公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）

你绝对想不到 不同的毛毡会影响纸牌滑动的方式
and you'd be surprised how different felts can affect the card slide.
你想丢得好 让牌...
You wanna get a good toss and have the card--
天啊 他把赌博变无聊了
My God, he managed to make gambling boring.
可以继续谈尼奇吗
Can we get back to Nicky?
一定要直呼尸体的名字吗
Do we have to call the body by its name?
连龙虾都不该被取名字
I mean, you're not even supposed to name lobsters.
我们只知道他的名字
Well, his name is the only thing we know about him.
有点奇怪 这是我们第一次不认识死者
It's kind of weird. First time we didn't know a victim.
应该不难猜出他是什么样的人吧
It's easy to guess the kind of guy he was, I suppose.
我没办法看着他
Oh, I can't stand to look at him.
怎么了
What's the matter?
在想你会怎么陈尸在这间公♥寓♥里吗
Thinkin' about what your corpse is gonna look like in this apartment?
我猜你会独自死在卧室里
I'm guessin' you're gonna die alone, in the bedroom.
或是马桶上 那也是很热门的地点
Or on the toilet. Also a popular pick.
为什么我老是遇到这种事
Why does this always happen to me?
或许你会让情况变得很有趣
Or maybe you'll make things really interesting
独自死在洗衣车里
and die alone in a laundry cart, huh?
就像我 但我不是独自死掉的
Twinsies! Except I didn't die alone.
我有个火♥辣♥的老婆 但我不用多说她的事吧
I got a hot wife. But I don't gotta tell you about her, do I?
你这个小变♥态♥
You little perv.
好 以上就是这一集的 《CSI犯罪现场:我的公♥寓♥》
Okay, and this ends this episode of "CSI: My Apartment."
我们把尸体放回去吧
Let's take the body back.
真的吗 - 听我说
Really? - Hear me out.
我们找到信封 所以我们知道莱斯特去过娱乐室
We found the envelope, so we know that Lester was in the gaming room.
如果你说对毛毡的事 那尼奇也去过
If you're right about the felt, Nicky was in there, too.
如果他们的死有任何关联
And if there's any chance these deaths are linked,
难道我们不该为莱斯特查清楚吗
don't you think we owe it to Lester to find out?
有关联 他们的死相隔一周
Linked? They died a week apart.
他确实穿着跟我婚礼那天一样的衣服
He is wearing the same clothes from the day of my wedding.
他可能在那之后就死了
He could have been dead since then.
你们看他的栀子花 没有枯萎
Look at his gardenia. It's not wilted.
他是最近才死的
He died recently.
我赞同 有些地方说不通
I agree, something's not adding up.
我们把莱斯特的尸体交给警♥察♥ 结果他们说是意外
Look, we handed Lester's body to the cops, and they called it "an accident."
我们真的要对尼奇做同样的事吗
Are we really gonna do the same thing with Nicky?
我知道有点恶心 但我们可以利用这个机会
I know it's kind of gross, but this is an opportunity for us to look
来找本来不可能找到的线索
for clues we'd otherwise never get.
再说 这对线上电台也是好事
Plus, it'd be good for the podcast.
我不认为别人有这种机会
I mean, I don't think anybody's doing this.
我喜欢好的新尝试
I do love a good "first."
我想偷看一下也无妨
Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to take a little peek.
我们要验尸 - 我说偷看一下 是偷看一下
We're doing an autopsy? - I said a peek, a little peek!
好 对
Okay, yes, yes.
验尸步骤一 死因
Autopsy step one, cause of death.
我要大胆猜测是「胸口中了切肉刀」
Well, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say meat cleaver to the chest.
切肉刀
"Meat cleaver."
很好
Nice.
我一直想在收费站被人枪杀
You know, I always wanted to get gunned down in a toll booth,
像桑尼柯里昂那样 但电子收费系统害我梦想破灭
Sonny Corleone style. But that dream went out the window with E-ZPass.
但这样也不赖 比你以后无趣的死法
Still, this isn't bad. Better than whatever boring way
好多了 对吧 萨维奇
you're gonna go out, right, Savage?
死亡时间
Time of death.
《尸体是克莉丝蒂》
"Corpse is Cristy."
那个关于克莉丝蒂特哈斯的线上电台
That podcast about Cristy Tejas,
在德州圣体市死掉的女大生
the co-ed who died in Corpus Christi, Texas.
他们真幸运
Oh, they got so lucky.
整个案子都以她的死亡时间为中心
The whole case revolved around the time of her death.
有人得确认他有没有死后僵直
Someone's gonna have to check to see if he has rigor mortis.
好啦 我来
Fine, I'll do it.
好 没有死后僵直 所以他是几小时前死的
Ah-ha! No rigor mortis. So, he died in the last few hours.
或是死后僵直已经过了 他又变柔软了
Or the rigor mortis has already passed and he's limbered up again.
对 看来血已经积在他的脚踝了
Yeah, it looks like blood has pooled by his ankles.
那应该不会马上发生
I don't think that's supposed to happen right away.
可能是我之前吃的肉丸三明治流下的酱汁
Probably a little sauce from that meatball sandwich I was eating earlier.
轻松搞定
Bada-bing!
你真以为我是这样讲话的
Seriously, this is how you imagine I speak?
我知道我是黑道家族的一分子 但你冒犯到我了
I mean, I know I'm a member of the family, but I'm personally offended.
我念过康乃尔大学耶
I went to Cornell, you know.
好吧 我没念过康乃尔 但你又不知道
Okay, fine, I didn't go to Cornell, but you didn't know that.
他的袖子上有白色的物质
And there's this white substance on his sleeve.
也许是古♥柯♥碱 - 让我闻一闻
Maybe cocaine? - Ooh, let me sniff.
我在1980年代是剧场导演
I directed theater in the '80s, I could probably tell you
我大概能说出它来自哥伦比亚的哪条街
the exact street in Colombia it came from.
我觉得它看起来像油漆
I think it looks like paint.
对 天啊 我好想念古♥柯♥碱
Yeah. Gee, I miss cocaine.
我相信它也很想你 朋友
I'm sure it misses you too, pal.
(胸中切肉刀) (白色物质)
(何地 动机 ) (手法 原因 )
没有蛆或丽蝇卵的迹象
No sign of maggots or blowfly eggs.
我本来还觉得饿呢
And I was just getting hungry. Ugh.
别嫌我恶心
Don't "ugh" me.
怎么 你的尸体就不会有蛆吗
What, your corpse is too good for maggots,
或是这女孩说的其他东西
or whatever those other things this girl said are?
(没有虫卵或蛆)
绳子的勒痕 这可能是桃色犯罪
Rope marks. Ooh, this could be a sexy crime.
你可能该检查他的乳♥头♥
We probably should check his nipples.
(手腕上有环状痕迹)
(正常乳♥头♥)
这是什么
What's this?
不 不要用名牌夹子
No, not the Sur la Table tongs!
拜托你别说有蛆
Oh, please don't say maggots. Please don't say maggots.
不 这有点像烫伤
No, it kinda looks like a burn.
(烫伤 )
虽然僵直显示尼奇已经死好几天了
While rigor indicates Nicky's been dead for days,
腐烂程度却显示他是最近才死的
the decomp level suggests he died recently.
哇 太酷了
Wow, that was so cool.
就是说啊 我散发出梅若迪丝葛蕾的气息
I know, I'm giving, like, Meredith Grey vibes.
你似乎对验尸的事感到很开心
You seem awfully cheery about this autopsy.
我知道在尸体旁这么说很奇怪
I know this is weird to say over a dead body,
但我觉得我现在过得很好
but I feel like I'm in a really good place in life right now.
没错
You are.
你在做生平第一次验尸 你的新公♥寓♥也越来越像回事了
You're doing your first autopsy. Your new apartment is really shaping up.
就是说啊
I know.
我觉得我在这栋大楼里 挣得了一席之地 我觉得...
It feels like I've earned my spot in the building. And I feel--
等等 抱歉 死亡时间还是没着落
Wait, sorry, we still don't have time of death. What we need is leftovers.
对 我们需要的是剩菜 查尔斯 你家冰箱里有什么
Charles, what do you have in your fridge?
冷冻库里有些中国菜 但已经放两个月了...
I think I have some Chinese in the freezer, but it's a couple of months--
好极了
Perfect!
我最伟大的创作突破 都来自重新加热的中国菜
All my greatest creative breakthroughs have happened over reheated Chinese food.
(莱斯特 你最好是死了或受了重伤)
(又是我 又来问虾子的事 )
(别逼我帮你去肠泥 )
万一这是莱斯特死前最后看到的东西呢
What if this is the last thing Lester saw before he died?
我为了虾子大骂他
Me, yelling at him about shrimp.
奥利佛...
Oliver.
他为我做了那么多 我是自恋狂吗
After all he did for me. Am I a narcissist?
不 只是临床上的自恋啦
No! I mean, just clinically.
什么
What?
梅宝 当你想到我 第一个想到的词是什么
Mabel, what's the first word that comes to mind when you think of me?
自恋狂
Oh, narcissist.
搞什么
What the hell?
我怎么到55岁才发现这件事
How am I just learning this at 55?
听着 你无法改变 你对莱斯特说的最后一句话
Look, you can't change the last things you said to Lester,
也无法改变你的本性
and you can't change who you are.
我们是复杂的角色
We are complex characters.
我们是有缺陷的英雄 有缺陷的家伙 有缺陷的...
We are flawed heroes. Flawed dudes. Flawed...
幸运的混♥蛋♥ 抱歉 我不是故意要说得这么哲学
...lucky fuckers. Sorry, I didn't mean to get philosophical.
对 你怎么会这么说
Yeah, where is this coming from?
每次我厨房♥里出现尸体就会这样
It happens every time I have a dead body in my kitchen.
兄弟
Hey, buddy.
喜欢奥利佛拿手的微波饺子吗
Enjoying Oliver's famous microwaved dumplings?
他成功让饺子外层超滚烫 内层却整个冻坏了
He managed to make it boiling hot on the outside, yet freezer burned on the inside.
奥利佛 你是天才
Oliver, you're a genius.
天啊 你两分钟前怎么没说
Wow, where was that word two minutes ago?
如果尼奇耳朵后面的烫伤 不是一般的烫伤