马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S02E04

Part 3 Feb. 16, 2020, 4:10 p.m.

同样我大多数家人也死了
Ditto, most of my family.
听着他俩会争吵又不是你的过错
Look, what happened back there is not your fault.
两个人在一起生活难免会发生争吵
That's just what happens when two people live together.
跟刚和你同居的女友说这种话
That's a weird thing to say to your girlfriend
真是够诡异的
who just moved in with you.
你会不会觉得咱俩进展有点太快了
Do you think maybe we're going too fast?
我懂了
Oh, I get it.
所以说你那两个朋友一争吵
So your friends got in a big fight
我俩也得一起吵咯
and that means we have to get in a big fight.
我并不想吵架
I don't want to get in a fight.
只是我们还没经过深思熟虑就同居了
We moved in together without much thought.
对啊这还是你的主意日子过得也不错
Yeah, it was your idea. And it's been great.
没错现在日子是过得不错
Sure, it's great now.
但过一阵子就不一定了
But it could be not great later
我觉得如果没有及早地
and I feel like I'd be a bad boyfriend
对此事抓狂一下我就是个渣男
if I didn't prematurely freak out about that.
我想说到底是咋了
I mean, what is this?
我也不知道才同居两星期
I don't know. It's been two weeks.
在急着乱下论断之前咱先缓缓吧
Let's give ourselves some time before we rush to judgment.
我能讲个笑话吗
Can I tell you a joke?
讲吧
Sure.
有这么一位园丁听好了哦
Okay, so there's this gardener, right?
是有关大自然的笑话吗
Is this a joke about nature?
-你能先好好听完吗 -好好
- Would you just listen? - Okay, okay.
这园丁身上最神奇的一点
So, the amazing thing about this gardener
莫过于他总是能只通过观察来准确预测
is that he always knows exactly how many bags of mulch
种植工作需要多少包化肥
he needs for a job, just by looking.
而他每次都预测对了他是最顶尖的
Like, he gets it right every time. He's the best.
有一天他看了看他正在劳作的庭院
So, one day he looks at a yard he's working on,
就推测 "需要18包"
and he's like, "18 bags."
于是他跑进商店
So he goes to the store,
买♥♥了18包化肥回来开始劳作
buys 18 bags of mulch and goes to work.
当他完成劳作之后整个花圃看起来美极了
And when he's finished, the flower beds are amazing.
里面种着美丽的玫瑰百合还有
Beautiful roses, beautiful lilies, beautiful...
兰花丛
Orchid bushes?
兰花不是一丛一丛的
You wouldn't have a bush of orchids.
抱歉可你说这个园丁是最顶尖的
I'm sorry, you said this gardener was the best.
好吧没问题里面还有美丽的兰花从
Okay, fine, all right, beautiful orchid bushes.
但问题来了
But there's one problem.
他居然还有一包化肥没用
He still has one bag of mulch left.
他觉得难以置信
He can't believe it.
那可是从未发生过的
This has never happened before.
多出来的那包化肥开始缠绕心头
Well, the extra bag of mulch drives him crazy.
他可是每次都能准确做出神预测的那个男人啊
He's the guy who always gets the right amount of mulch.
他开始想 "多出来一包不"
He's like, "Aah! Extra mulch, oh, no!"
于是在他开车回家的路上他把那包化肥
So, on the drive home, he throws the bag of mulch
从车窗扔到了101国道的路边
out the window over the side of the 101.
-然后呢 -故事结束啦
- And? - Well, that's it.
他把化肥扔出窗外了
He throws it out the window.
这就是梗吗
That's the punch line?
-还挺发人深思的 -当然
- It's kind of a thinker. - I'll say.
这让我深思你是不是忘了那笑话剩下的部分
Makes me think you forgot the rest of the joke.
不不好好想想那幅画面
No, no, oh, just picture it.
他开到101号♥国道然后把一包化肥
He's on the 101, and he throws the bag of mulch
从车里扔到路边
out over the side of the freeway.
这故事我懂
I got the narrative.
但那不是让我感到困惑的地方
That wasn't the source of my confusion.
我是在困惑这个笑话居然不好笑
The confusion was about the joke not being funny.
为什么所有事情都要好笑才行呢
Why does everything have to be funny?
并非所有事情都要好笑
Everything doesn't always have to be funny.
但笑话必须
Just jokes.
可电视台的人都很喜欢
Well, everyone at the network loves it.
抱歉我又想到那个梗
Sorry, I just thought about it again.
-化肥 -听着旺达
- Mulch. - Listen, Wanda.
或许我们在急着发展到现在这种关系的同时
I think maybe there's some things we kind of glossed over
忽略了一些重要的东西
as we rushed into this relationship.
我们压根不了解彼此
We don't know each other at all.
或许我们应该各自退一步然后...
Maybe we should take a step back and...
波杰克小心
BoJack, watch out!
不
Oh, no!
刚刚那是什么
What was that?
棍子吗树枝吗或者什么都不是
A stick? Tree branch? Nothing?
我听到有人在喊 "不"
I heard someone scream, "Oh, no."
是啊棍子被车撞时
Yeah, that's the sound a stick makes
就会发出这种声音
when you hit it with your car.
好吧我去看看那根棍子是否安好
Fine. I'll see if the stick's okay.
你挡在马路中♥央♥是想干吗
Hey, what are you doing here in the middle of the road?
你脑袋是被门夹了吗
Are you crazy?
波杰克咱们撞到一头鹿了
BoJack, we just hit a deer.
得马上送他去医院
We have to get him to a hospital.
他到树林里会没事的
He's fine. He's in the woods.
撞到鹿以后
You know, you hit a deer
他们会一瘸一拐地走进树林...
and they limp off to the woods to...
继续过好日子
continue living their lives.
你要干吗
What are you doing?
我要找到他然后救助他
I'm going to find him and I'm going to help him.
如果你要大半夜在林中漫步你就自己去疯吧
If you wanna go for a walk in the woods at night, go crazy,
我哪儿都不会去的
but I'm not going anywhere.
好你自个儿去
Okay, knock yourself out.
我就坐这儿边听电台边等
I'll wait here, just me and my tunes.
欢迎收听"大家来我家"
It's A Prairie Home Companion...
-不 -将会连播
- Oh, no. -...marathon...
-整整72小时... -天哪
- for the next 72 hours... - Oh, God.
-全程无广♥告♥ -不听你了
- commercial-free... - No, thank you.
-并在所有频道同步播出 -搞什么
-on every single channel - What?!
真操蛋
Damn it.
波杰克前来营救
BoJack to the rescue.
咱们回去吧在这儿什么都做不了
We should go back. Nothing more we can do here.
如果你不想和我一起来的话就在车里等着
If you don't wanna do this with me, you can wait in the car.
你具体打算怎么做
What is your plan here exactly?
怎么怎么了
What? What is it?
有脚印就在400码开外
Footprints, 400 yards ahead.
天这么黑你怎么能看那么远
How can you see that far in the dark?
我是只猫头鹰啊
I'm an owl.
也是
Oh, right.
够了现在你就是赤♥裸♥裸地炫耀了
Okay, now you're just showing off.
你还好吗
Are you okay?
退后我这儿还有更多可以扔的松果
Stay back! There's more pinecones where that came from.
我们送你去医院吧
Let us take you to the hospital.
我不能去医院
I can't go back to no hospital.
这已经是我今年第四次被撞了
This is the fourth time I've been hit this year.
谁叫你穿迷彩运动服出来乱晃
Maybe you shouldn't wear camouflage track suits.
我没有医保
I don't have health care.
我没钱付账单都赊账了
I didn't pay my bills, so I'm in arrears.
一只赊账的鹿
A deer in arrears.
那是什么她听不到啊
What's that? She can't hear you.
她耳朵旁边有只鹿
She's got a deer in her ears.
伙计我来掏钱
Look, pal, I'll pay the bill,
你就就让我们送你去医院吧
just-- Just let us get you to a damn hospital.
这样好吗
I don't know.
我知道你受伤了很害怕
Hey,I know you've been hurt and I know you're afraid.
我们都很害怕
We're all afraid.
但你要相信我们
But you have to trust us.
会没事的
It's gonna be okay.
别站在路中间
Not standing in the middle of the road
也会有帮助的在将来
will also help, in the future.
你不会再伤害我了吗
You're not gonna hurt me again?
我不会伤害你
I am not going to hurt you.
好吧
Okay.
从现在开始
Starting now.