神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E04

Part 2 April 2, 2020, 11:35 a.m.

will be eliminated one by one until a champion is crowned.
而夺冠的人将能...
And that champion shall...
继承我的马戏团
inherit my circus.
-并得到带薪休假一天 -我就要说到那里了罗莎大妹子
- And get a day off. - I was getting there, Ro-Ro.
-让我演个爽嘛 -是啊罗莎大妹子
- Let me have my fun. - Yeah, Ro-Ro,
让他演个爽嘛
let him have his fun.
我们一如既往在游戏一开始
As always, we start the games
点亮仪式的命运贝果
by lighting the ceremonial bagel of destiny.
其实是命运法棍啦
Ah, it's actually the baguette of destiny
因为今年我们不顾危险豁出去啦
because this year, we're throwing caution to the wind.
查尔斯点燃我吧
Charles, flame me.
♪ 吉米内假德吉米内假德 ♪
♪ Jimmy Jabs Jimmy Jabs ♪
♪ 吉米内假德 ♪
♪ Jimmy Jabs ♪
随着法棍入盆接下来便开启
And with that, we commence...
我的开场十分钟表演
my ten minute opening performance.
-什么 -♪ 观众已入座 ♪
- What? - ♪ The crowd is ready ♪
♪ 怪胎齐聚此 ♪
♪ The freaks are here ♪
这表演真的好长啊
Wow, this is a really long performance.
查尔斯还成功在表演中途换了戏服
Charles pulled off a costume change.
我觉得说不上很成功啦
I wouldn't say he pulled it off.
他不小心在我们所有人面前遛了鸟
He accidentally got bottomless in front of all of us.
-也对 -帕拉塔
- Yeah. - Peralta,
不如我们给游戏加两分刺♥激♥吧
how about we make these games a little more exciting
-我们来下赌注 -有意思
- with a wager? - Ooh, interesting.
-你想赌什么 -如果你赢了
- What'd you have in mind? - If you win,
我帮你做一年份的文书工作
I'll do your paperwork for a year.
-继续说 -如果我赢了你的新车归我
- Go on. - If I win, I get your new car.
你在开玩笑吧
You're joking, right?
为什么因为你想象不出
Why? Because you can't imagine
我这么酷炫的人开一辆无趣家庭轿车的画面吗
someone bitchin' like me driving a lame family sedan?
不是是因为杰克绝不会拿我们家车当赌注
No, because Jake would never bet our car.
是啊我绝对不会那么做
Yeah, I would never do that.
不过话说回来那车才不无趣
But also, it's not lame.
车身可是一种酒的颜色大家都在热烈讨论呢
It's the color of an alcohol. Everyone's talking about it.
不杰克那辆车无趣爆了
No, Jake, it's a super lame car.
但我不介意
But I don't mind.
我被前继子赶出家门了
My ex-step-son kicked me out of the house,
我需要个可以落脚又有空调的地方
and I need a place to crash with air conditioning.
听着我们不会跟你打这个赌
Look, the bet is not happening.
抱歉艾米这是我和杰克之间的事
Sorry, Amy, but this is between Jake and me.
哥们那个喜欢和他死党
Dude, what happened to the cool guy
打赌的酷哥到哪去了
that liked to make bets with his best bud?
够了希契科克别说了
Okay, Hitchcock, drop it.
杰克现在不做这种幼稚事了
Jake doesn't do that kind of thing anymore.
-他已经变成熟了 -希契科克放马过来
- He's an adult now. - Hitchcock, you're on!
-真要赌 -当真
- He is? - I am?
我不知道是的没错开赌
I don't know. Yes! Yes, you are.
靠裤子又掉了
Damn it, my pants.
不好意思各位转过头去别看
Sorry, everyone. Look away, look away.
我去
Oh, damn.
真想不到啊
Wow, who knew?
他是货真价实的"马屌♥之王"
He really is the greatest showman.
你在搞什么鬼
What the hell are you doing?
你干嘛拿我们家的车做赌注
Why did you just bet our new car?
因为这样好玩啊
Because it's fun.
并且因为我就是这样的人
And because it's who I am.
你还记得以前你渐渐爱上我时
I mean, remember all those crazy bets
我们常玩的那些疯狂打赌吗
we used to make when you were falling in love with me?
我记得我发现你这人很讨厌时
I remember the bets we made when I found you obnoxious
我们常打的那些赌
and difficult to be around.
没错就是那些赌你看你还记得嘛
Yes, those bets. See, you remember.
-这次也跟以前一样 -桑迪亚哥
- This is just like that. - Hey, Santiago,
该出发了
it's time to head out.
我还是不去好了
Actually, I'm not leaving.
我打算留下来参加游戏
I'm gonna stay for the games.
看谁这么快就回心转意啦
Ohh, look who's coming around already.
-会很好玩的 -不这才不叫好玩
- We're gonna have fun. - No, this isn't fun.
自愿参加管理研讨会才叫好玩
A voluntary administration workshop is fun.
是啊我听说
Yeah, I hear it ends
最后还要完成六页的自我评估
with a six page self-assessment.
够了泰瑞
Oh, come on, Terry!
你没必要在我伤口上撒盐吧
You don't have to rub it in!
欢迎来到第一场比赛
Welcome to the first competition.
你们中谁将遇见[肉]自己的造物主
Which one of you will meet your maker?
小心别犯规否则被"禽"获后
Be sure not to foul out,
将会走向生命终点
or you will meet your end.
我们不知道要比什么
We don't know what the game is,
所以你的双关哏我们都听不懂
so these puns don't work.
是投肉大赛啦
It's a meat throwing challenge.
厨房♥冰箱里所有过期冷盘肉
All of the expired cold cuts from the kitchen refrigerator
都放在了这张油布底下
are under this tarp.
瞧啊
Voila!
你们各自选一种肉
You will toss a meat of your choosing
掷向休息室窗户但要站在三米开外哦
at the break room window from ten feet away.
如果肉贴在玻璃上则可进入下一轮
If it sticks to the glass, well, then you move on.
-如果没贴住你将化身... -冰冷烂肉
- If it doesn't, then you're a-- - Cold cut?
没错现在你懂时机了谢谢你罗莎
Yes, now you're getting it. Thank you, Rosa.
杰克贴住了
Jake sticks it.
艾米贴住了
Amy sticks it.
斯卡利贴住了
Scully sticks it.
希契科克贴住了
Hitchcock sticks it.
老派霍特贴住了
Holt old school sticks it.
罗莎大妹子贴住了
Ro-Ro sticks it.
黛比黛比人呢
Debbie--where's Debbie?
我做不到查尔斯我连肉都没拿
I can't do this, Charles. I didn't even grab a meat.
我不像你们个个都是冷盘肉专业投手
I'm not some expert cold cut thrower like all of you.
各位莫"怪" 我得去开导一"怪"
Everyone, I need a second for a freak in trouble.
黛比我曾经也站在这支小队面前
Debbie, I once stood here in front of this squad
-觉得自己不属于这里 -可是
- and felt like I didn't belong. - But--
没有可是这是你成就大事的好机会
But nothing. This is your chance to do something great.
黛比这就是你的高光时刻
Debbie, this is your moment.
抓住机会把肉贴上去
Take it, and stick this meat.
-这是火鸡肉吗 -是的
- Is this turkey? - Yes.
我对火鸡肉严重过敏
I'm very allergic to turkey.
摁住她
Hold her down!
黛比出局了
So Debbie's out.
不过她会没事的幸好她包里
But she'll be fine, thanks to her purse
有很多肾上腺素笔
full of EpiPens.
现在第一轮进入尾声
And now, that brings us to the end of round one,
也就是说该表演下一首歌♥了
which mean it is time for another song.
♪ 这是关键之肉 ♪
♪ It was the meet of the moment ♪
♪ 最最关键的肉 ♪
♪ Meat, meat, meat of the moment ♪
-我们五分钟后再回来吧 -♪ 投啊用力投出 ♪
- Yeah, we'll be back in five. - ♪ Throw, throw, throw it ♪
♪ 飞向窗户飞向窗户 ♪
♪ At the window, window, window ♪
你一定很好奇刚才的比赛我为何表现绝佳
So I bet you're wondering how I did so well in that last competition. -
我很意外的是你没偷吃那些过期肉
Actually, I was impressed you didn't eat any of the meat.
功劳不能全揽到我身上
Well, I don't deserve all the credit.
斯卡利给他们见识下我们的秘密武器
Scully, show 'em what we're working with.
这位是桃乐茜我的药箱
This is Dorothy, my pill box.
-老天 -我这位朋友
- Good God. - My friend here
常备几十种处方药
has dozens of medications prescribed
应对他各种疾病
for all of his ailments.
这些药使他像个正常人
They make him normal.
但却能让我的战斗力永无止境[电影]
They make me limitless.
这瓶血液稀释剂能抑制食欲
This blood thinner can suppress appetite.
这瓶湿疹药能引起肌肉极度痉挛
This eczema pill can cause extreme muscle spasms.
平时这些药会带来不方便
Which is pretty inconvenient,
但你需要大力把肉投出去时又不一样
unless you need to hurl meat across the room.
天啊他吃了兴♥奋♥剂♥
My God. He's doping.
欢迎来到职业联盟
Welcome to the big leagues.
看来事情变得更有意思了