外星居民（2021）

Resident Alien S01E02

Part 5 March 15, 2021, 9:06 a.m.

If I can land a spacecraft on an asteroid
把飞船降落在小行星上
travelling 50,000 miles an hour,
我一定以可以在木头上掷球
I can roll a ball on some wood.
该死的
Oh, god damn it.
-这得是全中 -这才不是什么全中
- That's a strike. - Ain't no damn strike.
这是用致命武器袭击他人
That's assault with a deadly weapon.
你要知道我可以以此把你逮捕
You know, I could arrest your ass for that,
但我不想让你
but I don't want to embarrass you
因为烂保龄球技术而不好意思
for all this wayward bowling.
我♥操♥
Ow, shit!
他没事的
He's fine.
他说错了我从不会不好意思
You know, he was wrong. I never feel embarrassment.
不错啊但是我会
Wow, that's cool. Well, I do.
当我在斯特拉顿的时候我重复做过一个梦
When I was at Stratton, I had this recurring dream.
梦到我在我在走廊里裸奔
You know, I was running naked through the hallways.
那并不是个梦
It wasn't a dream.
安♥眠♥药♥
Ambien.
那挺让人尴尬的
That's embarrassing.
你在这里住了很久了
You've lived here a long time.
我有个问题没有别的意思
I have a question. It doesn't mean anything.
山上的雪什么时候会化去
When does the snow melt on the mountain?
那得看天气情况
Ooh, it would depend on the weather.
现在是春天所以如果下几场雨的话
It's spring, so if we get a good rain,
-可能一个周内就会融化 -一周
- it'll be gone in a week. - A week?
-是啊 -那太快了啊
- Yeah. - That's very soon.
你是想去高山滑雪
Do you want to go heliskiing?
-一定很有趣 -不别去山上面
- It's rad. - No, don't go up there.
什么
What?
你是个滑雪者
You're a skier?
是啊我以前经常滑雪
Yeah,well, I used to ski, like, a lot.
我想参加奥林匹克
I wanted to go to the Olympics,
我取得过世界第二的成绩
so finished second in the worlds
2006年的时候我去了都灵
and then 2006 I went to Torino.
-然后就变成这样了 -怎么会这样
- And then this happened. - How did you do that?
那是我第二轮猫跳
Well, it was my second mogul run.
我听到我膝盖异响
I heard my knee pop.
就在我准备跳之前我没法停下来然后
It was before the jump, and I couldn't stop,and
我摔到地上我听到了许多骨头碎裂的声音
I landed, and I heard a bunch of bones crack.
我脚部摔成了复合性骨折
I had a tip fib compound fracture
他们说我可能会失去我的腿甚至是死掉
They said I could have lost my leg or even died.
真是有趣的一天
Fun day.
没法停下来
Couldn't stop?
差点死了
Almost died.
太棒了
That's great.
这还真是个新观点
So I found a new perspective
-我得走了 -我们还没吃完呢
- I've got to go. - We're not done eating.
约会通常到这就结束了
That's where it usually ends.
又是一个只有你和热狗的约会之夜
Aw, another date night just you and a hot dog?
实际上我有两个热狗
Actually, I have two.
你可以一手拿一个
You could have one for each hand
就像是高中的时候
just like in high school.
我从你身上学到的那个技术
I learned that trick from you.
-荡♥妇♥ -淫♥女♥
- All right, slut. - Hoe bag.
-你想来两局球吗 -好啊
- Want to bowl? - Yeah.
来吧
Let's do it.
那小孩骑车上学的路上
The kid has to ride his bike down this hill
一定会下这个斜坡
on the way to school.
没有刹车的话他一定活不下来
Without brakes, he'll never survive.
这种感觉真好
It's a good feeling to know
知道自己是地球上最聪明的人
I am the smartest person on Earth gh!
别站在路中间你个白♥痴♥
Get out of the street, you idiot!
抱歉
Sorry.
我喜欢山姆但是他总是
I liked Sam, but he was always,
"别吃这个别吃那个"
"Don't eat this. Don't eat that.
"你的饮食习惯会害死自己的"
Your diet's gonna kill you."
你的饮食的确很重要
Well, what you eat is important.
我不这么认为
I don't agree with that.
-是吗 -是的这列表中
- Oh, no? - No, there are ten things on here
至少有十种能比吃坏东西
that are going to kill him sooner
-更早害死他的成分 -哈里
- than eating bad food does. - Harry.
不我想听他说山姆从来没提起过
No, I want to hear. Sam never mentioned that.
告诉我时间
Tell me when.
听着我已经80岁了你可以对我实话实说
Look, I just turned 80. You can give it to me straight.
你觉得我还有多长时间
How long do you think I have?
-你喜欢圣诞节吗 -非常喜欢
- Do you like Christmas? - Yes, very much.
在六月前就过了吧
Celebrate it before June.
好吧
Oh, okay.
但是在此期间呢
But between now and Christmas?
你可以想吃什么吃什么
You can eat anything you want.
我喜欢你
I like you.
这是第一次有医生对我那么坦诚
This is the first time that a doctor's been totally honest with me.
这个小镇很幸运能迎来你这么好的医生
This town is very lucky to have a doctor as good as you.
没错你们很幸运
Yes, you are lucky.
你可真有一套
You certainly have a particular style.
真了不起他从来没喜欢过谁
That's impressive. He doesn't like anyone.
本·霍索恩来了出了一场意外
Ben Hawthorne's here. There's been an accident.
-出了意外 -是的
- An accident? - Yeah.
你好霍索恩镇长我为你的失去感到遗憾
Hello, Mayor Hawthorne. I'm sorry for your loss.
什么失去
Uh, what loss?
这个小家伙在自行车道上从自行车上摔下来了
This little guy fell on his bike in the driveway.
我觉得他需要缝针
I think he's gonna need stitches.
-来吧 -好吧
- Come on. - Okay.
缝针就这样吗
Stitches stitches, that's it?
语气别那么失望怪胎
Don't sound so disappointed, weirdo.
没事的小家伙我会一直待在你身边的
It's okay, buddy. I'll be here right next to you the whole time.
你明明离我有快200米
You're, like, 600 feet away.
是的我不想让医生觉得我碍手碍脚
Yeah, well, I don't want to get in the doctor's way.
知道吗坚强点好吗
See, just stay strong, okay, pal?
谢谢你护士
Thank you, nurse.
我听说你今天早上出了自行车事故
I hear you had a little bike accident this morning?
非常小的事故
Very little.
你儿子非常害羞
Your son is very shy.
你可以抬头看我麦克斯我不咬人
You can look at me, Max. I don't bite.
其实我咬人的
Actually, I do.
算你走运你的刹车是在自行车道上坏了
You're lucky your brakes failed on the driveway
而不是主路上坏了
and not on the main road.
不然情况就糟糕多了
This should have been a lot worse.
你怎么知道是刹车坏了
How did you know it was my brakes?
我猜的
I just assumed.
我们看到过很多人刹车坏了受伤的患者
We get a lot of failed brake accidents?
各种类型的车都有汽车
All kinds, cars,
轮椅船
wheelchairs, boats.
我们得快点吗
Mm, can we hurry this up?
纱布的味道让人受不了
That smell of gauze is just something else.
幸运的是我们给好孩子准备了奴佛卡因
Luckily, we have Novocain for good boys.
我可以把你的伤口麻醉就什么都感觉不到了
I can numb this up, and you won't feel a thing.
告诉我麦克斯你是否准备好
So tell me, Max, are you going to be
当一个好孩子了
a good boy?
当然
Of course.
不绝不
No, never.
我得到答案了
Well, then I have my answer.
我们开始缝针吧
Let's put in a couple of stitches.
放马过来吧
Go right ahead.
怎么样麦克斯
How is it, Max?
我很好
It's fine.
这里是不是有蚊子
Is there a mosquito in here?
因为我觉得我胳膊被蚊子咬了一口
'Cause I think I just got a tiny bite on my arm.
这伤口比我想象得还深
This is deeper than I thought.
也许得缝上三针
We might need three stitches.
不如来五针啊
How about five?
-可以了 -真的吗