外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S01E04

Part 3 March 15, 2021, 9:07 a.m.

What is it like?
纽约有...
New York has...
有法律
It has law.
也有秩序
And it has order.
有警♥察♥去侦察犯罪事件
There are police who investigate the crimes,
有地区检察官
and there are district attorneys who...
起诉罪犯
prosecute the offenders.
还有女人在城市里做房♥事
It has women who have sex in the city.
真火♥辣♥
Hot.
等麦克斯读大学后
after Max goes off to college,
本和我会搬去纽约
Ben and I are going to move there.
-真的吗 -我也是第一次听到
- Really? - News to me.
我就是想你也会想要尝试些新事物
Oh, I just thought you would want to try something new.
我是说你从小就住在这里
I mean, you've lived here since you were a kid.
我俩都是一直生活在这
We've both lived here since, like, forever.
麦克斯我在我们比你还小的时候
Hey, Max, I've known your dad
就认识你的爸爸
since we were both younger than you.
知道吧你现在多大十三岁
How about that? What are you, like, 13?
-他九岁 -幼儿园小朋友
- He's nine. - Oh! Kindergartener.
-对吗 -是四年级
- Right? - Mm, fourth grade.
-无所谓 -好吧
- Whatever. - Yep.
你很可爱
You're cute.
达茜和我在菲尔沃斯女士的课上
D'arcy and I sat right next to each other
紧挨着坐
in Ms. Philworth's class.
菲尔沃斯女士
Oh. Mrs. Philworth. Mm.
她超爱放屁
She was a farty party.
还记得吗
Remember that?
好像随时都会放
Just like... Instantly.
相当可怕
It was horrible.
达茜我不知道你俩小时候这么亲密
D'arcy, I had no idea you two were so close growing up.
是啊事实上
Oh, yeah, I mean, in fact,
本本尼是我的初吻
Ben,Benny was my first kiss.
本尼从没说过这事
Benny never mentioned that.
-我确定我以前某次说过 -不你没说过
- I'm sure I did at some point. - Nope. You didn't.
那是五年级的最后一年
It was the last year of fifth grade.
非常浪漫
Very romantic.
我记得我们还从未正式分手
As I recall, I don't think we ever officially broke up.
我的天呐
Oh, my God.
一直以来
This whole time,
我都在背叛你和凯特在一起
I've been cheating on you with Kate.
-你怎么敢这样 -我不知道
- How dare you? - I don't know!
我去再拿些沙拉
I'm gonna get some more salad.
再多拿些葡萄酒你这个小三
More wine too. You bitch.
马上回来
Be right back.
我说的没错吧
Right on that.
亨德森先生
Mr. Henderson...
我想要退货
Yeah, I'd like to get a refund...
可真棒有老年人和警♥察♥在排队
Great. Line of old people and the po po.
你插队到这个小女孩前面了
You cut in front of that little girl.
你在说什么我和你是一起的
What are you talking about? I'm with you.
我们在买♥♥证据袋
We buying evidence bags.
这是警长的公事
This is official sheriff's business.
你是在买♥♥风火轮汽车
You're buying a Hot Wheels car.
这不仅仅是一辆风火轮汽车这是辆六五年的野马
This isn't just a Hot Wheel. This is a '65 Mustang.
我该怎么做不买♥♥它
What am I supposed to do? Not buy it?
然后呢某个小孩买♥♥走它把它带回家
Then what? Some kid buys it, they take it home,
然后在他们家的车道上玩这车
and, playing with it in their driveway,
这车会跑到大街上
the thing goes out into the street.
小孩子跑去追它
They run after it.
然而接下来
The next thing you know,
一辆城市巴士直接撞向他们
a city bus plows right into 'em.
绝不会在我眼皮底下发生
Not on my watch. Mmm.
-他收集这些车 -别跟我说话
- He collects them. Don't talk to me.
我在买♥♥卫生棉而且我很尴尬
I'm buying tampons and I'm embarrassed about it.
输入你的支付密♥码♥
Okay, put in your PIN.
晚饭很成功对吗
Well, the dinner's a success, huh?
这不是很棒吗
Isn't it great
麦克斯和医生相处的这么好
how well Max and the doctor are getting along?
我就是觉得有点奇怪
I just think it's a little weird
你从没告诉过我你和达茜亲热过
you never told me you made out with D'arcy.
怎么你觉得我会生气还是怎么的
I mean, what? Did you think I'd be mad or something?
生气你吗
Mad? You?
当然不会
What? No.
不是什么大事
It's just lt's not a big deal.
那是五年级的事了
It was fifth grade.
绝了你们买♥♥下了你♥爸♥妈的房♥子
It is so cool that you guys bought your parents' house.
一般一般
Oh, yeah, yep.
我们只是比较幸运
Uh, we are very lucky.
没错
Yeah. Mm,hmm.
还记得以前我们坐在沙发上
Just like remember when we were sitting on the couch that one time,
幻想着有一天这能成为我们的房♥子吗
dreaming about how this could be our house one day?
是啊几百万年前的事儿了
Oh, yeah, yeah. A million years ago.
五年级的小孩儿真是高♥瞻♥远瞩
Wow, that is looking ahead for a fifth grader.
其实是高中时期的事儿
Mm. Yeah, this was in tenth grade.
我们高中还在一起过
We dated in tenth grade too.
-是吗 -那可不嘛
- Really? - Yes. Oh, yeah.
我教会了这家伙所有事
Taught this guy everything he knows.
也也不是所有事
Well, not,not everything.
不用太感激我哦
Yes! You're welcome, okay?
-我把这瓶酒带过去咯 -谢谢你了呢
- I'm gonna grab this. - Thanks.
客气
Yeah.
你这是在干吗
What are you doing?
为什么对我这么友好
Why are you being so nice to me?
我有两次机会能杀了你等等
I tried to kill you two times. Wait.
骨锯锯头
Cut your head off with a bone saw,
趁你睡着杀了你
tried to kill you in your sleep,
剪自行车刹车线让你死于意外
cut your brakes so that you'd die in traffic.
三次三次机会差点儿杀了你
Three times. I've tried to kill you three times.
你不是有意的
You didn't mean it.
我是
Yes.
我可一直等着那一天
Yeah, I did. I looked forward to it.
我甚至计划吃掉你
I was even planning on eating some of you
尝看看人类是什么滋味
to see what humans tasted like.
你猜怎么着
You know what?
如果我是外星人的话
I think I'd do the same thing
我会做一样的事
if I were an alien.
可能人尝起来像炖牛肉
I'll be we taste like pot roast.
还要土豆吗
More potatoes?
钥匙切割处
你再拍两下信不信你手没了
You keep tapping those hands, you're gonna lose 'em.
麦克斯再不来甜点要被吃完了
Max, come on back. We're finishing dessert.
今晚你们能来真是太棒了
Well, it was so nice having you here.
打点儿包回家吧
You should take home some leftovers.
我会打包剩下的饼干
I'll take the rest of the cookies
还有这七根香蕉
and these seven bananas.
等一下他们还不能走
Wait. They can't leave yet.
我还没展示我的太阳系呢
I want to show them my solar system!
可惜了宝贝天色有点暗了
Oh, I don't know, honey. It's...it's getting late.
求求你了
Please?
也许用不了多长时间
Well, you know, maybe...maybe just quickly.
他们相处得那么愉快
I mean, they're getting along so well.
就是嘛
Come on, yeah.
谁不喜欢看秀呢
Who doesn't love a shown tell?
这样的话得再来点儿睡前酒喝喝了
Probably need a nightcap, though, if we're gonna do that.
凯特帮我倒满
Kate, top me off?
来点儿
Come on!
来点儿爱你哦姐妹
Come on! Love you, girl.
纽约来咯
New York City. There we go.
我和爸爸一起做的
And me and my dad made it together.
很棒吧
Isn't it great?
确实很棒
Actually, yes.