马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S02E12

Part 2 Feb. 16, 2020, 4:12 p.m.

你真的是犹太人吗
Are you actually Jewish?
因为我觉得有些词是你自己编的
Because I feel some of these you're just making up.
这周末我们有个试映会
Look, we got a screening this weekend.
来看看这部电影吧我们聊聊交流交流
Come see the movie, we'll schmooze, we'll kibitz,
呆头呆脑倒霉蛋儿过期傻瓜
schlemiel, schlimazel, Hasenpfeffer Incorporated.
已租
你想想卡洛琳一周后这都是我们的
Just think, Carolyn, in one week, all of this will be ours.
我们应该在那里安置一个社交媒体处
We should a put a social-media desk there.
如果我们雇人来管理客户的网上角色
If we hire someone to micromanage our clients' online personas
以及新媒体宣传
and new media outreach,
那样我们的客户会看起来更接地气儿
they'll seem more grounded down to earth.
微笑便便表情我真是大爱这一切
Smiling poop emoji, I love everything about that.
我希望确保我们买♥♥的沙发要很舒服
Now, I wanna make sure the couches we get are really comfortable.
以免有时候加班到很晚
You know, just in case we have some late nights.
兔威特先生这里是工作的地方
Mr. Rabitowitz. This is a place of business.
我们就不能暂时冷静一点吗
Ugh, can we just freeze in this moment for a second?
我只想记住我生命中的这一刻
I just wanna remember this instant where for once in my life,
-所有事都... -先别高兴
- everything was going-- - Hold that thought.
怎么了
What is it?
我老婆今晚要跟我去看芭蕾舞剧
Ugh. My wife and I are going to the ballet tonight,
餐馆这边还给我找麻烦
there's a real ish with the restaurant.
就是你要离婚的那个老婆吧
This is the wife you're divorcing, right?
你应该知道啊
Well, you know how it is.
你说要离婚她就会说
You say you want a divorce and she says,
"不我们能解决的"
"No, we can make this work."
你们就去做婚姻咨♥询♥ 你会记起
You go to counseling and remember
一开始是怎么爱上她的
why you fell in love with her in the first place
之类之类的事一大堆呢
and then, blah, blah, it's a whole thing.
我们俩都一起睡了三个月
We've been sleeping together for three months.
都准备一起开公♥司♥了
We're about to start a company together.
这些不需要改变啊
None of that has to change.
我绝对会跟她离婚的也许吧只是...
I am definitely going to divorce her probably, it's just...
跟没结过婚的人解释起来真难
Ugh. It's hard to explain to someone who's never been married.
听着这...
Listen, this is--
不好意思卡蒂说了些很搞笑的事
Sorry, Katie just said something funny.
-什么 -我得走了爱你哦
- What? - I gotta hop. I love you, though.
别熄火我马上就...
Okay, keep the engine running, I'll be back in a-- Oh.
我只是来拿点东西的
Um, I'm just here to pick up some stuff.
我要出去一段时间
I'm going away for a while.
-去哪 -咯咯号♥
- Oh, where? - The Giggleship.
这是一艘曾经被《人物杂♥志♥》称作
It's the comedy cruise line People magazine
"喜剧邮轮"的喜剧邮轮
once called "A comedy cruise line."
喜剧邮轮对了你的即兴表演
Comedy cruise line? Oh right, your improv thing.
你的那个毕业表演怎么样
How was your, uh, graduation show?
-那都两个月前了你错过了 -抱歉
- It was two months ago. You missed it. - Sorry.
-你才不呢 -那个...
- No, you're not. - Well...
你还记得我第一天搬来后的那个早上吗
Hey, do you remember the morning after my first night here?
我不懂为什么人们老是问我记不记得
I don't know why everyone keeps asking if I remember things.
我不记得
I don't.
原则上来说
Just as a general rule,
如果你的问题以"你记不记得"开头
if your question begins, "Do you remember"
而不是以"你有多恨《红磨坊》结尾"
and doesn't end with "How much you hated Moulin Rouge,"
那答案都是不
The answer's no.
我很高兴终于能住在一个可以做煎饼的地方了
I was so happy to have a place to stay that I made pancakes.
你不停地吃我就不停地做
And you kept eating them so I kept making them.
然后你就因为我让你吃了那么多煎饼而发火
And then you got mad at me for letting you eat so many pancakes.
你追我绕着泳池跑
You tried to chase me around the pool,
但你宿醉未醒还一肚子煎饼
but you were too hungover and also full from the pancakes
所以你就小睡了一会
so instead... you took a nap.
然后你醒了你说"谢谢你的煎饼
And when you woke up, you said, "Thanks for the pancakes.
现在滚出我家"
Now get out of my house."
我一点都不记得了
I don't remember any of that.
不管怎么说我终于要搬走了如你所愿
Well, anyway, I'm finally moving out, just like you wanted.
很好老实说没有我你可能会更好
Good. Honestly, you'll probably be better off without me.
是啊但我们也有快乐的时光吧
Yeah. But we had some good times, though, right?
-是吗 -好吧保重
- Did we? - Right. Well, um, take care.
我希望你能想办法开心起来波杰克
Hey, I hope you can find a way to be happy, BoJack.
-真的 -好吧
- I really do. - Yeah, okay.
陶德
Hey, Todd?
你得给老娘振作起来
You need to get your shit together.
鲁塔贝格和我准备开一家新的事务所
Rutabaga and I are starting a new agency.
我希望能雇你来帮名流写推特
I want you to come onboard and write celebrity tweets.
-我不知道要怎么写 -你可是枪手
- I don't know how to do that. - You're a ghost-writer.
这跟写书一样
It's the same as writing a book,
只不过更短看的人也更多
they're just a lot shorter and more people read them.
好吧可你为什么要帮我
All right, but why are you helping me?
因为我现在的生活一团糟
Because my life is a mess right now
而且每次我不知道该怎么照顾自己的时候
and I compulsively take care of other people
我就会强迫性地照顾别人
when I don't know how to take care of myself.
我还希望是因为你相信我
Oh. I was hoping it was because you believed in me.
我才不信你
I don't.
咯咯号♥
欢迎各位登上我的咯咯号♥
Welcome to my Giggleship.
对我们来说这个场所将帮助我们认清自我
For us, it's a place to realize our higher selves.
对于付钱的公众来说这就是个8.99元
For the paying public, it's a place to watch improv
看即兴剧喝兑了水的玛格丽塔酒的地方
and drink watered-down margaritas for 8.99.
那咱必须得多赚点钱啊
Wow, we must all make a lot of money.
不我们是雇你来历练和表演的
No, no, you just get paid in experience and stage time.
-这可比钱要好得多 -你说啥
- Which in a way is even better than money. - Say what?
到你的起居室了
Look, We've arrived at your living quarters.
小哥我再也不用睡沙发了
Wow. No more couch-sleeping for this guy.
我有床垫睡啦
He gets a mattress.
这样想就对了
That's the spirit.
你可以利用即兴剧表演
And you can use improv
把这间房♥间变成你想象的样子
to make this room anything you want it to be.
我的客舱可你的一样但当我利用想象力
My cabin is exactly like yours, but when I use my imagination,
它就变成了装满宝藏的豪华特等客舱
it becomes a rich stateroom with a treasure chest full of booty.
我最喜欢大宝贝了你懂吧
I like a big booty, if you know what I mean.
我说的可不是腚
And I don't mean a butt.
你真是妙语连珠啊
You really are the master of spontaneous witticisms.
好了准备好了吗就是现在了
All right, you ready? This is go time.
从此再也没有回头路了
There's no turning back now.
-我准备好了 -很好
- Oh, I am ready. - Great.
那咱就出去
Now let's get out there
告诉那群垃圾饭桶废物狗♥杂♥种♥们
and tell all those garbage rat bastard sons of bastards
我们对他们的看法一了百了
what we really think of them, once and for all.
各位我们有话要说
Everyone. We have an announcement.
各位我们有话要说
Guys, we have an announcement.
-怎么了 -威瑟斯彭先生住院了
- What's going on? - Mr. Witherspoon's in the hospital.
他中风了
He had a stroke.
你知道你们这群狗♥杂♥种♥们能抚摸什么吗
Well, you know what you rat bastards can stroke?
我又大又多毛的
My big, hairy...
好吧这下彻底无路可退了
Well, we burned that bridge.
咯咯号♥
陶德你就该被藏在魔术师的袖子里
Todd, you should be up a magician's sleeve
因为你实在太搞笑了[是一张牌]
because you are a card.
喂布莱恩这是怎么了
Hey, Bryan. What's going on here?
-他拒绝擦洗地板 -布莱恩
- He refused to scrub the floors. - Oh, Bryan.
求你们了我的膝盖抽筋了只能站着
Please. My knees were cramping so I needed to stand.
但我擦玻璃也很棒的你们看
But I'm real good at cleaning windows. Look.
装得还挺像嘛
That's solid space-work.
布莱恩别担心我这就去找哥白尼
Bryan, don't worry. I'm gonna go to Copernicus
把这件事解决了
and get this sorted out.
哥白尼
哥白尼哥白尼
Copernicus? Uh, Copernicus?
《101个屁♥股♥笑话》
One Hundred and One Butt Jokes?
"屁♥股♥[后方]不许停车"
"No parking in the rear?"
-哥白尼是个骗子 -你是在说我吗
- Copernicus is a fraud! - A fraud? Me?
我本来对你期望很高的陶德
I had such high hopes for you, Todd.
通常我会说个恰到好处的屁♥股♥笑话
Normally, I'd make a perfectly timed butt joke here,
不过你也看到了书现在在你手上
but as you can see, I don't have my book.
警卫把这个危险分子送去"好的而且"室
Guards, take this subversive to the Yes And room.