外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S01E07

Part 3 March 15, 2021, 9:08 a.m.

这样做是对的
Hey, I think that went okay.
乔餐厅
我现在是人类了
This is my life now... Human being.
我得像人一样生活
So I have to live like humans do:
在讨厌的工作上虚度时光
occupy my time at a job I loathe,
慢慢等死
slowly rotting away until I die.
我的选择是
What are my choices?
送报员
凯伦点的一杯低脂牛奶拿铁
I have one low fat cow's milk latte
要多搅拌一会儿的
with an extra shot of agitation for Karen.
完工
There you go.
这一刻我等太久了
I waited my whole life for this.
我爱杰里·奥尔巴♥赫♥
I love Jerry Orbach.
哈里哈里
Harry, Harry...
回魂了哈里
Harry, Harry, snap out of it.
你怎么在这儿
What are you doing here?
我爸妈还是要送我走
My parents are still sending me away.
你没和他们谈过吗我们明明约好的
Didn't you talk to them? We had a truce.
当然谈过
Of course.
我跟他们说过你应该烂死在
I think I told them that you should rot
-那家精神病院 -什么
- in that psych hospital. - What?
我可不擅长什么约定请你离开
I'm not good at truces. Now go away.
我还有很多"人事"等着做
I have a lot of being human to do.
你要真想成为人类那就别在卡车后面
You want to be a human, then don't have alien stuff
放外星人的东西傻蛋
in the back of your truck, dummy.
愚蠢
Stupid.
招聘模特
"Models needed."
不错
Yes, yes.
我不懂你为什么不告诉他们
I don't know why you didn't just tell them
是吉米偷了处方簿
that Jimmy stole the pad.
因为我还不能确定就是他
Because I wasn't sure it was him.
我又没什么证据
It's not like I had any proof.
什么证不证据的
Proof...smloof.
有时候你得相信自己的直觉懂吗
Sometimes, you just got to trust your gut, you know?
说真的
To be honest, you really do
你看人一向很准
have good instincts about people.
准的离谱
Always have.
还记得高中那时你是唯一一个
High school, remember, you were the only one
不看好我和罗伯·夏普的
who said that I shouldn't date Rob Sharp.
他有辆厢式货车里面还有床垫
He had a panel van with a mattress in the back.
我知道很难看出来的
I know. It was subtle.
冥冥中就知道他不是个好人
Somehow you knew he was bad news.
谁打来的
Who's this? Ooh.
小贱♥人♥
朱迪
Judy.
咋滴
Whassup?
什么是吗
What? Wait, really?
他在这待了好几个小时了我要关门了
He's been here for hours. I have to close up.
但弄不走他
I can't get the guy to leave.
第一次遇见这种情况吧
First time you've had that problem.
他离开你倒是挺快的在你给他闻臭手后
He left you pretty quick after you gave him stink hand.
明明是你的猫臭
That was your cat.
你不准说凯文坏话
Hey, don't talk shit about Kevin.
你俩能消停会儿吗天哪
Would you guys stop it? Jesus.
他怎么会在这里
Why is he here?
他来应聘的但我老板觉得
He was applying for a job, but my boss
哈里资历过高
said Harry was overqualified.
我猜他可能对斯坦福大学有阴影
I guess he's got, like, a PTSD from Stamford.
宝贝你用来喷鞋子的喷雾
Babe, is the spray you put in those shoes
是不是有毒
a little toxic?
有点点吧
A little bit, yeah.
谢了朱迪
Thanks, Judy.
去死吧低等物种
Die, inferior species.
哈里
Hey, Harry.
听说你一整天都待在这儿
Judy says you've been here all day.
想回家看看老婆什么的吗
Maybe you want to go home to your wife?
她走了我还失业了
My wife left me, and I lost my job,
这日子糟糕透了
and my life is horrible.
你是在写乡村音乐吗
Sounds like you're writing country music.
不
No.
伊莎贝尔走了
Oh, Isabelle left?
真可惜她人蛮有趣的
I'm so sorry. She was interesting.
-是啊 -我们能做点什么吗
- Yeah, yeah. - Can we do anything?
不用了我试过用酒精和药物麻痹自己
No, I already tried booze and pills,
但都没什么用
but they didn't make me feel any better.
天啊哈里你可是医生
Jesus, Harry, you're a doctor.
酒精和药物可不会让你感觉舒服点
You can't use booze and pills to feel better.
-没错 -朱迪上大♥麻♥
- Yeah. - Judy, get the pot.
绝了
This is awesome.
我肚子填不饱
My stomach can't get full.
-这些面条绝了 -我还是很抑郁
- These noodles are bomb. - I'm still depressed.
但没关系我不在乎了
But it doesn't matter. I don't care.
你这种处理方式是对的
You're doing depression right.
重点就是去接受它
The key is to embrace it.
一旦接受了这种设定
Once you accept that you've got nothing,
你会发现也没什么能失去的了
then you've got nothing left to lose.
人生的低谷正是自♥由♥所在之处
The low point, that's where freedom lives.
太可怕了
That's horrible.
我爸总是说
You know, my dad used to say
当你的生活等下我明明记得的
that when your life... Wait, I had it.
我我嗨了
I'm...I'm so high.
说半截可不行
I'm on tenterhooks.
丹到底是怎么说的
I need to know what Dan said.
嗨表弟等你很久了
Hello, cousin. We have been waiting for you.
为什么你看起来和他们一样
So why do you look like them?
我得融入人类
I had to blend in.
你懂的我们的任务
You know how it is. That's what we do.
你来得很及时事情变得棘手了
You are here just in time. Things are getting bad for us.
地球上有这么句话
There is an expression on Earth.
"我有一个好消息和一个坏消息"
"I have good news and bad news."
坏消息是我坠机了设备也丢了
The bad news is I crashed, lost my device,
-任务失败了 -那好消息呢
- and have failed my mission. - Well, what's the good news?
人类朋友们没点章鱼吃
My friends didn't order the octopus?
快看哈里
Look at Harry.
我怎么觉得他就没吸嗨
I don't think he's ever been high.
太奇怪了
It's so strange.
他都要嗨瘫了
He is so fried.
我觉得那家伙哪里不对劲
I think there's something wrong with that guy.
谁
Who?
万一他是个反♥社♥会♥分子呢
What if he's a sociopath
全国都有他的老婆的那种
that has wives all over the country?
如果我变成他的异教老婆呢
What if I had become his Patience wife?
-我肯定都死透了 -天哪
- I might have died... - Oh, my God.
-丢弃在柴火堆里 -有可能
- In a pyre. - Oh, yeah.
-柴火堆是什么 -不知道
- What's a pyre? - I don't know.
你绝不能放弃
You cannot give up on your mission.
你得帮帮我们
You need to help us.
我们的人都指望老天
Our people depend on... Oh, my God.
你吸毒了吗你都吸嗨了
Are you high? You're baked.
听着我的兄弟在这游来游去都六年了
Look, my brother's been swimming around for six years
屁♥股♥上还缠着个半打饮料塑料包装
with a plastic six-pack container wrapped around his ass,
而你在这里吸大♥麻♥
and you're here smoking bowls?
你玩得可真开心
Just so long as you're having a good time.
惊慌引起的压力对于一个吸了大♥麻♥的人来说
Panic-inducing pressure is not an effective tool
可不是个有效的工具老兄
on people who smoke marijuana, man.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
听着你已经知道答案了
Look, you already know the answer.
我能看到就在你的内心
I can see it inside you
就在一大坨乌冬面旁边
next to a large pile of udon noodles.
但是我不知道等下没错
But I don't--wait, of course,
那个叫麦克的男孩可以帮忙
the boy Mike can help.
不等下是马克麦麦克斯