昭雪（2013）

Rectify S04E01

Part 4 Nov. 23, 2020, 12:55 p.m.

Ultimately, Jesse his own man.
到头来还得杰西自己做决定
But whatever he needed and didn't get in this house,
但他需要的在这里没有得到
that is on us, all of us.
就是大家的责任
To some degree, we got to be our brother's keeper.
某种程度上我们得做兄弟的监护人
Am I right?
我说得对吗
Probably so.
应该吧
That's how places like this work.
这种地方的规矩就是这样
It's really the only way they can work.
这是我们唯一可行的办法
We just need you to be one of us.
我们需要你成为我们的一员
I may just not be up to the task.
我可能胜任不了
To help others or to let others help you?
帮助他人还是受他人帮助
Both. Neither.
都不行
Well, that's something you'll have to decide for yourself.
这是你必须要做的决定
Okay.
好吧
We'll leave you be then.
不打扰你了
Wasn't sure you'd still be here, Dan.
我以为你不会来了丹
Have a seat.
请坐
Hell is other people.
他人即地狱
I don't follow.
什么意思
It's a quote from a play that I-I read in prison
这句来自我在监狱读过的一篇戏剧
called "No Exit."
叫《此路不通》
Dan, you weren't into escapist fare, were you?
丹你不是逃避现实的那种人吧
The three characters in the play were in hell.
剧里那三个角色如同在地狱里
Forced to be together, just be together,
被迫在一起就只是在一起
in a room for eternity.
同处一室共度永恒
And that was their hell.
那就是他们的地狱
Like I said last night, Dan, you don't have to be here.
我昨晚说了丹你不必待在这里
Certainly not for eternity.
肯定不会永远在这里
That's the problem.
问题就出在这里
I'm not sure I can be out there either in the world.
我也不确定是否能面对世界
Now that sounds like hell.
这话听起来就很惨了
Those other guys in the house, Nate, Pickle, Tyrus,
房♥子里的其他人内特皮可泰瑞斯
when they were in prison,
他们坐牢的时候
they were usually around a lot of other guys, right?
通常身边有很多其他人对吗
Interacting.
与他人互动
Sounds like prison.
监狱就是这样
I was alone, interacting with myself.
我当时独自一人与自己互动
I'm aware of that.
我知道
Or the voices inside the grate.
或者与壁炉里的声音
Voices?
声音
The other inmates on the row.
同一排的其他囚犯
We would communicate with each other through the grates.
我们会通过壁炉交流
I see.
明白了
Sometimes with friends,
有时候跟朋友
sometimes with...no friends at all.
有时候跟陌生人
But no matter who it was,
但不管是跟谁
I would never get to see them or feel them,
我从未见过他们或者感受他们
their -- their presence.
他们的存在
And that's not the same.
这不一样
No. No, it's not.
是不一样
And I did that.
我熬过来了
I lived like that for 20 years.
我那样生活了二十年
That's a long time.
确实很久
It's a strange way to exist.
活得太奇怪了
It's inhuman.
不人道
What is it, Dan?
怎么了丹
If not now, when?
现在不说等到何时
After my friend was executed,
我朋友被处决后
I became despondent...
我变得很消沉
more despondent.
更消沉了
I guess depressed. Enraged.
我很抑郁恼怒
But more than anything, I was lonely.
但最重要的是我很孤独
So deeply lonely.
深深的孤独
He had protected me from that more than I realized.
他比我想象中更保护我让我远离这些情绪
I bet.
当然
When you are alone with yourself all the time,
当你一直孤单一人
with no one but yourself,
无人陪伴
you begin to go deeper and deeper into yourself
你就开始深入自己的内心
until...you lose yourself.
直到迷失自我
It's a perverse contradiction.
这是一种荒谬的矛盾
It's like your ego begins to disintegrate
就好比你开始自我瓦解
until you...have no ego.
直到毫无自我可言
Not in the sense that you -- you become humble or --
但并不是说你变得谦逊或者
or -- or gain some kind of perspective,
或者获得某种观念
but that you literally lose your sense of self.
而是真的失去了自我意识
And I'm not sure anyone, unless they have gone through it,
我不了解其他人但除非他们亲身经历过
can -- can -- can truly understand how...
才可以真正地理解
profound that loss is.
这种深切的失去感
It's like the psychic glue
就像是连接着
that binds your whole notion of existence is gone,
你整个存在概念的心灵媒介消失了
and you become unglued.
你变得分崩离析
I think, therefore I am.
我思故我在
I think too much, therefore I am not.
我过虑故我不在
I am not, therefore I am nothing.
我不在故我空
I am nothing, therefore I am dead.
我空故我亡
And if I am dead, then why am I still so goddamn lonely?
但我要是死了为什么还是这么孤独呢
It's good that you're talking about this, Dan.
你愿意聊这些很好丹
What you've been through and what you've lost...
你所经历的你所失去的
Part of the grieving process, you know?
都是悲伤过程的一部分你知道吗
Is there a 90-day plan for that, too?
这也有对应的九十天治疗计划吗
A New Canaan House grief plan?
新迦南之屋悲伤治疗计划
What color binder is that housed in?
那个治疗计划是装在哪个颜色的活页夹里的
Ain't no plan for that.
并没有那种治疗计划
But we're here to help you. We really are.
但我们真的是来帮助你的
The problem with your program is I don't fit.
你这个项目的问题在于我不适合
You're a human being, Dan. You fit.
你也是人丹你适合
One of your biggest tenets or dictums
你们的主要宗旨或者格言之一
or whatever you call it is -- is to be upfront, yeah?
随你叫什么就是开诚布公对吧
Be straight, be real.
要坦率要真挚
Tell the world what you did, right?
告诉全世界你做了什么对吗
No, not tell the world, just who you need to.
不是告诉全世界只是你需要告诉的人
The tiny little issue I am having, Avery,
我现在的小问题是埃弗里
is that I don't know what real is.
我不知道什么是真的
I don't truly know what I did or didn't do.
我不是很清楚自己做过或没做的事
I can say I am a convicted murderer,
我可以说我是个定罪谋杀犯
which is true.
这是真的
I am convicted.
我被定罪了
And I can say that I killed her, too -- Hanna --
我也可以说我杀了汉娜
which I have said more than once.
这话我说了不止一次
And I can even imagine that I killed her,
我甚至可以想象我杀了她
which I have imagined,
这我也想象过
because that's what I've been asked to do multiple times.
因为我被要求做了很多次
But I honestly can't say
但我真的无法说出口
that I did, in fact, kill her.
是我亲手杀了她
Because I just don't remember,
因为无论如何
for the life of me.
我都想不起来了
And that's...
这...
Your truth.
你的真♥相♥
Yes.
是的
That's my truth.
那是我的真♥相♥
And what if you never know what happened?
如果你永远不知道发生了什么呢
I don't know.
我不知道
And I don't know what to do with that unknowing.
我不知道如何处理那种未知
Sounds like you got to accept it.
看来你得接受现实
What else can you do?
不然你还能做什么呢
It's not so easy.
没那么容易
Of course it isn't, but...
当然不容易了
you never tried, have you?
可你也没试过吧
No.
是的
Why not? I don't know.
为什么不试试呢我不知道