金色年代

The Goldbergs S06E13

Part 3 Dec. 7, 2019, 2:08 p.m.

The year is 2033,
犯罪率创历史新高火山随处可见
crime is at an all time high and volcanoes are everywhere!
这是什么玩意
What is this?
我们说好你只拍十字路口
We agreed you were only gonna film the stop signs.
相信我
Trust me.
得用故事钩住观众们
You need to hook in the audience with a story.
总统的飞机坠毁在珍金镇了
The President's plane has crash landed in Jenkintown.
那可是禁区
That's the forbidden sector.
只有你能帮我们了
Only you can help us!
我台词没说错吧
Is that right, what I'm saying?
哪怕我只有一只眼交给我
Even though I only have one eye, I'll do it.
我会救出总统
I'll save the President.
该行动了什么都阻止不了我
It's go time. Nothing will stop me!
总统没等斯内克赶到就爆♥炸♥了
The President blew up before Snake could get to him.
任务失败了
The mission has failed.
我真心搞不懂这剧情
I'm re-I'm really not following the story --
我们需要一个停车标志
We need a stop sign.
好吧
Okay.
我一点都没看懂
Well, I did not understand any of that,
但我是真心想让你走人
but I really would like you not to be here,
所以你的停车标志我准了
so I'm gonna give you that stop sign.
这么说这个案子我赢了
So...I won the case?
法庭都被你审了
You took comptrol of the courtroom.
也就是我办公室算你赢了
Which is my office, so, yeah, sure.
太好了
Great!
那你快敲木槌正式宣判
So just, uh, bang the gavel and make it official.
我没木槌这样吧
Well, I don't have a ga-- You know what?
我敲这个芬达罐子
Let me just do this Fanta can.
这起大案我们赢了
We won the big case!
太惊人了
Amazing!
我演得怎么样
How did I play?
不怎么样但老妈势不可挡
Not great, but Mom was on fire.
不得不承认
I gotta admit,
尽管这整件事不能更没必要了
even if the whole thing is aggressively pointless,
你能实际做出改变还是挺酷的
it's kind of cool you actually made a difference.
要知道这对我真的很重要
You know, this is really important to me,
你说话总这么损我受够了
and I am damn tired of your sass mouth!
不是损你
No sass.
我知道想做成一件事有多难
I know how hard it is to get things done.
我写一首歌♥
I mean, I've been working on one song
已经写了三个月
for the last three months,
到现在写出来的只有
and so far, all I've got is...
*这个吧那个吧这个吧*
*Something, something, something*
*和你朋友安德烈*
*And your friend Andre*
这也太烂了
And that is not good.
安德烈是他妈谁啊
I mean, who the hell is Andre?
我觉得很上口
I think it's catchy.
重点是我为你骄傲
Point is, I'm proud of you.
谢谢你宝贝你猜怎么着
Oh, thank you, Boopie, and you know what?
我决定了
I've made a decision.
我要实现我的潜能做一名潜在律师
I am going to realize my potential as a potential lawyer.
我的天你是认真的吗
Oh, my God, are you serious?
我认真得很
You're damn right I am!
贝弗莉·金伯格要他妈当律师了
Beverly Goldberg's gonna be a fxxxxxxx lawyer!
当我爸发现巴瑞的大学简历没有料
Once my dad found out Barry's college resume was light,
就以给简历加料为己任
he made it his mission to bulk it up.
技巧是利用一点真实信息
The trick is to take a nugget of truth,
稍微换个说话
and you spin it a little.
你参加很多体育运动对吧
You do play a lot of sports, right?
冰球摔角橄榄球
Hockey, wrestling, football.
白♥痴♥ 假如你参加过这么多体育项目
Moron, if you played a bunch of sports,
为什么不写进大学简历里
why aren't any of them on your college resume?!
原因有很多
A variety of reasons,
但主要是因为没通过选拔赛
but mostly 'cause of unsuccessful tryouts.
所以三个项目你都稍微练过
So you played all three for a little bit,
所以你至少是三校队运动员
so you're at least a three-letter varsity player,
以及MVP
and an MVP.
我从没得过MVP
I never won MVP.
你是从没得过最具价值球员
You never won Most Valuable Player,
但"MVP"可以代表任何意思
but "MVP" could stand for anything.
比如神奇的天鹅绒裤子
Like Magic Velvet Pants?
谁会得神奇的天鹅绒裤子
Who wins Magic Velvet Pants?
我不知道精灵吧
I don't know. A genie?
我们要不要也写上我是个精灵
Should we put down that I'm a genie, too?
换下一个
Let's move on.
说过了体育
So we covered sports.
说说看社区服务如何
What about community service?
我想我的确算是社区一分子
I guess I am in the community
因为我常在社区里闲逛
when I'm walking around the community.
听起来你是社区警卫队队长
Wow, sounds like you're the head of a neighborhood watch.
我有时还对着狗大叫
And I do shout at dogs sometimes.
我觉得你是在训练服务犬
Seems to me that you train service animals.
我认为我抓到要领了
I think I'm getting the hang of this,
例如有次我和老爷子玩跳棋
like that one time I played checkers with Pops.
我基本上是"自愿陪伴悲伤老兵"
I was basically "volunteering with sad, old veterans."
完美再说些来听听
Perfect, throw more at me!
就这样我爸把我哥所有的滑稽事
And with that, my dad spun all of my brother's antics
都变成了简历加分项
into resume gold.
他糟糕的极限单车变成了
His bad BMX-ing became...
校单车队
School cycling team.
-在体育馆胡闹变成了 -体操运动员
- Goofing off in the gymnasium became... - Gymnast!
试图一口吃掉一个苹果变成了
Trying to eat an apple in one bite became...
艾萨克·牛顿学会会长
Head of the Isaac Newton Society.
不管这是啥变成了
Doing whatever this is became...
重力实验选修课
Gravity experiments elective.
-走走路变成了 -纠察
- Just walking became... - Hall monitor!
他对《大金刚》的一生痴迷变成了
His lifelong obsession with Donkey Kong became...
灵长类兽医的无偿助手
Unpaid assistant to a primate physician.
-扮成海盗变成了 -海盗
- And dressing as a pirate became... - ?Pirate!
我这辈子活得太丰富多彩了
Wow, I've led an incredibly rich life.
完全没错
You're damn right you have.
我真是个好父亲
I'm a good dad!
正当我爸对巴瑞的未来很自信时
While my dad was feeling confident about Barry's future,
我妈正准备好改变自己的未来
my mom was getting ready to change hers.
早上好你这可敬的小宝贝
Good morning, your honorable smush bottom!
真精神老妈
Looking good, Mom!
因为今天是第一天
That's because today is the first day
你的熊妈妈要开始成为出庭律师的旅程了
of your mama bear's journey to becoming a trial lawyer.
我知道你能做到
Well, I know you can do it.
还有谁比你更擅长争论
I mean, who's better at arguing than you?
我这身套装的确是半价买♥♥的
Well, I did get this suit at half price
因为肩膀上有块污渍
because of a smudge on the shoulder,
是我点上的后来我洗掉了
which I put there and later removed.
正是这种有问题的道德标准
And those are the kind of questionable morals
会让你成为王牌律师
that will make you an ace attorney.
谢谢你
Thank you.
这里是成为律师需要做的
Okay, so here's what it takes to become a lawyer.
首先你得准备法学院入学考试
First, you'll have to get ready for the LSATs.
无论是坐着学还是站着学
Well, I can LSAT or L-stand.
我都能学好
I can do it all.
但说认真的那是什么考试
Seriously, what is that?
法学院入学考试
It's the Law School Admissions Test,
要准备大概四个月的时间
which takes about four months to prepare for.
之后是申请法学院
And after that, you apply to law school,
要读三年
which is three years.
哪怕我这样得到认可的律政雄鹰也要三年
Even for a proven legal eagle like me?
我本可以成为律师
I mean, I could've been a lawyer.
这总能证明点什么吧
That's got to count for something.
不能继续
It doesn't. Moving on.
毕业后你得通过律师资格考试
So after you graduate, you'll have to pass the bar.
还要考刚才那个法什么都考过了