马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S02E06

Part 3 Feb. 16, 2020, 4:11 p.m.

-哪里不一样了 -因为你爱我对吗
- How was that different? - Because you do love me. Right?
-就那么一点点 -不爱
- Like a little bit? - No.
无论如何我爱你们两个
Uh, for what it's worth, I love both you guys.
闭嘴陶德大人在谈话呢
Shut up, Todd. Grown-ups are talking.
女足恋
穿上试试吧女士
Here you go, ma'am.
洁西卡·艾特肯森快过来
Jessica Atkinson, come on down.
花生酱先生
Mr. Peanutbutter?
你是想看一号♥鞋盒的鞋还是二号♥鞋盒的鞋
Would you like to see what's in box number one or box number two?
不管怎样都是一双新鞋呢
Either way, it's a brand-new pair of shoes!
卡洛琳
Carolyn.
-鲁塔贝格 -喝咖啡吗
- Rutabaga-- - Coffee?
我昨晚想到你了
I was thinking about you last night
我当时和卡蒂
while Katie and I were locked
正就花岗岩桌面展开激烈辩论
in a fascinating debate about counter granite.
我告诉你哦我曾经给鲣鱼罗尼打下手
And what if I told you I used to work Ronnie Bonito's desk,
而且我碰巧知道他有个秘密客户
and I happen to know that he had a client so hush-hush,
-根本都不在客户名单里 -是谁快说
- it wasn't even on the master list. - What? Who? Tell me. Whoa!
备受喜爱的小说家J.D.塞林格怎么样
Beloved novelist J.D. Salinger. What?
就是写《麦田里的守望者》的那位吗
The author of Catcher in the Rye?
-还有...其他书 -没错
- And... others? - Yuh-huh.
-他不是死了吗 -他是隐居了
- Isn't he dead? - He's "Reclusive."
那哥们不想别人来打扰就来了个假死
Dude wanted to be left alone so much, he faked his own death.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
你为啥把这消息告诉我
Why are you giving this lead to me?
因为我喜欢你啊小笨蛋
Because I like you, dummy.
现在我们得等消防员
Now we gotta wait for the fire department
把咱救出电梯了
to come let us out of this elevator.
-嗨 -灯芯绒你在这儿干嘛
- Hey. - Corduroy, what are you doing here?
我想求你帮忙你能帮我保管这个吗
I need a favor. Can you hold on to this for me?
-这是你说的《圣经》吗 -当然不是
- Ew. Is this your Bible? - No, no, no, no.
-这是我的窒息工具箱 -工具箱
- It's my choking-off kit. - Your kit?
对啊里面装着我的全部工具
Yeah. It has all my supplies.
丝绸领带皮革塞口球红丝绒袜柠檬
Silk ties, a leather gag, velvet sock. Lemon.
哥们你得把它拿去啊我怕我控制不了自己
Look, man, you gotta take this off my hands. I can't trust myself with this.
可我不想把你的撸管工具箱放在家里
I don't know if I want your jack-off kit at my house.
拜托了我的女朋友很爱我
Please, man. I got this girlfriend. She loves me.
如果我又开始边窒息边撸她会心碎的
If I fall back into the old gasp-and-goo, it'll break her heart.
等等你是说如果有人爱你
Wait. So, you're saying if someone loves you,
她就不想让你窒息着自♥慰♥吗
they don't want you to choke yourself while masturbating?
是的这个真的太危险了
Yeah. It's really dangerous.
-好吧我会保管的 -谢了波杰克
- All right. I'll take it. - Thanks, BoJack.
我还是不懂你为啥要整个工具箱
I still don't understand why you need a kit, though.
你就不能直接用根皮带或是绳子么
Can't you just use, like, a belt or a rope?
大概是吧
Oh, I guess.
其实用什么都可以吧
I mean, I guess you could use anything.
你可以用iPhone数据线
I mean, you could use an iPhone charger,
鞋带领带跳绳...
a shoelace, a necktie, a jump-rope...
-你好我来找 -抱歉这里不能找
- Oh, hello. I'm looking for some-- - Sorry, no looking allowed.
这家店只欢迎顾客
This store is for customers only.
那好吧我想买♥♥辆自行车
Okay, then, I would like to buy a bicycle.
你有没有什么推荐的
What would you recommend?
-带车铃的还是 -好吧你赢了
- One with a bell, or--? - Alright. You got me.
我对自行车根本一窍不通
I don't know anything about bicycles.
我是J.D.塞林格我伪造了自己的死
I'm J.D. Salinger. I faked my own death.
很高兴见到你塞林格先生
Mr. Salinger. Such a pleasure.
我是卡洛琳公主久仰大名
Princess Carolyn, big fan.
让我猜猜《麦田里的守望着》对吗
Let me guess, Catcher in the Rye?
还有其他书
And others.
-比如《霍比... -不是我写的
- I wanna say The Hobbi-- - Nope.
我是个经纪人
Look. I'm an agent.
我读没读过你的作品并不重要
It doesn't matter whether I've read your work.
重要的是我能看着你的双眼
What matters is I can look you in the eye
跟你说我是你的铁杆粉丝
and tell you I'm a big fan.
全世界都在等待着你的复出我想帮你
The world is ready for your comeback, and I wanna help.
不谢了不感兴趣
No, thank you. Not interested.
以前复出过效果并不好
Did that before, didn't work out well.
粉丝太无情批评太严厉
Fans were relentless. The critics were cruel.
所以我的座右铭是 "与其被人伤害不如一人独处"
And that's why my motto is, "It's better to be alone."
这么说起来
Which, come to think of it,
也许正因如此我卖♥♥不掉双人自行车
is probably why I don't sell a lot of tandem bicycles.
可J·D·塞林格你可是J·D·塞林格啊
But, J.D. Salinger, you are J.D. Salinger.
你可是该死的美国至宝啊
You are a goddamn American treasure.
可我每次复出
But every time I go out in the world,
大家都骂我的书
people hound me about my books.
好吧是一本书
Well, book.
那如果我告诉你有个地方根本没人看书呢
What if I told you there was a place where no one reads books?
洗耳恭听
I'm listening.
这个地方的人只看标题目录和图片
A place where people only read headlines, lists and pictures.
这个地方的人讨厌阅读
A place where people hate reading so much,
所以要请人帮他们读
they hire others to do it for them
可却连最低工资都不用付
and don't even pay a living wage.
你是说就像现代的阅读奴隶吗
What do you mean, like, modern reading slaves?
说得没错
Exactly.
而那些现代阅读奴隶真正想做的
And all those modern reading slaves really wanna be doing
是写出有一天
is writing things that, one day,
别人也不想阅读的东西
other people will also avoid reading.
-这样的地方当真存在吗 -跟我来 J·D·塞林格
- Does such a place truly exist? - Come with me, J.D. Salinger.
我们去好莱乌
Let's go to Hollywoo.
-我们得谈谈 -好吧
- We need to talk. - Okay.
也许你会想知道这个漂亮的红木盒子里装的是什么
You're probably wondering what this beautiful mahogany box is.
-我不想知道 -里面是我的全套窒息式撸管工具
- I wasn't wondering that. - It's my auto-erotic asphyxiation kit.
我决定了要玩心跳蜘蛛侠
I've decided to do the funky Spider-Man.
-什么心跳蜘蛛侠 -是我自己想的名字
- What? Funky Spider-Man? - I came up with that one myself.
因为他被吊着还能往外射蜘蛛网
Because he hangs, then he shoots webbing.
慢着你是说你要自己玩窒息式撸管吗
Wait. Are you saying you want to auto-erotic asphyxiate yourself?
是的我要撸
Yes. I do.
虽然这很危险
Even though it's very dangerous
我可能会窒息而死
and I could die.
好了如果你爱我你可能不想让我这么做
Now, if you love me, you probably wouldn't want me to do it.
-好吧我明白了 -既然你不爱我那我就该去撸对吧
- Okay. I get it. - Since you don't, I should do it, right?
因为没有理由不去... 除非你爱我
I mean, there's no reason not to... unless you love me.
-去吧 -慢着你说真的吗
- Do it. - Wait. Seriously?
你看起来心意已决
Seems like you've already made up your mind.
既然你下定决心那就放手去撸吧
If you're that set on it, knock yourself out.
万一我搞砸了呢
Only if I do it wrong.
因为就像我刚才说的这么撸非常危险
Because as I mentioned before, it's very dangerous.
-撸得开心 -我是认真的我真要撸了哦
- Have fun. - I'm serious. I'm really gonna do it.
太好了记得垫块毛巾别拿好的那种
Great. Put a towel down. Not one of the good ones.
早安好莱乌
早安好莱乌
Morning time, Hollywoo.
我是瑞安·西克莱斯特那型的
I'm A Ryan Seacrest Type.
我是女演员什么的
And I'm An Actress Or Something,
我也不知道只是帮某·女代班而已
I don't know, sitting in for Some Lady.
-她出什么事了 -她被绑♥架♥了
- Whoa. What happened to her? - She got kidnapped.
天呐
Oh, boy.
神呐哇哦
Oh, my. Ooh, wow.
早上好看来你活到今天又能继续撸管了
Oh, hey. Look who survived to masturbate another day.
显然我还没撸
Well, I didn't do it yet, obviously.
但如果真要撸我一定不遗余力
If I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna go all out.
撸一次需要木支架滑轮柠檬之类的大工程
A big job like that needs lumber, and pulleys, lemons, so forth.
要撸就撸全套
I'm not gonna half-ass anything.
我们说的可是我的高♥潮♥大事
This is my orgasm we're talking about.
好吧我祝你撸得尽兴
Okay. Well, I wish you all the best.
-现在阻止我还不晚哦 -我才不会阻止你
- Not too late to stop me. - I'm not gonna stop you.
-你别阻止最好 -正好我们达成一致了
- Good 'cause don't. - All right, we're in agreement.
别吵了
Stop fighting!
你们没发现你们吵架影响到我了吗
Can't you two see what this is doing to me?
指父母吵架对孩子情绪的影响
我都受你们情绪传染了
I've been acting out.
祝你们一天愉快
Have a great day.
陶德上车