公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）

(前情提要)
你好 我是雷斯特 - 见见我们的新门房♥
Hello, I'm LESTR. - Meet our new doorman.
我们用过世那位帮它命名
We named him after the dead one.
我们可爱的谋杀大楼怎么了
What's happening to our sweet little murder building?
对 世局变化得很快
Things are changing fast.
你去跟莱斯特的太太聊聊 - 莉莉安很爱我
You-- You go, uh, talk to Lester's wife. - Lillian loves me.
是萝瑞琳
It's Lorraine.
我是泰迪曼医师试验小组的成员
I'm in Dr. Tidyman's trial group,
我想拿到接下来的四剂...
and I'd like to get the next four doses of...
尼奇以前到哪里都带着这副牌
Nicky used to carry these decks around everywhere he went.
也许这是线索
Maybe it's something.
我对扑克牌很有一套
I have a facility with cards.
对其他东西也是
Among other things.
这张桌子吃了不少苦
This table's been through it.
你觉得这里发生什么事
What do you think happened here?
尼奇死掉那晚 我在跟这些蠢蛋打牌
I was playing with these bozos the night Nicky died.
尼奇砍掉他的手指
So Nicky-- "chh!"-- chopped off his finger.
杰失去他的右手手指
Jay lost his right finger.
我们的手指却是往左弯
The finger we have curves left.
这不是他的手指
This isn't his finger.
根据你们刚签的合约
Per the contract you just signed,
你们不能播报公♥司♥的管理情形
you're unable to podcast about management of the company.
我们有了新的主要股东 - 谁
And we have new majority stakeholders. - Who?
他们连手起来
They joined forces.
他们都有问题
They're all dirty.
天啊 这一切长久以来 都在亚柯尼亚底下
Wow, this was really under the Arconia all these years?
对 莱斯特和尼奇都来过这里
Yes, and Lester and Nicky have both been here.
这里一定有我们要的答案
This room has gotta hold some answers for us.
你知道真正的钱能买♥♥到什么吗
You know what real money buys?
我说的不是游艇或喷射机 或那些可爱的侏儒河马
I'm not talking yachts or jets or even one of those cute little pygmy hippos.
我才会买♥♥那个
That's what I'd get.
牠会住在我的浴缸里 可爱到不行
He'd live in my bathtub, it'd be cute as hell.
总之 我说的是真正的钱 「管你去死」那种
Anyways, I'm talking real money, the "fuck you" kind.
那种钱能买♥♥到世上最有价值的东西
That money buys the most valuable thing there is:
沉默
silence.
没有人会出♥卖♥♥♥有钱人
Nobody's ratting out the rich.
为什么
Why?
因为他们会把你像虫子一样踩扁
Because they'll squash you like a bug.
我们在这边发现一个裂缝 就在这...
And so, over here, uh, we found a tear in this ta...
桌子上
table?
一定是切肉刀切的 但已经补好了
Well, it must have been done by a cleaver, but it's been repaired...?
这下面有个秘密抽屉 我们在里面发现一个装满钱的信封
And under here is a-- a-a-a secret drawer where we found an envelope full of money.
用轮盘上的密♥码♥能打开抽屉
It opens with a code from the roulette wheel.
好 有了
Okay, got it.
给我等一下
Oh, now hold on a goddamn minute.
你是说这个超大的赌博宫殿
You mean to tell me that there's been this giant-ass gaming palace
一直都在这里 但你们现在才发现
down here the whole time, but you guys are just finding out about it?
平心而论 我刚发现大楼里有健身房♥
Well, to be fair, I just found out this building has a gym.
我不知道
I don't know.
这看起来挺干净的
It looks pretty fucking clean, guys.
我可以在这张牌桌上吃羊排
I could eat lamb chops on this poker table.
但我们看到血了
But we saw blood.
他们清理过了
They-- They-- They cleaned.
妳是说超级反派带着拖把闯进来
Are you telling me that the super-villains got in here with a Swiffer?
当然不是 那就是线索
Of course, they didn't. And that's your in.
有人在帮这些混♥蛋♥善后
Somebody's cleaning up after these motherfuckers,
八成是这栋大楼里的员工
which probably means it's someone that works in the building.
听听专业警♥察♥的妙招 要调查超级富豪
A little pro-police hack: when investigating the super-rich,
找帮佣就对了
talk to the help.
有钱人常常在他们面前做蠢事
Rich people are constantly doing dumb shit in front of them.
她说得对 他们可能收买♥♥了警方
She's right. And they probably paid off the police.
两个警♥察♥跑到干洗店找尼奇的尸体
You know, two cops showed up at the dry cleaners to "find" Nicky's body.
妳认识这两个警♥察♥吗
Do you know these two cops?
认识
Oh, yeah!
好 那个是巴比 那个是我的好朋友佛莱迪
Okay, so that one over there is Bobby. And that's my good friend Freddy.
他最搞笑...你♥他♥妈♥开什么玩笑
You know, he tells the best-- Are you fucking kidding me?
你知道纽约市警局有多少人吗
Do you actually know how many people are in the NYPD?
就算我能指认他们 我也不干
And even if I could ID these guys, I wouldn't.
因为上一个想揭发黑警的人
Because the last guy that tried to expose dirty cops
必须搬到佛罗里达州
had to move to Florida.
天啊 意思是他被杀了吗
God, does that mean he got killed?
不 意思是他必须住在佛罗里达州
No, it means he actually has to live in Florida.
天啊
Oh, my God.
那把我们的手指送去实验室呢
What-- What about taking our finger to a lab?
如果它不是杰福鲁格的 是谁的
I mean, if it isn't Jay Pflug's, whose is it?
我了解 但我得之后再回复你们
I hear you, but I'm gonna have to get back to you guys on that one.
我得去幼儿园了 我负责点心
I gotta head to the preschool, I'm on snack duty.
黑人同性恋家长 不能随便带着一根手指乱晃
A Black gay parent can't also be hauling some random-ass finger around.
好 很合理 但苏菲亚呢
Okay, fair, fair. But what about Sofia?
是她给我们扑克牌 我们才进来的
She's the one that gave us the cards to get in here.
她一定知道什么 - 我去问她
She must know something. - I'll question her.
我跟她在史坦顿岛蛮谈得来的
She and I had a bit of a connection in Staten Island.
她要是有话要说 就会告诉我
If there's anything to say, she'll say it to me.
就这样 这里没东西可找
So, that's it? There's nothing to find here?
清理这里的人漏掉一样东西
Well, whoever cleaned up in here missed one thing.
你找到武器了吗
Oh, did you find a weapon?
更糟糕 虾尾
Worse. Shrimp tails.
他们可以杀人
You know, they can commit murder,
他们可以夺走我们的在线电台 但没人...
they can take away our podcast, but nobody,
能吃我的婚礼虾
nobody eats my wedding shrimp.
我付了六桶虾的钱
I paid for six tubs of shrimp,
只有五桶回到我的公♥寓♥
and only five made it back to my apartment.
所以这些人在大厅看到 我的虾子没人看管 就拿走了
So, these people saw my shrimp unattended in the lobby and just helped themselves.
这是什么世界 我们只是动物吗
I mean, what kind of world is this? Are we nothing but animals?
奥利佛 他们的虾子 可能跟你的虾子没关系
Oliver, it's possible that their shrimp had nothing to do with your shrimp.
查尔斯 你难道不愤怒吗
Charles, don't you share my outrage?
他在做什么
What is he doing?
天啊 他在滑手♥机♥
Oh, my God, he's swiping.
查尔斯 你在用交友软件吗
Uh, Charles, are you on the apps?
对 我加入性感老人的约会服务
Oh, uh, yeah. I, uh, joined a dating service for sexy seniors.
它叫「最后渴望」
It's called, uh, Last Gasp.
你有用「最后渴望」 - 好
You're on Last Gasp? - Okay,
我很快就会当你的好朋友 但这几天很难熬
very soon I'm gonna be a good friend, but it has been a rough few days
我很需要笑一笑
and I'm desperate for a laugh.
可以看你的个人资料吗
May I see your profile?
(最后渴望) (我的个人资料)
好
Okay.
你的照片是签名大头照 我已经觉得好多了
Your picture is a signed headshot. I'm already feeling better.
你似乎勾选了「好奇型双性恋」
Uh, you appear to have checked the box "bi-curious."
我以为是「东西两岸奔波」 难怪有些回应怪怪的
I thought it said "bi-coastal." That explains some of the responses.
好 我需要再大笑一次 找到了
Okay, I need one more good laugh and yes, there it is.
在「正在寻觅」底下 你选「对频」
Under, "Looking for," you've said, "Clicker."
对 我都找不到频道
Well, yeah, I can't-- I can't find it anywhere.
而且我觉得电视明星找不到频道蛮酷的
Plus, I think it's kinda cool that a TV star can't find his clicker,
因为很有亲切感
'cause it's so relatable.
好 我又是你的朋友了
Yeah, I'm your friend again.
老实说 查尔斯 我真的很高兴你要找对象了
Honestly, Charles, I-- I'm really glad that you're getting out there.
谢谢 这个小冒险也不会
Well, thank you. And this little, uh, side venture
转移我对案子的注意力
won't take my focus away from the case.
我要去找苏菲亚
I'm going to see Sofia.
天啊
And-- Oh, boy.
蓓蒂葛莱宝 真可口 我不介意...
Mm, Betty Grable, yum, yum, yum. I wouldn't mind having a...
我得远离即将在这里发生的事
So, I need to be away from whatever is happening here.
我们要去询问大楼的员工 苏菲亚就交给你了
We are gonna go question the building staff and you've got Sofia.
别搞砸了 查尔斯
Don't fuck it up, Charles.
好
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
放下阳♥具♥摆饰 看着我
Phallic knickknack down, eyes on me.
你是怎么了 - 什么意思 没事啊
What is going on with you? - What do you mean? Nothing.
你在举重 行为怪异
You're lifting weights, you're acting weird.
你在说什么 没事啊 我只是在吃新的综合维他命
What are you talking about? It's nothing. I'm just taking a new multivitamin.
我在吃睪固酮
I'm taking testosterone.