神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E05

Part 4 April 2, 2020, 11:35 a.m.

you're actually comprehending anything.
我就慢慢读仔细地读
I'm taking my time and reading deliberately,
俗话说得好慢工细磨稳打稳扎必将赢得比赛
and you know what they say, slow and steady wins the race.
切典型的菜鸡阅读者的屁话
Psh, classic reg-reader bullcrap.
就是你接下来要说什么
Yeah, what are you gonna say next,
说你阅读是为了放松
that you read to relax?
这个地方比那垃圾旅馆好多了对吧
This is so much better than that dump of a hotel, right?
房♥子里有六根烟囱呢
This place has six chimneys.
黛比这是谁的房♥子
Hey, Debbie, whose house is this?
是我的我拥有这个房♥子
Oh, it's mine. I own it, um,
到周一早上十一点为止
untill 11:00 A.M. On Monday.
那个时候我们必须离房♥了
We have to be out by then,
否则要再付给爱彼迎45000美元
or it's another $45,000 to Airbnb.
但是在那之前我就是有豪♥宅♥的富婆
But until then, I'm a mansion girl.
你之前说这笔钱用来付你♥爸♥爸的手术费
What happened to using the money for your father's surgery?
你说谎了吗
Was that a lie?
不是我爸病得很严重
No. My dad really is sick,
但今天早上我发现我愚蠢的哥哥德里克
but I found out this morning that my stupid brother Derek
已经付清手术费了
already paid for his surgery.
他肯定觉得自己特别伟大
He thinks he so great 'cause he's, like,
因为他是金牌律师又家庭美满
a big shot lawyer, and he has a family,
而且他还不怕鬼
and he's not afraid of ghosts.
但没想到吧这笔钱现在归我了
Well, guess what? I get to keep the cash now.
你就吃屎吧德里克活该
So take that, Derek, and, you know, put it.
♪ 她是坐拥豪♥宅♥的富婆 ♪
♪ She's a mansion girl ♪
♪ 她富有又火♥辣♥ ♪
♪ She's so rich and she's hot ♪
♪ 她是坐拥豪♥宅♥的富婆 ♪
♪ She's a mansion girl ♪
♪ 厨房♥也巨大无比 ♪
♪ With a kitchen island ♪
-有点跑调 -你还觉得黛比是好人吗
- Little pitchy. - Still think Debbie's a good person?
老实说
Not gonna lie,
病重爸爸故事的后续对我非常不利
the whole dad reveal did not help my case.
好了
All right,
我打算拿她的一次性手♥机♥打给分局
I'm gonna use her burner phone to call the Nine-Nine.
看我发现了什么你喜欢吗杰克
Look what I found. Do you like it, Jake?
当然我很喜欢
Uh, yes! I love it.
非常有坏女人库伊拉的范儿
Real Cruella de Vil vibes.
迪士尼电影《忠犬101》的反派
不对不对我不是坏女人库伊拉
No, no, no. I'm not Cruella de Vil.
我永远都不会伤害狗狗
I would never hurt dogs.
-我是帕蒂妲 -是谁
- I'm Perdita! - Who?
电影里浪漫的主角
The romantic lead of the film.
彭哥的妻子
Pongo's wife.
-那只女狗狗 -是的是的
- The girl dog. - Yes, yes!
当然你看上去就是帕蒂妲
Of course, you look exactly like Perdita.
我的天谢谢你的夸奖
Oh, my God. Thank you so much.
-黛比 -什么
- Hey Debbie? - Hm?
你可以递给我你的手♥机♥吗
Will you hand me your phone
我给你拍几张照你可以发到ins上
so I can take your picture and you can Gram this?
看这豪♥宅♥ 这貂皮大衣
I mean, the house, this coat,
你肯定想炫耀给别人看看对吧
you're gonna wanna show this off to people, right?
确实是个好主意
That is such a good idea.
我真的想炫耀给别人看看
I do wanna show off to people.
我先迅速打个电♥话♥
I just have to make a quick call.
你好呀妈妈你喜欢我的豪♥宅♥吗
Hi, Mom. Do you like my mansion?
黛博拉·琳你怎么拿着一把枪
Deborah Lyn, why are you holding a gun?
天啊妈妈我穿着貂皮大衣
Oh, my God, Mom! I'm wearing a fur coat
你视线重点却是我拿着枪
and that's what you focus on?
我真是恨死你了
I hate you so freaking much.
太荒谬了
This is ridiculous.
你们俩到现在甚至没有上过厕所
Neither of you have even taken a bathroom break.
你在开玩笑吗
Are you kidding me?
你觉得速读世界纪录保持者霍华德·伯格
Do you think world record-holder Howard Berg
会在阅读比赛中途起来去排泄吗
would stop in the middle of a read-off to expel?
-你怎么了桑迪亚哥 -我没事
- What's going on, Santiago? - It's nothing.
我翻页的手指有点擦伤
It's my guide finger. I've got paper burn.
-让我看看 -呵呵
- Let me see. - Hm.
桑迪亚哥你受伤了
Santiago, you're hurt.
不用逞强做英雄
Don't be a hero.
我去你果然火力全开啊
Damn. You must've been cooking.
-我确实是 -我们休息一下吧
- I was. - Let's take a break,
你可以手指上涂点药膏
put some ointment on that.
是啊等我回来之后
Right. And when I come back,
我的手指滑得翻不了页
my finger's slipping all over the page.
想得美我不会中你的奸计的
Nice try. I'm not falling for any of your tricks.
哦但你已经中了
Oh, but you already have.
当你在空中摇晃手指的时候
While you were waggling your finger in the air,
我一直在用我的余光偷偷阅读
I've been reading all this time out of the corner of my eye.
我靠
Damn it!
你为什么这么做黛博拉·琳
Why are you doing this, Deborah Lyn?
因为你太刻薄了妈妈
Because you're being so mean, Mom.
而且如果不把你绑起来
Also, I know that if I didn't tie you up,
你肯定要逃走去拿你的手♥机♥
you'd probably go run and find your phone
然后你就可以打给德里克
so you could call Derek.
或许我们应该打给他
Maybe we should call Derek.
他可以帮忙他是个律师
He could help. He's a lawyer.
是我知道他是个律师
Yeah, I know he's a lawyer.
你可以坚持五分钟
Do you think you could go more than five minutes
说话不提到德里克是个律师吗
without bringing that up?
你必须把枪从她手里抢过来
You have to get the gun from her.
我知道但我怎么样才能靠得比较近
I know, but how do I get close enough?
有一个办法她显然对你有好感
There's one way. She clearly has a thing for you.
你为什么这么说
Why do you say that?
就因为她幻想我们是一对狗狗情侣
Just because she has a fantasy of us as a dog couple?
等一下我懂了这招管用
Wait. Yeah, I see it. That's gonna work.
非常俗气而且你甚至不关心
Very tacky. And it's like, you don't even care
我到底有几根烟囱
how many chimneys I have.
很抱歉打断你们
Hey, sorry to interrupt.
福格夫人我们还没相互介绍过
Mrs. Fogle, we weren't introduced.
我是杰克黛比的男朋友
I'm Jake, Debbie's boyfriend.
你是吗我们是情侣吗
You are? We are?
对啊没错
I mean, yeah.
-如果你也喜欢我 -我喜欢我愿意
- If you're into it. - I am. I do.
看到没妈妈我确实有男友
See, Mom. I am with someone.
所有的灵媒都搞错了
All those psychics were wrong.
-听着宝贝 -你说宝贝
- So listen, babe. - Yes, babe?
-我在想 -想什么宝贝
- I was thinking-- - About what, babe?
-我们应该 -继续宝贝
- That we-- - Go on, babe.
哇哦你真的很喜欢疯狂叫宝贝
Wow, you really latched onto the babe thing.
-我爱死了 -很好很好
- I love it. - Great, great, great.
总之我想说的是
Well, anyways, I was just gonna say
你懂的这票大的搞定之后
that, you know, once we're done with this big score,
我们需要找一个
we need a place to hide out.
警♥察♥永远都不会找到我们的地方
Somewhere where the cops could never find us.
哇哦比如未来世界
Ooh, like Epcot.
是的未来世界确实不错
Uhh, yes, Epcot is great.
奥兰多迪士尼度假村的主题公园之一
园内有各个国家的经典建筑微缩版
跟我想的如出一辙
That's exactly what I was thinking.
我们可以在埃菲尔铁塔前接吻
We can kiss in front of the Eiffel Tower,
在威尼斯运河上接吻
on the canals of Venice,
还有加拿大城♥堡♥里接吻
oh, in the Canada pavilion.
是的既然现在我们就可以接吻
Yes, but why wait till the Canada Pavilion
为什么要等到去加拿大城♥堡♥呢
when we can start right now?
-你说呢 -我的天
- Huh? - Oh, my God.
-真的发生了 -靠近点
- This is happening. - Come here.
飞踢
Hi-ya!
什么鬼宝贝
What the hell, babe!
黛比你的计划是什么跟我说说
Debbie, what's your plan here? Talk to me.
凭什么
Why?
让你听了之后编造更多美丽的谎言吗
So you can just tell me more beautiful lies?
你觉得你随便舔一下嘴唇
You think you can just lick your lips
-我就会双腿之间一软吗 -没有啊
- and make me weak in the knees? - No.