老爸有招

Man with a Plan S04E04

Part 2 July 7, 2020, 2:44 p.m.

It was magic. Admit it.
是啊那天晚上车里的毯子很不安分
Oh, yeah, yeah. That was a truck blanket night. u202dYeah.
泰迪如果你希望这个女孩喜欢你
So, Teddy, if you want this girl to like you,
要顺其自然等魔法发生
just let the magic happen.
或者换个方式让她直接成为你女朋友
Or don't do that, and get yourself a girlfriend.
你来选
Your choice.
抱歉妈我想听爸爸的
Sorry, Mom, I'm going with Dad.
他可不笨
He's no dummy.
要是想学厨艺要来找厨师博伊尔迪
You want to learn to cook? You come to Chef Boyardee.
你到底是厨师博伊尔迪还是李小龙
Are you Chef Boyardee or Bruce Lee?
我又会做晚餐又会拍电影
I'm dinner and a movie.
就是这么完美
I do it all, baby.
接下来你就需要把对话内容
All right, now you just need to shift the conversation
从朋友间聊天转换到邀请她去轮滑派对
from friend stuff to asking her to the skate party.
这样我们示范一下
Here, we-we'll do a demonstration.
老唐你演麦迪森
Don, you be Madison.
确实应该我演
That makes sense.
麦迪森你好吗
Hey, Madison, how's it going?
好
Cool, cool.
这下气氛正好你就直接说
Now you're grooving, so you hit her with,
"你打算去杰里米的轮滑派对吗"
"Hey, are you going to Jeremy's skate party?"
我在考虑
I was thinking about it.
是吗我也在想
Yeah? Me, too. Hey,
我刚想到我们应该一起去
I just thought of something, we should go together.
抱歉我不跟比我矮的男人约会
Sorry, I don't date guys shorter than me.
我就知道你要砸我场子只是不知道什么时候
I knew you'd ruin it. I just didn't know when.
泰迪接下来我们需要制♥造♥一些魔法
Look, Teddy, next, we need to manufacture some magic.
懂吗设定一个场景
Okay? Set up a situation
好像命运让你遇到她一样
where it looks like fate caused you to run into her.
女孩很喜欢这一套
Girls love that.
你能搞到冰淇淋车吗
Can you get your hands on an ice cream truck?
冰淇淋车的音乐是好助攻
The music will do the work for you.
我想到了
I got it, I got it.
她在等爸妈来接她时
You casually bump into her
你就很随意地遇到她
while she's waiting for her parents at pickup.
麦迪森是骑自行车上学的
Madison rides her bike to school.
好吧
Hmm, okay, uh-- Oh.
那这样吧
How about this?
你午休的时候溜出去把她轮胎扎爆
You slip out during lunch and you pop a hole in her tire.
然后你可以按我上周教你的方法补好
Then you can patch it for her like I taught you last week.
我记得你教我但是后来就没好好听
I remember you showing me, but I stopped paying attention
因为我想到如果需要的时候可以找你
because I realized if I ever needed it, you could do it.
好吧那你就直接给她放气
Fine, just let the air out of her tire,
然后提出帮她把自行车推回家
then offer to push her bike home.
在路上你邀请她去派对
During the walk, you ask her to the party.
太棒了
That's great. u202dYeah.
等等万一她拒绝呢
Wait, what if she says no?
永远记住四个字 "开玩笑的"
Ah, always remember two words, "Just kidding."
任何尴尬的时刻都可以解决
They get you out of any embarrassing situation.
除非你想从动物园里偷猴子
Except when you try to steal a monkey from the zoo.
他们每天晚上都会点数量
They count those things every night.
我提醒一句
I'm telling you.
这是什么情况
What's all this?
我们在庆祝
Oh, it's a celebration.
对泰迪今天要约麦迪森
Yeah, Teddy's asking Madison out today,
所以我就邀请大家来共享我的胜利
so I invited the guys over to share in my victory--
泰迪泰迪的胜利
Teddy-Teddy's victory.
我们家祖祖辈辈都是撩妹达人
We come from a long line of ladies' men.
先是我然后小唐现在是泰迪
First me, then Donny, and now Teddy.
说得好爸爸
Well said, Pop.
回来了怎么样帅哥
There he is. How'd it go, champ?
麦迪森拒绝了
Madison said no.
怎么回事你帮她推车了吗
What happened? Did you push her bike home?
外面很热你是不是忘记除臭了
It was hot. Did you forget deodorant?
就是没成
No, it just didn't work.
因为全都是设计好的
That's because it was all a setup.
魔法是不能制♥造♥的女人能看出来
You can't manufacture magic. Women can always tell.
不行赢家才能吃零食
No, snacks are for closers.
别担心泰迪我们能搞定
Don't worry, Teddy, we'll figure this out.
其实如果你想拉近你和一个女人的距离
Actually, if you want to get closer to a woman,
也许你应该跟一个女人聊聊
you should probably talk to a woman.
我去哪找女人这就是问题所在啊
Where am I gonna get one of those? That's my whole problem.
我呀泰迪我是女人
Me, Teddy. I'm a woman.
如果你需要的话我可以帮忙
I can, I can help you if you want.
真的吗那太好了谢谢妈
Really? That's awesome. Thanks, Mom.
等等
Yeah. u202dHold on.
那我呢
What about me?
你出局了我需要结果
You're out. I need results.
我不明白我给他编的故事无懈可击
I don't get this. I gave him solid gold material.
问题就在这里
That's the point.
你帮他编故事对吧故事不是真的
You gave him material, right? It wasn't real.
你说你是撩妹高手
You-you call yourself this great wooer...
但你搞砸了
But you whiffed.
你是破坏者
You're a whiffer.
这件事他需要一个女人来帮忙亚当
He needs a woman to help him with this, Adam.
我知道女人都喜欢什么
I know what women want.
好，如果我不知道女人需要什么，我是怎么追到你了？
Okay, if I don't know what women want, how did I get you?
那是魔法
That was magic.
不是因为你
You didn't do anything.
真的吗你知道吗
Oh, really? You know,
没想到你会这么说
it's interesting you would say that,
关于你特别喜欢的女服务员故事对吗
because you know that story about the waitress you love so much?
知道吗
Mm-hmm. u202dYeah? Yeah.
是我给了她十美金让她说我们是天造地设的一对儿
I paid her ten dollars to say we were a perfect couple.
人造魔法
Manufactured magic.
效果很好
And it worked. Ha!
所以我记忆里特别珍贵的那个时刻
So, the precious moment that I remember
以为是宇宙暗示我我们是命中注定在一起的
as the universe giving me a sign that we were meant to be...
是个骗局
was a trick?
别这样很有趣
Come on. It's funny. It's the old
是老套的所嫁非人戏码。
"you married a different guy than you thought" gag.
记得我说我给了服务员十美金的故事吗
Remember the thing I said about giving that waitress ten dollars?
开玩笑的
Just kidding.
我只是想说如果我没有给服务员钱
I'm just saying, if I hadn't paid that waitress
让她说我们是天造地设的
to say we were perfect for each other,
我们可能就不会在一起了
we might not even be together.
你想过没有
You ever think of that?
我现在就在想
I'm thinking about it right now.
但结果不是很好吗
But everything worked out.
看看我们彼此相爱
Look at us! We're in love.
你不明白是你不用做这些
What you don't get is that you didn't need to do it.
我就已经喜欢上你了
I already liked you.
我当时也喜欢你
Well, and I already liked you, too.
所以我才会搞那些小骗局把你套牢
That's why I had to play all those tricks and lock it down.
-那些小骗局不止一个 -不是谁说的
- All those tricks? There's more? - u202dNo. Who said that?
有很多事我要重新考虑考虑了
I'm starting to question a lot of things.
那晚在你家灯突然灭了
Wh-Wh... What about that night in your apartment
然后你点了很多蜡烛把上衣脱了修灯
when the lights went out, so you lit a bunch of candles,
是真的还是假的
and then you took your shirt off to fix it?
我把电掐了
I cut the power.
但我的肌肉是真的我对你的爱也是
But my muscles were real and so were my feelings for you.
你送到我家那只
Mm. Mm-hmm. And that wounded dove
受伤的鸽子然后养好了
that you brought over to my house to nurse back to health?
是不是你给它弄伤然后表现你有多温柔
Did you choke it out so I could see your soft and gentle side?
不是我绝对不会的
No! I would never do that.
我给它喂了点泡过咳嗽药的面包
I soaked some bread in cough medicine.
可那段回忆多美好啊
But it's still a great memory.
而且那只鸟睡了最香的一觉
And that bird got the best sleep of his life.
你真是难以置信
You are unbelievable.
我知道
I know.
可你这句话好像不是在夸我