老爸有招

Man with a Plan S04E06

Part 3 July 7, 2020, 2:44 p.m.

Oh, I didn't, Don did.
老唐找的
Don found him?
对我还很为他骄傲
Yeah, I was proud of him.
一般他没有这么积极的时候
He doesn't usually take the initiative.
天啊玛茜醒醒吧
Oh, my God. Marcy, wake up.
-查克查克是个骗子 -什么
- Chuck-- Chuck is a ringer. - What? u202d
听着明显是老唐找了个怪医生
Look, Don obviously got some weirdo doctor
把一切问题都怪在你的头上
to tell you that you were wrong about everything.
不然要怎么解释那件
I mean, is there any other explanation
汽车城伴唱风格的衬衫
for that Motown backup singer shirt?
我绝对要付出代价
He is so gonna pay.
他穿着那件衣服去了教堂
He wore that thing to church.
当着上帝的面
In front of God.
现在亚当要故技重施
A-And now Adam is working the same scam
骗我买♥♥船
to get a boat.
我怎么一点都不意外
u202dWhy am I surprised?
他们俩的爸爸
He was raised by a man
是个穿着内♥裤♥上街的男人
who wanders the streets in his underpants.
好兴奋啊
This is exciting.
等不及赶快进去说个明白
I can't wait to get in there and hash this all out,
听听查克医生会怎说买♥♥船的事
see what Dr. Chuck thinks about the boat.
感觉你自信满满的
Hey. You seem confident.
我相信科学安迪
I believe in science, Andi.
亚当安迪我是菲利希亚医生
Adam, Andi, I'm Dr. Felicia.
跟我来办公室
Come on back to my office.
查克哪去了
Where's Chuck?
查克没有空我预约了他的同事
Oh, Chuck wasn't available, so I made an appointment
菲利希亚医生
with his colleague Dr. Felicia.
-怎么了 -我不想去
- What's wrong? u202d- I don't want to.
我听说今天要讨论的是一艘船
So, I hear we're going to be talking about a boat today.
我不想谈
I don't want to.
查克不在
Chuck's not here.
快跑
Run!
我还是不理解发生了什么
I still don't understand what happened.
我们同意去看查克医生
We agreed on Dr. Chuck.
不是我们同意了去做咨♥询♥
No, we agreed on therapy.
我们去做了而我个人为此感到非常满意
Which we got, and I for one, am a very satisfied customer.
我已经在点评上给她评了五颗星
I already gave her five stars on Yelp.
她讨厌船
She is a boat hater.
如果我们找的是查克医生现在已经在滑水了
If we'd gone with Chuck, I'd be waterskiing right now.
当然是了
Of course you would.
因为他是个骗子假货赝品
Because he was a ringer, a phony, a fraud.
你又不知道
You don't know that.
对吧
Do you?
你怎么知道的
How do you know that?
你想用心理咨♥询♥套路我买♥♥船
You tried to rig therapy to get a boat.
我试过很多套路去买♥♥船
I tried a whole bunch of things to get a boat.
要是在你这里套路成功过一次
And if you had fallen for one of those,
我们就不会谈这件事了
we wouldn't even be here.
有件事我十分确定
Well, I know one thing for sure.
永远都不会有船停在我们家的车道上
There will never, ever be a boat in that driveway.
-还没到星期二呢 -什么
- It's not Tuesday. - u202dWhat?
我说这周有好几天呢
I'm-I'm just saying days of the week it's not.
这样吧
You know what?
亲爱的我惹你生了好多气
Honey, I have put you through so much.
让我带你出去吃个晚餐
Let me take you out to dinner.
快点跑还能赶上限时优♥惠♥
Huh? If we sprint, we can still make happy hour.
为什么走这边
Why are we going this way?
我们不走后门又不是野人
Well, we're not going out the back door, like savages.
我要让全世界都看到我美丽的妻子
I want the whole world to see my beautiful wife.
晚上好伯恩斯先生我把您的船送来了
Evening, Mr. Burns. I'm here to drop off your boat.
我又想了一下还是在家吃吧
On second thought, I'd rather eat in.
不关你的事先生抱歉让你听到了那么多脏话
It's not your fault, sir. I'm sorry for all the cursing.
她不知道我买♥♥船了
She didn't know about the boat.
你是我遇到的本周第三个
Yeah, you're the third drop-off this week
没告诉老婆就买♥♥船的人了
where the wife didn't know.
他们是怎么做的
What did those guys do?
我只是个送船的兄弟
I just deliver the boats, man.
好呀船长
Ahoy, Captain.
我们给你买♥♥了香槟为船洗礼
We brought you champagne to christen ye new vessel.
时机不对
Uh, now's not a good time.
我让他们早点把船送来
I got the boat delivered early
我们这周末就可以出海了
so we could take it out this weekend.
你俩吵什么呢
What are you guys fighting about?
我说不许买♥♥船亚当还是买♥♥了
Adam bought a boat after I said no.
错了
Wrong.
我先买♥♥的然后你才说不行
I bought the boat before you said no.
这些天我一直在努力让你说可以
I spent all this time trying to get you to say yes.
也有你不知道的事
You don't know everything.
好等一下
Okay, w-well, w-wait a minute.
所以这一切
S-So a-all that stuff,
情感咨♥询♥ 布朗尼孩子们
t-the therapy, t-the brownie, the kids,
都是因为你已经买♥♥了船
was all because you already bought a boat?
我早该猜到的你从来不给我留布朗尼
I should've known. You never save me a brownie.
好吧没错我都做错了
Okay, yes, I did everything wrong.
可是这样很不公平
But you know, it just didn't seem fair.
我们能买♥♥船吗我同意你否决就不能买♥♥了
Can we have a boat? I say yes, you say no, so it's a no.
为什么妻子的否决
Why is the wife's no
比丈夫的同意更有决定权
more powerful than the husband's yes?
因为没有我们否决就天下大乱了
Because without our no, it's chaos.
男人的平均寿命将变成30岁
A man's life expectancy would be 30
因为你们全淹死在灌满啤酒的按♥摩♥浴缸里了
because you'd all drown in Jacuzzis filled with beer.
提醒我了你还否局了按♥摩♥浴缸
Which reminds me, you also said no to a Jacuzzi.
婚姻不是应该各占50吗
Marriage is supposed to be 50-50, right?
不是不是
No, no, no, no.
是51比49
It's 51-49.
和二十一点一样我有庄家优势
Yeah, the house has the edge, just like blackjack.
你为什么是房♥子是我打的桩
How are you the house? I built the house.
你只是用枕头把房♥子塞满了
All you did was fill it with these pillows.
你是说我对这个家做的唯一贡献
Are you saying that my only contribution
只有枕头吗
to this house is pillows?
我们好像说跑题了
I think we've gotten off track.
你只是为了船跟我生气记住了
You're only mad about the boat. Remember that.
船还在车道上你敢相信我居然做了这种事吗
Still in the driveway. Can you believe I did that?
他没告诉我就买♥♥船了
He bought a boat without telling me.
然后还撒了谎
And then he lied about it.
对都是他做的我们还结着婚呢
Yeah. He did that. While we were married.
训他菲利希亚
Get him, Felicia.
显然你对船有十分的热情
Well, you're clearly very passionate about boats.
在上一次咨♥询♥中你说你必须拥有一艘船
In our last session, you said you had to have one
因为船棒呆了
because boats are "Bitchin'."
我依然坚持
I stand by that.
他还坚持菲利希亚
He stands by it, Felicia.
行了我知道结局如何
Okay, look, I know where this is going.
我来省点时间自己把男子气概锁进那个小盒
And if it'll save time, I will put my own nuts in that box.
那里面是我父亲的骨灰
That's where I keep my father's ashes.
节哀顺变
Sorry for your loss.
在很多人际关系中是有很多灰色地带的
You know, in many relationships, there's a lot of grey areas.
但你们的情况中明确是有好处的
But in this situation, we have the benefit of clarity.
从医学角度上说亚当你大错特错
Clinically speaking, Adam, you're super wrong.
这150元花得太值了
That is the best 150 bucks I ever ever spent.
谢谢菲利希亚你真是妙手良医
Thanks, Felicia. You've been very helpful.
等等还没有说完
Hang on. We're not done here.
我们刚刚确认完问题了
We've identified the problem,
现在看看有没有深层原因
but now let's see if there's and underlying cause.
大错特错这个结果我很满意收支票吗
Eh, I'm good with super wrong. Do you take checks?
账户里没钱
There's no money in that account.
我全用来买♥♥船了
I spent it all on the boat.
亚当你用最重要的关系去冒险
Adam, you risked your most important relationship for this,
肯定还有更深层的原因在里面
so there must be something deeper going on.
你想到船的时候会想到什么