神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E03

Part 4 April 2, 2020, 11:35 a.m.

我非常失望...
I'm really disappointed...
我竟然挑不出错来
that I have nothing to correct you on.
太棒了
That was amazing.
我从来没见过
I have never had a group
这么快就完成研讨会内容的小组
this entire seminar that quickly before.
让我想起了一个非常有趣的笑话...
It reminds me of a really funny joke about--
哈哈我已经被逗笑了
Ha, ha, I'm laughing already.
研讨会很棒可惜结束了
Great seminar, sad it's over,
但没办法再见
but it is, so see ya.
但事实上我有一个好消息
Actually, I have good news.
州法律规定研讨会
State law requires that this seminar
每次举办时间不少于六小时
be no less than six hours,
那么我想接下来的两小时
so I guess we'll spend the next two hours
我们可以深入挖掘分局的矛盾
diving into specific conflicts
然后好好解决
about this workplace and solving them.
但我们比你厉害
But we beat you.
我们准备周全所以比你厉害
We beat you with study.
布拉德有趣的朋友
Brad, my funny friend,
我们不需要这种培训
we don't need this training.
我们这里没有任何工作上的矛盾
We don't have any workplace conflicts.
是吗每个地方总有一些矛盾
Oh, there's always conflict somewhere.
有可能是很微小的事情比如小心结或者
Now, it could be something small, like a pet peeve, or--
希契科克在1988年睡了我的老婆凯莉
Hitchcock slept with my wife, Kelly, in 1988!
原来凯莉是他老婆不是他的狗
So Kelly was his wife, not his dog.
嘿趁查尔斯回来前
Hey, before Charles gets back,
我真的很想分享几个小秘密
there's a few more secrets I want to say out loud to someone
大声说给有短时失忆的人听
who will immediately forget them.
-快告诉我 -在高二的时候
- Give 'em to me. - In 11th grade,
我跟每个人说我要去麦格戴斯的演唱会
I told everyone I was going to a Megadeth concert,
死亡金属摇滚乐团
但其实我去了梅丽莎·艾德里奇的演唱会
but it was actually Melissa Etheridge,
摇滚女歌♥手
我爱死她了
and I loved it.
还有一次我吃了一块狗粮饼干
Also, one time, I ate a dog biscuit
想尝尝味道怎么样
just to see what it tasted like.
我能理解狗粮挺好吃的
I get it. They're delicious.
确实不错
They're not bad.
查尔斯来了
Oh, here comes Charles.
老兄你拿到皮门托的药了吗
Hey, man, did you get Pimento's meds?
-当然 -谢谢贴心查尔斯
- Sure did. - Aw, thanks, Chuck.
吃完药会让我感觉很舒服
See, this is gonna make me feel a lot better.
我在医院拿了瓶水你可以冲服药片
I grabbed you a water from the hospital to wash 'em down.
谢谢贴心的杰克
Aw, thanks, Jake.
你肯定会是一个好爸爸
You're gonna make a good dad.
我很高兴你和艾米迈出这一步
I'm so glad you and Amy are taking that step.
你说啥你怎么记住了
What? How did you--
你不是会记忆重置吗
what about your memory reset?
你跟艾米打算要孩子了
You and Amy are trying to have a baby
你告诉了皮门托却不告诉我
and you told Pimento and not me?
这里有一家帕内拉耶
They've got a Panera here?
太好了我爱吃他们的原味沙拉
Okay, I love their salads exactly as they come.
不你不爱吃
Actually, you don't.
多谢了杰克
Thanks, Jakey.
发现没你肯定是一个好爸爸
See, you're gonna make a great dad.
不要再说这个了
Stop saying that!
你想谈谈刚刚发生的事吗
So you wanna talk about what happened before?
"你宁愿告诉皮门托也不愿意告诉我
You mean the "You telling Pimento and not me
你跟艾米打算要孩子"这件事吗
that you're trying to make a baby" thing?
没事没事我不在意
No, no, I'm totally fine.
咖啡男你愿意当我儿子的教父吗
Hey, coffee guy, how would you like be godfather to my son?
因为这个身份突然空出来了
Because a position just opened up.
行了我们好好谈谈这件事
Okay, we're talking about this.
你在无理取闹
Look, you're being unfair.
在我和艾米的生活里
There's some things in my life with Amy
有些事只跟我们俩有关
that are just between her and me,
我希望你接受这一点
and I need you to be okay with that.
可以
Fine.
你说得对我懂了
You're right. I get it.
况且你也不是跟每个人都说了
I mean, it's not like you told anyone else.
是的
Right.
但我...
I mean...
我们还告诉了罗莎
We told Rosa.
罗莎那个蠢货吗
Rosa, that dud?
是吗为什么告诉她不告诉我
Oh, why her and not me?
有时候你有点反应激烈
Sometimes you can be a little much.
我反应激烈吗
A little much? A little much!
是的你确实有点
Yes, a little much.
或许杰克我也有"多莉去哪儿"综合征
Well, maybe, Jake, I have "Finding Dory" disease too
因为现在
because right now,
我根本不记得我们当初为什么做朋友
I can't remember why we ever were friends!
看到没你又开始小题大做了
Okay, see, once again, that was a little over the top.
不好意思我教子的亲爹
Excuse me, my godson's dad,
疯男刚刚跑走了
the crazy guy just ran away.
我的天他消失了
Oh, my God, he's gone.
-皮门托消失了 -就像我们的友谊一样
- Pimento is gone. - Just like our friendship!
别闹了查尔斯
Come on, Charles.
好了我也有槽要吐
Well, I've got a bean to boil too.
桑迪亚哥经常抢着补充我的话
Santiago always tries to finish my sentences
而且几乎每次都接错
and frequently gets it wrong.
我没有而且我没说错
I do not, and I am not wrong.
-你每次都这... -样
- You do it all the-- - Time?
不我打算说的是"这么做"
No, I was going to say, "all the day long."
看到没几乎都说错
See? Frequently wrong.
我照顾斯卡利的狗他从没感谢过我
I dogsat for Scully, and he never thanked me.
凯莉真的很难搞
Kelly was a real handful.
等等我又迷惑了
Wait, I'm confused again.
-凯莉其实是狗吗 -有两个凯莉
- Kelly was a dog? - There were two Kellys.
如果你听我的播客你自然就知道了
You'd know that if you'd ever listened to my podcast.
好了老兄放松点
Okay, dude, just relax.
不要叫我们放松点
Don't tell us to relax
因为你人太好从来没有什么心结
just because you're too nice to have any pet peeves.
是吗泰瑞当然有心结
Oh, Terry's got peeves.
泰瑞讨厌你每次吃东西的时候
Terry hates the way you always make mouth noises
发出的吧唧嘴的声音
when you eat.
吧唧我是罗莎我在吃羊角面包吧唧
Nom, nom, I'm Rosa. I'm eating a croissant. Nom, nom.
这难道也算吧唧嘴你个烂人
How's this for a mouth noise? You suck.
你才是烂人
No, you suck!
你是你也是烂人你们都是
As do you, as do you and you!
哦是吗你们这群渣渣
Oh, yeah? Well, you're all a bunch of flopes.
-渣渣吗 -你才是渣渣
- Flopes? - This is the flope right here.
好了好了
Okay, all right.
各位六小时时间到了
Okay, guys, that is our six hours.
研讨会结束了
The seminar is over.
我真的为你们感到骄傲
I'm really proud of you guys,
今天取得了很大的进步
lots of good progress here today.
不用谢
You're welcome.
你好我是警探博伊尔
Excuse me. I'm Detective Boyle.
这是我的搭档杰克
This is my partner, Jake.
你或许会觉得奇怪
You probably think it's weird
为什么我称他是搭档而不是朋友
that I said partner and not friend.
-完全没觉得 -重点是
- Not at all. - Well, the point is
我们只有单纯的同事关系
that we're strictly colleagues.
你见过这个男人吗
Have you seen this man?
见过几个小时前他想要个新纹身
Yeah, he was here a few hours ago for a new tattoo.
他打算纹
It was supposed to say,
"杰克和艾米打算要孩子"
"Jake and Amy are trying to have a baby."
他不是吧
Seriously?
等一下什么叫"打算纹"
Wait a minute, what do you mean "Supposed to"?
我在纹完前他就跳下椅子跑了
He jumped out of the chair before I could finish,
这已经是第二次了
second time it's happened.
第一次没结束他跑走了纹的是
First time, he left with a tat that said,