老爸有招

Man with a Plan S04E02

Part 2 April 11, 2020, 11:42 a.m.

但我答应安迪不能说谎了
But I'm in the middle of a whole thing with Andi about lying.
她十分坚决地反对
She's come out strongly against it.
我不能去了爸爸抱歉
I can't do it, Dad. I'm sorry.
好吧
All right.
我问问你哥哥
I'll ask your brother.
也许大唐爱我
Don probably loves me.
你怎么总扎心窝子
Why do you always have to go nuclear?
因为有用
Because it works.
我不能跟安迪撒谎
So, I can't lie to Andi,
但我必须跟安迪撒谎
but I have to lie to Andi.
时不时跟妻子撒些小谎没关系的
It's okay to bend the truth with your wife now and again.
我就是这么想的
That's what I think.
婚姻是场马拉松那些谎言就是途中
Marriage is a marathon, and the lies are the bananas
隔几公里发给你的那些香蕉
they give you every couple of miles.
没有它们是撑不到终点线的
Without them, you'd never make it to the finish line.
我差一点就要拥抱你了
I just came very close to hugging you.
好吧我陪你
All right, I'll do it.
你和我一起不带大唐
Because it's you and me, together, without Don,
做些事情不带大唐
doing stuff without Don.
好孩子但是
Good boy. u202dBut, hey, hey...
不能让安迪知道明白吗
Andi can't know. All right?
那我们需要编一个好故事
So we need to come up with a good story
解释我晚上不能回家
to explain why I'm gone all night.
别担心
Don't worry about it.
我有帮手
I've got a guy.
你的帮手是玛茜
Marcy is your guy?
生动的千层面故事就是她的杰作
She came up with that dynamite lasagna story.
安迪的千层面做得不好众人皆知
It's well-known that Andi makes a weak lasagna.
最好的谎言是用事实调味的
The best lies are perfectly seasoned with the truth.
我的帮手厉害吧
My guy's good.
玛茜是安迪的闺蜜
Marcy's Andi's best friend.
她们什么都说
She's gonna tell her everything.
不通常我和安迪是一伙的但这是为了乔
No. Normally, I'm on team Andi, but this is for Joe.
这个男人保护我不受死敌的迫♥害♥
The man who protects me from my greatest enemy...
死敌就是他可爱的妻子贝芙
his lovely wife, Bev.
要不是他说服贝芙我适合大唐
If he hadn't convinced her that I was right for Don,
那我现在肯定还单身随意约...
I'd still be single and picking up random...
那都是过去的事了
You know what, that's in the past.
重点是
The point is...
我不会告诉安迪
I won't tell Andi.
你和老爸是朋友
You and Dad are friends?
这个邪恶的组合是什么时候开始的
How long has this unholy alliance been going on?
我们秘密操控这个家已经数十年了
We have been secretly running this family for decades.
影子政♥府♥
It's a shadow government.
你们两个都需要
So... you both need an excuse
明晚不在家的借口
to be out of the house tomorrow night.
我在剪大唐的报纸时
I saw something that might help
我看到些东西也许可以帮上忙
while I was cutting up Don's newspaper.
我每天把报纸剪好
Every day I do that to keep him
省得他看到生出一些奇怪的念头
from being tempted by bad ideas.
简直一个朝鲜现状
It's like North Korea over here.
就像这条
Oh, like this.
免费猫头鹰求好人家领养不行
"Free owl to a good home." No.
我无法忍♥受跟大唐和猫头鹰坐一桌
I won't sit across the dinner table from Don and his owl.
找到了
Oh, here we are.
渔具店新开业
"Fishing store grand opening."
这个不错
That's not bad.
重点不是你说什么而是你怎么说
But it's not just what you say, it's how you say it.
你们说谎总被看穿的原因
The... the reason you get caught a lot is because
是你们编的故事缺乏策略
your lies are obvious and lack finesse.
我可以的
I got this.
策略是我的中间名
Finesse is my middle name.
也是我的洗发水的名字
And my shampoo.
准备好了吗别担心我有计划
You ready? Don't worry, I got a plan.
我要假装紧张被安迪看穿
I'm gonna pretend to be nervous and get caught lying
她就会相信我真正要说的谎了
so that Andi'll believe the real lie.
大部分人说谎被拆穿的时候
See, most people when they get caught,
会把真♥相♥说出来
they admit the truth...
赶紧说吧我有心跳干扰
Just do it, I've got a heart flutter.
-好呀 -安迪呀
- Hi, guys. - u202dHey, Andi!
我是说你好安德鲁
I mean, hey... Andrew.
怎么了
What's going on?
没事没事没事
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
就是爸爸和我想去
It-it was just, uh, Dad and I wanted to, um...
家里是不是太热了
uh... Is it hot in here?
在你说下去之前我要说
Wait, before you go on,
看得出来你要撒谎了
I can tell that you're about to lie
我只想提醒你你保证过了
and I just want to remind you that you made a promise.
你说得对
You're right.
被你抓到了
You caught me.
好吧
Okay.
事实是这样的
Um... here's the truth.
这家渔具店要开业了
There's a, there's a grand opening at this fishing store
第一个顾客能领到很多免费的东西
and the first ten customers get lots of free stuff.
我和老爸今天晚上
So, Dad and I wanted to camp outside
想去店门口扎营等着
on the sidewalk tonight
这样明天我们可以第一个进店
so that we can be first in line tomorrow.
看说实话的感觉是不是好多了
See? Doesn't the truth feel better?
好太多了没错
So much better. Yeah, you know,
真的可以让我轻松不少
it really will set you free. Yeah.
我很乐意晚上照顾孩子们
Well, I am happy to handle the kids tonight.
好的太棒了
Okay, great.
那我们就明早见了
So, uh, I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning.
你们玩得开心哦
You guys have fun.
我去我妈妈家
I'm headed over to your mom's.
她让我送些我做的千层面
She asked me to bring over my lasagna.
也许今天她会承认我做得比他好
Maybe today's the day that she'll admit mine's better.
有可能
Maybe.
我们去给你装个心脏起搏器吧
Let's go get you a pacemaker. u202d
看到我刚刚多牛了吗我真是个银舌恶魔
See what I did there? I am one silver-tongued devil.
对你刚才只跑了垒别傻站着
Yeah, just run the bases, don't stand there
看球飞出球场
and watch the ball leave the park.
阿勒格尼城市医院
这个可爱小果汁让我感觉自己是个巨人
This tiny juice makes me feel like a giant.
手术怎么样
How was the surgery?
真带劲
I feel groovy.
他们还给我提供无限♥量♥的果汁
And they give you unlimited juice.
他的身体里现在流动的
Oh, he's got a lot more than juice
应该都是果汁
running through his system right now.
你真幽默孩子
You're funny, son.
我喜欢你的新发型安迪
And I like your new hairdo, Andi.
我们早几年就应该给他用上这东西了
We should've gotten him on this stuff years ago.
现在我们得想一想怎么收尾
Okay, now we need to focus on finishing this thing
才不会让我被抓到
without me getting caught.
♪ I'm looking over a four-leaf clover ♪
♪ That I overlooked before. ♪
这个任务最重要的部分来了回家
This is the most critical part of the mission: re-entry.
最难的部分不是去月球
Okay? The hard part's not going to the Moon,
而是回家
it's getting home.
感觉这句话有问题
I don't think that's true.
别质疑我对宇宙的了解玛茜我是专家
Don't question me about space, Marcy. I'm an expert.
我跟尼德·阿姆斯特朗吃过饭
I once had a beer with Ned Armstrong.
你是说尼尔吧
You mean Neil?
不尼德·阿姆斯特朗尼尔的表亲
No, Ned. Neil's cousin. u202dUh-huh.
他什么都跟我说了包括了
He told me everything, including the fact
以下是尼尔的原话
that Neil said, and I quote:
"我很担心如何回家"
"I'm just worried about getting home."
建议你不要再讲这故事了
I wouldn't tell that story again.
重点是不能让安迪发现我骗了她
The point is, Andi cannot catch me lying to her.
我保证过虽然我立刻就食言了
I promised. Yes, I immediately broke that promise,
但是我希望做正确的选择
but I would like to do the right thing,
-让她觉得我遵守了诺言 -好