马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S02E06

Part 4 Feb. 16, 2020, 4:11 p.m.

Todd? Get in the car.
是时候认真搞窒息式撸管了
It's time to get serious about auto-erotic asphyxiation.
好诶那是什么来着
Hooray! Question mark?
动物版劳氏家居用品[美国著名家装产品销♥售♥商]
保持冷静陶德没人知道我们来这的原因
Just play it cool, Todd. No one needs to know why we're here.
不好意思我想找一些
Excuse me, I'm looking for
承重量大的建材
something that will hold up a lot of weight.
比如说
Let's say something that
能完全吊住一匹马脖子的支架
could hoist up a horse comfortably by the neck.
放心不是用来自杀的
Not for suicide purposes.
好吧我是想让我的高♥潮♥更刺♥激♥
I'm trying to have a more fulfilling orgasm.
J·D·塞林格死的时候举世哀悼
The world wept when news broke that J.D. Salinger died.
-J·D·塞林格死了吗 -但我来是要告诉你他没死
- J.D. Salinger died? - But I'm here to tell you, he didn't die.
J·D·塞林格没死吗
J.D. Salinger didn't die?
作为20世纪最著名的作家
As one of the 20th century's most celebrated authors,
J·D·塞林格激励了无数的追梦人
J.D. Salinger has inspired countless dreamers,
八年级同学有时甚至是杀手
eighth graders and occasionally, assassins.
他的大量抒情描述和角色刻画
His spare lyricism and devotion to character
一定能成为这个
will undoubtedly translate
电视节目创作黄金时代
into a penetrating dramatic work for this,
深入人心的戏剧作品
the golden age of television writing.
J·D 接着说
J.D. Take it away.
我想做一个向名人提问的真人秀
I wanna do a show where people ask celebrities trivia questions.
-你说什么 -就像游戏真人秀吗
- What? - Like a game show?
是的你也知道因为他们是名人
Yeah. You know because since they're famous people,
所以我觉得普通人
I think normal people would
会想看看他们是不是知道一些琐碎小事
wanna see if they know trivia and stuff.
就比如说
You know, like,
好莱乌巨星名人他们知道些什么
Hollywoo stars and celebrities, what do they know?
他们有常识吗让我们一起拭目以待
Do they know things? Let's find out.
呜呼[猫头鹰叫声] 我爱这个创意
What a hoot. I love it,
我可不随便对着别人这么说
and I don't use that word with just anybody.
你想起什么名字
What do you call it?
我想起名叫"好莱乌巨星名人他们知道些什么
I call it Hollywoo Stars and Celebrities: What Do They Know?
他们有常识吗让我们一起拭目以待"
Do They Know Things? Let's Find Out.
这个只是暂定名
It's maybe more of a working title.
我已经能想象它打在大屏幕上的样子了
I can see it on the marquee already.
-那一定要一块很长的大屏幕 -是的很长
- Must be a long marquee. - It's long.
没错没错还可以请名人来挑战体能
Yeah, yeah. The celebrities can also do physical challenges.
太棒了
Oh, it's perfect.
我们一直想做一档
We've been searching for
能和"嘿我觉得你能跳舞"竞争的节目
a companion for Hey, I Think You Can Dance.
等等等一下谁做主持人
But wait, wait one second. Who's gonna host?
我有个完美人选
Huh. I've got the perfect guy.
谁想穿耐克气垫鞋
Who wants to be in Nike Airs?
克莱尔你穿着
Claire, you are looking off
那双网球鞋真是美到爆啊
the charts "Gorge" in those tennis shoes.
但我想问问你想买♥♥条毛巾吗
But let me ask you this: Would you like to buy a towel?
这条可是免费的哦
Because I'm throwing one in for free.
-他太厉害了 -没错
- He's perfect. - Mm-hm.
花生酱先生
Mr. Peanutbutter?
你想去当J.D.塞林格的
How would you like to be the host of
新名人游戏节目的主持人吗
J.D.Salinger's new celebrity game show?
什么我就知道命运对我自有安排
What? I knew destiny had a plan for me.
你看对吧
You know, it just goes to show,
只有态度正确任何梦想
with the right attitude, every single one of your dreams
都会实现
will always come true.
如果梦想没有实现
And if your dreams don't come true,
可能是因为态度不对吧
it's probably because you just didn't have the right attitude.
今天有位经纪人做到了别人无法做到的事
Today, one agent did something that no one else could.
给大家个提示抓住[守望者] 麦[麦田]
I'll give you two hints: catcher and rye.
没什么真没什么
Oh. Nothing. It's nothing.
查理·威瑟斯彭抓住了
Charley Witherspoon caught a rye bagel
吐司机吐出来的黑麦百吉饼
coming out of the toaster.
-什么 -百吉饼出来时又热又快
- Come again? - It was coming fast and hot.
什么时候有天才发明个百吉饼抓捕器
One day, some genius will invent some sort of bagel catcher
那我们就不用在这里瞎猜了
that takes the guesswork out of this task,
但在此之前查理得到一颗金星
but until then, Charley gets a gold star.
-谢谢爸爸爸爸先生 -醉了
- Thanks, Dad. I mean, Mr. Dad. - Oh...
天哪
Oh, boy.
都没想到还能见到你
Hey. Wasn't sure if I'd see you.
看到我还活着吗因为全套窒息式撸管太危险
Still alive? Because auto-erotic asphyxiation is so risky?
暂时我还是没事的
Well, here I am, for now.
波杰克等等你把床固定好了吗
BoJack... Wait. Did you fix the bed?
是啊我去五金店
Yeah. I was at the hardware store
买♥♥全套窒息式撸管工具时顺便买♥♥了固定工具
picking up supplies for my auto-erotic asphyxiation machine.
因为你也知道
Because, as you are aware,
我准备给自己来个全套窒息式撸管
I'm preparing to auto-erotic asphyxiate myself.
我就想顺便把固定床的东西买♥♥了
And I figured I'd get stuff for the bed
至少让你睡个好觉吧
so you could at least get a good night's sleep.
好吧波杰克
Okay, BoJack.
你想跟我谈谈我们房♥间里的大象吗
Wanna talk about the elephant in the room?
形容明明存在却被人刻意回避的话题
醉了好吧你知道吗
Wow. Okay. You know what?
你知道吗我首先...
You know what? Here's-- First of all--
好吧我都无法...
Wow. All right, I can't even--
你知道吗我...
You know what? I--
醉了
Wow.
他会记一辈子的
He is never gonna forget that.
这到底是怎么回事
What is this all about?
就是我想追求那种感觉到
This isn't about anything but the pursuit of the kind of orgasm
所有彩虹颜色的高♥潮♥
that feels like a rainbow with every color.
-就是普通彩虹呗 -不是
- So, a regular rainbow. - No.
如果你不介意前提是你不爱我
So, if you don't mind, as long as you don't love me,
我要套上套索了
I have a noose to step into.
我只要释放这根控制杆
I just need to release this lever,
把用作平衡物的沙袋放下
drop these bags of sand, which act as counterweights,
然后再拉这个开关式东西就好了
and then just pull this nozzle.
-简直完美 -好吧你好好玩
- Perfect. - Okay. Have fun.
-等等旺达 -行了你个傻帽
- Wait, Wanda. - Okay, fine, you stupid baby.
我爱你
I love you.
我我就知道
I-- I knew it.
但我不会不让你玩什么心跳蜘蛛侠
But I'm not going to tell you not to do the funky Spider-Man.
-什么 -你需要对自己负责
- What? - You need to be responsible for yourself.
-不像是我会做的事 -我知道
- That doesn't sound like me. - I know.
但如果你也爱我你就不会去做
But if you love me, too, you won't do it.
-不出我所料 -好吧
- I thought so. - Okay.
我说明一下
Just for the record,
从一开始我就没想过要真做
I never really wanted to do this in the first place,
所以我不做不能表明我爱你
so me not doing it is not a sign that I love you.
-只是因为我是个胆小鬼 -好吧
- It's just because I'm a coward. - Okay.
-我不爱你 -你当然不爱
- I don't love you. - Sure, you don't.
我不爱你回来我不爱你
I don't. Come back here. I don't love you.
你根本没让我觉得不那么颓废
You don't make me feel less broken.
我不懂
I don't get it.
我单枪匹马让一个
I singlehandedly got a
女足恋商店雇员成了黄金段节目主持
Lady Footlocker store employee a primetime show
又让一个法律上已死的人复活了
and resurrected a certified dead man
可是竟然没人在乎
and nobody cared.
-我这是都何必啊 -喂
- Why do I do anything? - Hey.
需要电影主角那一套吗
Do you need the movie star speech?
需要
Yeah.
好卡洛琳你是一部电影的主角
Okay. Carolyn, you are the star of a movie.
电影中这里你是要心碎的
This is the part of the movie where you get your heart broken.
世界考验你周围的人不正眼看你
Where the world tests you, and people treat you like shit.
但电影必须这样演
But it has to happen this way.
否则电影最后
Otherwise, the end of the movie,
你得到一切时就不会有苦尽甘来的感觉
when you get everything you want, won't feel as rewarding.
虽然你身边到处是混♥蛋♥ 但最后都没关系
There are assholes out there, but in the end, they don't matter.
因为这部电影主角不是他们
Because this movie's not about them.
主角从来都不是他们
It's never been about them.
一直以来这部电影的主角都是你