神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E06

Part 2 April 2, 2020, 11:36 a.m.

我摸黑找地方躲起来时打破了几盏灯
I broke several lamps while trying to hide in the dark.
好了现在开灯
Now, turn on the lights.
好
Okay.
你好是我
Hello... it's me.
把酒放下
Put down the drinks.
为什么你不开心吗
Why? Are you upset?
没错现在我得扳倒辛迪加
Yeah, and now I have to take The Syndicate down.
妈呀好辣
Oh, my goodness.
我先问清楚 "扳倒辛迪加"
To be clear, by "Take down The Syndicate,"
你是指我们要滚...
you mean we're gonna have--
-我们要滚床单没错 -好
- We're gonna have sex, yeah. - Okay.
就是这么回事把衣服脱♥光♥
Yeah, absolutely. Take your clothes off.
博伊尔那是什么
Boyle, what are those?
我的豚鼠这位女士叫克莱尔
My guinea pigs. This lady is Claire.
这只公的也叫克莱尔
And this guy is also named Claire.
你不能带宠物来这里可是警局啊
You can't have pets in here. This is a police precinct.
我知道对不起
I know, I'm sorry.
这是我买♥♥来送给尼克拉吉的生日礼物
I got them for Nikolaj's birthday,
没想到他过敏
but it turns out he's allergic
宠物店又不肯让我退回去
and the pet store won't take them back.
我有个朋友在实验室工作
I've got a friend who works in a lab.
我可以问问他他们做研究
I can call and see if they need
需不需要用到豚鼠
any guinea pigs for their research.
它们可不是科学实验品
They are not science experiments!
它们是活生生的小动物
They are living creatures
有着丰富的内心世界
with rich inner lives.
克莱尔二号♥像只甲虫一样四脚朝天翻不过身
Claire number two is stuck on his back like a bug.
我来解决
Oh, I'll handle this.
翻转翻转
Flip! Flip!
我翻错了另外一只克莱尔
Oh, I flipped the wrong Claire.
别再翻转豚鼠了
Stop flipping guinea pigs
快把它们带走
and get them out of here!
我来让它们消失警督
I'll make 'em disappear, Lieutenant.
别杀它们啊
Oh! Don't kill them.
它们还要享受多姿多彩的生活
They have so much to live for.
它们还没去过曼哈顿呢
They haven't even been to Manhattan yet.
好了警报解除
Okay, coast is clear.
我知道一个安全的地方可以先藏在那儿
I know a safe place we can hide these guys
直到我们帮它们找到家
until we can find homes for them.
你不是要杀死它们吗
You're not going to murder them?
当然不是我很喜欢小动物
Hell no. I love animals.
我们队里数我心肠最软
I'm the mushy one on the squad.
当然当然
Right, of course.
就是这里 K储物间
Here it is. Supply closet K.
里面放满了心脏复苏训练用的假婴儿
It's full of CPR training babies.
没人会进来因为这里太诡异了
No one goes in there because it's too creepy.
我的天啊
Oh my God.
太完美啦
It's perfect.
我也不想把功劳都归到我身上啦
Well, I don't want to take all the credit,
但我很肯定用杰克式方法♥会♥成功的
but I'm pretty sure doing it The Jake Way worked
我们一定会怀上
and we're getting pregnant.
真是那样就太好了但是
That would be incredible, but
你这样说我们之后可能会失望的
feels like you're setting us up for disappointment.
不我只是抱持乐观心态
No, I'm just being optimistic.
你超棒我们超棒
You're amazing, we're amazing,
这次绝对会成功怀上的
and it definitely worked.
-没怀上 -可恶
- It didn't work. - Ugh!
我就知道我长了一对劣质蛋蛋
I knew it. I got bum nards!
-杰克 -对哦得保持乐观
- Jake! - Right, gotta stay optimistic.
我们一定能做到
We can do this!
你感觉怎么样
So how are you feeling?
我很失望但...
Well, I'm pretty bummed, but--
艾米你能张开嘴一下吗
Amy, could you open your mouth for me?
-什么不要 -算了我已经看到了
- What? No. - Forget it, I just saw.
她所有牙齿齐全
She's got all her teeth...
连后面的牙都不缺
Even the back ones.
那两个逗逼让你心情好些了吗
Did that turn your mood around?
没有但没关系
Nope. But it's okay.
我已经想到如何能成功怀上了
I figured out how we're gonna get pregnant.
通过双倍押注杰克式方法吗
By doubling down on The Jake Way?
你说我们能不能租到电影《狙击电♥话♥亭》里
Ooh, do you think we could rent the phone booth
那个电♥话♥亭呢
from the movie "Phone Booth"?
不从今天起我们要改用艾米式方法
No, from now on, we're gonna do it The Amy Way.
那是不是意味着我们又要重拾
Does that mean we're going back to
-过度计划何时滚床单那套 -不是
- the overly scheduled sex thing? - No.
我们要比之前计划得更精确
We're going way more scheduled.
那就是更索然无趣了
Ah, so even less fun.
细致到分秒
Big time.
这如同一场考试我们快不及格了
This is a test, and we're failing.
因为我们学习不够努力
Because we're not studying hard enough.
或许这是那种
Or maybe this is just
不能靠恶补来取得好成绩的考试
one of those tests you can't study for?
好吧你这是全新的鄙视笑声
Oh, wow, that's a new laugh.
走吧我们去买♥♥活页夹
Come on. We're going binder shopping.
我又要去巡逻了
I'm off to walk my beat again,
就像西西弗斯一样
much like Sisyphus,
被惩罚日以继夜地
condemned to push the same boulder
推同一块巨石上同一座山
up the same hill day in and day out.
据法国哲学家阿尔贝·加缪说
You know, according to French Philosopher Albert Camus,
西西弗斯在那荒诞的重复动作中获得了快乐
Sisyphus achieved happiness in that absurd repetition.
卢梭之后的法国哲学本质上浅薄如杂♥志♥
Any French philosophy post-Rousseau is essentially a magazine.
你个土包子
You rube.
博伊尔
Oh, hey, Boyle!
你有六街的案卷吗
Do you have the 6th Street case file--
等等那是什么
Wait. What's that?
这个吗是我的...水壶
Uh, this? It's... my water bottle.
看起来像豚鼠笼子里的饮水器
It looks like a water bottle from a guinea pig cage.
没错我本来买♥♥给豚鼠用的
True, I got it for the guinea pigs,
但它们已经不在这里啦
but they're not here anymore.
所以我决定环保一点给自己用
So I decided to be green and use it for myself.
解渴了
Ah! Thirst quenched.
怎么这么久才来
What took you so long?
我差点被泰瑞抓到了
Terry almost caught me.
我不得不喝了豚鼠水瓶里的水来掩饰
I had to drink from the guinea pigs' water bottle.
神奇的是他...
Amazingly, he--
完全相信你做得出这种荒谬事
Totally bought you'd do that?
我丝毫不感到意外
Yeah, I'm not surprised at all.
好消息
Good news.
我外甥女愿意接收两只克莱尔
My niece will take the two Claires.
她想拿来当宠物养
She wants them as pets.
太棒了好
That is great! Okay.
现在只剩下十只豚鼠要找到家
Now we just need to find a home for ten more.
十只
Ten?
公克莱尔把母克莱尔肚子搞大了
Boy Claire got girl Claire pregnant
生了一窝小克莱尔宝宝
and made a bunch of little baby Claires.
它们又开始搞了
Oh, they're having sex again.
克莱尔啊
Oh, Claire.
-克莱尔 -克莱尔
- Claire. - Claire.
我得说我好喜欢这条裤子
I gotta say, I'm loving these.
我一直都想穿哈伦裤试试
I always wanted to wear Hammer pants.
-别说了 -该开搞了吗
- Stop. - Hammer time?
不是别再胡闹了
No. Stop joking around.
你穿这条裤子
You're wearing those pants
是为了让你的蛋蛋远离你身体的热源
to keep your testicles away from your body's warm core
这样你的精♥子♥就不会过热
so your sperm don't overheat.
我喜欢裆下有微风吹过感觉自己像83岁
Well, I am loving the breeze. I feel like I'm 83.
好了注意力集中
All right, focus up.
这间就是我们的怀孕作战室
This is our pregnancy war room.
在主日历上
On the master calendar,
我们会记录受孕窗口期
we will track ovulation windows,