.
我看到你在垃圾桶旁狂吃了三个
I saw you wolf down three by the trash can.
所以才卖♥♥完了
That's why they ran out.
接下来这个房♥子感觉很适合翻新倒卖♥♥
So, this next house looks perfect for us to flip.
庭院不错还有飘窗
It has a great yard and a bay window.
什么老唐我们要拍的房♥子
What? No, Don, I picked the house
我一周前就选好了
we're bidding on a week ago.
但我想要这个房♥子
But I want this house.
那我还想要墨西哥卷饼呢
Well, I want a taco.
生活充满了失望
Life's full of disappointments.
好了各位
Okay, guys.
拍卖♥♥继续接下来是48号♥房♥产
We're back. Next up, lot 48.
-就是这个 -不是
- This is the one. - No, it's not.
起拍价是三万五
We'll start the bidding off at 35.
现场有人出价三万五吗
How about $35,000 right here?
来一下
Hit me.
后方高个子先生出价三万五
35 to the tall guy in the back of the room...
你要干什么
What are you doing?
我要买♥♥个房♥子
I'm buying a house.
这位女士出价三万六
The lady here's our next top bidder at 36!
来一下
Hit me.
高个子出价三万七有人出三万八吗
37 to the tall guy! How about 38?
你再说一次我就真给你来一下
You say that again, and I will-- I will hit you.
这不是我们要买♥♥的房♥子老唐
This is not the house we're buying, Don.
女士出价三万八有人出三万九吗
38 to the lady. How about 39?
好了她出价比你高了把牌子给我
Okay, good, she outbid you. Now give me the paddle.
赶紧给我
Give it to me right now.
-好吧 -谢谢
- Fine. - u202dThank you.
来一下
Hit me.
女士
Ma'am?
高个子和他的小个子搭档成交
Sold to the tall guy and his little buddy!
贝芙这样真好
Bev, this is fun!
我很少能跟婆婆这样单独相处
I never get one-on-one time with my mother-in-law.
我只是想告诉你我知道了
Well, I just wanted to let you know that... I know.
你得说得再具体一点
Ah, you're gonna have to be more specific.
我秘密很多
I have a lot of secrets.
我生日的事
About my birthday.
我没有听到任何计划
I mean, I haven't heard about any plans,
所以很明显是惊喜派对
so it's obviously a surprise party.
当然
Well, yeah, obviously.
唯一细心到会帮我筹备的人
And the only one thoughtful enough to plan that for me
肯定是我最喜欢的人
is my favorite person.
你
You.
我是你最喜欢的人吗
I'm... your favorite person?
你知道我们之间有特殊的联♥系♥
You know we have a special bond.
我一直能感觉到
I've always felt it.
只是不确定你也有同感
I just, I wasn't sure you did.
我当然有感觉
I definitely do.
我永远有时间陪你
I always have time for you. Aw.
我得走了
I got to run.
不过先谢谢你我知道你一定能做好
But thank you, and I know you'll do great.
我一定会努力筹办出最棒的派对
Oh, I am gonna throw the best party ever
送给最喜欢我的女士
for the lady who likes me the best.
贝芙
Hey, Bev?
你过完生日之后多大了
How old are you gonna be?
这可不是个好开头
That's not the way to start.
我知道你们在吵架
I know you guys are in the middle of a fight,
不过谢谢你们在小超♥市♥停了一下
but thanks for stopping at the mini-mart.
我家附近的那家店不让加威士忌酒
They don't let you add Mountain Dew at the one by my house.
你到底在想什么
What were you thinking?
我们要拍的房♥子我应该也有话语权
I should have a say in which house we pick.
上周我给你看我想要的房♥子时
Last week when I showed you the house I wanted,
你可没提什么想法
you didn't have any thoughts.
因为我当时没有想法
I didn't have any thoughts then.
想法什么时候来我可控制不了
I can't control when thoughts happen.
只有上帝能做到
Only Jesus can do that.
你知道你怎样会开心吗
You know what would cheer you up?
来一口冰沙
A little slushy.
我有投票权我是合伙人
I get a vote. I'm a partner.
好吧你说得对
Okay, you're right.
有道理
That's fair.
天啊
Oh, no.
老唐给你纸巾
Don, here's a napkin.
你别帮他洛厄尔
No, don't help him, Lowell.
就让他冷着
Let it be cold.
老爸有招第四季第八集
我要给你妈妈办一个生日派对
Hey, I'm throwing your mom a birthday party.
为什么
Why?
因为她让我办
Because she told me to.
但是我需要想到一个很特别的点子
But... I just need something to push it over the top.
你是否有兴趣
So, do you have any interest
跟我一起表演理发店四重唱
in being part of a barbershop quartet with me?
我今天早上过得很不顺安迪
I've had a rough morning, Andi.
我都无法假装称赞你这个馊主意
I can't even pretend to think that's a good idea.
拍卖♥♥会发生什么事
What happened at that auction?
一只蓝精灵给你跳了个大腿舞吗
Did you get a lap dance from a Smurf?
老唐买♥♥了一个我们没商量过的房♥子
Don bought a house we didn't agree on,
所以腿上就被洒了冰沙
so he got a slushy in his lap.
没错我给他来了一招"冻裆术"
That's right, I cold-crotched him.
老唐的房♥子看起来也不错
Don's house doesn't look bad.
有个很可爱的飘窗
It's got a cute bay window.
谢谢你安迪
Thank you, Andi.
他连考虑都不考虑
He wouldn't even consider it.
他觉得所有房♥子都该他来选
He thinks he gets to pick all the houses.
自从我们开始干这一行
We've been doing it like that ever since
就一直是这样的啊
we started flipping houses.
这是我们的体制
We have a system.
我觉得你的体制很烂
Well, I think your system stinks.
什么时候开始的
Since when?
从我去看心理医生之后
Since I've been going to therapy.
菲利希亚医生认为我应该更坚定
Dr. Felicia thinks I should be more assertive.
如果你有意见的话我很愿意
And if you don't like that, then I'd be happy
把我的脚坚定地踢在你屁♥股♥上
to assert my foot into your butt.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
我很乐意跟你打一架但是我不希望
Well, I'd fight you right now, but I don't want to get
我穿去拍卖♥♥会的好衣服被你弄脏
that blue stuff on my nice auction shirt.
你不理解
Come on, you don't get it, man.
我是想好好感受自己
I'm trying to work on myself.
你要是想感受自己应该跟大家一样
If you want to work on yourself, do it in the bathroom
在老婆不在的时候去浴室里好好感受
when your wife's not home like the rest of us!
乔
Hey, Joe. u202dHey.
你介不介意我看一下你们的婚礼相册
Do you mind if I, uh, if I look at your wedding album?
我想在贝芙生日的时候重现一下婚礼蛋糕
I want to recreate the cake for Bev's birthday party.
派对由我来操办因为我是她最喜欢的人
Oh, and I'm throwing it because I'm her favorite person in the world.
抱歉这个消息由我来告诉你
Sorry you had to hear that from me.
你想让她大开眼界是吗
So you're really trying to impress her, huh?
我会让她吃惊到袜子都飞出去
Oh, I am gonna knock her socks off. u202dYeah.
她不会为任何事大开眼界
She doesn't get impressed.
抱歉由我来告诉你这个消息
Sorry you had to hear that from me.
我知道她标准很高但是
Look, I know that she has high standards, but
有你帮我我一定能做好
I bet with your help I could nail it.
我没兴趣