神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E06

Part 4 April 2, 2020, 11:36 a.m.

In every situation, make the worst possible choice.
好的管他呢
Okay. What the hell?
反正其他办法都没用
Nothing else is working.
我们就试一试希契科克式
Let's try it The Hitchcock Way.
好的第一步把自己灌醉
All right, so first move: Get hammered.
喝一个
Drink up.
这些都是别人喝过的
Uh, these are someone else's.
我杯子上还有唇印
There's lipstick on mine.
没错我这杯里面还有一根香烟
Yeah, there's a cigarette in mine.
但我们正在尝试希契科克法
But we're doing things The Hitchcock Way,
那就一口闷
so bottoms up!
没问题
All right.
致在场不认识我的人
For those of you that don't know me,
我是诺姆·斯卡利
my name is Norm Scully.
希契科克是我的搭档
Hitchcock is my partner,
也是我最好的朋友
and he's also my best friend.
当我们做监视任务时或者在办公室
He buys the bear claws I like when we're on a stakeout
或在家里他都会买♥♥熊爪蛋糕给我
or when we're just in the office or at home.
我爱他
I love him.
安娜·鲁波夫
Anna Rubov,
你愿意像我爱麦克·希契科克一样
do you promise to love and cherish
爱他珍惜他吗
Michael Hitchcock as much as I've loved him?
我愿意
I do.
麦克·希契科克
And, Michael Hitchcock,
你愿意给安娜所有的爱和包容
do you agree to shower Anna
就像过去美好的30年
with the same love and kindness you've shown me
你给我的爱和包容吗
these 30 wonderful years together?
-我愿意 -我的天
- I do. - Dang.
泰瑞没有料到会这么甜蜜
Terry didn't know this was gonna be so sweet.
你可以亲吻新娘了
You may now kiss the bride.
罗莎好消息
Hey, Rosa, good news.
我刚刚跟一个人聊了聊
I just talked to someone
他说他可以接手我们所有的豚鼠
who said he'd take all the guinea pigs.
所有600只豚鼠吗他为什么要这么做
All 600? Why would he do that?
我没问我直接答应了
I didn't ask. I just said yes.
我们的祷告灵验了
Our prayers have been answered!
那人是谁
Who is this guy?
我们应该检查一下他的身份
We gotta check him out,
确保他不是怪人
make sure he's not weird.
他就是一个正常人是希契科克的朋友
He's just a normal guy who's a friend of Hitchcock's--
你说得对我们应该检查一下
yep, we gotta check him out.
没错他肯定是想用豚鼠毛来做假发
Yeah, he's gonna turn them into toupees.
我的天他真的是
Oh, my god, he is.
希契科克式果然是
The Hitchcock Way is exactly
我们需要的方法
what we needed, you know?
过去六个月的尝试实在是太累了
These last six months have actually been pretty hard.
不对
Mm, no!
希契科克才不会沉浸在过去
Hitchcock doesn't dwell on the past.
希契科克会忘了过去
Hitchcock forgets about the past
因为他大脑有奇怪斑点
because of the spots on his brain!
没错
Yes.
敬大脑斑点
To brain spots!
是肉桂甜酒
Oh! Cinnamon schnapps!
酒保再上一轮混酒轮盘
Barkeep, another round of drink roulette.
警督我从没见你在周日来老肖酒吧
Lieutenant, I never see you at Shaw's on a Sunday.
通常你周日晚上都是用来陪家人的
Those nights are reserved for spending time with your family.
我看你确实会...
I guess you do make...
破例
exceptions.
什么
What?
你还记得六个月前的对话吗
The conversation we had six months ago?
那个时候你说你不会为我破例一次
The one where you said you wouldn't make an exception for me.
那是很久以前的事了
That was so long ago.
在那之后发生了很多事
A lot has happened since then.
对我来说感觉是仅仅几分钟前的事
Well, to me it seems like mere minutes ago,
因为我日复一日地过着同样的生活
because I've been living the same day over and over again.
先生们你们谁愿意说一段祝酒词
Gentlemen, would either of you mind giving some toasts?
大家马上要注意到我们不提供食物了
People are starting to notice we didn't serve any food.
我有一些话想说
I have something I'd like to say.
婚姻是很奇妙的
Marriage is amazing.
每天和同一个人度过余生
To get to spend every day with the same person,
日复一日年复一年地生活下去
day after day, month after month on repeat.
得知明天的生活会和今天一模一样
The comfort of knowing that tomorrow
这种舒适是多么美好的任务啊
will be just like today is truly a rewarding assignment.
敬希契科克
To Hitchcock!
敬他
Hear hear.
我也想说几句
I'd also like to make a speech.
大多数婚姻以离婚收场背后是有原因的
Most marriages end in divorce, and there's a reason.
每天过着固定的生活直到永远非常无趣
It's boring to be stuck in the same routine forever.
固定的路线走了一遍又一遍
There's no value to be found
这种事情毫无意义
in walking the same beat over and over,
尤其是你已经做了六年的警监
especially when you've been a captain for six years.
重点就是婚姻
The point is: marriage is
是对我才能的浪费警督
a waste of my talents, Lieutenant.
-敬希契科克 -说得都太好了
- To Hitchcock! - These are great.
是吗
Really?
我也有祝酒词要说
I also have a toast to make.
希契科克我一直觉得我比你优秀
Hitchcock, I always thought I was better than you,
因为我没有离过七次婚
because I haven't been divorced seven times
我也从来没有因为亲吻雕像
and I've never been banned from a museum
而被博物馆禁止进入
for kissing the statues.
但是今天我意识到
But today I realize
或许我多像你一点我的生活会更好
that maybe my life would be better if I was more like you.
总之我要怀上自己的宝宝
Anyway, I gotta go make a baby of my own
就像安娜肚子里的宝宝一样
just like the baby inside of Anna.
-轻松搞定 -谢谢大家
- Nailed it. - Thank you!
她在说什么安娜
Why is she saying these things, Anna?
好了老兄
Okay, bud.
你准备好来一场希契科克式的性♥爱♥了吗
Are you ready to have some stupid Hitchcock-style sex?
当然我们去哪儿
Oh, yeah, where are we going?
哪儿也不去
Nowhere.
我们就在老肖酒吧的卫生间里做
We're going right here in Shaw's bathroom.
那真是个坏主意
Oh, that's such a bad idea.
我爱死了
I love it.
好的
All right.
有人使用
Occupied!
有人在里面我们要等等吗
Someone's in there. Should we wait?
换做希契科克他会等吗
Would Hitchcock wait?
绝对不会希契科克会去巷子里
Hell no. Hitchcock would find an alley!
太完美了
Well, this is perfect.
这里可能有很多臭鼬在爬来爬去
There's probably so many skunks skunking around here.
没错我们会有一个臭鼬宝宝
Oh, yeah. We're gonna make a skunk baby.
是的
Yeah.
-你们好 -啥
- Hello. - Huh?
不用在意我我不想加入你们
Don't worry about me. I don't want to join.
光是看看我就很高兴了
I'm happy just to watch.
糟糕安娜怀孕了他们很不高兴
Crap, they're really pissed that Anna's pregnant.
不事情远没有这么简单
No, it's more complicated than that.
安娜刚刚骂她全家人都是伪君子
Anna just called her entire family hypocrites.
等等你会说俄语吗
Wait, you speak Russian?
看来我是会呢
I guess I do.
肯定是因为过去的六个月里
I must have picked it up from talking to that woman
我经常跟咖啡摊的那个女人说话学会的
at the coffee cart for the past six months.
现在是什么情况
Now what's happening?
安娜她妈说安娜该嫁给一个更体面的人
Anna's mother says Anna should be with someone respectable,
就像她姐夫伯里斯那样而非嫁给猪头男
like her sister's husband, Boris, instead of the...Pig man.
那可真是太遗憾了
Well, that's too bad,
因为她已经嫁给猪头男了
'cause she already married the pig man.
她在说什么
What's she saying?
她说伯里斯并不是什么好人
She says that Boris is not a good man.
他背着她姐姐出轨了
He's cheating on her sister.
她知道是因为伯里斯才是她肚里孩子的生父