同妻俱乐部（2015）

Grace and Frankie S04E08

Part 1 Sept. 16, 2020, 12:53 p.m.

竟然是假警报真是抱歉了
Sorry about the false alarm, gang.
另外之前的三次假警报我也很抱歉
Also, sorry about the three false alarms before that.
不必道歉
Don't apologize.
我们家宝宝准备好了就会出来了
Our baby will come out when she's good and ready.
是啊
Yeah.
也许一直不出来然后你就成民间传奇了
Or maybe she won't and you'll become some kind of folk legend.
♪她继续努力着一直怀着孕♪
♪But that lady kept on truckin' And she kept on being pregnant♪
我之前真觉得这次是要生了
I really thought this was the one.
我也信了你的尖叫声太吓人了
I had hopes, too. Your screams were so unsettling.
谢谢
Thank you.
下次你再去医院
Let us know when you're
告诉我们一声我们立刻赶过去
heading back to the hospital and we'll be there.
我不想回去了
I don't want to go back there.
你可以等羊水破了再去
Don't have to go back there until your water breaks.
我永远不想回去了
I don't want to go back there ever.
距离我的预产期只有一周了医生怎么能退休
How could our doctor retire a week before my due date?
他不是退休是被医院劝退了他都85岁了
He didn't retire. He was retired by the hospital. For being 85.
而且还把凯迪拉克开进了急诊室
And for driving his Cadillac through the emergency room.
我才不要回去找那个14岁的值班医生
Well, I'm not going back to that 14-year-old who's on call.
他叫我"喊孩子来了的女孩"[狼来了]He called me "The girl who cried baby."
他只是想搞笑一下
He was trying to be funny.
我要是想找笑星来帮我接生我会打给加拉格
If I want a comedian to deliver our baby, I'll call Gallagher.
加拉格这周去凯霍加福尔斯了
Gallagher's in Cuyahoga Falls this week.
我真希望是那位医生这周去凯霍加福尔斯了
Well, I wish that doctor was in Cuyahoga Falls this week.
他一副高高在上的姿态
He was so condescending.
-他以为自己是谁啊 -医学博士
- It's like, who does he think he is? - A medical doctor?
巴德我绝对不要在那里生孩子
Bud, I will not have our baby there.
艾莉森你现在很沮丧
Allison, you're frustrated.
-荷尔蒙大爆发 -小心踩雷大兵
- You're hormonal. - Tread lightly, soldier.
你真美
You're beautiful.
但还是要让奥尼尔医生来接生孩子
But Dr. O'Neill is delivering our baby.
我不会让那个"青春期"医生靠近孩子
Dr. Puberty isn't coming near our baby.
艾莉森其实...
Allison, you know...
记得我刚才跟巴德说的小心踩雷吗
Remember that thing I just said about light treading to Bud?
记得没关系
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
研究表明家庭分娩只要小心照料
Recent studies have shown home birth, done with care,
能够减少感染风险增进母婴感情
reduces the risk of infection and enhances bonding.
艾莉森
Allison.
这种东西她都是从自己写的报纸上读到的
She reads this stuff in a newsletter that she writes.
我不在乎
I don't care.
过去的十年里
The home birth rate has
家庭分娩率已经增长了30%
increased by 30 percent in the last ten years.
如果梅丽尔·斯特里普能在家分娩...
And, hey, if it's good enough for Meryl Streep...
-梅丽尔吗 -没错
- Meryl? - That's right.
你猜还有什么有利条件
And guess what else?
你认识一个不仅有资格
You know someone very qualified
而且还有接生经验的人
and experienced to perform the delivery.
-梅丽尔吗 -不是我
- Meryl? - No, me.
我在六十年代和七十年代早期
I've delivered lots of babies
接生了许多婴儿
in the '60s and in the early part of the '70s.
一直到公社解散
Really until the commune disbanded
摩♥门♥教♥派领袖沃伦·杰弗斯
以及杰夫教主因重婚罪锒铛入狱
and Guru Jeff went to jail for marrying too many ladies.
弗兰琦你愿意为我的孩子接生吗
Frankie... will you deliver my baby?
愿意艾莉森我当然愿意
Yes, Allison, a thousand times, yes!
你不是认真的吧
You can't be serious.
我当然是万分认真的
Serious as a federal polygamy inquest.
我得去列个清单
I've got to go make a list.
爸帮帮忙
Dad, a little help?
根据我的经验
I find it's best
这种事上最好不要阻拦你妈妈
to not get in your mother's way with this kind of stuff.
你是说我孩子出生这种事吗
Oh, you mean like the birth of my child?
巴德你要记住
Bud, you need to remember
这个孩子不仅是你的也是你妈妈的
that this baby is as much your mother's as it is yours.
-你要找什么 -需要一个脐带夹
- What are you looking for? - Oh, we need a cord clamp.
你是说脐带夹吗
Wait, a cord clamp?
你有脐带夹吗
Do you have a cord clamp?
没有但我有文件夹
No, but I have a chip clip.
还需要酒精还有毛巾许多毛巾
And we need alcohol. And towels. A lot of towels.
才能创造奇迹
You know, to wipe up the miracle.
我们家有很多毛巾
We've got plenty of towels at our place.
罗伯特特别喜欢亚麻制品
Robert's a bit of a linen queen.
很好我的分娩塞放在哪里了
Perfect. Now where in Helena did I put my birthing clogs?
嗨姑娘过得好吗
Hi, girl. How's tricks?
格蕾丝你为什么坐在楼梯上
Grace, why are you sitting on the stairs?
人们为什么要坐在沙发上
Why do people sit on a couch?
仔细想想跟坐在楼梯上一样没道理啊
It's just as arbitrary as a good stair-sit if you think about it.
你背包里是什么
What's in the backpack?
东西就是装在背包里的东西
Stuff. You know, backpack stuff.
让我看看
Let me have a little look.
马克杯茶杯电炉
A mug, a teabag, a hot plate,
热水壶还有一些自♥制♥什锦糖果
a kettle, and some homemade trail mix.
我知道是怎么回事了
I can see what's going on here.
你每次都这么说每次都猜错
Oh, you always say that and it's never true.
你想在洗澡的时候喝杯茶但是拿不了
You wanted a cup of tea in the bath, you couldn't carry it
因为两只手都要用来爬楼梯
because you have to have both hands free to scoot up the stairs.
等等你为什么上不了楼梯
Wait, why can't you make it up the stairs?
因为她两天后就要做换膝手术
Because she's having knee replacement surgery in two days,
医生要她彻底排毒
and her doctor wants her to do a full detox.
不能喝酒也不能吃止痛药
No booze and no pain pills.
我的天使们啊
My angels.
格蕾丝你不能走路
Grace, it's not safe for
一个人待着很不安全
you to be here by yourself unable to walk.
其实
You know,
我和弗兰琦打算去我家等着
Frankie and I are planning on waiting at my house
快生的时候巴德会打电♥话♥来
until we get the big call from Bud.
我说服他们进行家庭分娩了
I convinced them to have a home birth.
你不能用我的毛巾
You're not using my towels!
当然不用真多疑
Of course not. Paranoid.
不如你跟我们一起去吧
Why don't you come stay with us?
刚好可以让你在手术前排毒
It'll be the perfect place to detox before your surgery.
真的吗
Wow, really?
谢谢啊
Oh, thanks.
那听起来真是太他妈糟糕了
That sounds absolutely fucking horrible.
他说得对到时候很多人可以照顾你
He's right. There will be plenty of people to take care of you
而且也没有楼梯
and there are no stairs.
其实有两段楼梯
Well, there are two stairs.
你们根本不必担心
All of this worry is unnecessary.
请相信我的话离开我家
Believe me when I say, leave my house.
你这么倔难道是想害我错过
Are you gonna make me miss my grandbaby's birth
我孙儿的出生吗
because you're being stubborn?
你希望我再也不理你吗
Do you want me to never speak to you again?
-格蕾丝 -我我在考虑
- Grace? - Well, I'm... I'm thinking.
扶她起来索尔
Pick her up, Sol.
弗兰琦
Frankie, uh...
我是个75岁的老头子
I'm a 75-year-old man.
雅各布就可以
Jacob could do it.
你为什么总想挑拨我和雅各布的关系
Why are you always trying to drive a wedge between Jacob and me?
我没事尼克今天下午会来
I'm fine. Nick is coming over this afternoon.
少骗人了
Nice try.
我们都知道他这个礼拜
We both know that he is in
去阿纳海姆市买♥♥迪士尼的头了
Anaheim this week buying Walt Disney's head.
那好吧
Okay, fine.
但我不要索尔扶我
But Sol's not carrying me.
没问题
No problem.
我去拿手推车
I will get the wheelbarrow.
♪七十六支长号♥引领着游♥行♥♪
♪Seventy-six trombones Led the big parade♪
♪一百一十支短号♥紧随其后♪
♪With 110 cornets close at hand♪
♪技巧娴熟的名家倾情演奏♪
♪They were followed by Rows and rows of the finest virtuosos♪
♪美妙节奏让我们同拍手♪
♪The cream of every famous band♪
♪美妙节奏让我们同拍♪