早间新闻

The Morning Show S01E07

Part 6 Feb. 11, 2020, 11:41 a.m.

并且我希望这些可以满足我
And I want that to be enough.
这就是我想让你来《美国日间秀》的原因
See? This is why I want you on YDA.
丹尼尔你是一个帅气
Daniel, you are a beautiful,
深情虽然乏味但爱着正经新闻的男人
deep-feeling, boring man who loves hard news.
-我没在开玩笑 -我也没有
- I'm not kidding. - Neither am I.
人们看《美国日间秀》因为它很有趣
Okay, people watch YDA because it's fun.
它轻快活泼吉米和我已经包揽了这部分
It's light, it's poppy. And Jimmy and I, we have that covered.
老天我是很享受采访
Hell, I enjoy interviewing
70年代风靡的英国乐队组合
依旧健在的湾市狂飙者乐队成员
the surviving members of the Bay City Rollers.
但我们永远都无法单凭搞笑来击败《早间新闻》
But we are never going to beat TMS by being fun.
我们需要乏味我们需要严肃
We need boring. We need gravitas.
我们需要政♥治♥信誉
We need political credibility.
而这正是你所拥有的
And you have that coming out the wazoo.
《早间新闻》正值脆弱时期
TMS is vulnerable right now.
那里有我在乎的人
There are people there that I care about,
有会因我的跳槽而受伤的人
people that would be hurt if I jump.
艾莉森杨科
Alison, Yanko...
对我知道你《少数派报告》里的可爱朋友
Yes. I know. Your lovely friends at the Minority Report.
-你这是不当攻击 -但很准确
- Low blow. - Accurate.
仍旧跳槽很难的
Still. It's not easy.
《早间新闻》的大家庭早已破败
Well, the TMS family is broken,
在这之中除了米奇和爱丽克丝
and it never really included
谁都未曾真正被纳入其中
anyone whose name wasn't Mitch or Alex.
你知道的如果你在健康网站上看到过的话
And, you know, if you've seen it on WebMD or something.
尽快
As soon as possible,
但告诉他们我不想要知道
but tell them I don't wanna know.
-好 -谢谢
- All right. - Thank you.
其他的家庭成员呢
Where's the rest of the family?
我不知道也许他们在遛狗
I don't know. Maybe they're walking the dog.
真是有趣的一家人
Funny kind of family.
对内忧外患的一家
Yep. Dysfunctional.
真的家不也这样吗
Just like a real family.
行了我回来了
All right. I'm back.
都在这
All here.
我们来捕捉这狗屁快乐瞬间吧
Let's capture this happy shit.
-我能和你谈谈吗 -行
- Can I talk to you for a second? - Yeah.
所以显然下周的某个时候我必须
So, apparently I have to
在节目里宣布我离婚的事
announce my divorce on the show sometime next week.
-天我真抱歉 -没事
- Gosh. I'm sorry. - That's okay.
我只是想给你提前敲个警钟
I just wanted to give you the heads-up.
准备好对应尴尬的直播时刻
So, be prepared for some awkward airtime.
缓解尴尬的直播时刻是我的专长
Well, awkward airtime is my specialty.
但还是谢谢你的提醒
But thank you for the heads-up.
显然这事儿你不能和别人说
Yeah. And obviously this stays between us.
-当然 -行谢谢
- Of course. - Okay. Thank you.
我只是必须时刻注意言行
I just have to be so careful about what I say.
我刚刚见了一名女公♥关♥
I mean, I just met with his PR woman
给我吓得不行
twho scared the crap out of me.
使我知道我正在走入这充满猜忌的雷区
Reminded me that I'm walking into this land mine of speculation and...
猜测我的婚姻我的心智还有
about my marriage and my sanity and...
米奇
Mitch.
操我不知道还有你和我
Fuck, I don't know, you and me.
也许我俩相爱了
Maybe you and I are in love.
天我倒宁愿是那样
God, that would be preferable.
听起来都挺残酷如果你有需要我就在这
Well, that all sounds brutal. I'm here if you need anything.
好吗
Okay?
等等
Wait.
实际上
Actually.
也许我俩可以合作一把
Maybe we could work on something together?
关于你的离婚声明
For your divorce announcement?
对在我需要声明的时候
Yeah. I mean, you're sitting right there
-你就坐在我身边 -对
- when I have to do it. - Right.
你知道的我俩可以用对话的形式说出来
You know, we could make it into a dialogue.
而且因为你的特长似乎是
And since your specialty seems to be...
接地气
being human.
不妨试试
Couldn't hurt.
我们可以今晚在我公♥寓♥边吃饭边讨论
I mean, we could workshop it over dinner tonight at my apartment.
-那会很棒 -是吗
- That would be great. - Yeah?
对我喜欢这个提议
Yeah. I would love that.
我会带些吃的过去
I'll bring some food.
那些你不用管我会料理好的
You don't have to do that. I have it covered.
-行 -行了女士们
- Okay. - Okay, ladies.
-好 -你们看起来美极了且准备好了
- Yeah. - You look beautiful. And you're ready.
要不我们就开始吧
So, what do you say we do this?
行
All right.
-来吧家庭照时间 -天
- Let's go be a family. - Oh, God.
-拍照 -行了大伙来吧
- Pictures. - Okay, guys. Come on.
-开始了 -开心开心点
- Here we go. - Happy. Happiness.
开心一家人很好一二三
Happy family. Good. One, two, three.
很好大大的笑脸
Good. Big smiles.
臀部朝我这边挪一点可以
Tilt your hips towards me a tiny bit. Good.
-看起来很好保持住 -严肃点还是带笑
- That looks good. Right there. Freeze. - Serious or smiling?
很棒就这样这张拍得赞
That's nice. Right there. That's a good shot.
一二三好的稍微抬一下头
One, two, three. Good. Chins up a little bit.
朝这边转一下这样就能向前倾点
Shift a little bit this way so you can lean in.
很好微笑很好
Good. Good. Smile. Great. Good idea.
-太美了 -大家都知道我这侧不好看
- Beautiful. - Everybody knows this is my wrong side...
你哪侧都好看
There is no wrong side for you.
-别瞎说 -我喝了咖啡
-Stop it. - I had caffeine.
谢谢
Thank you.
很好布莱德丽稍微抬下头
Good. Bradley, chin up a little bit?
一二三很好面带笑容很好
One, two, three. Good. Big smiles. There we go.
尼基只是在开玩笑
You know, Nicky was just making a joke.
他是个好孩子
He's a good kid.
不该因为开玩笑而葬送他的人生
Shouldn't have his life ruined over making a joke.
-他也道歉了 -不是我炒的他齐普炒的他
- I mean, he apologized. - I didn't fire him. Chip fired him.
你说是就是吧
If you say so.
巴特别说了
Bart, drop it.
行我不说了
Yeah. I'll drop it.
可某些人啊永远不知道住嘴二字怎么写
Some other people are never gonna drop it though.
各位
Hi, everyone.
能听我说几句吗
Can I have your attention, please?
我是米娅·乔丹
It's Mia Jordan here.
-大家能听我说几句吗 -怎么回事
- Can I have everyone's attention? - What is that?
各位
Hi.
我就是那个被鄙视的过于玻璃心的女人
I'm the scorned, oversensitive woman
-睡了首席主播 -该死
- who screwed the lead anchor... - Oh, fuck.
只为了自己的事业
To help her career.
害得他被开除了
And got him fired
即便他那时不想离开自己的妻子
when he didn't want to leave his wife.
现在我要重回猎场了哦
And now I'm out for blood.
所以各位屌♥星人最好小心点
So, everybody with a dick better be careful
因为我现在讨厌男人
'cause she hates dicks now.
男人们当心
Dicks, beware!
不要半夜独自出门
Don't leave your home at night without an escort,
因为本浪荡复仇女权婊
because the vengeful, slutty, feminist bitch,
米娅·乔丹出没在外
Mia Jordan, is out there somewhere.
我们应该做些什么吗
Well, should we do something here?
不应该让她说让她说完
No, no, we should let her speak. Let her speak.
-听着米娅抱歉 -你可他妈闭嘴吧巴特
- Look, Mia, I'm sorry. - You can shut the fuck up, Bart.
好的各位我懂
Okay, everyone, I got it.
我很清楚大家是怎么议论我的
I'm well aware of what everyone is saying about me.
现在显而易见
And now apparently,
是我害得尼基被开除了
I personally got Nicky fired,
是我把米奇的事泄露给了《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》
and I leaked about Mitch to the Times,
我也相信自己是十二宫杀手
and I'm sure I'm also the Zodiac Killer,
60年代美国连环杀人犯
我可能还刺杀了弗朗茨·斐迪南大公
and I probably assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand.
奥匈帝国皇储
名单可长着呢
I mean, this fucking list goes on.
很多我都可以否认