神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E07

Part 4 April 2, 2020, 11:36 a.m.

跟电影《修女也疯狂》一样
"Sister Act."
我衣服完全湿透了
I sweat through my clothes
这是我在衣橱深处找到的别太挑
and I found this in the back of a closet, okay?
-忍♥着吧 -你看起来很美
- Deal with it. - You look great.
他来了长官在这里
Oh, there he is. Sir, over here.
你去哪儿了
Where are you?
你怎么拿着刻薄吼叫演讲稿
Why are you holding the mean yelling speech?
因为我要刻薄地吼出来
Because I'm gonna yell it, meanly.
我浪费了半辈子恨那个两副嘴脸的老太婆
I wasted half my life hating that duplicitous hag,
她甚至连用同样恨意
and she didn't even have the decency
回报我的礼节都没有
to truly hate me back.
那就去她的了
Well, screw her.
我要毁了她的追悼会
I'm gonna ruin her memorial.
不行你不能这么做
No, you can't do that.
如果你读了那篇演讲稿你会被开除的
If you read that speech, you'll be fired.
你说得对
You're right.
我的事业会被毁掉
And that would ruin my career.
那也值了
And it's worth it.
我就要上台读出来
I'm giving the speech.
不行那才是斯芭婆想要的结果
No, that's what Wuntch wanted.
你这样就是让她赢了
You're letting her win.
汗流浃背的艾米是对的
Sweaty Amy's right.
如果你真的想报复他
If you really wanna get back at her,
你就去和亚当组队
you'll team up with Adam
为她办一场体面的追悼会
and give her a nice funeral.
就像《德雷尔一家: 科孚岛》的情节
It's like " The Durrells of Corfu"
当普鲁登斯和路易莎加入了军队
when Prudence and Louisa joined forces--
是为了把书商约戈的帆船砸沉
To sink the catamaran of the bookseller Yorgos
因为那个人之前冤枉了他们太对了
who wronged them both. Yes!
我要和亚当组队
I will team up with Adam.
有那么一刻
For a moment there,
我都快忘了真正的恶人是谁
I almost forgot who the real villain was.
是那个最近死去的女人
The woman who recently died.
查尔斯你怎么让泰瑞选了拳击比赛
Charles, why did you let Terry choose boxing?
不是他选的是我选的
He didn't. I picked it.
-但你会死的啊 -不用担心
- But you'll die. - Don't worry about it.
拳击流淌在我的血液里
Boxing's in my blood.
我奶奶以前在海军打拳击
My Nana Boyle boxed in the Navy.
我相信她打过但是听我说
I'm sure she did but-- and hear me out--
万一你没有像你奶奶那么强壮呢
what if you're not as strong as your Nana Boyle?
我自己能应付
I can handle myself.
她教过我她的招牌动作
She taught me her signature punch;
草莓篮攻击
the Strawberry Basket.
这并不能让我放心
That does not reassure me.
你好啊大块头
Hey there, big guy.
结束查尔斯的生命你真的没问题吗
You sure you're feeling okay about ending Charles' life?
是的我女儿一定会看到这部电影
Yep, my girls are gonna see this movie.
好的在你犯杀人罪之前
Right, well, before you commit manslaughter,
我感觉自己有必要告诉你
I do feel compelled to tell you that the movie
那部电影在烂番茄评分网上只有38分
only has a 38 on Rotten Tomatoes.
杰克不要再啰嗦了让他们开打吧
Jake, stop yapping and let them fight.
我想看大块头把小个子的头打下来
I wanna see the big guy pop the little guy's head off.
没错快点开打吧
Yeah, let's start the fight!
我想把小个子的头打下来
I wanna pop that little guy's head off!
显然你才是小个子
You're clearly the little guy.
杰克你可真会说笑
Good one, Jake.
好吧真的要开始了
All right. I guess this is happening.
互击拳套
Touch gloves.
查尔斯很高兴能做你的朋友
Charles, it's been very nice being your friend.
泰瑞我会去监狱看你的
Terry, I'll visit you in prison.
那就..
And...
-开打 -草莓篮攻击
- Fight. - Strawberry basket!
你惹了"奶奶"
You mess with Grandma,
就尝尝篮子的滋味
you're gonna get the basket!
查尔斯你打了他的蛋蛋
Charles, you punched him in the nards.
是啊奶奶打得很狂野
Yeah, Nana fought nasty.
如果你不介意我想要那几张电影票
Now if you don't mind, I'd like those tickets.
我可没听到结束铃响起来
I didn't hear no bell!
杰克我想电影票应该归我了
Jake, I think those tickets are mine.
草莓篮攻击
Strawberry basket!
你们俩快停下
Guys, stop!
这只是一部关于小蛋糕的电影
It's a movie about cupcakes!
-你不明白 -你又没有小孩
- You don't understand! - You don't have kids!
如果真用了原来的演讲稿就精彩了
Wow, that speech would have been amazing.
我还去查了一下厕所鬼是什么
I had to look up what a toilet ghost was.
是的我之前去韩国旅游
Uh, yes, I took a trip to Korea
就是为了寻找对斯芭婆的新骂法
just to research a new Wuntch insult.
事实上我大部分跨国旅行
In fact it's been a motivation
动力都是这个
for most of my international travel.
你俩现在是朋友了
So you guys are friends now?
是的我们之间似乎有很多共同之处
Uh, yes, it seems we have a great deal in common.
其实就一件
Well, one thing.
恨斯芭婆
Hating Wuntch.
我给他念了我写的悼词
I read him the obituary I wrote for her,
但是《时代周刊》不愿意刊登
but the "Times" wouldn't publish it.
因为淫秽的词太多了
It had too many obscenities.
我给他读了我全文大写的咆哮体讲稿
And I read him my all caps speech.
我爱死了就像一首诗
And I loved it. It was like poetry.
梅德琳闻起来就像是狗屎
Madeline smelled like dog crap.
雷蒙德说服我报复斯芭婆最好的办法
Raymond convinced me the best way to get back at Wuntch
就是确保他不会被开除
is to make sure he doesn't get fired.
而且我还要去她的墓碑上刻一根屌♥
Also I'm just gonna chisel a penis onto her headstone.
我会去现场观看
And I'm gonna watch.
各位请就座
Please take your seats.
轮到我去发表
Well, uh, time for me to go
一番催人泪下的演讲了
make a tear-jerker of a speech.
嘿我想好了到时候发墓碑屌♥照片
Hey, I thought of the best hashtag
我要带什么话题标签了
to post with my photo of the grave penis.
我不是很赞成他俩的友谊
I'm not on board with that friendship.
是的那个人有点奇怪
Yeah, there's something weird about that guy.
他说他什么时候被踢出军队的
Hey, when did he say he got kicked off the force?
-八年前 -那根本说不通
- Eight years ago. - That doesn't add up.
他说斯芭婆派他去看守感染埃博拉的医生
He said Wuntch sent him to guard the Ebola doctor.
-那不是六年前吗 -是啊
- Wasn't that six years ago? - Yeah.
天啊
Oh, my God.
斯芭婆派他来毁了霍特
Wuntch sent him to destroy Holt.
下午好
Good afternoon.
在这个悲伤的日子里
On this sad day,
对斯芭婆局长我有几句话想说
I'd like to say a few words about Commissioner Wuntch.
梅德琳闻起来像狗屎
Madeline smelled like dog crap.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
我我不知道... 还是腹泻的狗拉的
I--I don't know what-- from a sick dog.
亚当你在干什么
Adam, what are you doing?
我在给所有人展示你的本性雷蒙德·霍特
I'm showing everyone your true colors, Raymond Holt.
尽情欣赏吧各位
Enjoy the show, people!
梅德琳·斯芭婆不会这么快被遗忘的
Madeline Wuntch will not soon be forgotten.
以后几代人玩不给糖就捣蛋都会打扮成她的样子
Trick or Treaters will dress like her for generations.
迪亚兹把视频都删除
Diaz, delete all the videos.
已删除
Deleted.
-都结束了 -没错对你来说如此
- It's over. - Yeah, for you.
纽约警局的每一个人
Everyone who's anyone in NYPD
刚刚都看到了你的真面目
just saw you for your true self.
-你的事业被毁了雷雷 -你到底是谁
- Your career is ruined, Ray-Ray. - Who are you?
你为什么要干这种事
Why are you doing this?
我是梅德琳·斯芭婆的侄子
I'm Madeline Wuntch's nephew.
她派我来这里执行
She sent me here to carry out
她宏伟大计的最后一步
the final phase of her master plan,
现在一切都结束了等等你为什么在笑
and now it's all over. Wait, why are you smiling?
亚当因为这不是真正的追悼会
Because, Adam, this isn't the real memorial.
-都是计谋而已 -什么
- It's all a ruse. - What?