马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S02E10

Part 3 Feb. 16, 2020, 4:11 p.m.

或者你可以生气
Or you could sulk about it.
戴安说得对
Diane does raise some good points.
才不对
No, she doesn't.
我也不觉得戴安
Besides, I don't think Diane's
是你合格的人生导师
the person you wanna be going to for life advice now.
为什么就因为我一直在
Why? Just because I've been drinking myself
你的躺椅上喝酒睡觉
to sleep on your deck chairs
过去一周还一直在骗我丈夫吗
and lying to my husband for the last week?
我奶♥子♥上挂了片芝士饼干
Hey, there's a Cheez-It on the shelf.
我就知道长它们是有好处的
I knew I kept these things around for a reason.
我刚上了一节超棒的即兴表演课
I just had the most amazing prov sesh.
没人在乎陶德
No one cares, Todd.
你们想帮我练习吗提个建议吧
Hey, you guys wanna help me practice? Make a suggestion.
-闭嘴[停车] -抱歉警官
- Stop. - Aah. Sorry, officer,
我没看见那个停车标志
I didn't see that stop sign.
对
Yes.
而且我车是烧屁的
And my car runs on farts.
-不停下 -请停下
- Stop. No, stop it. - Please stop.
我没给你建议
Not a suggestion.
我只是希望能给长老会留个好印象
Okay. I just hope I impress the elder council.
我想成为二级成员
I want to become a Level Two,
这样就能和神选中的信徒
so I can finally achieve clarity
一起登上主舞台了
on the Mainstage with the chosen ones.
操陶德信邪教了
Oh, shit, Todd's in a cult.
什么即兴表演才不是邪教
What? No, improv is not a cult.
只是一个承诺给你
It's just a dogmatic school of thought
社会与就业机会的盈利组织
taught by a for-profit organization
办的思想教条的学校而已
with the promise of social and professional opportunities.
就是邪教我很清楚
It's a cult. And I know what I'm talking about.
我信山达基教那年
I learned a little about cults
学了点邪教的东西
during that year I was a Scientologist.
因为那年我碰巧读到一本说邪教的书
Cause coincidentally during that year, I read a book about cults.
等等你说山达基教是邪教吗
Wait, are you saying Scientology is a cult?
不山达基不是邪教
No, Scientology is not a cult.
即兴表演才是
Improv is a cult.
我要说清楚我说的是即兴表演
I wanna be very clear. This is about improv.
我真觉得没那么糟各位
I really don't think it's that bad, guys.
一切都有什么意义呢对吧
Well, why does anything matter, right?
爱情是幻想幸福转瞬即逝
Love is an illusion, and happiness is fleeting,
也根本没上帝这回事
and there is no such thing as God,
你最喜欢的音乐人也都会打老婆
and all your favorite musicians beat their wives.
"据说"哦
Allegedly.
你能跟她聊聊吗
Would you talk to her?
-好 -好我是个纳粹卡戴珊
- Yes. - Yes, and I am a Nazi Kardashian.
希♥特♥勒♥万岁
Heyyy... Hitler.
求你消停会儿
Please stop.
插科打诨
洛翰总统别碰那个消防水带
President Lohan! Get away from that fire hose!
消防水带
Fire hose!
抱歉我迟到了各位
Sorry I'm late, guys!
陶德我们插科打诨这里对迟到处罚很重的
Todd, we take tardiness seriously here at Shenanigags.
你要是再错过一节课就出局了
If you miss one more class, you're out.
对不起但布莱恩也不在
I'm sorry. But, wait, Bryan isn't here.
-他比我还迟 -布莱恩不会来练习了
- He's later than I am. - Bryan's not gonna be at practice anymore.
他太消极
He's been negative,
哥白尼觉得离开对他有好处
so Copernicus thought he could benefit from some time away.
他被派去
He's been reassigned
插科打诨的喜剧邮轮咯咯号♥上了
to the Shenanigags comedy cruise line, the Giggleship.
-这是嘉奖还是惩罚 -要看他自己
- Is that a reward or a punishment? - That's up to Bryan.
别再多问咯咯号♥的事了
Now let's have no more questions about the Giggleship.
好吧
Oh, uh, all right.
实际上我跟我朋友聊天了
Well, you know, I was actually talking to my best friend,
他说即兴表演是邪教
and he said improv is a cult.
真是疯了对不对
I mean, that's crazy, right?
如果你觉得插科打诨是邪教尽管走陶德
If you think Shenanigags is a cult, you're free to go, Todd.
不我不想走我爱这里
Oh, no. I don't wanna go. I love this place.
是我朋友不知道你们有多棒
My friend just doesn't know how great you guys are.
听起来你朋友不"是的而且"你啊
It sounds like your friend's not yes-and'ing you.
不如你请朋友来看你的毕业演出吧
Why don't you invite him to your graduation show.
如果他不愿支持你
If he's too negative to support you,
或许你该好好想想
maybe you should take a good hard think about
是否需要跟他做朋友
if that's the kind of energy you want in your life.
我讨厌思考
I hate good hard thinks.
我也爱你花生酱先生但我要挂了
I love you, too, Mr. Peanutbutter. But I-- I gotta go.
我... 对我在帮聋儿建学校
I'm-- Yeah, I'm building a school for deaf kids.
看到我打电♥话♥那些孩子会嫉妒的
The kids get jealous if I'm talking on the phone.
好拜拜
Uh, okay, bye.
你好啊
So, hey, hi.
你准备在这里待多久
How long are you thinking of staying here?
我就是自己问问
Just for my own reference.
操旺达是想让你赶我走吗
Oh, shit. Is Wanda making you get rid of me?
没人逼我做任何事
No one is making me do anything.
除了让你演这部自己讨厌的电影
Except keep acting in this movie you hate.
没错
Well, yeah.
我真觉得自己能成功
I really thought I could do it.
觉得能帮助世界另一头的人
I thought I could go far away and help people
做最好的自己
and be this best possible version of myself.
结果呢
And what happened?
我没成功
I couldn't.
想象是美好的现实是残酷的
I wasn't the person I thought I was.
我喜欢跟你待在一起消磨时间
Well, I'd love to stay and wallow with you,
但我得去片场了
but I gotta head out to scene.
今天我们原本要拍
Today we're filming what used to be the scene
骄马自杀的镜头
where Secretariat commits suicide,
但现在变成了和他的女朋友"苏西·赛德"
but is now a scene where he swims in a fishing hole
-在一个钓鱼点里游泳 -恶心
- with his girlfriend "Susie Side." - Yeesh.
如果你不想上班
Well, if you wanna blow off work,
我大可以坐在沙发上
I'm probably just gonna sit on the couch,
喝着啤酒看着过去的《胡闹的小马》
drink beer, and watch old episodes of Horsin' Around.
如果我再听到你嘀咕一声
And if I hear one more peep out of you--
-塞布丽娜 -干嘛我没嘀咕
- Sabrina! - What? I didn't peep!
塞布丽娜真是个小婊砸
Sabrina was such a little bitch.
她是个孤儿人生已经非常艰辛
She was an orphan. She had a tough life.
你好戴安还在呢
Hey, Diane, you're still here.
波杰克也在
And BoJack is here.
你今天上班了吗
Did you go to work today?
想去的但我想起来那都是垃圾
I was gonna, but then I remembered everything is garbage,
那还上个什么劲呢
so why bother doing anything?
-真谛 -好吧
- True story. - Okay.
你没有
Oh, you didn't.
你有哦
Oh, you did.
朝气
-你好 -你好把门关上好吗
- Hello. - Hey, could you get the door?
资产六月份清算好
The property's gonna be ready in June.
我们有两个月时间
That gives us two months
把我们需要的东西搬出去
to get everything we need out of this place.
完美
Perfect.
要跟你说我得把公♥司♥注册到你名下
Just so you know, I had to register the corporation in your name.
-什么 -到离婚办完就好
- What? - Just until the divorce is finalized.
卡蒂的律师现在死死地盯着我
Katie's lawyers are watching me very closely right now.
他们都是老鹰
They're hawks.
不完全是好吧有一个是
I mean, not literally. Well, one literally.
你知道吗其实他可能是只猎鹰
You know what, actually, he might be a falcon.
鲁塔贝格这太过...
Rutabaga, this is too much--
这只是暂时的技术性操作我保证
This is a temporary technicality, I promise.
我不会让你一个人独自承担的好吗
I'm not gonna leave you holding the bag. Okay?
你的助理不在我只好
Hey, your assistant wasn't out there, so I just--
-你好 -看这个骨灰罐
- Oh, hello. - Look at this urn.
这里是怎么回事
What's going on in here?
花生酱先生把门关上
Mr. Peanutbutter, shut the door.
鲁塔贝格和我要开一家新的经纪公♥司♥
Rutabaga and I are starting a new agency,