神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E01

Part 4 April 2, 2020, 11:34 a.m.

少不了你的帮助警员
With your help, officer!
如果没有你我肯定搞不定
I really couldn't have done it without you.
不都是你的功劳
No, this was all you.
我们之前去了完全错误的位置
We were in a completely wrong location.
对我来说真是松了口气
Which was a huge relief to me.
而且我们还走了很多步数
Plus, we got a lot of steps in.
我收到太多来自好友的击脚了
I'm drowning in foot-fives.
不需要纠结谁当时在哪里
Well, no need to focus on who was where
或者什么是击脚
or what a foot-five is,
想想我们应该为明天的头条
we gotta start brainstorming headlines
取个什么标题呢
for tomorrow's paper.
我想到一个
I got one.
《城市里唯一的杀手就是杰克·帕拉塔
"The Only Assassin in this City is Jake Peralta
因为他完美除掉了这个案子》
Because He Just Killed This Case."
我感觉我们还是不要把这事情
I don't know if we want to make it seem
弄得像我才是暗♥杀♥枪手
like I'm the assassin.
你说得对
Yeah, good thinking.
这个怎么样《英雄警探拯救城市
How about this, "Hero Cop Saves City,"
"皮特克鲁尼都争取在传记片中扮演他》
"Pitt, Clooney Circling To Play Him In Biopic."
-都是猛♥男♥ -我有个标题
- Hunks! - I have a headline.
《皮特克鲁尼一起嘲笑杰克·帕拉塔
"Pitt, Clooney Laugh At Jake Peralta
因为他抓错了人》
For Arresting the Wrong Man."
他们应该不会嘲笑我吧因为我拯救了...
Well, I don't know if they would laugh at me for saving...
你刚刚是说我抓错人了吗
what, did you just say I got the wrong man?
你说我抓错人是什么意思
What do you mean we got the wrong man?
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
你不是故意把我跟黛比支开
You know how you sent Debbie and me off
-为了让我们白忙一场吗 -被你发现了
- on a wild goose chase? - Oh, so you figured that out?
是黛比发现的她的探案功夫很不错
Well, Debbie did. She's quite the detective.
我真的不是
Oh, I'm really not.
只不过是因为我太常接到没用的任务啦
I'm just always being given meaningless tasks
我对此也完全没有怨言
and I'm not complaining.
怎么你现在说我们抓错人
So what, you're just saying we have the wrong guy now,
是因为你不爽我们给你假线索吗
because you're upset about the fake lead?
我说你抓错了人是因为你真的错了
No, I'm saying you have the wrong guy because you do.
当我意识到你的线索完全是胡说八道时
When I realized your lead was nothing but hooey,
我打算回头重审热狗男但他不见了
I went back to re-interview the hot dog man, but he was gone.
那是为什么呢黛比告诉他们
And why was that? Debbie, tell 'em!
不我不想参与进来
Oh, no, I don't want to be a part of this.
因为热狗男才是暗♥杀♥凶手
Because the hot dog man is the shooter.
什么这听起来也太牵强了
What? That seems like a reach.
有时候牵强也会牵出真♥相♥
Sometimes, when you reach, you grab the truth.
抱歉杰克他说服我了
Sorry, Jake, he turned it around on me.
你不是吧
Come on!
热狗男给了我们假口供
The hot dog man gave a false statement
误导我们
to throw us off the scent
然后趁我们抓错人的时候消失
and then vanished while we were off looking for the wrong guy.
面对现实吧你不是缉凶猎捕者
Face it, you're no Manhunter.
非要说的话你是缉凶猎错者
If anything, you're a Wrong Manhunter.
你竟敢这么说我
How dare you.
这太荒唐了
You know what? This is crazy.
你只是在找借口自圆其说
You're just making up a solve
因为你受不了自己被降职
because you can't stand the fact that you got demoted.
你一整天都在抢这个案子
You've been trying to hijack this case all day.
我只是想帮忙
I was only trying to help.
如果我这么难搞
If I'm such a headache,
你为什么不重新指派我
then why didn't you reassign me?
因为我之前同情你
Because I felt sorry for you.
我说过把我当成普通警员就好了
I told you to treat me like any uniformed officer.
你不知道怎么下命令又不是我的错
It's not my fault that you don't know how to give an order!
好我这就下
Okay, fine. Here's one.
我们要解除封锁去把锥形路障收走
We're lifting the lockdown, go pick up cones.
-我喜欢收锥形路障 -黛比不行
- Ooh, I love cone duty! - Debbie, can it!
我们抓错人了
We have the wrong guy.
你不能解除封锁
You cannot lift the lockdown.
去把锥形路障收走这是命令
Go pick up cones, that's an order.
不去
No!
好吧那你别参与这个案子了
Fine, then you're off the case!
正合我意
Good.
那我还能去移锥形路障吗
Do I still get to pick up cones?
-不 -不
- No! - No!
艾米别喝了你已经喝够多水了
Amy, stop. You've had enough water.
我都听到水在你体内晃荡了
I can hear it sloshing around inside you.
我知道但我还是尿不出来
I know, but I still can't pee!
我太紧张了
I'm too stressed.
你需要平静下来
You need to calm down.
你知道什么能让我放松吗
You know what helps me relax?
-踢东西吗 -没错
- Kicking stuff? - Absolutely.
那你是想踢东西还是踢人
So, what or who do you wanna kick?
那个人看起来挺好踢的
That guy looks pretty kickable. Hey!
我谁都不会踢的好吗
I'm not kicking anybody, okay?
我就是需要一些舒缓的声音
I just need, like, some calming noises.
好闭上眼睛
Okay, close your eyes.
好
Okay.
哗啦哗啦哗啦
Glub, glub, glub.
这是什么声音
What is that?
潺潺的流水声
It's a babbling brook.
哗啦哗啦哗啦
Glub, glub, glub.
你别说还真有用
You know what? It's pretty good.
谢谢大家都闭嘴
Thank you. Everybody, shut up!
哗啦哗啦哗啦哗啦哗啦哗啦
Glub, glub, glub, glub, glub, glub.
这个棚里为什么这么安静
Why is the tent so quiet?
是因为大家都在谈论我吗
Is everybody talking about me now?
没人谈论你
Nobody is talking about you.
我信你个鬼
Sure.
泰瑞一进帐篷
Terry walks into a tent
所有人都不约而同地不说话了吗
and everybody just happens to stop talking at the same damn time?
你们就像我女儿们一样耍我
You are gaslighting me just like my daughters!
泰瑞我觉得你太敏感了
Terry, I think you're being paranoid.
我不敏感
I'm not paranoid!
我在我女儿们的房♥间里放了一个录音设备
I put a recording device in my girls' room.
你在你女儿们的房♥里放了窃听器吗
You planted a bug in your daughters' room?
非常时刻只能用非常手段
I do what I have to do.
她们说我像个巨大的三角形
They said I look like a giant triangle!
-这算羞辱吗 -我不知道
- Is that an insult? - I don't know!
但她们笑得就像在羞辱我
But they were laughing like it was,
让我一样受伤
and it hurt just the same!
别生小孩
Don't have kids!
我的尿意全毁了
Well, that ruined everything.
我知道我们被踢出这个案子了
I know we got kicked off the case,
但是有好消息
but there is good news.
我为我的足迹个人秀解锁了新的配件
I unlocked a new accessory for my Foot Friend avatar:
一双凉鞋
a sandal!
黛比等一下计划有变
Debbie, wait. Change of plans.
我们不回分局了
We're not going back to the precinct.
我们要自作主张去移锥形路障吗
Are we gonna go rogue and pick up cones?
我们要做的主张可比移锥形路障大多了
Oh, we're going way more rogue than picking up cones.
听着暗♥杀♥枪手不可能有自己的热狗摊...
Listen, it's unlikely our shooter had his own hot dog cart...
他的热狗摊从哪得到的呢
where'd he get it from?
拜托别让我帮你这件事
Please don't make me help you with this.
我猜是在小吃车仓库
My guess is the food cart garage
离犯罪现场只有两个街区
just two blocks away from our crime scene,
或者说是238步
or, shall I say, 238 steps.
别用步数引诱我
Don't tempt me with steps.
这对你来说是决定性的时刻
This is a defining moment for you.
你可以选择一生都服从命令
You can either obey orders for the rest of your life
不对世界产生任何影响或者选择站起来
and make no impact on the world, or stand up!
跟我一起解决这个案子
And solve this case with me.
还有第三个选项吗
Is there a third option?
-紧张地跟在我后面 -很好
- Nervously tag along. - Great.