神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E12

Part 1 June 21, 2020, 10:27 a.m.

神烦警探
斯卡利你敢相信吗
Can you believe this, Scully?
现在警局里好像只有我们负责任
Looks like we're the only responsible people
准时上班了
who show up on time anymore.
他们还整天骂我们懒他们现在人呢
And they're always calling us lazy, but where are they now?
-完全没看见啊 -他们还没到
- I don't see them. - They're not here.
但你知道谁到了吗希契科克与斯卡利
But you know who is? Hitchcock and Scully.
-白♥痴♥二人组 -阿呆与阿瓜
- The oafs. - The bozos.
-两... -个傻♥逼♥
- The-- - Idiots!
你们在这里干嘛大楼在烟熏消毒杀虫
What are you doing here? The building's being fumigated.
都发了多少封电邮通知了
There were so many emails.
有吗我们没...
There were? We didn't--
-轻量级体质差 -看他晕倒你就这想法吗
- Lightweight. - That's your takeaway?
他体型这么庞大感觉不应该那么快啊
It just doesn't seem like he should be that fast for how big he is.
天啊我恨死瓦里奥了
Gah, I hate Wario.
神似马里奥的坏+发胖版角色也有在《马里奥赛车》中出现
帕拉塔进来我办公室
Peralta, my office.
凯文也来了你们看起来都很不开心
Oh, Kevin's here. And you both look so upset.
是学校停止给系上拨款了吗
Oh, no, did they stop funding the arts?
的确但这已经无所谓了
They did, but that doesn't matter anymore.
一切都无所谓因为切达被绑♥架♥了
Nothing does. Cheddar has been kidnapped.
-有人偷走了我们的毛孩子 -我的天啊
- Someone took our fluffy boy. - Oh, my God.
发生什么事了
What happened?
我跟切达当时一起散步去面包店
Well, Cheddar and I walked to the bakery together,
我们一起分食了原味司康饼再一起去了公园
we shared a plain scone. Then we went to the park,
我松开了他的链子然后他就再也没回来
and I let him off leash. He never came back.
-有人绑走了我们的毛孩子 -我知道你刚才说过
- Someone took our fluffy boy. - Right, you mentioned that.
我再次确认一下
Now, just to be clear,
你没有亲眼看到有人把他绑走对吧
you didn't actually see someone take him, right?
所以切达有可能只是跑掉了
So there's a chance Cheddar just ran away.
-跟有些狗一样 -切达可不是"有些狗"
- You know like some dogs do. - Cheddar isn't some dog.
他不会那么做的是有人绑走了我们的...
He would never do that. Someone took our--
毛孩子是的我知道
Fluffy boy, yes, I understand.
我要你放下手边所有事情
I need you to drop everything.
这世上任何一切都没有这条狗对我重要
Nothing in the world is important to me as this dog.
没有到任何一切吧
I wouldn't say nothing.
比如我跟你不也非常亲近吗
For example, you and I are very close.
-我没时间陪你演了 -好吧
- We don't have time for this. - Okay.
在绑♥架♥案中头48小时十分关键
In kidnappings, the first 48 hours are the most crucial.
没错按狗狗时间来算差不多就是7个小时
Right, and in dog years, that's only seven hours.
你为什么要这么说这大概就是为什么
Why would you say that? This is why everyone
-大家都喜欢切达多过你 -大家都是吗
- prefers that dog to you. - Everyone?
听我说我只是想说
Okay, look, I'm just saying
在我们下任何结论之前
that before we jump to any conclusions...
我们也应该考虑一下
We should consider the fact
目前没有任何实际证据能证明有人绑♥架♥切达
that there's no actual proof that someone kidnapped Cheddar.
我收到短♥信♥ 上面写着
It's a text. It reads,
"我绑♥架♥了你的狗"
"I have kidnapped your dog."
好吧这个就真是铁证如山了
I see. Well, that seems like pretty hard proof.
很好很棒的证明
That's good. Good proof.
♪ 我说谁是那位酷辣妈 ♪
♪ I said who's that mama looking so cool ♪
♪ 我就是那个超酷辣妈 ♪
♪ I'm that mama looking so cool ♪
-哎哟喂 -怎么了
- Whoa? - What?
抱歉刚才没看到你
Oh, sorry, didn't see you there.
很明显没看到啊你这是在抽什么风
Yeah, that was clear. What's going on?
-你为什么在宅女起舞 -曼哈顿桥下有一家母婴店
- Why you dork dancing? - A baby store in Dumbo
在举办比赛赢家可以得到斯努格
is having a contest to win a Snoog.
谁或什么是斯努格
Who or what is a Snoog?
你不是吧它是史上最棒的婴儿车
Are you kidding me? It's only the best roller.
它有思博珠而的多功能性
It has the versatility of Sporjule,
法哲博的安全性
the safety rating of a Fajerb,
而且推的时候比坎达布斯特还要平稳流畅
and an even smoother ride than the Kinderbuscht.
你是中风还是发癫啊
Are you having a stroke?
最好的婴儿车都是斯堪的纳维亚产的
All the best strollers are from Scandinavia,
那里的人不会讨厌生孩子的人
where they don't hate people for having children.
我看了电影《仲夏夜惊魂》
I saw "Midsommar."
那里的人有他们自己的问题
Those people have their own problems.
斯努格是我心中的梦幻婴儿车
A Snoog is my dream stroller,
但它太贵了
but it's way too expensive.
所以比赛是要比什么
What's the contest?
是一个耐力比赛
It's an endurance competition.
参赛者得保持一只手扶婴儿车上
Everyone has to stand with one hand on the stroller,
你一放手就淘汰
and if you let go, you're out.
最后一个还扶着的人获胜
Last person holding on wins.
感觉很痛苦啊我可以来吗
Sounds painful. Can I come?
是来为我加油打气吗
For moral support?
当然就这理由
Sure. That.
好的长官
Okay, sir,
绑♥架♥犯随时有可能会打来提出要求
the kidnapper should be calling with his demands any minute.
我们追踪来电方位就能找到你的绒孩子
If we trace his location, we can find your fuzzy boy.
他不是绒孩子是毛孩子
Not fuzzy. He's fluffy.
我们不知道他现在怎么样了
We don't know what he is anymore.
他可能还是毛孩子也可能变成各种模样
He could be fuzzy, he could be anything.
雷蒙德他有可能变邋遢孩子了
Raymond, he could be scruffy.
现在你把凯文惹难受了你高兴了吧
Now you've upset Kevin. I hope you're happy.
我为什么会高兴
Why would I be happy?
我很明显只是讲错毛跟绒
I clearly just mixed up fuzzy and fluffy.
"只是"吗你被炒了
"Just?" You're fired.
把你的警徽跟配枪上缴
I want your shield and your piece.
-这有点极端了吧 -杰克说得对
- That seems a little extreme. - Jake is right.
-谢谢你凯文 -就让他停职停薪就行了
- Thank you, Kevin. - Just suspend him without pay.
你们为什么要找我帮忙啊
Why did you ask for my help?
-他打来了 -长官你要记得
- He's calling. - Sir, remember,
我们追踪定位需要两分钟
we need two minutes for the trace.
两分钟明白
Two minutes, understood.
所以尽量拖住他说话然后保持冷静
So just keep him talking and stay calm.
帕拉塔我完全能控制情绪
Peralta, I'm in complete control.
-你好 -闭上你的鸟嘴
- Hello? - Shut your damn mouth.
-这里只有老子可以说话 -那再见
- I'm the one talking here. - Then this is over.
他挂掉了
And he hung up.
好吧还有很多进步空间
Well, that could've gone better.
泰瑞你可以的你能捡起那张纸
Come on, Terry. You can pick up that paper.
算了不管它只是个初犯罢了
No, forget it. It's only a first offence.
你还好吧警督
Is everything okay, Lieutenant?
你哎哎叫一个早上了
You've been groaning all morning.
我健身全身酸痛我的肌肉好疼啊
I'm sore from my workout. My muscles hurt so bad.
你看
Look.
朋友跟我来我有一剂救命良方
Come with me, friend. I have exactly what you need.
大骨汤
Bone broth!
博伊尔家的老方子
It's an old Boyle family recipe.
我每次健身完都会喝从没有过肌肉酸痛
I drink it after every workout, and I'm never sore.
博伊尔我们在健身房♥
Boyle, I don't think we're maxing out
锻炼的强度应该不太一样
at the same weight at the gym.
泰瑞小小锻炼不足挂齿
Oh, Terry, they're just numbers.
你有一天也能追上我
You'll get there.
找到你了天啊你在干嘛
Hey, there you are, and oh, my God, what is happening?
有人惹怒了我现在我要他血债血偿
I've gotten mad, and now I'm getting even.
好了长官我知道你难过
Okay, look, Sir, I know you're upset,
但你得保持冷静像办其他案子一样处理
but you need to stay calm and treat this like any other case.
其实我都不敢相信我会说出这句话
I mean, I can't believe I'm gonna say this,
但现在真的不是你变身约翰·威克的时刻
but now is not the time to go all John Wick.
他是谁啊你的朋友吗
Who's that? A friend of yours?
我倒想呢但他不是真实的人
I wish, but he's not a real person.
他是电影里的一个杀手
He's a movie assassin that goes nuts
大开杀戒就因为有人弄死了他的狗
when someone messes with his dog.
那我就是约翰·威克斯因为我准备大开杀戒
Then call me "John Wicks," 'cause I'm about to go nuts.
是"威克"而已没有"斯" 而且你已经暴走了
It's "Wick," singular, and you already did go nuts.
害我们追踪不到对方记得吗你得集中精神
It cost us the trace, remember? Look, I need you to focus.
绑♥架♥犯发短♥信♥说了他的要求
The kidnapper texted his demands.
那混球要多少钱才肯把我的宝贝小狗还给我
How much does the bastard want for my little doggy?
问题就在这他不想要钱
Oh, that's just it. He doesn't want money.