神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E11

Part 4 June 21, 2020, 10:27 a.m.

I don't have to do anything for it, do I?
只要你提出来我就做
Because I will if you ask.
我可以做任何事甚至...
I'll do anything, even...
那动作代表什么啊
What's that supposed to represent?
不需要回答总之更新大窃案进展
No one answer that. Anyhow, quick heist update.
时间只剩不到一个小时了
There's less than an hour left,
而且只剩下两支参赛队伍
and only two teams remain.
两支
Two?
我的医生说我因狗屁倒灶的事情
My doctor said I'm at a grave risk
而导致死亡的风险很高
for a shenanigan-related death,
所以我不得不退出
so I have to drop out.
这不公平我应该有个新搭档
That's not fair. I should get a new partner.
-泰瑞你想回来吗 -不想
- Terry, you want back in? - Nope.
我只想喝我的芒果探戈冰沙咕噜咕噜
I want my mango tango. Slurp, slurp.
抱歉罗莎
Sorry, Rosa,
如果这个节骨眼上你想换搭档
if you wanna switch partners this late in the game,
那新搭档的技能必须跟斯卡利一样
they have to have the same skill set as Scully.
-我可以参加 -是的或者
- I'm available. - Right, or...
那个文件柜看上去像斯卡利
That filing cabinet kind of looks like Scully.
我看到了同款平顶头
I see it. Same flat top.
但是如果真的想让换搭档公平点
But if we really wanna make this a fair switch,
貌似你应该从男洗手间重新开始
it seems like you need to start in the men's room.
-不是吧 -让大窃案重重重新开始吧
- Come on. - Let the heist re-re-begin!
好了五分钟后
Okay, in five minutes,
另外十只兔兔会通过那个门
ten other bunnies will march past this door.
我们混入其中然后拿到宝石
We'll blend in and grab the gems.
肯定万无一失
It's foolproof.
这跟我的兔兔套装计划有什么区别
How is this any different than my bunny suit plan?
有很大区别
Oh, it's very different.
我的计划里兔兔戴眼镜还穿蓝色马甲
I gave the bunnies glasses and little, blue vests.
这个马甲毫无作用
The vests add nothing.
马甲增添了一丝庄重
The vests add gravitas.
你屁♥股♥才增添了庄重
Your butt adds gravitas.
准备好
Get ready.
兔兔随时会出现
Bunnies are gonna be here at any moment.
你怎么知道这是他们的计划
How do you know this is their plan?
因为杰克告诉我了
'Cause Jake frickin' told me.
-他告诉你了吗 -对啊
- He did? - Yeah.
他跟霍特同队很心烦不出我所料
He's so frustrated with Holt-- like I knew he would be--
他一直滔滔不绝地...
that it's all he talks about...
告诉他的心理医生
In therapy.
什么
What?
事实上兔兔的马甲确实增添了庄重感
The thing is, the bunny vests do add gravitas,
但我不能跟他讲要不然他就赢了
but I can't tell him that 'cause then he wins.
对了这听起来诡异吗
Oh, hey, is it weird that
简·杰士顿[卡♥通♥人物]给了我一个...
Jane Jetson gives me a bo--
你找到一个愿意让你偷听的心理医生啊
You found a therapist that let you do that?
没有我雇了一个女演员
No, I've been paying an actress
来扮演他的心理医生已经有几个月了
to pretend to treat him for months.
不过她真的帮了他很多
She's actually helped him a lot.
是吗那你偷听的时候
Oh, did Jake ever say anything about me
杰克有提起过我吗
while you were listening?
兔兔在哪里
Where are those bunnies?
天啊那个柜子还挺重是吧
Boy, that thing's pretty heavy, huh?
他们来了穿蓝马甲的美丽兔兔们
Here they come, my beautiful, blue-vested bunnies.
我的天他们太酷了
My God, they're so cool.
你说啥
What's that?
没什么我觉得很烂
Nothing. I hate them.
-这计划八成不会成功的 -出发吧
- This probably won't even work. - Let's go.
他们来了戴上头套
It's happening. Put on your head.
我很乐意
Oh, with pleasure.
我喜欢沉浸在角色中
I love disappearing into a role.
我是阿盖尔·詹姆斯·霍福德一只单身兔兔
I'm Argyle James Hopford, a bachelor bunny
身上背负着跟一只当地鹅的桃色丑闻
who's carrying out a scandalous affair with a local goose.
闭嘴吧你赶紧戴上头套
Shut up and put on your damn head!
你们好兔兔
Hello, bunnies.
好了淡定点然后融入进去
Okay, just be cool and blend in.
杰克那些兔兔是谁
Jake, who are those bunnies?
一定是艾米和查尔斯
It must be Amy and Charles.
他们发现我们了赶紧走
They see us. Let's go.
交出来比尔交出来
Give it up, Bill! Give it up!
快点霍特动起来
Come on, Holt, move your ass.
不行我没法用毛绒绒的手打开腰包
No, I can't unclasp the fanny pack with these furry hands.
你打到我了杰克
You're hitting me, Jake.
我什么也看不见我们穿得都一样
I can't see anything, and we're all dressed the same.
-罗莎来了 -比尔要逃走了
- Uh-oh, Rosa's coming. - And Bill's getting away.
不会我抓住他脚踝了
Nope, I got his ankle.
放开我放开我
Get off me! Get off me!
有人拿走了腰包
Someone got the fanny pack!
他们朝屋顶过去了
They're headed for the roof!
冲冲冲冲冲
Go, go, go, go, go.
-他们还没完啊 -那个是泰瑞吗
- This is still going on? - Was it Terry?
不不是我
Nope. Wasn't me.
等等如果你是泰瑞
Wait, if you're Terry,
那刚才那个肯定是...
then that must be...
罗莎
还好吗废物们
What's up, losers?
太棒了
Yes!
-罗莎那简直赞爆了 -才不是赞爆了
- Rosa, that was amazing. - It was not amazing.
她没有跟她的搭档铐在一起
She didn't stay handcuffed to her partner.
她不符合资格
She's disqualified.
我们下个节日时重新举办一次
We'll reset and start over on the next holiday.
地球日地球日大窃案
Earth day--an Earth day heist.
-简直完美 -错
- It's perfect. - Wrong.
规则是我不能擅自解开手铐
Rules said I couldn't undo the cuffs,
但我并没有自己解开
and I didn't.
这不公平我之前不知道我可以砍掉帕拉塔的手啊
Oh, not fair. I didn't know I could cut off Peralta's hand.
我会把这条列进明年的规则里
I'll file that away for next year.
我觉得手铐这玩法玩一年就够了
Actually, I think we're one and done on the whole handcuff concept.
这简直太了不起了你怎么做到的罗莎
This is incredible. How'd you do it, Rosa?
万圣节的时候
Well, back on Halloween,
我就知道杰克会最先行动于是我必须做好准备
I knew Jake would make the first move, and I had to be ready.
你当时躲在烟雾里
You were hiding in the fog.
把椅子拦在我路线上的不是霍特
It wasn't Holt that put that chair in my pathway.
不确实是我
No, I did.
我希望自己能成为我们胜利的大功臣
I wanted to be the one who was responsible for our victory.
-什么 -我们本来就已经输了
- What? - We already lost.
没必要继续保持同队员间的团结友爱了
There's no point in trying to maintain team morale now.
混♥蛋♥
Dick.
总之我知道切达肯定会出现的
Anyway, I knew Cheddar would be making an appearance.
大家都超爱看到切达
Oh, everyone loves to see Cheddar.
它经常来警局我从不把阿洛带来
He's here a lot. I never bring in Arlo.
-谁 -瞧吧
- Who? - Exactly.
我过去的一整年每天早上
I spent every morning for the last year
都给切达吃一块火腿
giving Cheddar a taste for ham.
所以它才会长那么胖
Oh, so that's why he got so thick
最后上了"微胖萌犬"
and ended up on "Chonky Pups."
是我去投稿他的照片的
I submitted his photo.
你让切达开始节食后我需要做的
And once you put Cheddar on a diet, all I had to do
只是让宝石沾上一点火腿的香味而已
was mark the gems with a little of that sweet ham taste.
你为什么希望切达把宝石吞下去
Why did you want Cheddar to swallow the gems?
因为我需要推迟一些事
Because I needed to delay things.
我计划的第二部分是要在情人节当天发生
The second part of my plan took place on Valentine's Day,
进行得非常完美
which went perfectly.
算不上完美吧斯卡利把那些宝石吞下去了
Ah, I wouldn't say perfectly. Scully swallowed the gems.
是我诱骗他吞下去的那并不难
'Cause I tricked him into it. Wasn't hard.
几乎原样复♥制♥针对切达的火腿招数就行
Pretty much used the same Cheddar ham playbook.
桌上火腿啊
Table ham.
连续吃了七天
Seven days in a row.
现在我再发现无主的食物吃之前还得三思了
So now I have to think twice before I eat food i find lying around.
谢你十八辈祖宗
Thanks a lot.