外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S01E02

Part 1 March 15, 2021, 9:06 a.m.

《外星居民》前情提要
Previously, on "Resident Alien"...
我的任务很简单
My mission was simple:
把我的设备放在他们星球上
drop my device onto their planet
回家
and head back home.
我根本不想靠近他们任何人
I had no intentions of getting close to any of them.
为了完成我的任务
In order to complete my mission,
我得想办法用人形融入这里
I would have to somehow fit in with the human life forms.
哈里·万德斯本格医生昨晚镇上
Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle, we had a murder
发生了一起谋杀案
in town last night.
我们要你来帮我们看看尸体
Need you to come down and take a look at the body.
山姆·霍奇斯中毒了
Sam Hodges was poisoned.
他试图给自己做气管切开术
He tried to give himself a tracheotomy.
-还有个凶手在逍遥法外 -我们还需要你的帮助
- There is a killer out there. - We still need your help.
在一个区区一千人的小镇里
In a town of 1,000 people...
有个小屁孩能看到我的真实形态
There is a kid who can see my true form.
你与众不同我知道那是什么感觉
You're just different. I know what that feels like.
有时我会觉得人类很陌生[像外星人]
Sometimes just feeling human is alien to me.
也许人类还是可以拯救的
Maybe there's something redeemable about the human race after all.
欢迎来到佩西恩斯
可惜等我找到我的装备
Unfortunately for them, when I find my device,
我就终于能完成我的任务
I will finally complete my mission
把他们都杀了
and kill them all.
三个月前
宇宙中的生物都是不一样的
All beings of the universe are different.
举个例子我的族人都很聪明
For instance, my people are brilliant.
人类则很愚蠢
Humans, on the other hand, are so dumb
他们以为死亡最大的主因
that they think the leading cause of death
是心脏病其实不是
is heart disease. It's not.
是杏仁牛奶
It's almond milk.
连小灰人都不碰那玩意
Even the Grey aliens won't touch the stuff.
尽管各有不同但所有的生物
Despite their differences, there is one truth
都有一个共同点
that connects all beings.
生命总是充满了意外
Life doesn't ever go as planned.
怎么回事
What the hell?
救命
Help!
有人吗
Somebody!
救命啊
Help me!
救命
Help!
有人吗
Somebody!
救命
Help!
外星居民
第一季第二集
在科罗拉多山脉寻找
Finding an object the size of a suitcase
一个手提箱大小的东西
in the Colorado Mountains
简直就像是大海捞针
is like looking for a needle in a haystack.
我好几个月来每天都在寻找
I've been searching for my device
我的设备
every day for months.
我还没有找到
I haven't found it yet,
但是找遍了几个山头后
but after searching a half dozen mountains,
我终于发现了我该找的那片海这就足够了
I finally found the haystack, and that's all that matters.
全面灭绝项目
还有要准备参加第一天的工作
Well, that and being on time for my first day of work.
佩西恩斯诊所
麦克斯麦克斯
Max! Max!
他从窗户里冲出来的
He went out the window.
当然了
Of course he did.
这里发生了什么
What the hell happened in here?
-那孩子突然疯了 -什么
- The kid went nuts. - What?
为什么
Why?
我不知道啊
I have no idea.
我要把你的头砍下来
I'm going to cut your head off!
我觉得他的情绪管理有问题
I think he has emotional issues.
我们得打扫干净这个地方
Well, we need to get this place cleaned up.
镇上好几天没有医生了
There hasn't been a doctor on duty in days,
有一堆病人要来呢
and we have a bunch of patients coming in.
别傻站着
Well, don't just stand there.
好吧
Okay.
-麦克斯好了 -数到三伙计
- Max, okay. - Count of three, bud.
你躲在椅子下
You are getting filthy
-好脏 -听你妈妈的话麦克斯
- under there. - Listen to your mother, Max.
他只是在找我的钱包
He's just looking for my wallet.
他是个好孩子我们是好父母
He's a good kid. We're good parents.
我卧室里的那个外星人就在这里
The alien from my bedroom, he's in there.
他就是新来的那个医生
He's the new doctor!
-好吧 -麦克斯我见过新来的医生
- Okay. - Max, I saw the new doctor.
我觉得他不是外星人
He didn't look like an alien to me.
他已经迷惑了你
He's already gotten inside your brain.
-拜托伙计 -你就跟死人一样了
- Come on, buddy. - You're as good as dead.
走吧
Let's go.
你得回去让医生看看
You are going back in there, and you are letting that doctor
你喉咙酸痛是怎么回事
take a look at your sore throat.
我进去看病的时候你可以去买♥♥一口4英尺的棺材
And while I'm in there, you can buy a four-foot coffin.
好了够了
Okay, look, that's enough.
我不想听你继续说这些外星人的话了
I cannot hear about this alien stuff anymore,
不过他可以和我一起去工作去沙发上躺一会儿
but he can come to work with me and lie on the couch.
如果他的喉咙还是很难受
If his throat doesn't feel better,
我就把他带回来号♥码
I'll bring him back, okay?
你也想死了买♥♥三口棺材吧
Oh, now you want to die too. Make that three coffins.
我是认真的
I'm serious.
要是他继续这么闹我们就把他送走
If he keeps this up, we're getting rid of him.
听起来很不错
Sounds good.
香草谢天谢地我就留着你吧
Oh, vanilla, thank God. You I will keep.
爱你
Love you.
这些东西是干什么的
Whoa, whoa, what are you doing with these?
我需要提醒你们
Look, do I need to remind you
这里是镇长办公室
that this side is the mayor's office
那边才是警长的办公室
and that side is the sheriff's office?
我们可有个凶案要破
We got a murder to solve.
我得给那边腾点空间放凶案的东西
I got to make room over there for murder stuff.
是吗这里反正没地方放那些盒子了
Yeah, well, there's no room for those boxes in here, so...
物理定律可不会同意你
Well, the laws of physics would tend to disagree with you
因为它们已经在这里了
since there they are.
警长我想举报一起谋杀案
Sheriff, I'd like to file a murder complaint.
-我知道谁杀了山姆·霍奇斯 -你在说什么
- I know who killed Sam Hodges. - What are you talking about?
是吗
Is that so?
-好啊 -当然请坐
- All right. - Sure, have a seat.
尽管说来听听吧小副警长
Go ahead and lay it on me, little deputy.
是新来的镇医他是个外星人[同外国人]
It's the new doctor. He's an alien.
好了大家都听到了请大伙都出去
Okay, on that note, I'm gonna need everyone out.
这孩子发烧发迷糊了
Kid's a little delusional with a fever.
-最好休息一天别说话 -等等
- Maybe no talking for a day. - Wait, wait, wait, wait.
外国人你是什么意思
An alien? What you mean?
你是说他没有绿卡还是什么的吗
Like, he ain't got a green card or something?
不是是从外太空来的那种外星人
No, like, alien-alien from outer space.
-外太... -杀了我吧
- Outer sp... - And shoot me.
你到底教了这孩子什么鬼啊
What the hell are you teaching this kid, huh?
你知道我可以把你关起来吗
You know I could lock you up for lying
因为你对执法警员撒谎这是犯罪
to an officer of the law? That is a crime.
-你这是在犯罪 -这是个生病的孩子好吗
- You're committing crime. - Got a sick kid, okay?
所有人请出去这有个生病的孩子
Gonna need everyone out. Got a sick kid.
-就... -是啊他真病得不轻
- Just... - Yeah, he's sick all right.
我问你你家里能看HBO吗
Let me ask you something. You got HBO in your house?
我希望你这么做
Here's what I want you to do.
我要你看看《监狱风云》第一季
I want you to watch "Oz" season one,
然后回来告诉我你是否想进监狱
and then come back and tell me if you want to go to prison.
居然说什么外星人的鬼话
Talking about some alien shit.
-我要再去拿几个盒子过来 -不行
- I'm gonna go get me some more boxes. - Uh, no.
我真心希望你别那么做警长
I really wish that you wouldn't do that, Sheriff.
好吧好了
Okay, okay.
我知道警长有时候可能有点刻薄
Hey, I know the sheriff can seem kind of mean sometimes,
可他其实只是个泰迪熊
but he's just a teddy bear...
控制狂还容易生气
With severe control and anger issues.
可他不相信我说的
But he didn't believe me