公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）

which invented a medicine to cure lead poisoning.
赚了好几十亿
Made billions.
他自诩为害群之马慈善家
He branded himself as, uh, this black sheep philanthropist,
但这家伙是个禽兽
but the guy is a monster.
他上一个非营利组织资助了游击组织
His last nonprofit funneled money to guerrilla groups.
是恐♥怖♥分♥子♥ 不是灵长类 继续说鸟吧
The terrorists, not the primates. L-Let's-- let's keep it on birds.
他是松鸦
He's the Eurasian Jay.
我也鸟儿上身了
I, too, get my bird on.
好 你展现很多新面向
Okay, lotta new colors on you.
总之 既然松鸦少了一只爪子...
Anyway, since the Jay bird is missing a claw...
不 抱歉 我不玩了 他少了一根手指 所以显然...
No, I'm sorry, I'm done. He's missing a finger, so, it's obviously--
不 我们还没说完
No, no, no. We're not done.
巴斯史帝德 AI天才 长寿狂
Bash Steed. AI genius, longevity freak.
比外表老很多 但没人知道多老
Way older than he looks, but no one knows how old
因为网路归他管
because he owns the internet.
这下我得查出他几岁了
Now, I have to find out how old he is.
他是鸮鹦鹉
He is the kākāpō.
据说它们在野外最多能活90年
They are known to live up to 90 years in the wild.
最后是卡蜜拉怀特
And finally, Camila White.
生活风格女王 饭店大亨 喀什米尔公爵夫人
Lifestyle queen, hotel magnate, duchess of cashmere.
你可以买♥♥闻起来像她鼻子内部的蜡烛
You can buy a candle that smells like the inside of her nose.
她是装潢女王 园丁鸟 美丽鸟巢的创造者
She is the queen of decor. The bowerbird, maker of beautiful nests.
好 总之
Okay, anyways,
查尔斯的冷冻库里有根手指 我们有个嫌犯少了一根手指
there's a finger in Charles's freezer and we have a suspect missing a finger.
我们要怎么接近杰
So, how do we get to Jay?
让他知道我们盯上他了
We let him know we're onto him.
对
Yes.
虽然我们《大楼谋杀疑云》
And while we here at Only Murders in the Building
还没有指名道姓
aren't pointing fingers just yet...
但我们正涉入新旧黑帮之间的危险水域
...we're wading into the dangerous waters of both old mob and new.
超有钱的权力掮客 不用断人手臂就能称心如意
Uber rich powerbrokers who don't have to break an arm to get what they want.
他们只要开支票就行
They just write a check.
现在没人开支票了
No one writes checks anymore.
我们已经大概知道 谁可能是这两起命案的幕后黑手
We already have some ideas about who has a partial hand in these two deaths,
- 所以别错过第五季 - 太棒了
- so don't miss season five. - This is so good.
他绝对会跟我们联络 他会想为自己辩护
Oh, we're definitely gonna hear from him. He'll wanna defend himself.
发布吧 年轻人
Post, young one!
真希望我们有用「指骨」这个词
I do wish we'd worked in the word "phalange."
好 我说最后一次 查尔斯 「指骨慈善家」不是好的双关语
Okay, for the last time, Charles, phalange-thropist is not a good pun.
很好笑啊
That's funny.
对你来说
To you.
- 天啊 你好 - 艾希亚...THē
- Oh, my God, hi! - Althea-- THē.
- 这位是奥利佛 - 你好
- Um, this is Oliver. - Oh, hello.
- 你好吗 - 你好 好可爱的抱枕
- How are you? - Hi. Cute pillows.
对 我要留给小梅宝 让她布置新公♥寓♥
Yes, I'm bequeathing them to young Mabel for her new apartment.
你人真好
That is so kind of you.
我可以自己买♥♥抱枕 但这些是米索尼的古董
I mean, I could buy myself pillows, it's just, these are vintage Missoni.
THē 你好 我是哈尔德莫里斯
THē! Hi! Howard Morris.
那就是THē
That's THē.
- 你好 哈尔德 - 你好
- Uh, hello, Howard. - Hi.
THē是连续13周下载次数最多的歌♥手
THē is the number one most downloaded artist for 13 weeks in a row.
这是她当红的歌♥曲
Here's her current hit.
女孩 真可爱 你整天想着我
? Oh, that's cute You're thinking 'bout me all day ?
不好意思
Oh, excuse me, pardon me.
真迷人 好 天啊 别闹了
Glamorous! Okay. Oh, my God, stop it!
等等 怎么停了
Wait, why did it stop?
我开玩笑的
Oh, I'm just-- I'm just kidding.
总之 梅宝 你好吗 你的线上电台进行得如何
Anyway, Mabel, how are you? How's your little podcast going?
好极了 我们几天前释出了第五季的预告
Great. We dropped our season five teaser a few days ago.
收听率比第四季预告低了24%
Their listens are 24% lower than their season four teaser.
你们有听新的线上电台 《酒醉荡♥妇♥聊谋杀》吗
Oh, did you all hear the new podcast Drunk Sluts Do Murder?
天啊 有 我爱荡♥妇♥
Oh, my God, yes. I love the sluts.
- 大家又说「荡♥妇♥」了吗 - 荡♥妇♥会说
- Do people say "slut" again? - Sluts do.
你有听她们跟法医
Did you hear the one where they play strip beer pong
- 玩脱衣啤酒乒乓那集吗 - 超乎想象
- with the forensics expert? - Beyond.
《酒醉荡♥妇♥聊谋杀》 领先《大楼谋杀疑云》19名...
Drunk Sluts Do Murder are ranked 19 spots higher than Only Murders--
不 别难过
No. No, don't feel bad.
那只是因为Wondify一直逼我们听荡♥妇♥
Don't feel bad. It's just 'cause Wondify is, like, shoving the sluts down our throats, you know?
独♥立♥作品很难被注意到 对吧
It's so hard to get noticed when you're indie, right?
其实我们刚跟Wondify签下大合约
We actually just signed a huge deal at Wondify.
所以准备被逼着听我们的节目吧
So, be prepared to have us down your throats, too.
真的吗
We did?
我还是不敢相信
I mean, I-- I still can't believe it.
太棒了
That is amazing!
天啊 你知道你需要什么吗 你需要我的公♥关♥
Oh my God, so you know what you need?
他的直觉很准 他会通灵 他还是职业杀手
You need my publicist. He's so intuitive. He's psychic, and he's a hired assassin.
但别说是我说的 好吗
But you did not hear that from me, okay?
再见 哈尔德 再见 机器人
Bye, Howard! Bye, robot.
- 再见 女孩 - 再见 女孩
- Bye, girl! - Bye, girl.
我说谎了 但也许这不是坏事
So, I lied, but maybe that's not a bad thing,
因为我现在要寄很猛的提案过去
because now I'm sending in this kick-ass pitch,
他们会给我们线上电台的合约吧
and they'll offer us a podcast deal, right?
已经有一部关于我们的电影了 而且...
I mean, there's already a movie about us, and I--
我只是很惊讶他们还没找上门来
I'm, you know, just shocked that they haven't come to us already, you know?
梅宝 你为什么要这么做
Mabel, why did you do this?
好吧
Okay, fine.
我和艾希亚在中学时是彼此唯一的朋友
Althea and I were each other's only friend in middle school.
我当时非常信任她
I trusted her with everything.
我们会扮演角色来拍愚蠢的短片
And we'd make these stupid little videos where we'd play these characters,
晴晴和云云
Sunny and Cloudy.
晴晴很乐观 云云就比较阴郁
Sunny was optimistic. Cloudy was, well, cloudy.
而你是云云
And you were Cloudy.
不 我是晴晴
No, I was Sunny.
- 那就是笑点 - 什么意思
- Oh, so that's the joke. - What do you mean?
继续说
Uh, just continue.
总之 柔伊过世时...
Anyway, then when Zoe died--
柔伊这名字很耳熟
Zoe... is a familiar name.
奥利佛 梅宝的朋友 屋顶
Oliver, Mabel's friend. The roof.
第一季的
Oh, from season one!
天啊 太令人难过了
Oh, my God, that was so sad.
对 我当时过得不太好
Yeah, well, I-- I wasn't doing that great.
我夏季都待在这里
I stayed here for the summer
心情沮丧
and depressed.
我回家时 艾希亚完全变了一个人
And then, when I went home, Althea had completely changed.
她交了一堆新朋友 让大家讨厌我
She had made all new friends and turned everyone against me.
我情绪有点失控
I kind of spiraled and spent the rest of high school
高中后半段都待在房♥间用Tumblr
in my room with Tumblr.
那是色情片网站
That's a pornography site.
已经不是了 他们毁了它
Not anymore. They ruined it.
现在这个让我不想交朋友的人来了
Well, now, the person who has turned me off having friends...
还是第一名 我们才32名 而且...
...is here at number one while we are 32, and...
我的老男人朋友在我倾诉创伤时传简讯
Um, are my old-men friends texting while I trauma dump?
杰福鲁格刚传了一段影片给我们
Jay Pflug just sent us a video.
线上电台人 我听到你们的预告了 你们似乎有些想法
Hey, podcasters, heard your teaser. Sounds like you have some thoughts.
我七点会过去交代一切
I'll be by at 7:00 to clear things up.
该死
Oh, shit.
有个亿万富翁要来吃晚餐
A billionaire is coming to dinner.
香槟 鱼子酱 歌♥帝梵
Champagne, caviar, Godiva.
这是你要给亿万富翁吃的晚餐
This is what you're serving a billionaire for dinner?
不 我们不提供晚餐
No, no, no, we don't serve dinner.
我们提供咸味甜点 让他口渴
We serve salty sweets to make him thirsty,
然后只提供香槟给他喝
then offer him nothing to drink but bubbly.
他会断片 坦白一切 这是我的方法
He'll get blackout and tell us everything. This is my way.
对 让可能的杀人凶手 饿到生气又喝醉 好计画
Yes, let's get a possible murderer hangry and drunk. Great plan.
你邀请别人在七点过来 就得准备晚餐
If you invite someone over at 7:00, you have to serve 'em dinner.
这是社会的规则 所以我带了...
It's a rule of society. And that's why I brought...
那是什么 《大宪♥章♥》
What is that, the Magna Carta?
不 是我曾祖母的香橙鸭胸食谱
No, it's my great-gran's recipe for duck à l'orange.
是亿万富翁的最爱
It's a billionaire's delight.
查尔斯 没人需要你的 17世纪老女人食物和过时的社会规则
Charles, no one needs your 17th-century old lady food and outdated social rules.
你知道我在这招待过多少亿万富翁吗