马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S02E08

Part 4 Feb. 16, 2020, 4:11 p.m.

get away from her awful marriage.
-是不是有点过分了 -你真想知道吗
- Oh, was that too far? - Oh-ho, you want to get into things?
-我是说 -不不让我们说清楚
- Well, I mean-- - No, no, no, let's get into things.
让我们实话实说各位波杰克想要实话
Let's get real. Everybody, BoJack wants to get real.
取消泡泡环节因为我们要实话实说了
Cancel the Bubble Round. Because we're getting real.
我们该进广♥告♥吗
Should we cut to commercial?
荷马受到海妖歌♥声怂恿的时候
Would Homer cut away from Odysseus's journey
会中止奥德赛之旅吗
just as he was being enticed by the sirens' song?
不会
No?
那不就得了
Well, there you are.
要把事情说个明白非常明白
Things are getting real out here. Really real.
非常非常非常明白
Really, really, really real!
我们爱丹尼尔·雷德克里夫
-我不知道你要... -不知道吗
- Uh, I'm not sure where you're going-- - Oh, no?
那次你带着我老婆把车停到路边的时候
'Cause you sure knew where you were going with my wife
你可知道得一清二楚
that time you pulled over by the side of the road.
就在我们结婚前一周
You know, a week before we got married?
你想说说那件事吗波杰克
You want to talk about that, BoJack?
你想说说那次你
You want to talk about the time when you,
我的"好朋友"亲我老婆吗
my "Good friend," kissed my wife?
-不 -好
- No! - Yes.
发生什么精彩的事情了吗
Did something exciting just happen?
因为应用上的用户我引用一下 "失去咪♥咪♥"
Because people on the app are, and I quote, "Losing their tits."
不不我不小心点到癌症支援留言板了
Oh, no, no, I've stumbled on to a cancer support message board.
好吧我怎么...
Okay, how do I...?
你怎么知道那件事的
How did you know about that?
太平洋海岸高速路上全都是摄像头
Well, there are roadside cameras all along the PCH,
我有几个高速公路巡警朋友
I have a few friends in the highway patrol,
当然是她告诉我了我们结婚了
and she told me, of course! We're married!
等下所以你一直以来都知道吗
Wait, so you've known all this time?
现在这才叫电视打开下雨开关
Now this is television. Turn on the rain.
你不觉得你有点强人所难吗
Um, don't you think you're pushing them too far?
我来告诉你什么叫强人所难
I'll tell you when it's too far.
这是我的艺术妈的
This is my art, goddamn it.
我是J·妈的·D·妈的·塞林格我就要下雨
I'm J. Goddamn D. Goddamn Salinger, and I want rain!
我只想做你的朋友
All I ever wanted was to be your friend.
你却把我当成天大的笑话
And you treat me like a big joke.
你以为我没察觉吗你为什么看我不顺眼
You think I don't notice? Why don't you like me?
-花生酱先生 -不告诉我
- Mr. Peanutbutter-- - No, tell me.
因为我嫉妒
Because... I'm jealous.
-嫉妒什么戴安吗 -不
- Of what? Diane? - No.
一切你的一切来得太容易
Of everything. Everything comes so easy for you.
你不也是吗
Oh, and it doesn't for you?
你是个身价百万的电影明星女友爱你
You're a millionaire movie star with a girlfriend who loves you,
在你梦想的电影里出演你还想要什么
acting in your dream movie. What more do you want?
这世界还能欠你什么
What else could the universe possibly owe you?
我想对自己正眼相看
I want to feel good about myself.
像你那样我不知道那怎么做到
The way you do. And I don't know how.
我不知道我能不能做到
I don't know if I can.
各位话题是不是有点沉重了
Whoa, guys, this is getting a little heavy, don't we think?
对不起花生酱先生
I'm sorry, Mr. Peanutbutter.
我真的很抱歉
I can't tell you how sorry I am.
我不知道能不能原谅你
Wow, um, I don't know if I can forgive you.
但我想我们会知道的休息一下马上回来
But I guess we'll find out right after this break.
-牛逼啊 -闭嘴
- Damn. - Shut up.
我就知道我就知道这个节目
I knew it. I knew this show
会让我们走到人性戏剧的巅峰
would bring us to the heights of human drama
那是文学作品无法望其项背的
more powerfully than literature ever dreamed.
现在有谁出去给我买♥♥罐红牛
Now somebody go out and get me a Red Bull
和一份香蕉鱼三明治
and a banana fish sandwich.
好嘞有红牛真精彩
On it. It's a perfect day for a Red Bull.
-花生酱先生 -你好旺达
- Mr. Peanutbutter! - Oh, hey Wanda.
我没仔细看
I'm only half paying attention
你们在争吵什么
to whatever you two are arguing about
但真的火了再来个圆♥满♥结局就圆♥满♥了
but it's killer. Now all we need is a happy ending.
就半个小时时间
I don't think we can just
我们好像无法把事情彻底解决好
resolve everything cleanly in a half-hour.
我们做的是电视节目
Uh, this is network television.
所以我们就是干这个的
So resolving everything
半个小时就把事情彻底解决好
cleanly in a half-hour is kind of what we do.
你想主持一个到最后观众都不开心的节目吗
You want to host a game show where everyone feels bad at the end?
那你可以坐上你的小车
You can get in your little car,
去圣塔莫尼卡找AMC电视台了
drive to Santa Monica and pitch it to AMC.
但我们的观众要的是结果知道吗
But these people want resolution, okay?
所以你马上给我上台把问题解决了
So you get your little butt back on that stage and you resolve.
欢迎回来
And we're back.
休息时我想了想波杰克...
You know, I did some thinking over the break. BoJack--
-怎么回事 -天哪
- What's going on? - Oh, my God.
不不怎么回事
No! No! What's happening?
有人把主电源线拔了
Someone unplugged the main power line
插到一个拳王炙烤炉上了
and plugged in a George Foreman Grill.
三明治来啦谁拔下了...
Panini time. Hey, who unplugged--
陶德你靠边站
Todd! Goddamnit, step aside!
米娅干得漂亮你救了我们的节目
Mia, good work. You saved the show.
你赢得了我的尊重这支笔给你
You earned my respect... and this pen.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
好了吗好了现场直播各位观众
Oh, are we back? We're back! Live television, folks.
休息时我的制♥作♥人告诉我
You know, during the break, my producers told me
我必须在直播中原谅波杰克
I had to forgive BoJack live on the air.
但我是条有主见的狗
But I'm my own dog.
作为一条有主见的狗我决定
And as my own dog, I decided
在直播中原谅波杰克来抱抱伙计
to forgive BoJack live on the air! Bring it in, buddy!
-什么 -搞什么
- What? - Really?
花生酱先生你的大度值得敬佩
Mr. Peanutbutter, I applaud your forgiving nature,
但这家伙可亲了你老婆啊
but this guy kissed your wife.
什么波杰克亲了戴安吗
Wait, BoJack kissed Diane?
唯一能扯平的方法就是你也亲他
The only way to even the score is if you get to kiss him.
-什么 -说得对很有道理
- Wait, what? - You're right, it makes perfect sense.
-必须的 -才不是
- Yeah, absolutely. - No, it doesn't.
那样我和戴安就拥有同样的经历了
That way Diane and I will have had the same experience.
这是我们让这件事过去的唯一方法
It's the only way we can move past this.
如果可以帮我们让这件事过去那...
Well, if it helps us move past this, I guess...
亲一个亲一个
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
亲一个亲一个
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
接吻摄像机准备
Cue the Kiss Cam.
要是《麦田里的守望者》也有接吻摄像机就好了
Oh, if only I'd had a Kiss Cam for Catcher In The Rye.
我后悔的那么多事中又多了一件
Well, just one more regret on a long list of many.
陶德你在这里啊
Todd, there you are.
刚才你错过了一个重大的时刻
You're missing a pretty big moment out there.
我不管你跟我说过
I don't care. You said it yourself.
没有那支笔我一无是处
Without that pen, I'm totally worthless.
这是有原因的啊因为你
Not for nothing, but you were worthless
没得到笔前也是一无是处啊
before you didn't get the pen.
这次我真的努力了
I really tried this time.
看来我永远不会有所成就了
I guess I'll never really amount to anything.
可能你只是需要一个相信你的人
Well, maybe you just need someone to believe in you.
之前从没人上过这个当
Wow, no one's ever fallen for that!
-什么 -你太蠢了
- What? - You're so stupid!
笔你拿到了你却给我了吗
You had the pen and you just gave it to me?!
真不敢相信这招竟然管用
Oh, I can't believe that worked.
天哪你看看你那张傻♥逼♥脸
Oh, my God, look at your stupid face.
这支笔只是个象征并不...
The pen is just a symbol. It doesn't--
你现在又没笔吃不到葡萄说葡萄酸
Yeah, said the girl who doesn't have a pen right now.
难以置信你是世界上最烦人最幼稚最气人
Unbelievable. You are the most annoying, immature, aggravating,
最让人愤怒最神经病...
irritating, crazy-making...
她都快气死了孩子们
Oh, she was mad, all right. But kids?
这就是我如何遇到这支笔的...故事
That's the story of how I met... this pen.
你给我滚出造型室把我的笔还给我
Hey, get out of Hair and Makeup and give me back my pen!
我拿到了你的笔这意味着你尊重我
I got your pen. That means you respect me.
-才不是 -陶德搞笑万岁
- No it does not. - Viva Todd-foolery!
去死吧傻♥逼♥
Suck a dick, dumbshits.