神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E10

Part 1 June 21, 2020, 10:27 a.m.

神烦警探
我应该全部说完了
And I believe that's all I've got.
稍等还有一件事
Oh, wait, there's one more thing.
帕拉塔在会议前给了我一张字条
Peralta gave me a note before the meeting.
他的笔迹真是要命了但应该是说
Ugh, the penmanship is horrid, but I think it says,
"问问有没有人有屁♥眼♥薄荷"
"Ask if anyone has an anal mint."
现在是报告时间我们也有事要报告
It's announcements, and we do.
真帅气的进场啊
Wow, what an entrance.
我跟艾米有大新闻要分享
Amy and I have some big news to share.
-我怀孕了 -我们要有宝宝啦
- I'm pregnant. - We're pregnant!
-我真不敢相信 -恭喜啊
- Wow, I can't believe it. - Congratulations.
太意外了
What a surprise.
什么鬼我还以为你们会更兴奋呢
What the hell? I thought you guys would be more excited than that.
查尔斯你都没激动到昏倒
Charles, you didn't even faint.
对不起我试试
I'm so sorry, I'll try.
没用谁来掐晕我
It's not working. Somebody choke me.
-我来 -罗莎
- On it. - Rosa.
抱歉我们很为你们高兴
Sorry, we're so happy for you,
但我们或许... 也已经知道了
but we also maybe, kind of already knew.
毕竟你们隐瞒的功夫也做得不咋地
I mean, you didn't do the best job of hiding it.
你为什么最近整天都要搬着那个盒子
Why have you been carrying that box around so much?
我就是很喜欢这个盒子嘛
I just love this box.
你为什么在读那份报纸
Why are you reading that newspaper?
-那是两天前的 -我就喜欢这期嘛
- It's two days old. - I just love this issue.
你为什么要穿生化防护服
Hey, why are you wearing that hazmat suit?
我就觉得这打扮好看
I just love this look.
行行行所以你们都知道她大肚子了
Okay, fine, so you all knew we were pregnant.
很棒很棒但你们肯定不知道
Good for you. But I bet you didn't figure out
我们怀的是双胞胎
that we're having twins.
没有啦就是一个孩子而已
No, not really. It's one baby.
我就是想看到查尔斯晕倒
I just needed to see Charles faint.
杰克啊
Aw, Jake.
老肖酒吧
恭喜你要当爸爸了
I am excited that you're having a kid.
谢谢你啊爸爸如果你下周五有空
Thank you, Dad. Oh, and hey, if you're free next Friday,
我们要办性别揭晓"派对"
we're having a sex reveal party.
我在阿姆斯特丹的时候去过这种派对
Well, I went to one of those in Amsterdam.
是我就不会邀请亲戚去
I would not invite relatives.
什么不不不
What? No, no, no.
是用惊喜方式来跟大家揭晓
It's a party where we find out the biological sex of the baby
小孩性别的那种派对啦
in a surprising way.
你最好祈祷是个女儿
You better hope you're having a girl.
帕拉塔家的爸爸跟儿子很合不来
Peralta fathers do not get along with sons.
什么这才不是真的呢
What? That's not true.
你看我们俩现在好得不能再好了
I mean, look at us. We're doing better than ever.
你看今年你都能记住我是几月生日了
This year, you even remembered my birthday month.
现在状况是挺好但说实话
Things are good now, but honestly,
-估计只是回光返照 -听了真舒心啊
- it's probably just a blip. - Well, that's fun to hear.
但事实就是如此嘛
Well, that's just the way it is.
这是我们家族的诅咒
It's the family curse.
从你10岁那年我就没跟我爸爸说过话了
I haven't talked to my father since you were 10.
他爸爸是在世界博览会时把我爸爸抛弃的
His dad abandoned him at the World's Fair.
他爸爸是把他爸爸淹死在水井后逃来美国的
His dad fled to America after drowning his dad in a well.
天啊
Oh, my God.
好吧的确貌似是有一点规律
Okay, so yes, fine, there's a bit of a trend.
但我们才没有被诅咒我跟你好得很
But we're not cursed. You and I are good.
我打赌你也能跟你父亲重修旧好
I bet you could even fix things up with your dad.
海军上将吗
The Admiral?
我一直希望有天能跟他冰释前嫌
I always hoped that I could reconcile things with him one day,
但他才不会让这事发生呢
but he's not going to let that happen.
我能说什么呢我们就不该生儿子
What can I tell you? We're not meant to have sons.
我们的基因里藏着恶魔
There's a demon in our genes.
-你性♥爱♥影带片名 -不我的性♥爱♥影带片名是
- Title of your sex tape. - No, the title of my sex tape is
《巨♥屌♥♥鸡长高空群战空姐妹》
"Cockpit Larry and the Mile High Stewardae."
-什么 -"空姐妹"
- What? - "Stewardae."
空姐的复数啦
It's plural for stewardess.
好吧
Okay.
助理检察官库尔姆你好吗
ADA Kurm, how are you?
你是想听真实的答案就是我老婆要离开我
Do you want the real answer, about how my wife's leaving me,
还是你只是想我回答"很好你呢"
or do you just want me to say, "Good, how are you?"
后者吧
The latter?
-很好你呢 -我们很好你来做什么
- Good, how are you? - We're fine; why are you here?
你还记得卡罗尔街的入室盗窃案吗
You know that Carroll Street Brownstone B&E?
记得打破了窗户偷了台旧电视
Yeah, broken windows, swiped an old TV.
那间房♥子的屋主是市长的朋友
The house belongs to a friend of the mayor's.
我没意识到这案子是急件
Oh, I didn't realize the case was a priority.
我现在就去调查看看
I'll check into it right away.
很好有新的消息立刻通知我
Great, call me as soon as you have anything.
好的会通知你
Yeah. Will do.
天啊真是糟糕
Oh, God, what a nightmare.
对啊刚才那兄弟太糟糕了
Agreed. Dude's a mess.
你知道他才24岁吗
You know he's only 24?
不是啦是卡罗尔街的案子
No, the Carroll Street case.
我不知道市长在盯着这个案子
I didn't realize that the mayor was interested in it,
我做了件不太好的事情
and I think I did something bad.
你把重要案子给了希契科克与斯卡利吗
You gave Hitchcock and Scully an important case?
蛋糕在这里
Okay, here's the cake.
如果里面是粉色那就是女儿
If it's pink on the inside, it's a girl.
如果切开是蓝色那就是儿子
And if it's blue, it's a boy.
你为什么看起来那么失望
And why do you seem so bummed by that?
因为我还是觉得应该用烤猪来揭晓
Because I still think you should have done the pig roast,
我们先从猪鼻一路往下吃
where we start eating it from the snout,
等吃到性器官部分我们就能顺便揭晓是儿是女
and discover the baby's sex when we get to the genitals.
是啊是啊艾米也想要那么做
Yeah, you know, Amy wanted to do that too,
但我就是不喜欢
but I just don't see it. Hmm.
我收到了条短♥信♥
I'm getting a text.
"很快跟您见面先生[爵士]"
Ooh. "I will see you soon, sir."
-你猜是谁 -艾尔顿·约翰爵士[名歌♥手]
Guess who that was. Elton John.
-什么 -你自己说了"爵士" 这是你的错
- What? - You said "sir," and that's on you.
不是是我爷爷海军上将
No, it was my grandfather, the Admiral.
你找到他啦
Whoa, you tracked him down?
是的他正在去我公♥寓♥的路上
Yup, he's on his way to my apartment right now.
我要修复他跟我爸爸之间的关系
I'm going to fix his relationship with my dad.
绝对会真情大流露
It's going to be very emotional.
绝对会很戏剧化
It's going to be so dramatic.
-你应该去给《艾伦秀》当制♥作♥人 -真心的吗
- You should be producing for Ellen. - Do you really think so?
因为我一直想她节目能做个新单元
'Cause I actually have another idea for a segment
就是艾伦把你家改造成鬼屋
where Ellen turns your home into a haunted house.
单元名就叫《极限大改造: 死人骨头版》
I call it "Extreme Makeover: Bone Edition."
不过嘛... 我也不一定得去啦
But you know, I... I don't have to do it.
-我很喜欢当警♥察♥ -而且是超厉害的警♥察♥
- I like being a cop. - And you're so good at it.
好啦我去跟我爷爷见面了
Yeah, okay, I'm going to go meet my grandpa.
好的
Yup.
厉害泰瑞在吹长笛
Ooh, fun! Terry's playing the flute.
在上班的地方吹你是谁巧克力工厂的老板吗
At work. Who are you, William Wonka?
不是这是跟警♥察♥有关的事情
No, this is police business.
纽约警局乐团的长笛手退休了
The flautist for the NYPD band retired,
我要去面试他的位子
and I'm going to audition to take her spot.
霍特警监你热爱音乐能给我一些建议吗
Captain Holt, you love music. Can you give me some pointers?
我不想要他们表演的音乐就是一坨屎
I'd rather not. The music they play is dreck.
上个月他们在警官葬礼上演奏了绍萨的曲
Last month, they performed Sousa at a fallen officer's funeral.
在场的人被音乐恶心到都哭了
And the people were so appalled, they cried.
也有可能是为死者而哭泣啊
Or they were crying for the deceased.
不可能她非常不受欢迎
No, she was very unpopular.
是乐团把他们弄哭的
The band made them cry.
简单来说我对他们毫无敬意
Suffice it to say, I don't respect what they do,
所以我不适合来指点你
so I wouldn't be the right teacher.
很对不起
I'm sorry.
爷爷
Hey, Grandpa.
立正
Attention!
稍息跟你开玩笑的
At ease. Just pulling your leg.