神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E07

Part 5 April 2, 2020, 11:36 a.m.

就是啊什么
Yeah, what?
我知道斯芭婆憋了最后一个大招
I knew Wuntch had one final trick up her sleeve.
但我根本不知道是什么
I didn't know what it was,
于是我只能准备好应对一切的可能
so I had to be prepared for anything.
这整个活动都是假的
This whole thing was staged.
这些人都不是真正来吊丧的
None of these people are real mourners.
他们甚至都不是纽约警局的
They're not even in the NYPD.
-你雇了演员吗 -比这更差劲
- You hired actors? - Worse.
他们是本地即兴表演团的成员
They're members of local improv troupes,
他们这么做是为了"曝光量"
and they did it for "The exposure."
这非常精彩
This has been a blast,
但我们得去自♥由♥塔参加一个快闪活动
but we have to go start a flash mob at the Freedom Tower.
记得看我们的油管频道哦
Oh, check out our YouTube channel.
不行坐下
No. Sit down.
我不得不佩服你亚当
I have to hand it to you, Adam.
你差点就骗到我了
You almost fooled me,
但任何男人都不可能拥有
but no other man could possibly
我和斯芭婆之间那种等级的对决
have what Wuntch and I had.
我们是命中注定的... 仇敌
We were star-crossed haters.
随便吧
Whatever.
-我帮她干这事就能得到她一半的财产 -棒
- I still inherit half her estate just for trying this. - Cool.
那"儿童噩梦"遗产的另一半归谁啊
Who gets the other half of every child's nightmares?
我喜欢罗莎你今天一天都表现很出色
I love it, Rosa. Great work all day.
在拳击比赛之后二位感觉如何啊
So how are you two feeling after your little boxing match?
-我的头好疼 -我感觉不到我的"草莓"了
- My head hurts. - I can't feel my strawberries.
我指的是情感上的不是身体上的
I meant more emotionally and less groinally,
但是听着自从我提起这些票的事后
but listen, ever since I brought these tickets up,
你们就让我的生活变得凄惨无比
you guys have made my life absolutely miserable,
但那到此为止因为我已经做出选择了
but that ends now, because I've made a choice.
卡格妮病了我们不知道她还能活多久
Cagney is sick. We don't know how long she has.
但我们知道尼克拉吉能活多久就36小时了
We do know for Nikolaj. It's 36 hours.
都给我打住好吗别再撒谎了
Just stop, all right? Stop lying.
正是你们的这种行为让我决定
This is exactly the type of behavior that has led me to decide
我不会带你们任何一个去
that I'm not taking either of you.
不是吧你老天
Seriously? Oh, man.
那些孩子一定会失望透顶的
The kids are gonna be so disappointed.
不他们不会的因为他们可以去
No, they won't, because they're going.
没错我会亲自带他们三个过去
That's right, I'm bringing all three of them by myself
你们两个没机会去
and you two don't get to go.
你们幼稚的行为让你们错失了
Your childish behavior has led you to miss out
本周六在纽约参加最令人激动的
on the most exciting movie premiere event
电影首映礼活动的机会
in the state of New York this Saturday.
希望你们学到教训了
I hope you've learned your lesson.
再见
Good day.
等等他要替我们把孩子带去吗
Wait. He's taking the kids for us?
那简直像得到了一个免费保姆
It's just like getting a free babysitter.
这简直太棒了
This is incredible.
没有孩子的人可真蠢
People without kids are so stupid.
-他们会摧毁他的 -是啊
- They're gonna destroy him. - Yeah.
确认清楚一下
So just to be clear,
这场追悼会是真的对吧
this service is actually real, right?
是的
Oh, yes.
我想着如果我需要两场假追悼会
I figured if I needed two fake memorials
才能诈出斯芭婆的计划
to smoke out Wuntch's plan,
那她理应获胜
she deserved to win,
但赢的人不是她是我
but she didn't win. I did.
终于打败那个死八婆了
Finally beat the old fishwife.
真是太疯狂了
It's crazy.
今天过后
After today
你永远不需要再提防梅德琳·斯芭婆了
you never have to think about Madeline Wuntch again.
是啊或许你说得对
Yes, I suppose you're right.
那让你伤心吗
Sir, does that make you sad?
我不知道
I don't know.
我觉得或许...
I think maybe...
是吧
Yes?
我觉得对她的死感到有些失落也很正常
Well, I think it's natural to feel a little down about her death.
过去的20年你们的人生都交缠在一起
For the last 20 years, your lives have been entangled.
被她干枯毛躁的头发缠住了
Because of her ratty hair.
不感觉不一样了
No, it's not the same.
现在感觉像是我在侮辱一个无助的死人
Now it just feels like I'm insulting a helpless dead person.
你就是啊
You are.
你这一整周都这样
It's what you've been doing all week.
是啊让人受不了
Yeah, it's been tight.
该我上去致辞了
Well, it's time for my speech.
你打算说些什么
Sir, what are you gonna say?
我不知道
I don't know.
或许我就实话实说吧
Maybe I'll just be honest.
他刚刚是说有话直说吗
Did he say he was gonna be honest?
是啊场面一定会很难堪
Yeah, this is gonna be bad.
你们当中很多人都知道
As many of you know,
梅德琳和我是宿敌
Madeline and I were bitter rivals,
但我开始意识到
but I've come to realize
她在我的人生中占据一个特别的位置
she held a special place in my life.
没人像她生前那样跟我对着干
No one challenged me like she did
或让我觉得如此充满活力
or made me feel as alive.
我们的关系就像一场惊世的象棋大战
Our relationship was like an epic chess match.
真的很难相信...
And it's hard to believe that...
她永远无法再下下一步棋了
She'll never make another move.
除非...
Unless...
不就是个通知而已
No, it's just a notification.
切达的狗用牙膏发货了
Cheddar's doggy toothpaste has shipped.
她已离我们而去
So she is gone,
我希望她还活在这世上
and I wish she were not.
我会想你的梅德琳·斯芭婆
I will miss you, Madeline Wuntch.
瓦里奥你为什么要这样啊
Wario, why are you like this?
不知道你注意到没有
So I don't know if you noticed,
自从我开始接受荷尔蒙治疗后...
but ever since I started those hormone treatments--
我什么都没注意到
I didn't notice anything.
你这回答也太快了吧
You said that way too quick.
你之前看那个汽车广♥告♥时确实哭了
I mean, you did cry at that one car commercial
那甚至都不是个煽情的广♥告♥
and it wasn't even an emotional one.
-只是关于荷载能力的广♥告♥而已 -是啊
- It was about towing capacity. - Yeah.
我联♥系♥了一下医生
Well, I called the doctor
想搞清楚那是不是常见的副作用
to see if that was a common side effect
但显然不是
and apparently, it isn't.
不要啊
Oh, no.
-没什么事吧 -没事
- Is everything okay? - Yeah.
她对于原因倒是有个猜测
She did have one guess as to what might be causing it.
她猜对了
And, um, she was right.
宝贝我们是要有孩子了吗
Babes, are we having a baby?
我们要有孩子了
We're having a baby.
成真了
It happened!