神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S07E03

Part 2 April 2, 2020, 11:35 a.m.

小队们好吗
What's up, squad?
希望你们都喜欢调味品因为我带来了各种料
Hope y'all like condiments because I got all the sauce.
啥
Huh?
我昨天逮捕了一个在商店偷东西的少女
I arrested a tween shoplifter yesterday,
她讲话用词都好潮哦
and she was real cool at talking.
艾米我真爱你但街头黑话可能不适合你
I love you, Amy, but maybe slang isn't your thing.
我切你们看
Whatevs. Check it.
我复印了一份去年的职场矛盾介绍
I got a copy of last year's workplace conflict presentation.
我们只需特么的恶补一下
All we have to do is study the crap out of it,
不用等人事部那个沙雕开口问
then we can answer every question
我们就会回答所有问题了
before that tool from HR even asks it.
我们很快就能搞定
We'll be done in no time.
你让我们逃离无聊讨论会的解决办法
So your solution for getting us out of the boring seminar
就是让我们背熟无聊讨论会的内容
is having us memorize the boring seminar.
没错
Exactly.
这招很天才而且很有意思
It's genius, and it's fun.
我很喜欢背东西
I love committing things to memory.
我退出我从不做功课
Yeah, I'm out. I don't do homework.
你现在必须做了
You do now.
-给老娘开始背渣渣 -渣渣
- Get busy, ya flope. - Flope?
是废柴的意思好吗这是新行话
It means loser, okay? It's new slang.
现在人人都这么说那个少女告诉我的
People are saying it! The tween said so!
这根本说不通啊
It just doesn't make any sense.
你喜欢《黑暗骑士》
I mean, you love "The Dark Knight,"
你喜欢《盗梦空间》
you love "Inception,"
但你却没看过《记忆碎片》
and you haven't even seen "Memento"?
杰克我不知道该怎么说
Jake, I don't know what to tell ya.
我经常待在丛林里
I spend a lot of time in jungles, you know.
那里又不会放那种冷门电影
They don't exactly get movies like that.
通常都是放《海底总动员2:寻找多莉》那种大♥片♥
It's usually big blockbusters like "Finding Dory."
全美票房♥4.86亿啊
486 million domestic.
如果把海外票房♥也算进去高达12亿呢
When you factor in international, 1.2 billion.
艾德里安我们没时间跑题了
Look, Adrian, we don't have a ton to go off on here.
你最近还干了些什么事
What else has been going on in your life?
都很普通
Normal stuff.
对了《比弗利娇妻》里的
Ooh, I got hired as a PI
伯爵夫人洛安聘请过我当私♥家♥侦♥探♥
by the Countess Luann from "Real Housewives."
结果我和她在酒店的小按♥摩♥浴缸里打了一炮
I ended up sleeping with her in a tiny hotel Jacuzzi.
我还把西瓜放进过微波炉里加热
I also microwaved a watermelon
就为了看看它会不会爆♥炸♥
just to see if it would explode.
你说的这些根本没帮助
Okay, this is immediately unhelpful,
但那个西瓜到底爆没爆♥炸♥
but did the watermelon explode?
就只是裂开变热了而已
It just cracked and got hot.
好没劲
Total bust.
可能是你当私♥家♥侦♥探♥时
Hey, maybe one of your PI cases
所查的某个案子导致你被袭击的
is the reason you got attacked.
我也这么想过但我觉得不太可能
I thought of that too, but I doubt it.
我调查的人都一模一样挺无聊的
You know, they're all the same, kinda boring.
都是某个红发女士希望我黑入他丈夫的手♥机♥
It's some redheaded lady wants me to hack her husband's phone
看他是否在跟一个叫肯德拉的动感单车教练偷♥情♥
to see if he's cheating with a spin instructor named Kendra.
这么具体的细节
It seems a little specific
他们竟然也能一模一样啊不过好吧
that they would all be like that, but okay.
这声音是哪里发出来的
Where is that coming from?
天啊我胸腔里有个炸♥弹♥
Oh, my God, there's a bomb in my chest!
-什么 -他们在我胸腔里装了炸♥弹♥
- What? - They put a bomb in my chest!
我们该怎么办
What do we do?
等等原来是我手表发出的声音
Wait a second, the sound's coming from my little watch.
你居然第一反应是你体内装了炸♥弹♥吗
You just assumed there was a bomb inside you?
上面显示 "吃药外套右口袋"
It says, "Take pill, right jacket po"--
我以前从没见过这瓶药
I've never seen these before in my life.
这是三天前才开的
This was filled three days ago.
这医生一定是在治疗你的...
This doctor must be treating you for your...
"多莉去哪儿"病
"Finding Dory" disease,
大部分人都这么称顺行性遗忘症
that's what most people call anterograde amnesia.
一直游就对了
Just keep swimming.
没错我就是这么跟病人说的
Exactly, that's what I tell my patients,
一直游就对了
just keep swimming.
你认为是什么原因导致皮门托失忆的呢
So what do you think caused Pimento's memory loss?
可能是多年来反复受到的头部创伤
Probably years of repeated head trauma.
我已经担任脑神经科医师二十多年了
I've been working as a neurologist for over two decades,
我从没见过有病人
and I have never seen a patient
比他受过更多次头部创伤
with more traumatic head injuries.
看起来也不是太严重嘛
Well, doesn't look so bad.
红色部分才是没受过伤的
The red is the good parts.
天啊
Oh, my God.
看来的确说得通
Oh, I guess it does make sense.
皮门托过着很艰苦的生活
Pimento lives pretty hard.
我又把车钥匙锁在车里了
I locked my keys in the car again.
看来我只能砸破车玻璃了
I guess I'll have to smash the window.
其实我车上有把锤子
Actually, I got a hammer in my car.
拜托是人都知道
Come on, everybody knows
脑袋瓜就是人体的锤子啊
the skull is the hammer of the body.
这不是真的
Yeah, that's not true.
什么当真吗
What? Really?
好吧那会这样都是我的锅
Okay, well, then this is on me.
今早皮门托大吼大叫
Look, this morning, Pimento was screaming
说有人想杀他
about someone trying to kill him.
他跟你提过这种事吗
Has he said anything like that to you?
提过但过去几周我每天都和他见面
He has, but I've seen him every day for weeks,
我没发现他有新伤口
and I haven't noticed any new injuries,
但他在服用的药可能会让他产生被害妄想
but the medication he's on may be making him paranoid.
真的吗可他并不...
Really? Because he doesn't--
我胸腔里有个炸♥弹♥
There's a bomb in my chest!
好吧他的确常发作
Right, he does keep doing that.
第二天早上
你昨晚真好心
Hey, it was nice of you
让皮门托在你家过夜
to let Pimento crash at your place last night.
怎么样啊
How'd it go?
他趁尼克拉吉睡着帮他剪了头发
Oh, well, he gave Nikolaj a haircut while he was asleep,
但没有失忆发作所以总的来说大成功哦
but no weird memory stuff, so all in all, major win.
很好听起来他好像有所好转
Great, so it sounds like he might be getting better.
有人想杀我
Ah, someone's trying to kill me!
天又来了
Oh, boy, here we go again.
皮门托皮门托皮门托
Pimento, Pimento, Pimento!
别担心什么事都没有
Don't worry. Everything's okay.
你脑部受过损伤
You've had some brain trauma,
导致你失忆了
and it caused you to lose your memory.
你害怕自己有生命危险
You're scared that you're in danger,
但没证据表明真的有人想杀你
but there is no evidence that anyone is trying to kill you.
-你很安全 -等等真的吗
- You're safe. - Wait, wait, really?
松了口气呢
Whew, okay.
谢谢你
Thank you.
我本来很担心来着因为我中了一枪
I was really worried, you know, 'cause of this gunshot wound.
我的老天啊有人想杀你
Oh, my God, someone's trying to kill you!
什么你刚刚才说没这回事
What? You just told me that wasn't the case!
我全身赤♥裸♥
So there I am, naked,
手里仍拿着树篱修剪机
still holding the hedge trimmers
此时司机走过来我便说道
when the chauffeur walks in and I say,
"看来我被你抓了个现行[红手]哦"
"Guess you caught me red-handed."
-因为你手上沾了血吗 -没错就是这个哏
- Because of the blood? - Yeah, because of the blood!
好棒你能听懂
See, you get it.
子弹穿过了你们朋友的肩膀
The bullet went through your friend's shoulder.
他应该无大碍不过他倒是一直问我
He should be fine, although he does keep asking me
我们医院有没有做《变脸》那种换脸手术
if we do the "Face/Off" surgery here.
你怎么跟他说的
And what'd you tell him?
就说我们不做啊
That we don't.
好吧
Right.
-她有什么瞒着我们 -很明显
- She's hiding something. - Obviously.
艾德里安我们手头的线索很少
Okay, Adrian, there's very little evidence to go on,
最好能看看你当私♥家♥侦♥探♥时期的案件档案
so we should take a look at your PI case files.
没有的