老爸有招

Man with a Plan S04E12

Part 1 July 7, 2020, 2:45 p.m.

爸
Dad!
在
Yeah.
谁有两个大拇指且刚拿到学车许可
Who has two thumbs and just got her learner's permit?
正是我
This guy.
凯蒂
Katie...
-我太为你骄傲了 -没错
- Oh, I'm so proud of you. - That's right.
她通过了车管所的笔试
She passed her written test at the DMV
现在可以实习开车了
and can now practice driving.
匹兹堡的市民已经开始颤抖了
The citizens of Pittsburgh are trembling in fear.
他们应该颤抖我差点没通过
They should be. I barely passed.
这太令人兴奋了
This is gonna be so great.
一旦她拿到驾照就可以去跑腿了
Once she gets her license, she can run errands
还可以带晚餐
and pick up dinner and...
我要把外卖♥♥软件删掉因为我们自己有了
I'm gonna delete Postmates because we made our own.
她就是凯蒂"小哥"
She's a Postkate.
等一下你忘了最重要的好处
Well, h-hold on, hold on. You forgot the best part.
她不仅可以送餐还可以帮我们送孩子
Not only can she drive our food, she can drive our other kids.
你带着他们满城奔波的日子结束了
Your days of running them around town are over.
如果能成不如我们再生几个
If this works, I say we have more kids.
别急我还得通过路考呢
Hold on. I still have to pass my road test.
不是问题伯恩斯家的有驾驶基因
Not a problem. We Burns have driving in our blood.
这一刻我等待很久了凯蒂
I have waited a long time for this, Katie.
来吧一起去玩起来
Come on. Let's go have some fun.
这一个小时真让我生不如死
That was the worst hour of my life.
后视镜怎么了
What happened to the mirror?
我只是为了保命找个抓手
I was looking for something to hold onto.
反正她也不会用这个
She wasn't using it anyway.
老爸有招第四季第十二集
当你说请我们过来看比赛
When you invited us over to watch the game,
我以为会是在你家客厅看
I assumed we'd be doing it in your living room.
至少是没有这么多蜘蛛的地方
Or at least a place with less spiders.
我们到这来是因为我在躲避安迪
We're out here because I'm dodging Andi.
她还想让我带凯蒂练车
She wants me to take Katie driving again,
我需要时间恢复
and I need time to recuperate.
下意识狂踩刹车让我脚踝疼到现在
My ankle still hurts from stomping on the imaginary brake.
我可以接受躲着反正我需要低调
I'm cool with hiding. I need to lay low anyway.
玛茜还在生这位挚爱的气
Marcy's mad at yours truly.
是因为你称自己为"你的挚爱"吗
Is it because you refer to yourself as "yours truly"?
她说我变得自满不会给她制♥造♥浪漫了
She says I've gotten complacent and I don't romance her anymore.
这到底是什么意思
What does that even mean?
也许是你变得自满不会给她制♥造♥浪漫了
Maybe you've gotten complacent and don't romance her anymore.
这样啊从男人嘴里说出来就好理解了
Oh. You know, it makes sense when a man says it.
知道吗
You know,
当我想给女人制♥造♥浪漫
when I really want to romance a woman,
我会为她做一顿精致晚餐
I cook her a gourmet dinner
精心炮制手工意大利面疙瘩
with my special handmade gnocchi.
但玛茜是做饭的如果我再做就做重了
But Marcy cooks dinner. If I cook it, there'll be two dinners.
亚当
Adam?
-你在这里躲着吗 -我
- Are you hiding out here? - What, n...
你的女儿在等着上驾驶课呢
Your daughter is waiting for her driving lesson.
我很愿意带她上课但我有客人
I-I would love to take her, but I have guests.
我们能出来说吗
Can we talk outside?
能能
Yeah, yeah.
让邻居们听听又何妨
Why not let the neighbors hear it?
你说过你想教凯蒂开车
You said you wanted to teach Kate how to drive,
可眼下你却在躲着她
but now you're just avoiding her.
安迪如果玛茜问你就说没看到我
Hey, Andi! If Marcy asks, you never saw me.
谢了美女
Thanks, doll.
凯蒂还没有准备好安迪
Katie is not ready, Andi.
我们遇到个左转弯
There was a left-hand turn where we went
我们却一直原地转圈
all the way around in a circle.
就像马里奥赛车
Like Mario Kart.
所以你才要教她
That's why you're teaching her.
亚当我需要凯蒂会开车
Look, Adam, I need Kate to drive.
我刚给泰迪报了足球俱乐部
u202dI just signed Teddy up for club soccer.
-有一个小时车程我办不到 -不
- It's an hour away. I can't do it. - u202dNo...
抱歉但十六岁开车还是太小
I'm sorry, but 16 is too young to drive.
十六岁不能投票不能饮酒
16-year-olds can't vote, they can't drink,
也不能看过分暴露的电影
they can't see movies with boobs.
如果他们能开车去电影院却不能看限制级电影
How does it make sense that they can drive to a movie with boobs,
这说得通吗
but can't go in?
听着如果你不愿意和凯蒂同行
Look, if you won't get behind the wheel with Kate,
那就我来教她
I'll teach her.
反正我比你开得好
I'm a better driver than you anyway.
好了凯蒂
Now, Katie,
我不想上次出现的事情再次发生
I don't want what happened last time to happen again.
是说你大喊大叫吗
You mean all your yelling?
我只大叫了一次只不过持续了整个车程
I only yelled one time. It just lasted the whole drive.
今天我们来尝试下用分数制
Today, we're gonna try a point system.
你一开始有一百分
You start with a hundred points.
如果你做错了就扣分
If you do something wrong, you lose points.
如果扣到零分我们今天就不练了第二天再说
When you get to zero, we are done driving until the next day. Hmm?
合理
Sounds fair.
不不等一下等一下
Okay. Uhp-uhp, hold on, hold up, hold up.
记得我教过你的吗
Remember what I taught you?
在启动汽车前第一步要做什么
What's the first thing you do before you start the vehicle?
你要查看你的...
You check your...
短♥信♥息
Text messages.
这样你开车时候就不会分心
So you're not tempted while you're driving.
不不不不能发短♥信♥
No, no, no. No-no texting.
减二十分
Minus 20 points.
你要查看后视镜
No, you check your mirrors.
明白
Got it.
可爱可爱
u202dCute, cute.
可爱
Cute.
好吧把手放到方向盘上
Okay, uh, put your hands on the wheel.
双手你不是拉皮条的
Both hands. You're not a pimp.
你就是这么做的
That's how you do it.
减三十分因为你在车里胡闹
Minus 30 for being funny in the car.
这里是严肃的地方
This is a serious place.
把你的手放在时钟两点和十点的地方
Now put your hands at ten and two, like a clock.
现在已经没人用时钟了在手♥机♥上是什么样呢
No one uses clocks anymore. What would it be on a phone?
减五十分因为你不会看时钟
Minus 50 for not understanding clocks.
你没分了
You're out of points.
我们都没离开门前车道呢
But we didn't even leave the driveway.
好的我准备发信息告诉邻居们
Right. I'll text the neighbors and let them know
现在出来是安全的
it's safe to go outside.
我刚刚和凯蒂聊了
So, I was just talking to Kate.
你们已经保持两周每天都练车了
You guys have been driving every day for two weeks
她认为自己准备好参加车管所路考了
and she thinks she's ready for her DMV road test.
她没准备好我告诉过你
No, she's not ready. I told you.
昨天她车还没有停到位就下车了
Yesterday, she got out of the car before she put it in park.
我只能用脚踹地才停下
I had to Fred Flintstone it to a stop.
带她去考试吧我不想回到
Just take her to the test. I don't want to go back
满是蜘蛛的车♥库♥了
in the garage with the spiders.
我碾死一只其他的就都出来报仇了
I squashed one and the others are out for revenge.
因为看到我杀死了它们的朋友
They saw me kill their friend.
我爱凯蒂但我不觉得她能成为一个好司机
I love Katie, but I don't think she'll ever be a good driver.
是你给我承诺说
You promised me that my days
我带孩子满城奔波的日子结束了
of running the kids around town were over.
结果现在
But here I am,
我要去足球班接泰迪
going to pick up Teddy at soccer,
基本上等于去一趟加拿大
which is basically in Canada.
预约考试吧
Book the test.
我该怎么办
What am I gonna do?
我觉得凯蒂通过不了
I don't think Katie will pass,
但我又不愿意做坏人
but I'm tired of being the bad guy.
那就让车管所做坏人
So let the DMV be the bad guy.
如果她没准备好就没驾照
If she's not ready, no license.
不错宾夕法尼亚州
I like it. The state of Pennsylvania
会帮我把脏活干了