神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E09

Part 1 April 2, 2020, 11:36 a.m.

长官你最近成为了新行动队的招聘委员
Sir, I'd like to talk to you about the new task force
我想跟你聊一下
you're on the hiring committee for.
你是说特殊战术行动与协助
The Special Tactical Operations and Auxiliary
战术响应城市紧急事态
Strategic Response Citywide Emergency
调查之紧急行动队吗
Investigative Unit for Emergency Operations?
你知道吗取名有我一部分的功劳
You know, I had a hand in naming it.
很棒啊不过你要不要试着缩短名字
And it's great, although you might wanna try shortening it,
比如用很酷的缩写之类的
maybe using a cool acronym.
所以是"特战行协战响城紧调急行队"
So the S.T.O.A.S.R.C.E.I.U.E.O.?
你说得没错这样挺酷啊
Hm, you're right. That is cool.
对对对反正我听说市里有一些顶尖警♥察♥们
Sure, anyways, I know some of the best cops in the city
都会加入这个行动队
are gonna be on that task force,
我很希望您能考虑一下我
and I would appreciate it if you'd consider me for it.
这是我的报名简历
Here's my resume.
我本来想饶舌念出来会感觉比较有趣
And I thought it would be fun if I rapped it.
但我想到这点子一定不合你胃口
But then I realized that would be a terrible idea,
所以我就正常地写下来了
so I just wrote it down normally.
里面很多的押韵纯属巧合
It'll probably rhyme a lot on accident.
不要太关注那些东西
Try not to focus on that.
"杰克·帕拉塔今年三十九
"Jake Peralta is age 39,
但工作上还能尖峰很久
but professionally, he's still in his prime...
如果让我说纽约最强... 手
If you ask me, he's New York's fine...est.
查尔斯进场"
Charles enters."
? 啦哒哒哒哒查克B喷火 ?
? Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat, Chucky B with the burner ?
? 大家都发抖 ?
? Raining hot fire! ?
查尔斯不是饶舌啊一直都不是
Charles, it's not a rap. It never was.
这里的各位都是职场正经人
Everyone's professional here.
我们之前商定好的歌♥词也不是这样
Not the lyrics we discussed either.
总而言之长官我觉得我很适合这行动队
Anyways, sir, I really think that I deserve this task force.
我的破案率位列全纽约警♥察♥中的2%
My clearance rate puts me in the top 2% of all NYPD det--
帕拉塔我很清楚你的履历
I am aware of your qualifications, Peralta,
但我只有一个推荐进
but I'm only allowed to recommend one name
特战行协战响城紧调急行队的名额
for the S.T.O.A.S.R.C.E.I.U.E.O.
你完全不觉得这缩写太冗长吗
And you don't think the acronym's just a little clunky?
不会啊挺朗朗上口
Oh, no, it's quite catchy.
我真心觉得我很适合加入
Look, I really feel like I've got what it takes.
我经验丰富我认真努力
I'm experienced, I'm hardworking,
我泰山崩于前而...
and I'm unflappable in the face of--
我个大操什么鬼啊
Oh, my God! What was that?
斯卡利你受伤了吗
Scully, are you hurt?
-那是血吗 -是亮粉
- Is that blood? - It's glitter.
杰克桌上有个盒子
There was a box on Jake's desk.
我打开来然后就炸了
I opened it, and it just exploded.
我的脸都没知觉了
I can't feel my face.
我不是想吐槽啊
And, not to be rude,
但你平常对脸是有知觉的吗
but is that something you can normally feel?
你说得对那我应该没事
Oh, right. I guess I'm fine.
杰弗兹疏散警局
Jeffords, evacuate the precinct.
-我去联♥系♥拆弹小组 -别别别先等等
- I'll contact the bomb squad. - No, no, no, no, no, wait.
我觉得这事情很有可能
I think this actually might have been
只是恶作剧出了差错
a prank that malfunctioned.
你看这盒子连接着
Look, the box was connected to a tank
桌子底下的一罐压缩空气
of compressed air under the desk.
本来应该是对打开包裹的人喷出亮粉
It was supposed to shoot glitter at whoever opened it,
但肯定是有东西堵住喷射阀了
but something must have clogged the pressure release valve,
然后压缩空气罐就炸了
and the tank exploded.
没有人受伤真是不幸中的大幸
The silver lining is no one got hurt.
而不幸中的不幸就是这恶作剧
And the lead lining is that this prank
给警局造成了严重的财物破坏
caused significant property damage in the precinct.
的确不过我们本来就经常在弄破玻璃啊
Fair point, but we do shatter a lot of glass around here.
不是罗莎对网络心理测验答案不满意...
Either it's Rosa who's disappointed in her Buzzfeed results...
我才不是《黄金女郎》里的布兰切
I am not a Blanche.
或者查尔斯想玩兄弟会哏...
Or Charles trying to bro out...
开球反应要快啊兄弟
Hut, think fast, dude.
就是泰瑞轻轻关上窗
Or just Terry gently shutting a window
但是忘了自己有多强壮
and forgetting how strong he is.
看案件证据被损毁了
And look at this. Evidence was compromised.
糟糕迪卡布街谋杀案的衣服
Oh no, the shirt from the Dekalb Street murder.
这是我们手里唯一拥有的铁证
That's the only hard evidence we have.
我们找到的证据太少格林助理检察官本来就在不爽
ADA Green's already mad we didn't find anything else.
帕拉塔为什么证物在你桌上
Why is this on your desk, Peralta?
要上庭我先借出来了但霍华德警员
I logged it out for trial, but Officer Howard
才是把东西从证物柜中拿出来的人
is the one who got it from the evidence locker.
要怪就怪他他这人总不安好心
Let's blame him. He's always up to no good.
什么你都不认识我
What? You don't even know me.
-我当然认识你 -那我姓什么
- Yes, I do. - Then what's my last name?
不是姓霍华德吗
I thought it was Howard.
布斯我的全名是霍华德·布斯
It's Booth. My name is Howard Booth.
好吧行不过我告诉你
Okay, fine, but just so you know,
这次的对话我唯一会记得的
the only thing I'm gonna remember from this interaction
就是你拆我台所以...
is that you put me on the spot, so...
长官我知道这事很重要
Sir, I know this is important,
但我有事得先走一步
but I kinda gotta go.
我两个女儿的直笛演奏会
Cagney and Lacey's recorder concert's
再一个小时就要开始了我答应过她们会...
in an hour and I promised that I--
罪魁祸首被揪出来之前谁都不许走
No one leaves until the culprit is brought to justice.
她们要吹《上城放克》呢
But they're playing "Uptown Funk."
哪怕她们是要吹真正的音乐我也不能放行
I wouldn't care if they were playing actual music.
凶手很明显是
Whoever did this was obviously
帕拉塔最近整过的人回来报仇了
someone Peralta pranked seeking revenge.
他最近整过谁
Who are his recent victims?
抱歉啊但我可是整人♥大♥将军
I'm sorry, but I'm the Prankmaster General
我对待这工作可是很上心
and I take that role very seriously.
快看这里有个字条
Look at this. There's a note.
写道"整到你啦宝贝" 绝对是艾米
It says, "Gotcha back, babe." It was Amy.
还有谁会叫杰克"宝贝"啊
Who else would call Jake "Babe"?
查尔斯曾有长达一年时间
Charles went through that year-long phase
叫所有人"宝贝"
where he called everybody "Babe."
-嗯哼 -我有点忘了
- Uh-huh. - I forget.
你们喜欢我那么叫吗
Did you guys like that?
不喜欢
No.
我还是觉得是艾米
I still think it was Amy.
我很明显是被人栽赃好吗
Obviously I'm being framed,
估计是被那个正一直指控我的人吧
probably by whomever keeps accusing me.
还没有人问出最显而易见的那个问题
No one's asking the obvious question.
为什么斯卡利要去拆帕拉塔的包裹
Why did Scully open a package on Peralta's desk?
或许是他要去设局
Perhaps he was setting up the prank,
然后最后引火自焚
and it blew up in his face.
不是的我看到一个盒子我就想着...
No, I just saw a box and I thought,
"饼干都是装在盒子里的"
"Oh, cookies come in boxes."
我猜凶手不是我们警队里的人
I bet it wasn't anyone in this squad.
你这话明显就是有罪的人才会那么说
That's exactly what a guilty person would say.
所以为了证明我的清白
So in order to prove my innocence,
我得开始指证其他人吗
I just need to start pointing fingers?
-行吧是艾米 -你不是吧
- Fine, it was Amy. - Really?
"宝贝"这条线索简直是在吼你名字啊查尔斯
Because the "Babe" thing screams you, Charles.
你想听吼名字是吗是艾米
Oh, you wanna hear screaming? It was Amy!
谁快点招供吧
Somebody confess!
现在这是什么情况呢
What do we have here?
貌似有人犯下了案子
It appears a crime has been committed,
而没有人愿意招供
and no one will confess.
-学德国口音吗 -是比利时口音
- Doing a German accent? - I was going for Belgian,
就像《东方快车谋杀案》里一样
Like in "Murder on the Orient Express."
你听起来像个纳粹
You sound like a Nazi.
够了这听上去可不好
Okay, not a great note to hear.
我就用我普通的声音吧
I'll just use my normal voice.
重点是有人犯下了罪
The point is a crime has been committed,
而凶手就是在座的其中一人
and someone in this room did it.
这里有七名拥有作案机会与动机的嫌疑人
There are seven suspects all with means and motive.
我们面对的就是经典的"谁干它"情境
It appears what we have is a classic whodunit.