金色年代

The Goldbergs S06E14

Part 1 Dec. 7, 2019, 2:08 p.m.

八十年代是体育喜剧的顶峰
The '80s was the peak of the sports comedy,
以及我的最爱《大联盟》
and my favorite -- "Major League."
我喜欢经典的弱者翻身故事
I loved the classic underdog story
一队不合群的人用有争议的方法
of a team of misfits who used questionable methods
以及巫毒术成为了冠军
and voodoo to become champions.
这电影用场上的小把戏
They actually make sports tolerable
让我看得下去体育了
with their on-field shenanigans.
而巴瑞超爱那个疯狂牛逼的投球手
And Barry loved the unhinged, badass pitcher,
"野小子"
"Wild Thing."
哥们野小子不能控制他的脾气和快球
Dude, Wild Thing can't control his rage or his fastball.
就像我一样
That's just like me.
没错这最棒了
Yep, there was nothing better
支持垫底队伍对抗邪恶老板
than rooting for the ragtag team with the evil owner.
你想让我们输
You want us to lose?
我想让我们得最后一名
What I want is for us to finish dead last.
然后有一天
And then one day,
《大联盟》变成了大现实
"Major League" became a major reality.
你想见我厄尔
You wanted to see me, Earl?
我最喜欢的木工课老师来了
Ah, there's my favorite shop teacher.
别扯没用的了
We should cut the chitchat.
我还要给63个鸟舍评分
I have 63 birdhouses to grade.
正是这种声明让我相信
See, that is just the kind of statement that leads me to believe
-你正是能帮上我的完美人选 -帮啥
- you're the perfect man to help me out. - ‭With?
-我想解散棒球队 -哦
- I want to get rid of the baseball team. - ‭Sure.
梅勒教练走了球队就不行了
See, Coach Mellor's departure has left the team in shambles.
哦
Sure.
他们差到就连校报
They're so bad that even the school paper
都不再试图往好听了写
has stopped trying to spin the losses.
假如我们的球队继续水平烂到爆
If our team keeps playing like hot garbage,
我就能说服董事会放弃项目
I could convince the board to drop the program
-用那些钱解决预算问题 -哦
- and spend that money fixing our budgeting issues. ‭- Sure.
所以你要做我们的新棒球教练
Which is why you're gonna be our new baseball coach.
什么我对棒球一无所知
What? I don't know anything about the game.
我小时候只玩过木工运动
A-all I played growing up were timber sports.
木工运动
Timber sports?
滚圆木速伐
Log rolling, speed felling,
速削速磨
speed whittling, speed sanding.
帮我输掉比赛
Yeah, you help me lose
你一直想要的那台荒唐的圆盘踞
and that absurd radial arm saw you've been requesting
-就是你的了 -击球员就位
- is all yours. - ‭Batter up.
我擅自锁定了一些
I have taken the liberty of tracking down
适合球队的新队员
some new recruits for the team.
他们都刚好
They all happen to be students
是运动额度不达标的学生
who have been dodging their athletic requirements,
我想你明白我的意思祝君好运
if you catch my drift. Good luck.
就这样克罗斯比老师
And with that, Mr. Crosby
开始组建史上最糟的高中球队
set out to assemble the worst high-school team of all time.
瞧瞧我的鞋带没绑好
Would you look at that? My shoes are untied.
最好在我绊倒前系好
Better lace these up before I trip.
不管你在演什么鬼到此结束
That is a wrap on whatever the hell this is.
赶紧去体育馆小伙子们
Get your hands and feet to the gym, boys.
好了你死于痢疾
All right, you've died of dysentery.
该练体育了
Time to play sports.
-我能不能先存档 -赶紧到体育馆去
- Can I save my -- - Go! Get your ass to the gym.
快快快快快
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
随我来金戴夫
Come with me, Dave Kim.
是因为我鸟舍作业没交吗
Is this about my birdhouse?
我需要延期
I need an extension.
大卫·西罗塔杰西·韦德斯
David Sirota, Jessie Wudders,
别再装政♥府♥玩了
stop playing pretend government
该练真正的棒球了
and start playing real baseball.
可我只有乐福鞋
But I-I only own penny loafers.
比我想象得还容易
This is gonna be easier than I thought.
更不必说
Needless to say,
我哥对球队的新队员很不满意
my brother wasn't thrilled with our team's new rookies.
我不明白
I don't get it.
我们整个赛季一场比赛都没赢过
We haven't won a game all season.
现在他们又让你们这些傻蛋来拖后腿
Now they're hamstringing us with you turds?
我们也不想来
Hey, we don't wanna be here either.
你穿的什么东西
And what are you wearing?
教练少了一套运动服
Coach was a uniform short,
所以我穿的是《失魂记》戏服
so I'm wearing my costume from "Damn Yankees."
亚当今天是我第一天开始投球
Adam, today is my first pitching start,
不能让他们毁了
and they are not gonna ruin it.
别紧张我们不过是来补满运动额度的
Relax. We're just here to satisfy our sports requirement.
教练绝对不会让我们上场
There's no chance Coach will ever put us in.
队员们都听好了
Okay, listen up, team.
首发阵容有所变动
There's been some changes to the starting lineup.
游击手金戴夫
Shortstop -- Dave Kim.
不
Nooo!
他可是所有金戴夫里最差的金戴夫
He's, like, the worst Dave Kim of all the Dave Kims.
下一个
Moving on.
-右外野亚当·金伯格 -什么
- Playing right field, Adam Goldberg. - What?!
他斜视身子也斜
He's got a lazy eye and the body to match.
通常我会反驳但我现在也很绝望
Normally, I'd object but I'm desperate here.
你看啊
Look at it.
就这眼睛怎么接棒球
These eyes cannot catch a baseball.
老天快把矫正镜戴回去
Oh, God. Put back on the corrective lenses, man.
求你了
Please.
金色年代第六季第十四集
那是一九八几年的一月三十日
It was January 30, 1980-something,
杰丽卡的一个重要纪念日
a landmark day for Gerica.
亲亲纪念日快乐
Happy Kissa-versary.
送你一束郁金香
Here are some tulips
庆祝我的嘴唇亲到你的嘴唇那天
to celebrate the day these two lips first kissed those two lips.
恶心不过好贴心
Ew. But also aww.
等等还有
And wait, there's more.
我还订了去波克诺山的浪漫周末
I also booked us a romantic getaway to the Poconos.
波克诺山
Poconos?
那是景色优美的同时最经济实惠的山脉
That's our most scenic and budget-friendly mountain range.
没错快打包吧小姑娘
You know it. Get packing, lady.
太棒了
This is amazing.
就我们两个
The two of us, alone.
你是怎么说服你♥爸♥同意的
How did you convince your dad to say yes?
很简单
Oh, it was easy.
主要是因为我还没告诉他
Uh, mostly because I haven't done it yet.
但我有个零失败的计划
But I have a foolproof plan.
我要对他说谎
I'm going to lie to him.
白白高兴一场
Well, this was a fun ride.
我去租部电影吧
I'll just rent us a movie.
别这样你是暗示我不会说谎吗
Oh, come on. What, are you implying I can't lie?
我会我总说谎
I can lie. I lie all the time.
你真心不会而且你说谎时
You really don't. And when you do,
会立即放弃然后过度弥补
you bail immediately and then overcompensate
说出内心很私人的秘密
by revealing a deeply personal secret
谁也不想听
that nobody wants to know.
你想的肯定是其他没技巧的骗子
Surely you're thinking of some other unskilled liar.
妈
Hey, Mom,
杰夫对你这身爵士健美操服有些看法
Geoff has some thoughts on your new Jazzercise ensemble
他想和你分享一下
that he wants to share with you.
你很喜欢是不是杰夫瑞
Ah, don't you just love it, Geoffrey?
莱卡很合身
The Lycra is form-fitting,
但又让我有探索动作的自♥由♥
but it still gives me the freedom to explore all my moves.
我觉得这些大胆的颜色很好看
Uh, well, I suppose I enjoy the bold colors
袖子的长度也我的天
and the sleeve length and -- oh, my God.
还有有次在夏令营
Also, one time at summer camp,
我吸了一口雪茄
I took a puff of a cigar
让我特别恶心
and then it made me really nauseous
后来我吐到湖里了
and I threw up in a lake.
就这样吧
And there it is.
于是要靠我姐来编造一个完美谎言