外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S01E03

Part 3 March 15, 2021, 9:06 a.m.

'cause it means that we don't have a murderer in our town.
没有吗
We--we don't?
我们有一个连环杀手大伙
We got ourselves a serial killer, y'all.
这算什么好事
How the hell is that a good thing?
连环杀手不会逃跑躲藏
Serial killers don't run away and hide.
他们潜伏等待再次出手所以更容易抓到他们
They lie in wait to strike again, so they're easier to catch.
如果我是个连环杀手
Hell, if I was a serial killer,
我现在就在这个房♥间里寻找下一个受害者
I'd be in this room right now looking for my next victim.
好了别担心
All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't worry!
我们要把这只脚送去丹佛做DNA检测
We're gonna send the foot to Denver for DNA testing.
只要我们查出是谁就能抓住凶手
Once we find out who it is, we gon' catch this killer.
我不能让他们拿到DNA
I can't let them get that DNA.
他们会知道我就是湖里的那个死者
They'll know I'm dead lake man.
医生你有什么...
Doctor, do you have anything that...
有什么要补充的吗
that you could...That you could add?
我好害怕
I am so scared!
真不错医生非常应景
Real nice, Doc. Real smooth, real smooth.
害怕是真的我具有全部的迹象
Fear is real. I have all the signs.
手心出汗
Sweaty palms...
心跳加速
Elevated heartbeat...
帽子不错怪胎
Nice hat, freak.
现在我的身体能感受人类的情感
Now that I'm in this body, I'm feeling human emotions.
对不起咯
Sorry.
可怜的家伙
Poor guy.
我猜可能是船的螺旋桨打中了尸体
My guess is a boat propeller probably hit the dead body
把脚直接切下来了
and just chopped the foot right off.
白人男性
White male.
我觉得有四十多岁八十公斤
I'm thinking late 40s, 180 pounds,
一米八以上
over six feet tall.
这是十二♥码♥的脚
That's a size twelve shoe.
天啊要不是你有两只脚
Heck, if you didn't have two feet,
我都会以为这是你的脚
I'd think this thing was yours.
你真是个幽默的人
You are a funny, hilarious person.
总之如果查出了匹配的DNA
Anyway, the medical examiner will let us know
法医会通知我们的
if we get a hit on the DNA.
对我知道有可能匹配不到
No, I know there's a chance that there won't be,
但现在基因库里有那么多人的信息
but with so many people in the database these days,
还有那些祖先基因测试
all those ancestry testing kits.
我都做过一次
Even I did one.
结果我发现
Uh, I found out that, um,
我的亲生父亲
my real father
其实是我爸爸最好的朋友比尔
is actually my dad's best friend, Bill,
所以我告诉了我爸爸
so I told my dad
他就和我妈妈分手了
and he and my mom broke up
然后他离开搬去了俄亥俄州所以...
and then he left town and he moved to Ohio, so...
我不推荐那些测试
I don't recommend those tests.
不管怎样很快基因库里就只缺
Anyway, soon the only people who won't be in the database
隐士和婴儿的信息了
are hermits and babies.
绝对是我的脚
Definitely my foot.
我的种族进化出了令人惊叹的能力
It's amazing how my people have developed the ability
能够从细胞层面模仿其他生命体
to mimic other life forms on the cellular level.
我们是种无与伦比的...
We are an incredible...
我忘记关门了
And I forgot to close the door.
等你又古怪完了以后
When you're doing being next-level weird,
布里斯科一家在诊室等着
we have the Briscoes in the exam room.
找到我的袜子了
Oh, there's my sock.
在这呢
It's here.
我的那只脚去哪了
Where's my goddamn foot?
你偷了我那个死人的小脚丫
You stole my five dead little piggies,
更别提还有丽芙最爱的铁桶了
not to mention Liv's favorite bucket.
她总把汽水放在那里面
She puts her soda pop in there.
我可以帮忙我是个病理学家
I can help. I am a pathologist.
你不需要把整只脚送到丹佛去
You don't need to send the whole foot to Denver.
那就把这玩意病理一下
Well, then pathologize the damn thing
给我整份DNA样本
and get me a DNA sample.
美国著名连环杀手
我们这出了个泰德·邦迪
We got some Ted Bundy shit going on around here,
我得在他下次出手之前阻止他
and I need to put a stop to it before he strikes again.
或者是她
Or she.
杀手可能是个女人
The killer could be a woman.
那是性别歧视你这性别主义者
That's sexist. You're sexist.
让我来告诉你吧
Let me tell you something.
我说"他"的时候我指的是男女统称
When I say he, I mean he or she.
我们两个之间
You know, between you and me,
还说什么政♥治♥正确的屁话
what is this PC bullshit anyway now?
还得用"他/她"代指"他"吗
You gotta say "he/she" for "he"
"他"本来指的就是"他/她" 懂我意思吗
when "he" already mean "he/she," you know what I mean?
我只觉得那样更尊重人
I just think it'll be more respectful
如果你觉得杀手也能是女人
if you think of the killer as a woman.
好吧
Okay.
告诉你我觉得什么叫尊重吧
Well, let me tell you what I think would be respectful...
那就是你给我从这只脚上取下一块皮肤样本
is if you got me a skin sample off this foot
别让我等得要吃伟哥了
before I start needing dick pills.
现在我去候诊室等着你
Now, I'ma be in the waiting room waiting.
没人知道伟大想法的来源
No one knows where great ideas come from,
但你总会记得灵光乍现的地点
but you always remember where you were when they came.
好了
There.
包皮环切术
优缺点
而这次我的好主意来自于这一刻
And in this case, my great idea came the moment
当我走进诊室并且想到
I entered the exam room and realized
我要把这个婴儿的包皮切下来
I was going to cut the foreskin off this baby's dick
然后交给警长
and hand it to the sheriff.
-他生病几天了 -就两天
- How long has he been sick? - Just two days.
他没有发烧
He doesn't have a fever.
不幸中的万幸
That's a relief.
他的胸腔声音正常
His chest is clear.
他割过包皮了吗
Is he circumcised?
-什么 -什么
- What? - What?
对我这个问题太蠢了
Right, how dumb of me to ask.
我就在这呢可以直接自己检查
I'm right here. I can just check myself.
来看看你下面是什么情况吧小家伙
Let's see what you're packin' down there, champ.
哈里... 万德斯本格医生
Harry... Dr. Vanderspeigle,
你不用这么做的
you don't need to do that.
他没有割包皮至少现在还没有
He's not circumcised. Not yet, anyway.
我们在考虑但还没决定好
We were thinking about it but hadn't made a decision.
你不需要现在就做决定
And you don't need to make a decision right now.
越早越好
The sooner the better.
割掉包皮可以降低尿路感染的风险
Removing the foreskin reduces the risk of urinary tract infection.
-还有性病 -性病
- Also STDs. - STDs?
你想让你的孩子得淋病吗
Do you want your baby getting gonorrhea?
-你是认真在问我吗 -不不是的
- Is that a real question? - No, it's not.
你应该考虑一下那是个非常简单的手术
You should consider it. It's a very simple procedure.
我只需要通过手术切除
All I do is surgically remove the skin
包裹着你孩子老二顶端的皮肤
which covers the tip of your baby's prick.
给你
Here you go.
我要留着那只脚保存好它
I'm keeping the foot so it can be stored properly.
死者脚上取下的DNA样本
我没意见
Fine by me.
它让我的办公室闻起来一股坏寿司味
Thing made my whole office smell like bad sushi.
我得把这个还给丽芙
I gotta get this back to Liv.
你懂的女人都喜欢水桶
You know ladies love they buckets.
你可别说这是性别歧视事实如此
Before you say that's sexist, that's just a fact.
-小麦 -妈妈你来这儿干什么
- Hey, Maxie. - Mom, what are you doing?
我不能被人瞧见还在和自己妈妈玩
I can't be seen hanging out with my mother.
傻孩子
Don't be silly. Hey.
老师也是有午休时间的
Teachers get lunch breaks, too.
我只是顺路过来看看你
Just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing.
拜托快走吧
Please go!
我可以给你钱
I'll literally pay you.
这钱是我早上给你的
That's the money I gave you this morning.
那也是钱
Money is money.
好吧但